For Love's Sake

105: The Protector-Provider Role for Black Men [Part 2]

Fri, 20 Mar 2026 00:00:58 +0000

Join us for Part 2! Dr. Jae is in the studio with her husband, Jeremiah, to continue their protector-provide conversation.

We explore capacity versus desire, legacy versus lineage, community versus individual responsibility, and the systemic shifts that reshaped dating and marriage in the Black community over the last 50 years.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠?

Choose your option⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my next study by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Literature & Links:

⁠⁠⁠⁠The DC Relationship Education Center⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Connect with Me:

104: The Protector-Provider Role for Black Men [Part 1]

Fri, 06 Mar 2026 01:00:23 +0000

In this conversational episode, Dr. Jae sits down with her husband, Jeremiah, to unpack a question that keeps showing up at women’s tables and in the culture: Are men naturally wired to protect and provide—and do marriage-minded men actually want to?

Jeremiah offers a grounded framework for what “husband” means to him: caring for the woman and tending to the shared marriage space. Together, they explore “coverage” as a concept that blends protection and provision, the difference between egoless protection vs. possessive control, and why a man’s willingness to compete for a woman’s time and commitment is a meaningful signal.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠?

Choose your option⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my next study by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

103: The Media & Black Millennial Relationships

Fri, 20 Feb 2026 01:00:57 +0000

Join me as I discuss a 2025 peer-reviewed study on Black love and media representation to explore how TV, film, and pop culture have quietly shaped Black millennials’ beliefs about love, conflict, gender roles, emotional safety, and partnership readiness.

If you’ve ever wondered why dating feels harder than it “should,” why expectations feel mismatched, or why love feels delayed rather than denied, this conversation is for you.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠?

Choose your option⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

102: Two Coping Strategies for Black Romantic Relationships

Fri, 06 Feb 2026 01:00:47 +0000

What does it really take for Black couples to stay emotionally connected in a world that feels heavy?

In this episode, I break down powerful relationship research to explore how Black couples cope with racial stress—and how those coping styles shape intimacy, support, and conflict inside romantic relationships.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠?

Choose your option⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.joyicerobinson.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@joyicerobinson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a Session⁠⁠⁠⁠

101: From Fear to Forever: Why Black Men Marry

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 01:00:44 +0000

In this research-centered, I dive into a powerful qualitative study exploring why Black men choose marriage—from the voices of Black men who actually said yes.

Building on Episode 100 (which examined how never-married Black men think about marriageability), this conversation centers married Black men and asks a critical follow-up question: What pushed you toward commitment—and what almost stopped you?

Drawing from a study of 52 married Black men, this episode unpacks the emotional, relational, spiritual, and practical factors that shaped their decisions to marry—and what Black women and couples can learn from their honesty.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠services⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠?

Choose your option⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.joyicerobinson.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@joyicerobinson⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a Session⁠⁠⁠⁠

88: Welcoming Joyice to the BIG 4-0!

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 08:04:00 +0000

Join me as I celebrate my 40th turn around the sun and the second anniversary of my pod! Today’s show is a vulnerable, wisdom‑packed walkthrough of my year‑long “Journey to 40” Selfhood Project. From sun‑drenched Mediterranean moments to soul‑stretching grief work, I share how an intentional blueprint can change the way we show up in life, love, and legacy.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?

Choose your option ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Book your ⁠⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

This is 40 IG Carousel
Journey to 40
My 20 Intentions
The Fourth Generation
See the new site: The DC Relationship Education Center

Connect with Me:

87: the Beauty of Menopausal Women

Sun, 01 Jun 2025 08:04:00 +0000

Join me as I celebrate women 40+, particularly navigating life beyond their mooning years and entering their wisdom era. With a mix of science, lived experience, and cultural reverence, this episode unpacks the Grandmother Hypothesis, dispels ageist myths, and reminds listeners that the value of a woman deepens, not declines, with age.

From evolutionary biology to ancestral intelligence, I speak truth to power about the distinct beauty and purpose of women in their menopausal and postmenopausal years. Whether you’re a mother, auntie, godmother, or simply a woman growing deeper in her own becoming, this episode is a love letter to you.

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?

Choose your option⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.⁠

Submissions:

Submit your⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Book your⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Submit your⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.joyicerobinson.com⁠
Instagram:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠@joyicerobinson⁠
Patreon:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me: ⁠Book a Session⁠
Be Featured:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Share a Secret Story⁠⁠⁠

86: Our Rebrand Story

Thu, 22 May 2025 15:11:40 +0000

In this behind‑the‑scenes solo episode, Joyice pulls back the curtain on her semi-unexpected, but divinely timed, rebrand. Expect equal parts testimony and strategy as Joyice catches you up on the major happenings in her life, shares her choice to rebrand, teaches some spiritual gems, and invites you in on what’s next for the pod!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?

Choose your option ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences.

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Book your ⁠⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

Being Seen in Marriage: Why Year 4 Matters
AERA Research Recap
See the new site: The DC Relationship Education Center

Connect with Me:

Pop-Up 27: Validation & Challenge

Fri, 07 Feb 2025 02:04:00 +0000

Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about a sensitive complementary pair, Validation & Challenge, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how to provide them with practical examples for both men and women.

Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?

Choose your option ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences. ⁠⁠⁠⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email me a ⁠⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Book your ⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Submit your ⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

⁠⁠February Monthly Conversation⁠⁠

CORRECTION: The Conversation is on Feb 16th, not the 9th.

Connect with Me:

Website: ⁠⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Patreon: ⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Book a Session⁠⁠⁠
Be Featured: ⁠⁠Share a Secret Story⁠⁠⁠

Pop-Up 26: Admiration & Adoration

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 05:03:00 +0000

Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about an essential complementary pair, Admiration & Adoration, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how to activate them with practical examples for both men and women.

Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to ⁠⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching?

Choose your option ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences. ⁠⁠

Submissions:

Submit your Secret Story⁠⁠⁠ or email me a podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠⁠⁠
Book your Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠
Submit your Safe Story⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

February Monthly Conversation

CORRECTION: The Conversation is on Feb 16th, not the 9th.

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn

CORRECTION: This author has not earned a PhD.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠
Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠⁠⁠
Patreon: Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me: ⁠⁠⁠Book a Session⁠
Be Featured: Share a Secret Story⁠⁠

Pop-Up 25: Security & Stability

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 14:01:38 +0000

Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about a foundational complementary pair, Security & Stability, that every relationship needs. Listen in as we explain their definitions, distinctions, how they work together, and how you can work on developing them with practical examples for both men and women.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences. ⁠⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠⁠ or email me a ⁠⁠⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠⁠⁠
Book your ⁠⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠⁠
Submit your ⁠⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠⁠⁠ https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Book a Session⁠
Be Featured:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Share a Secret Story⁠⁠

Pop-Up 24: Complements, Not Opposites

Fri, 17 Jan 2025 14:03:58 +0000

Join Joyice and Jeremiah, a husband-wife team, in a conversation about the difference between complementary pairs and opposite pairs as a means of examining your thinking on how you approach dating, relationships, and marriage. Because it is important that we view men and women as complements, not opposites.

Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to ⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option ⁠⁠here⁠⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠⁠sharing your romantic experiences. ⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠⁠Secret Story⁠⁠ or email me a ⁠⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠⁠
Book your ⁠⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠⁠
Submit your ⁠⁠Safe Story⁠⁠

Literature & Links:

⁠Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar ⁠⁠
⁠Nudge ⁠by Richard H. Thaler & Cass R. Sunstein
⁠January 2025 Specials & Deals⁠

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠⁠ ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠⁠ ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠⁠ ⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠⁠
Work With Me:⁠⁠ ⁠Book a Call⁠⁠⁠
Be Featured:⁠⁠ ⁠Share a Secret Story⁠

Special 15: Gaining Hindsight, Insight, and Foresight Knowledge

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 05:03:00 +0000

Happy January, Lovebugs!

January is for reflection and revelation, and a time to understand the power of spiritual planting and to reconcile our human duality of good nature and evil inclination.

Join me in an exploration of more depth of who we are as women including reflective practices as an in-step task toward increasing our wisdom. I’m presenting four main topics: power of reflection (hindsight, insight, foresight), gratitude, cycles and seasons, the role of meaning-making, as well as some final thoughts.

Also, as always, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me like the one I share in this episode, then I invite you to ⁠drop your truth⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option ⁠here⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠sharing your romantic ⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠Secret Story⁠ or email me a ⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠

Book your ⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠

Submit your ⁠Safe Story⁠

Literature & Links: ⁠Join January’s Monthly Conversation ⁠

⁠2025 Moon, Mood, & Menses Calendar ⁠

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠ ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠ ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠ ⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠
Work With Me:⁠ ⁠Book a Call⁠⁠
Be Featured:⁠ ⁠Share a Secret Story⁠

Special 14: Valuing Sisterhood and Marriage Together

Fri, 03 Jan 2025 05:16:37 +0000

Happy New Year, Lovebugs!

Meet my best friend, Jessica. Join this conversation between me and her as we discuss how we became friends, our friend contract, motherhood, female intimacy, marriage and family, and turning 40–with a surfacing theme of redemption.

You’re in for a treat as you come to know a different side of me in this episode.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option ⁠here⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠sharing your romantic ⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠Secret Story⁠ or email me a ⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠

Book your ⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠

Submit your ⁠Safe Story⁠

Literature & Links:

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠ ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠ ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠ ⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠
Work With Me:⁠ ⁠Book a Call⁠⁠
Be Featured:⁠ ⁠Share a Secret Story⁠

Special 13: 2024 "Black Love" Wrapped

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 05:03:00 +0000

Happy New Year’s Eve, Lovebugs!

Kaity and I are back with another fun and festive show to close the year, and we’re inviting you along to play with us. Join us as we share our expertise and personalities and discuss at least one story per month for all of 2024.

For each story, we’ll judge it as either MESSY or MAGICAL. As you listen to our takes, decide for yourself or see if you can guess the one we chose.

CORRECTION: I mentioned one wedding from a Match Marry Mate client, but we had TWO! :)

HOW I CAN HELP YOU: Interested in mentorship or coaching? Choose your option ⁠here⁠.

HOW YOU CAN HELP ME: Contribute to my dissertation by ⁠sharing your romantic ⁠

Submissions:

Submit your ⁠Secret Story⁠ or email me a ⁠podcast@matchmarrymate.com⁠

Book your ⁠Awareness + Secret Story Session⁠

Submit your ⁠Safe Story⁠

Literature & Links Mentioned:

⁠Special 06: 2023 “Black Love” Wrapped⁠

⁠Who TF Did I Marry: 3 Lessons from RessaTeesa⁠

⁠10 Lessons Learned from the “Who TF Did I Marry?” Series⁠

⁠The Kind of Love That Black Women Make: Female Capital & Cost⁠

Connect with Me:

Website:⁠ ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠
Instagram:⁠ ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠
Patreon:⁠ ⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠
Work With Me:⁠ ⁠Book a Call⁠⁠
Be Featured:⁠ ⁠Share a Secret Story

28: Becoming Her

Sun, 19 May 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Welcome to the Season 4 Finale, Lovebugs! I am joined by a Match Marry Mate client, Daphne, whose journey through motherhood and romance is nothing short of inspiring. Listen in as Daphne and I explore the importance of building a support network tailored to our mental health needs, the transformative power of embracing vulnerability, and the significance of nurturing our sons while also empowering them to forge their own paths.

As she shares, she teaches us so much about the intersection of womanhood and motherhood, the impact of absent fathers on maternal emotional intelligence, and the importance of fostering emotional safety in our sons. Daphne also draws connections between maternal care and romantic choice.

Stay tuned for what is coming next, and let’s spring into womanhood together! Also, don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[2:14] - Join me for the inspiring season finale with Daphne, exploring themes of empowerment and motherhood!
[5:58] - Daphne feels that building a support network, similar to assembling a team, is essential for mental well-being.
[7:39] - Who is on Daphne’s emotional health team?
[9:29] - Daphne explains that having supportive coaches and mentors leads to meaningful self-realizations.
[12:19] - Embrace the journey, understand oneself, and avoid forced, unnecessary timelines.
[14:45] - I prioritize empowering women's self-confidence, emphasizing strength and care.
[18:03] - Investing in spiritual and emotional health is crucial for holistic well-being and personal growth.
[19:32] - Daphne's journey toward inner peace involved understanding her emotions and embracing her power as a woman.
[22:24] - Receive emotions as sources of intellect that lead to intelligence and personal growth.
[23:12] - Daphne confesses that she knew she needed to improve her mothering skills.
[26:37] - I assist women in navigating relationships with men, including the connection between womanhood and motherhood.
[29:36] - Understanding the influence we have on others, especially our children, is a key part of navigating womanhood too.
[31:57] - Daphne explains how her transformation was organic but brought vulnerability and deeper self-reflection, aligning motherhood and dating experiences.
[33:52] - Empowering dating mothers involves aligning expectations with parenting insights.
[36:38] - Motherhood extends beyond mere nurture, especially for sons.
[39:00] - Reminded of Psalm 31, I discuss how mothering quality is also reflected in children's acknowledgment.
[42:51] - Recognizing her maternal impact on her son's development, Daphne embraces her nurturing role as a single mom.
[44:59] - Realizing the importance of choosing male influences on her son, Daphne prioritizes her son's development.
[46:14] - Mothers can design their own lives and influence their children's upbringing.
[48:00] - I embrace my choosing power to shape my son's future positively.
[50:36] - Daphne, throughout her motherhood journey, acknowledges the importance of celebrating small victories.
[52:50] - As mothers, should we prioritize nurture or Hear how, prioritizing nurturing over strict discipline?
[54:16] - I passionately support emotional safety and understanding for Black men.
[56:35] - Managing father absenteeism, mothers often feel pressure to overcompensate.
[58:44] - Fathers tend to impart guidance while mothers foster emotional safety that mold’s a son’s development.
[1:01:02] - A mother's role in fostering emotional safety shapes her son's ability to communicate and builds generational emotional well-being.
[1:04:17] - I share my example of fostering interdependence as my sons grow, transitioning from “mother” to “consultant.”
[1:06:08] - Balancing independence and influence is key with raising sons and in dating men.
[1:10:59] - Valuing affirmation and authenticity, I emphasize embracing one's unique self for meaningful connections.
[1:13:29] - Daphne embraces intentional progression, seeking alignment and connection when dating.
[1:15:03] - Daphne feels thrilled with the progress she has made with “Mr. Sunflower.”
[1:17:59] - Daphne enters the Sacred Sister Circle with me.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron

Book a Call

Share a Secret Story

27: Mother-Daughter Lessons

Sun, 12 May 2024 13:03:00 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Welcome to our Mother’s Day episode where I am joined by my mother, Mama Marie, for an intimate mother-daughter chat.

My mother shares four valuable gems with us:

A storied lesson about testing the authenticity of men.
An explanation of two Mareisms that she is most known for with my audience.
A lesson in womanhood from her life and the impact of feminine wisdom is mine.
One lesson that girl-moms should be sure to teach their daughters.

My audience has been asking to hear from my mama since 2022, and today I have delivered! I coach often about mother-daughter relationships, so it is only fitting that I share a glimpse of me and my mama’s relationship too. Last year, my Women’s History Month ⁠blog post⁠, analyzing The Women of Brewster of Place, really hit home for my readers. I hope this show blesses you the same as well.

I realize that some people are sad or in a mood on this day, so while I create space for that in this episode, this show is fun and light-hearted.

***If you are mourning your mother today, I pray for peace and comfort over you during this time. If you have lost a child, currently trying to conceive one, or preserving your right to have the option at this time, my heart is with you today too. May today be well with you no matter what kind of mother you had, and I pray for your strength as a mother for any lost, gone, of hoped for child(ren).***

In honor of my mother, this episode is dedicated to my late baby brother, Joshua. Enjoy!

Don’t forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to ⁠⁠drop your truth⁠⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

Connect with Me:

Website: ⁠⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠⁠

Instagram: ⁠⁠@matchmarrymate⁠⁠

⁠⁠Become a Patron⁠⁠

⁠⁠Book a Call⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠

⁠Share a Secret Story⁠

26: Female Negotiation

Sun, 05 May 2024 04:05:00 +0000

In today's episode, inspired by a real-life story, we cover standards and expectations and relationship negotiation.

Picture a promising relationship on the horizon, both parties eager to commit, but suddenly, a hurdle appears. One partner feels the weight of meeting the other's standards, while the other wonders if their expectations are too high. Sound familiar? If so, then this episode is for you!

Listen in as I dissect the nuances of negotiation, from understanding each other's perspectives to navigating potential roadblocks. We'll explore the dynamics of trust, the balance of power, and the importance of knowing what you want. Through real-life examples and expert insights, I reveal the layers of communication and negotiation needed for a strong relationship foundation.

Also, remember that if you have a secret story to share with me like someone shared with me in this episode, don't hesitate to reach out!

Time Stamps:

[1:59] - This episode discusses relationship negotiation, trust, standards, and self-awareness.
[4:47] - Relationship standards reveal commitment tensions.
[5:52] - Negotiations involve mutual understanding and commitment to shared goals.
[8:45] - Understanding relationship dynamics includes recognizing ignorance and hesitancy.
[10:06] - Discussing the potential risks and burdens of intimacy helps set clear expectations.
[12:46] - Hear an example from my personal story.
[15:10] - Delay exclusivity until both partners are on the same page about the same things.
[17:50] - Mutual protection and understanding for both genders are necessary.
[20:08] - Cultural norms and family expectations heavily influence relationship dynamics and decision-making.
[24:45] - Trust needs to be earned.
[26:10] - Negotiating security involves understanding and accepting individual risks and responsibilities.
[29:08] - It’s important to know what you want in a relationship.
[31:44] - I end with thought-provoking questions, encouraging listeners to reflect on negotiation skills, self-protection strategies, and lessons learned.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

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25: Soft Life Singles

Sun, 28 Apr 2024 04:03:00 +0000

“Being a husband or even a male partner in a long-term relationship is not who you are as a man–it's an office you hold. It's an office that has been bestowed upon you, and you can lose it. You can't lose your manhood, but you can lose your office–any office that someone seeks to hold. ~Jeremiah

Is it true that a man showing up in a certain way can evoke new ways of being for a woman? Yes. But does femininity require the presence of man or what he can offer? No.” ~Joyice

Intro:

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I list 10 practices to infuse more softness into your life. From prioritizing self-care to fostering a community of support, we'll explore how embracing softness can transform your outlook and relationships. I also share insights on the concept of the "soft life" and how it intersects with modern romance.

Are you waiting for someone else to provide the comfort and ease you seek, or are you cultivating it within yourself? Let's unpack the dynamics of partnership and personal empowerment with a touch of vulnerability and reality!

To add male perspective, I invited my husband to the conversation to share his thoughts on the role of men in creating an environment where femininity can flourish effortlessly. Together, we will challenge conventional notions and discuss the balance between individual authenticity and relational harmony.

I pray you enjoy today’s show! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[2:07] - I am sharing ten practices for fostering softness with self-care and accountability.
[4:24] - I discuss the term “soft” and urge authenticity and balance in adopting its practices.
[5:26] - #1: Prioritize yourself as the central focus of life and reality.
[5:42] - #2: Embrace joy authentically, acknowledging pain without resorting to superficial positivity.
[6:32] - #3: Prioritize stillness and quietness for emotional and mental rejuvenation.
[7:19] - #4: Honor your capacities and limits.
[8:11] - #5: Build your community, nurture those relationships, and share mutual care.
[9:17] - #6: Factor your patterns and moods for optimized time and energy management.
[10:34] - #7: Embrace kindness and compassion, shaping your identity and fostering empathy.
[11:41] - #8: Let go at the perfect time.
[12:33] - #9: Delegate tasks that do not require your personal presence or signature.
[13:19] - #10 Mind your money and the quality of life it can afford.
[14:08] - Many Black modern women seek partners who complement their softness.
[20:08] - Men can support and foster environments conducive to femininity, complementing women's commitment to it, and Jeremiah adds his male perspective.
[22:04] - Jeremiah points out that partnerships entail roles that must be fulfilled.
[24:37] - Jeremiah adds that authenticity fosters effortless compatibility, where partners naturally complement each other without conscious effort.
[26:55] - True partnership embraces effortless compatibility, Jeremiah concludes, requiring genuine appreciation for each other's traits.
[29:41] - I close with today's thought-provoking questions.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

24: Grown Woman Growth

Sun, 21 Apr 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Lovebugs, today’s show has this leading question: What difference does a year make? For my client, Kera, this answer is so much grown woman growth. She graciously shares her personal journey and reflections from December 2022 to December 2023 in learning how to be more womanly-like as she progresses in her womanhood lessons and understanding how to relate to men.

Kera, in many ways, is a quintessential client. She’s her own woman not easily swayed by others but she is attune enough to realize she does not know it all and needs guidance. She remains present for coaching and stays active with dating, determined to hold them both until she gets what she wants. She is open, curious, and teachable. She had the boldness to live her life out loud and let you know when she disagrees or thinks you’re wrong. With proper mentorship and molding, she is a client who will eventually become the kind of woman and wife she seeks to be. But as the path is navigated, there is much to learn and while she makes her share of mistakes, she always repairs and recovers brilliantly.

You will not want to miss this episode!

I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[2:18] - I share a story from my client Kera today!
[4:38] - We will see Kera’s growth over a year.
[7:44] - Kera expresses how a post triggered her realization about a potential relationship.
[9:37] - A lack of foresight about Accra's size and opportunities for potential encounters caused Kera to not consider running into a man she was dating.
[10:29] - I emphasize the importance of a clear proposal within the context of my post.
[12:35] - I question why the possibility of encountering Mr. DC wasn't considered beforehand..
[14:33] - I acknowledge some disagreement between Kera and I but also value her honesty.
[17:41] - I suggest to Kera that she check in with Mr. DC's feelings.
[21:37] - I teach how to have a single but wife-minded perspective, including how men usually approach their plan for marriage.
[24:17] - It's important to consider possible consequences of your actions when dating.
[28:28] - Kera reflects on a tense moment with Mr. DC and shares what she learned from it.
[30:56] - Experience teaches us valuable lessons about men, ourselves, and relationships.
[33:08] - I discuss the importance of learning from mistakes and learning from them.
[36:50] - Mentorship and guidance while dating can be incredibly helpful.
[38:15] - Kera seeks guidance on gracefully declining a gift she won't use, prioritizing emotional sensitivity for her date.
[38:55] - I offer language on how Kera can explain that the gift is not her style while expressing appreciation to her date.
[40:16] - I teach how to approach conversations about not liking a gift a man has given, emphasizing the importance of her expressings desire for a meaningful connection, sharing the information he needs to know; I also prepare for possible responses.
[42:03] - I add that she should acknowledge the effort, offer feedback without overwhelming him, and communicate her appreciation over material specifics.
[44:33] - It's crucial to communicate preferences in gifts, acknowledging oversights, and nurturing healthy relationships.
[47:27] - Kera's accountability and self-awareness are admirable, leading to better navigation and growth; what a difference a year can make!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

23: Wife-Minded Singleness

Sun, 14 Apr 2024 04:03:00 +0000

"You want to determine not by pressuring a man or casting him to the novel that you've already written out, or even by over interrogating him, but through getting to know him over time." - Joyice

“When it comes to a man assessing the women he's dating for marriage, you want to be his vision, not his reason.” - Joyice

Intro:

What is Wife-Minded Singleness, and how can it help you on your dating journey? If you are enjoying your single season right now, but have marriage on your radar, this episode has your name on it!

I narrate some real-life examples for you straight from the trenches of dating and relationships. From ex encounters to heated arguments, these stories shed light on how certain behaviors can either build or break a budding connection.

These stories are not to rain on your parade. Rather, to offer guidance on how to navigate the dating landscape with grace and intentionality. It is necessary to learn how to strike a balance between your own authenticity while also keeping an eye on the prize.

As you continue on your journey through womanhood, remember that you are not just a single woman; you are a woman with the power to shape your own destiny AND someone’s future wife. Let’s discuss ways to embrace your singleness without remaining stuck in it.

Time Stamps:

[2:21] - I am discussing the single woman mentality.
[4:15] - Embracing singlehood is fine, but be mindful of your future relationship desires.
[5:27] - Men assess desired traits for marriage just as women do.
[8:21] - Maintain your boundaries to prevent exes from jeopardizing new connections.
[10:33] - Disrespectful behavior in conflict can derail commitment; readiness for marriage goes beyond words and desires.
[11:38] - Choose clarity and avoid over-identifying with singleness.
[13:57] - Prioritize developing your wife persona alongside your womanhood identity.
[15:28] - I detail how established relationships with Jeremiah's family unknowingly influenced some of his decision to choose me.
[20:38] - Jeremiah shares a clip of his experience that I catalog as “blindful ignorance” on a previous partner’s behalf.
[23:13] - Align your actions with future wife aspirations, not faking intentions.
[24:23] - I offer a Ready to Love character as an example of the importance of assessing a man's readiness for marriage by observing his lifestyle and actions, not just his words.
[26:02] - Before seeking marriage, women should embody the qualities of a wife, and men must commit beforehand.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

22: Womanhood Before Wifehood

Sun, 07 Apr 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Welcome to Season 4: Springing into Womanhood!

We’re delving into the heart of womanhood, exploring themes like love, compassion, acceptance, and more. Join me as we navigate through various stages of womanhood, from the possibilities of youth to the wisdom of maturity.

We’re kicking off the season in this show with the importance of prioritizing personal growth before committing to relationships. I share insights from my coaching practice around embracing your identity as a single woman before stepping into the role of a wife or mother. I explore several milestones in a woman's life, from first experiences to establishing independence and defining personal boundaries, and I reflect on my own journey as a thirty-something year-young woman.

Finally, I teach you how to create your "female prototype," a vision of the woman you aspire to become. Drawing inspiration from female archetypes and personal values, we craft a blueprint for our journey through womanhood!

Happy Spring, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[0:38] - Season 4 explores some stages of womanhood.
[4:57] - I am emphasizing the importance of individuality and identity in relationships.
[6:16] - I encourage women to engage in mentorship and peer relationships for personal growth.
[8:12] - Women under 25 experience emerging adulthood characterized by growth and transition.
[10:02] - In your late teens to early twenties, prioritize self-exploration and growth.
[13:05] - I argue that investing in first experiences and connections cultivates a foundation for navigating life's challenges.
[14:33] - Key milestones in womanhood, including first experiences and self-development, shape personal growth and fulfillment.
[17:25] - I reflect on how transitioning into my late 30s brings deeper connections with older women, offering wisdom and guidance.
[20:06] - I celebrate first love, self-care routines, setting boundaries, and career milestones as significant events in a woman's life.
[21:50] - I provide a shoutout to women at 39, as they reach a peak in various life aspects.
[24:04] - I point out that understanding oneself through milestones adds richness to life, aiding in balanced womanhood.
[26:49] - Maya Angelou's “Phenomenal Woman” poem celebrates the confidence and experience of maturing womanhood.
[28:34] - Between ages 28 and 35, particularly at 33, young adulthood solidifies identity and intimacy.
[30:08] - I assert that establishing identity before serious relationships fosters healthy intimacy skills, vital for commitment and communication.
[32:52] - I explain why it's important to take time to establish yourself and develop intimacy skills that enhance dating and relationships in adulthood.
[34:09] - Learn how creating a female prototype aids in navigating womanhood, evolving with you through different seasons.
[37:34] - I encourage you to identify with a woman prototype, whether realized or aspirational.
[40:28] - Reflect on diverse women in media and personal experiences to envision your own womanhood journey.
[43:27] - Craft your own womanhood prototype, envisioning who she is and how you'll become her!
[46:28] - In closing, I remind you to reflect on your ideal womanhood prototype and commit to evolving into her authentically.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Links & Literature Mentioned:

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Your Sacred Circle: These Three Women by Joyice Robinson Myers

“We should always make space for our own expressions of womanhood, just as it relates to who you are in and of yourself, and not any roles or titles that you hold.” - Joyice

“...There are different seasons of womanhood where one expression in this season doesn't make sense in another season. Womanhood is seasonal.” - Joyice

Special 08: Female Capital & Cost

Thu, 04 Apr 2024 10:51:52 +0000

Welcome back, lovebugs! I am in the studio with Vanessa as we share a read of our article titled The Kind of Love That Black Women Make: Female Capital & Cost, inspired by Terry McMillian’s Waiting to Exhale (1995). We offer practical wisdom for Black women seeking love and agency, and survey the various capital gains and losses of four Black female characters amid their romantic choices and situations. The

Also, if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Looking to book a one-on-one call with me for a discounted rate? If you’re willing for parts of your session to appear as an anonymous secret story on this podcast, book your call under Awareness +Secret Story. To keep this podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Pop-Up 16: Dating is Intentional

Fri, 29 Mar 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me for an episode centered around womanhood, dating, and the power of intention. Today, Alexandra shares three dating examples where she's applied a new level of intention to gain better results and safeguard from premature investment. In it, she breaks down her intention, strategy, and outcome.

Example No. 1: Alexandra sets clear boundaries, makes the most of her time, and manages tardiness. We discuss the importance of establishing your dating standards and boundaries in advance, protecting yourself from unnecessary disappointments.

Example No. 2: Alexandra builds pre-date rapport, adjusting to a new energy (from No. 1) and balances excitement and anticipation. (Spoiler alert: Alexandra's got a second date lined up!)

Example No. 3: Alexandra previews her strategy, adjusting from lessons learned in her first two dating examples. She adds playful interaction that builds anticipation, and I share insights on cultivating excitement between dates.

Happy Women’s History Month, and happy listening! I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you! See you in Season 4!

Time Stamps:

[0:42] - In honor of Women’s History Month, I shout out to Lena Waithe.
[2:42] - This episode is all about applying intention to your dating strategies as a woman.
[5:24] - I share real-life dating examples from a client, Alexandra.
[6:41] - Alexandra describes her first date, which she limits to one hour despite lateness.
[8:12] - I emphasize Alexandra's considerations, outlining key factors like minimal pre-date interaction, short notice, and time constraints.
[10:16] - I advocate for setting time frames in dating, shielding against disappointment by integrating dates into routine.
[12:41] - Alexandra dives into her second example, which went well and led to a second date.
[15:02] - I point out how Alexandra discerns differences in dating scenarios, noting rapport, timelines, and personalized standards.
[17:42] - I highlight the impact of a requested dinner date, advocating for intentional, strategic dating with confidence.
[19:57] - Alexandra shares her third tip: plan an engaging date, incorporate strategic elements based on prior interactions and anticipate a positive experience.
[21:35] - I conclude the coaching session with the importance of anticipation.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Pop-Up 15: Dating is Strategic

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I share a story shared with me from someone facing the nuance of local dating after typically preferring long-distance relationships. She seeks guidance on determining the right amount of time to invest.

We unpack the balance of personal time, the challenges of early-stage dating, and the importance of not losing oneself in the process. I share practical advice and teach about the dynamics of male competition and female choice in the world of mammals. Join me as I dissect this story and traverse through the landscape of modern relationships.

Time Stamps:

[0:46] - I honor Dr. Carla Hayden to celebrate Women’s History Month!
[4:36] - Navigating local dating challenges, this woman questions time investment and managing boundaries.
[5:15] - Guard your personal time fiercely; don't sacrifice it for early-stage relationships.
[7:28] - I encourage establishing equity in dating by allocating time fairly among potential partners.
[9:43] - Women tend to become attached to the level of time and energy we give which needs to be managed.
[10:02] - In the early stages of dating, assess men objectively, avoiding favoritism based on attention.
[11:32] - Recognize male competition dynamics and avoid rigging the dating game.
[14:21] - Hear why I suggest rejecting the notion of a "front runner" in dating.
[15:55] - Listen to Katt Williams say that talent supports elevation, and those with it should move forward.
[16:07] - Understand that the concept of selection and assessing the quality of potential partners is important.
[19:34] - In the dating competition, understanding your worth and setting standards dictates what you attract.
[21:53] - I point out how male competition for female access is ingrained in mammalian mating systems.
[24:11] - In the animal kingdom, gender roles are distinct: males compete, and females choose.
[25:15] - With mate selection, females are choosier due to their higher reproductive investment.
[28:45] - Females in the animal kingdom are also usually more likely to provide parental care.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Pop-Up 14: Dating is Fairy Tale•ish

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 04:03:00 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Today, we have a curated coaching session where a client and I explore being a woman and the complementary dance with male energy. We're answering the question: What happens when a man requests more time without exclusivity?

Set in Italy and Paris, my client learns how to navigate the delicate balance between dating while traveling as a digital nomad.

Time Stamps:

[0:48] - I shout out to Quinta Brunson in honor of Women’s History Month and recommend her book.

[2:51] - This pop-up episode is about owning your womanhood.

[5:15] - What do you do when he asks for more time?

[6:45] - Considering Mr. X's suggestion, my client contemplates altering her travel plans to stay in Paris.

[9:04] - I encourage the client to reconsider Mr. X's suggestion about staying longer in Europe.

[10:41] - I advise my client to communicate her need for clarity.

[12:49] - I encourage her to revisit the conversation to determine the strength of Mr. X's proposal.

[15:20] - I insist that she recognizes her efforts; she has earned the opportunity presented by Mr. X.

[16:54] - The client expresses excitement about the fairy-tale-like experience with Mr. X.

[19:08] - I reiterate the importance of clarifying and validating a man's proposal, ensuring substance and direction.

[20:43] - A man should explain and define his commitments, requests, invitations, and proposals.

[22:50] - Womanhood is expensive!

[24:47] - I offer a word of caution: Do not give too much to a man without him showing care and effort!

[26:26] - Courage and care are your friends!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature Mentioned:

She Memes Well by Quinta Brunson

Bonus 03: Recap with Mr. & Mrs. Myers

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 04:03:00 +0000

As always, at the close of each season, Jeremiah and I unite in the studio to offer you a bonus show! Welcome in, everyone! In closing Season 3, we're recapping all seven stories, and this episode is a must-listen for everyone!

We start with the importance of emotional support beyond physical attraction, then explore attraction dynamics, advising both men and women on recognizing and valuing each other beyond the surface.

We tackle the timing of realizations and developments in men, providing insights for women to navigate relationships. Jeremiah reflects on the evolution of clarity with age, highlighting the peak of self-discovery in the 30s and “peak man” at 40. We also discuss the significance of a woman's communication tone, men choosing marriage for fatherhood, traditional gender roles, Black community progress, effective communication, and the essence of leadership in a relationship. We cap it off by exploring vulnerability and resilience in men..

Tune in, lovebugs, for blessings and valuable takeaways as we navigate the complexities of relationships with humor, honesty, and the unique perspectives of both genders. Last, I invite you to drop your truth for a chance to have your story inspire the next Secret Story episode! As always, my role is to provide educational support and guidance, not clinical or mental health advice. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[0:34] - Jeremiah and I are wrapping up Season 3 with male and married-couple perspective on this season's stories!
[3:31] - Jeremiah argues that enduring physical chemistry is important in relationships, yet not the sole foundation; valuing women beyond appearance is crucial.
[6:55] - Believing in internal values, Jeremiah prioritizes curiosity over external desires, establishing goals before assessing compatibility.
[11:29] - Jeremiah points out that, with men, clarity evolves with age; in the 30s, self-discovery peaks, followed by applying lessons, solidifying one's sense of self by 35.
[14:16] - From his current perspective, Jeremiah believes that peak manhood is around 40, with proper care in career and health.
[16:09] - A mindful woman seeks a different response by understanding men's wiring and evoking uniqueness.
[18:03] - Jeremiah adds that mindful communication with a softer energy brings calmness, fostering necessary value for a man.
[21:13] - Reflecting on a scene from Waiting to Exhale, I explore how men can make women feel safe emotionally.
[24:29] - Providing distinctive comfort and relief requires deep understanding, and mastery in this fosters an irreplaceable connection.
[28:23] - Jeremiah argues that building a community involves seeing Black men as “the project,” molding and uplifting each other.
[31:52] - Exploring traditional gender norms, I address inconsistencies and seek insights for bridging the gap.
[33:19] - Tensions arise from income expectations, Jeremiah discusses; mutual support mechanisms are key.
[36:11] - Men should address career sacrifices in traditional roles, offering some financial support to ease impact on women's careers.
[39:14] - Emphasizing reciprocity, I discuss the importance of adapting expectations and minimizing sacrifices in relationships.
[43:39] - Jeremiah points out how keeping things balanced in relationships means showing gratitude and being responsible with what you offer.
[46:09] - It's important to genuinely appreciate each other to steer clear of resentment; keep those lines of communication open and aim for a high standard.
[48:58] - I point to the importance of valuing women beyond just motherhood.
[52:01] - Jeremiah feels that tough conversations about potential downsides of having children are crucial for making decisions in a relationship.
[55:04] - I argue that men should be proactive in understanding their reproductive health, considering their fertility challenges.
[58:27] - It's important for women to find the right balance between giving and receiving appreciation.
[1:00:24] - I point out how women setting the tone involves embodying a calm energy, providing valuable information about a man's nature.
[1:03:15] - Jeremiah argues that righteous rejection involves acknowledging current limitations, maintaining integrity, and prioritizing personal growth before commitment.
[1:05:28] - Women's power lies in setting clear and consistent standards; maintaining consistency and reasonableness is so important.
[1:07:39] - Jeremiah asserts that consistency earns respect and honest communication about readiness fosters understanding in relationships.
[1:10:22] - Jeremiah argues for women to remain true to their authentic selves, as feminine power can skillfully de-escalate situations without confrontation.
[1:15:57] - Jeremiah adds that using feminine power to connect with a man's admired qualities showcases the ability to influence subtly.
[1:17:26] - Shifting a man's energy involves triggering protective instincts, emphasizing feminine influence for a balanced response.
[1:20:25] - Jeremiah states that a man can hold the office of leader outside of his money.
[1:23:39] - Jeremiah adds that part of evaluating someone starts with their ability to generate money, revealing work ethic and willingness to take initiative.
[1:24:45] - I point out that a man's sense of leadership extends beyond financial success; it influences the well-being of women connected to him.
[1:27:06] - Order and structure, child orientation, and vision are important aspects of a man's contribution to a family.
[1:29:02] - I argue that humility plays a crucial role in a man's approach and readiness for a committed relationship or marriage.
[1:31:20] - Jeremiah declares that in complementary partnerships, shared vision and humility are vital.
[1:34:29] - Jeremiah talks about assessing humility, arguing that it involves observing reactions to new ideas.
[1:37:34] - Evaluating, Jeremiah adds, is, in fact, essential because a leader's ability to recognize limits and seek help prevents difficult situations.
[1:40:11] - Jeremiah refers to a celebrity couple interview that reveals the importance of support and influence in relationships.
[1:43:41] - Men develop physical resilience through sparring, while women hone emotional resilience, which fosters mutual care.
[1:46:45] - Jeremiah reminds us that emotional vulnerability can become a weapon during arguments.
[1:49:07] - Listen as Jeremiah contends that a single instance of emotional misuse can have lasting impacts, urging understanding of men's vulnerability.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Pop-Up 13: Dating is Emotional

Fri, 08 Mar 2024 05:03:00 +0000

Welcome to our first Secret Story! We’re listening into a heartfelt story that a listener shared with me about navigating a challenging moment in her relationship. Today’s episode unfolds with an instructional lesson on relationship skills and tools, touching on the importance of emotional regulation and effective communication.

Join me as I teach the difference between skills and tools but discuss how they work hand-in-hand. This listener's journey showcases some benefits to being properly skilled and equipped for romantic, healthy relationships. As we explore the connection between emotional maturity and building a strong foundation, you'll learn some gems to create lasting intimacy. I also quote my homeboy, Dana, to add male perspective.

As always, my role is to provide educational support and guidance, not clinical or mental health advice. If you'd like to keep the podcast in production, consider making a donation. Thank you!

Time Stamps:

[0:49] - I pay respects to Dr. Anna J. Cooper in honor of Women’s History Month.
[4:02] - I'm sharing a Secret Story from a listener about her relationship.
[4:59] - Today’s story covers a listener’s use of nonviolent communication and emotional regulation.
[7:14] - I share my excitement about stories empowering Black women in relationships.
[8:42] - I explain the difference between a skill and a tool.
[11:34] - The listener shares how her guy values open communication, praising her work.
[14:16] - Dana shares his male perspective: For lasting connections, build on a solid, strong emotional foundation.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature Mentioned:

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD

21: Her Inevitable Divorce

Fri, 23 Feb 2024 05:03:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our seventh and final experience. I welcome Taccarra Davenport who shares her marriage-to-divorce story while delving into the complexities of relationships, societal pressures, and the impact of religious teachings.

Taccarra also opens up about her personal struggles, detailing moments of challenge and the emotional toll of unhealthy relationships. We discuss vulnerability, communication, and understanding each other's needs, and as we unfold her journey, Taccarra's realization of relationship patterns and her decision to file for divorce becomes a poignant moment. Separation. Tune in for an episode filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and the shared journey towards healthier relationships.

Time Stamps:

[2:23] - My guest Taccarra and I discuss divorce and its aftermath.
[5:06] - I respect Taccarra’s balance between openness and discretion.
[7:29] - Taccarra helps professional women redefine success and discover authentic identities.
[9:50] - Taccarra's shares about meeting her ex-husband to divorce with lessons learned.
[12:38] - Taccarra recounts the beginning of her relationship, starting in the military in Korea.
[15:23] - Taccarra's transition to a LD relationship after moving to Maryland for nursing school.
[17:56] - Taccarra discusses the logistical challenges of her relationship.
[19:51] - Although Taccarra underwent pre-marital counseling, the identified areas for improvement ultimately led to divorce.
[20:49] - I discuss the Church's role in addressing challenges faced by couples and the need for comprehensive ongoing support.
[24:39] - Taccarra reflects on the Church's role in her premarital counseling, noting the need for more nuanced guidance.
[27:18] - Taccarra still feels that she overlooked crucial flags before marriage.
[29:03] - Taccarra shares her mother's guidance on relationships during her college years.
[31:22] - Taccarra reveals her lack of exposure to relationships, stemming from her parents' separation and a focus on education.
[33:29] - The timing of advice, depending on the context and setting, is very important.
[36:13] - I delve into the psychological aspects of religious messaging.
[38:05] - Taccarra discusses the challenges in adjusting to married life.
[40:17] - We explore the profound impact of words and their weight in marriage.
[43:56] - Taccarra reflects on the unintended impact of her words, realizing the significance of making her husband feel needed.
[46:14] - Hear Taccarra expand upon her definition of need, emphasizing the significance of community.
[48:04] - Hear about how their marriage initially improved in Germany.
[50:59] - Despite a positive period, old patterns resurfaced.
[52:35] - I stress the importance of journaling for reflection.
[54:57] - Taccarra speaks on researching family history to consciously break harmful patterns.
[56:19] - Taccarra details how, recognizing the persistent patterns, she opted against enduring more, leading to a divorce decision.
[58:46] - We discuss how being stuck in the marital home during the divorce process brought emotional challenges and trauma.
[1:01:18] - Navigating through the divorce process, changing names, and dealing with inquiries became overwhelming emotionally for Taccarra.
[1:03:17] - I describe how I faced the emotional task of sorting through years of pictures.
[1:05:04] - Taccarra discusses marriage photos, facing pandemic-induced loneliness and emotional challenges.
[1:07:55] - Taccarra expresses enthusiastic gratitude for therapists and dating coaches.
[1:10:45] - Taccarra identifies inconsistencies as having been the biggest red flag.
[1:12:17] - Despite red flags, Taccarra continued, drawn by her husband's potential.
[1:15:40] - Charismatic nature made Taccarra overlook red flags, relying on assumptions.
[1:21:43] - Taccarra draws connections limited interaction with her father and he need for consistent male guidance and affirmation.
[1:24:49] - Taccarra argues that being part of a community imparts wisdom, enabling one to learn from others' experiences.
[1:27:04] - Taccarra has learned that her purpose is to create community and mentor women.
[1:29:40] - The Church lacked teachings on dating for fun, leaving a gap between being single and marriage.
[1:32:24] - Marriage shouldn't lack fun, and the journey to true happiness shouldn't take years!
[1:33:14] - Taccarra enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Connect with Taccarra:

Literature & Links Mentioned

Her Inevitable Divorce Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
13: I Feel My Power

Special 07: Her Hot Date

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 05:03:00 +0000

Happy Valentine’s Day, Lovebugs! Let’s embrace our Lover-Girl Archetypes with some romantic first-date GONE RIGHT energy. Who else to bring us these vibes but one of my favorite lover-girl clients, Laurie. Then, I activate my Sage Archetype to share practicality, strategy, and guidance. This date isn't just about the lovey-dovey stuff, though. It involves repair and redemption–a pair of relationship skills necessary for strong connections and healthy relationships. We'll also explore a pre-date ritual, emphasizing mutual effort in the dating process.

I share relationship insight about not jumping to conclusions, listening to your intuition, and giving a man a fair chance. We dissect the details, stressing the importance of holding a man to his word and practicing empathy and understanding. It's not just about grand gestures; it's about setting the stage for a meaningful and responsible connection. Stay tuned for insights into building smarter, safer, and happier romantic connections with Laurie and her date, Mr. Banana.

If you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[1:02] - Laurie will be recounting a dreamy date with a twist: a story of repair and redemption.
[5:03] - I set the stage for Laurie's romantic date, repair work, and pre-date energy.
[8:32] - I share some important housekeeping notes before diving into Laurie's story.
[10:12] - Laurie details her date, revealing a change in plans, romantic gestures, and meaningful conversation.
[14:44] - Mr. Banana's date involves a gentle approach, exploring faith, family dynamics, and romantic energy.
[18:03] - I intervene, advising Laurie not to settle but to balance romance while ensuring a meaningful connection.
[19:42] - Laurie explains why she gave Mr. Banana a chance, expressing openness and acknowledging personal growth.
[21:56] - I offer guidance in negotiating and setting terms.
[24:47] - Questions are raised about Mr. Banana's change in plans and delivering on commitments.
[26:55] - Noting the importance of giving chances, I explore the need for answers and fair evaluations.
[29:31] - I acknowledge past experiences, encouraging fair judgment and giving each man a chance to prove himself.
[31:47] - I advise Laurie to listen to her intuition and check assumptions, and I offer guidance on the redemption process.
[35:09] - Teaching pre-date rituals, I teach intentional conversations, negotiations, and agreements.
[38:31] - I close on the power of repair, getting what you want, and maintaining feminine wisdom.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

20: Their New Marriage

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 05:03:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our sixth experience. I welcome Shaunice, whom you may remember from season 2, back to the show today! This time, she is joined by her husband Rashad to share an update on their married life and insights into Muslim marriage. Shaunice and I kickoff the episode with her journey of learning and applying vulnerability and femininity skills in her relationship, which has now evolved into a marriage with Rashad.

We also discuss the value of proactive efforts in marriage and prevention over intervention. Shaunice shares the significance of speaking to a partner with respect and inspiration rather than defeating or insulting behavior. The conversation underscores the role of women and wives in inspiring their partners and the positive outcomes that arise when approaching relationships with an understanding of each other's needs. Then, Rashad joins us to offer a male perspective on marriage and his experience in witnessing Shaunice undergo relationship and marriage coaching.

Time Stamps:

[3:07] - Shaunice returns!
[6:16] - This episode includes the male perspective on relationships and marriage.
[9:00] - I highlight the power of taking a pause and leaning into femininity when communicating.
[11:35] - Shaunice shares her favorite story involving navigating tense situations.
[13:08] - I cover expressing needs and desires to a caring partner without penalizing them.
[15:07] - I praise women's power to positively influence and maintain intimacy.
[17:52] - Trust in the dynamic of masculine and feminine energies in relationships is important.
[19:42] - Marriage assumes adopting certain ideals, traditions, customs, and family dynamics.
[21:37] - Shaunice shares how being accepted as a daughter-in-law mattered so much to her.
[22:38] - I relate to Shaunice with a story about my dmother-in-love.
[24:28] - How does Shaunice feel about being a wife?
[26:27] - Learn how Shaunice is actively shaping her marriage.
[29:51] - Shaunice highlights the distinct aspects of living as Muslims, embracing roles and mutual support in marriage.
[31:04] - I express appreciation for Shaunice's faith.
[34:06] - Shaunice shares her parenting approach and how she addressed her daughters' concerns amid life changes.
[36:54] - Shaunice enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me.
[38:28] - I introduce Rashad to the show.
[39:54] - Rashad identifies open-mindedness, kindness, and love for Black people as important traits in a wife.
[40:10] - I interject with the first lesson: How cultural pride can foster genuine connection.
[41:19] - How did Shaunice measure up to what Rashad wants in a wife?
[42:06] - I interject with the second lesson: How important listening is inside romantic relationships.
[44:41] - Rashad discusses his initial concerns and how to navigate friction.
[47:29] - I interject with the third lesson: How attitude and energy is received by a man.
[51:23] - I reflect on my impressions of Rashad when I first met him, and he, too, describes his initial impressions of me.
[53:07] - I interject with the fourth lesson: How men respond to support in relationships.
[56:27] - Learn about the structured partnership in Muslim marriage.
[1:00:32] - Rashad acknowledges the positive shifts in his wife's demeanor and emotional processing through her relationship and marriage coaching.
[1:02:33] - I interject with the fifth lesson: The value of softness and femininity independent of external influences.
[1:07:28] - How is married life for Rashad?
[1:08:53] - I appreciate the significance of starting a marriage on a solid foundation.
[1:11:22] - Rashad humorously reflects on the consummation act, relating to Islamic principles.
[1:14:36] - Rashad joins the Brother-Sister Circle with me.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

Their New Marriage Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

19: Her Healing Journey

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 05:08:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our fifth experience. I am joined by Laurie. a current Match Marry Mate™ client, who is sharing her healing journey with us today. We have a sweet and tender conversation about healing and growth, unveiling stories of self-discovery, family dynamics, and the intricacies of dating.

Laurie shares about growing up in a Kenyan household and draws comparisons between gender norms in Kenya and America, her painful realization of being labeled the "pump and dump" girl, and her inspiring path of embracing femininity and healing her relationship with her mother.

Laurie’s authenticity is a beacon, and as the conversation reaches its emotional peak, stay tuned because she and I share a genuine, heartfelt moment. In our Sacred Sistah Circle, Laurie's voice takes a sober tone, so put your extra listening ears on for a moving conclusion.

Time Stamps:

[3:04] - I am with the one and only Laurie!
[5:41] - Laurie shares how she discovered me through a mutual friend.
[7:21] - Laurie reveals what prompted her to join Match Marry Mate™.
[9:20] - Hear Laurie discuss her Kenyan upbringing.
[12:30] - Laurie describes the male-driven dating culture where women assume passivity.
[16:33] - Laurie notes the difference in social interactions between Kenya and the U.S.
[19:59] - Laurie reflects on some of her dating challenges.
[21:12] - Laurie discusses her experiences with dating Black men and her realization about being the "pump and dump" girl.
[24:01] - I helped Laurie redefine her role as an emotional hospital, prompting self-reflection through a movie assignment.
[25:32] - Laurie reflects on investing emotional currency in a man for over two years, realizing the need for boundaries.
[28:55] - Laurie reflects on a relationship she calls sad and comical, involving minimal dates and unequal emotional investment.
[31:07] - Laurie likens a troubled relationship to a non-healing wound, caused by constant aggravation and avoidance.
[34:01] - Laurie acknowledges a strained relationship with her mom, opting for coping mechanisms instead of healing.
[35:55] - I explain an exercise in ranking universal desires, highlighting the importance of addressing family issues.
[38:51] - Laurie reflects on her mother's challenges, understanding her pain.
[41:02] - Hear about Laurie's journey of mending the strained relationship with her mom.
[45:41] - I point out the importance of connecting with one's maternal lineage for a fulfilling womanhood experience.
[48:04] - I commend Laurie's remarkable transformation in nine months.
[50:45] - Laurie shares her balance masculine and feminine energies, recognizing learned and inherent qualities.
[52:55] - Laurie embraces her feminine wisdom, intuition, and visualization.
[54:10] - I emphasize the importance of wisdom in knowing when to embrace masculine and feminine energies.
[56:59] - Laurie finds clarity and reconciliation in the feminine and masculine archetypes, embracing her lovergirl and huntress.
[59:19] - Laurie enters the Sacred Sisterhood Circle with me.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

Her Healing Journey Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
Female Archetypes

18: Her Relationship Gems

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 05:08:00 +0000

Welcome to another episode of season 3, lovebirds! I have a great conversation in store for you today, as I am joined by Timka, a current Match Marry Mate™ client, and we are engaging in a conversation centered around the transformative power that extends beyond her dating experiences, although she will be sharing the details of that aspect today. Over the past year, I've witnessed Timka undergo a profound shift in her mindset, dedication to personal growth, self-reflection, reshaping of her social circles, and the establishment of deep connections and intimacy with a male companion.

From honing personal, communication, and relationship skills, she has embraced a holistic transformation, evolving into the woman she is today. Timka candidly discusses her dating journey, the valuable lessons she learned, and how she gracefully bid farewell to the "Mr. Nice Guy" archetype (in a positive way). You'll hear her narrate her journey of breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies and acquiring the ability to engage in assertive conversations. Timka also shares real-life instances, offering a play-by-play of her interactions and communication with the last man she dated.

Our conversation delves into topics such as emotional regulation, the dynamics of masculine and feminine partnerships, navigating relationships with men in various stages of development, and the art of righteous rejection. Join us for an insightful exploration into the world of personal growth and dating transformation with Timka, and don't forget - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[2:51] - I am joined today by Timka, a client whose transformative journey is inspiring!
[6:51] - Timka shares pivotal moments that sparked self-realization.
[9:48] - Hear Timka detail entering the dating scene, facing challenges, and reflecting on lessons learned.
[11:34] - Timka details her dating experience that led to her discovering self-worth.
[14:42] - Timka embraced being single, later seeking guidance from me for transformative dating experiences.
[17:17] - I commend Timka for her accountability for past mistakes in relationships and value her resilience.
[19:09] - Timka acknowledges the challenge of being comfortable that not everyone will like her.
[21:03] - Timka tells the importance of recognizing misalignments and asking important questions when dating.
[23:28] - I agree, focusing on effective communication, particularly listening.
[26:22] - Timka likens herself to a butterfly, as she has matured and grown in her dating journey.
[28:51] - I highlight women's emotional intelligence as a superpower but warn immediate reactions.
[31:19] - Don't let your superpower be your kryptonite!
[32:59] - Timka shares explains importance of giving men space to process emotions without taking it personally.
[35:39] - Timka asserts her boundaries, navigates confrontations with grace, and discovers the power of her femininity.
[38:11] - Timka describes a mature and open relationship with communication, understanding, and the potential for a future connection.
[39:41] - Femininity requires a lot of energy!
[41:45] - I applaud Timka for understanding men as humans, balancing energies, and fostering connection and intimacy in relationships.
[44:38] - Hear Timka give a specific example of how she demonstrates self-love by showing up for herself.
[48:38] - Learn why Timka values silence for personal processing.
[50:00] - I highlight Timka's skill in resolving conflicts.
[53:05] - Timka shares an incident where she handled disagreement maturely.
[55:34] - Patience and understanding in gaining intimacy is powerful, as is navigating male nature.
[57:47] - I teach on a man's capacity to receive feminine energy and how to position oneself wisely in a relationship.
[59:19] - I discuss the importance of defining and upholding personal standards and femininity, independent of a man's role.
[1:01:14] - Timka appreciates her friend for having recognized that he had self-discovery and growth to do.
[1:04:03] - I agree, applauding him for his honesty in recognizing his development needs and valuing Timka's space and time.
[1:07:05] - Timka joins me in the Sacred Sisterhood Circle.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Links & Literature Mentioned:

17: Her Dating Dry Spell

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 05:08:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our third experience. I am back in the studio to interview Kaity Rodriguez with an update on her 100 Dates in Houston Blog Series. We discuss Dates 7-10 from her blog and her unexpected dating dry spell that brought a range of emotions that Kaity is ready to share.

We walk through her dating experience with Mr. Hairline and zoom in on a beautiful exchange around the topic of women being valued for their individuality and not just their potential motherhood. We touch on Kaity's memorable "Waiting to Exhale" moment and the balance between holding onto a dead situation and bailing out too quickly.

Join us as we explore Kaity's challenge of discerning genuine interest from a desire to fill a slot. We reflect, we laugh, and uncover the nuanced dynamics that define modern dating, with shared struggles, empowering moments, and insightful lessons!

Time Stamps:

[4:03] - Kaity joins me today, sharing updates on her 100 Dates in Houston.
[10:12] - I discuss the support prompt from date number seven.
[12:20] - I explore the intersection of womanhood and gender roles.
[14:19] - Kaity explains how she took initiative and broke tradition.
[17:16] - Kaity challenges traditional passivity in dating.
[20:55] - It's important for women marrying later to be valued beyond just potential motherhood.
[23:43] - Kaity finds relief in communication.
[26:34] - Kaity reflects on her date having admitted to seeing other women.
[27:53] - How does one navigate the balance between avoiding wasted time and giving someone a chance?
[30:16] - Balancing conflicting feelings, Kaity finds solace in patiently observing and avoiding hasty judgments and decisions.
[32:23] - I reflect on “He's Just Not That Into You,” contrasting hope and disappointment.
[34:24] - Kaity resists old habits, embracing discomfort, and adopts a "wait and see" approach.
[36:40] - In the context of women's empowerment, I explore the impact of dating behaviors on others' feelings.
[39:48] - Kaity highlights the significance of timely communication for maintaining a meaningful connection.
[41:23] - I discuss managing expectations around response times and the role of open communication.
[43:56] - Hear an example involving missed with my husband, highlighting differing expectations on responsiveness.
[45:20] - Kaity emphasizes the importance of responsive communication, reflecting individual needs for connection.
[50:59] - Kaity notes the importance of maintaining excitement and depth in communication.
[53:20] - Kaity reflects on two emotional conversations, noting the challenge of balancing self-assertion and grace in mature communication.
[56:13] - Kaity's journey hits a milestone in her empowerment and self-commitment.
[1:02:39] - Kaity faced disappointment when attempts to deepen the connection fell flat.
[1:05:34] - Kaity had to reassess the connection's viability due to frequent dissatisfaction with communication efforts.
[1:07:05] - Kaity navigates confusion in Mr. Hairline's attachment style, identifying it as a fearful-avoidant pattern.
[1:09:37] - Kaity values consistency in text responsiveness, acknowledging her needs without deeming them needy.
[1:11:11] - Seasons come and go, and Kaity is embracing the end of a dating season.
[1:14:45] - Female listeners are advised to view relationship challenges as passing moments.
[1:16:07] - I close by emphasizing navigating challenges together, avoiding person-centered blame, and highlighting conflict resolution's role in building intimacy.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

Her Dating Dry Spell Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

16: My Black Marriage Research

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 05:08:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our second experience. Come with me as I share the first part of my latest research project – an exploration focused on education, economics, and marriageability of Black boys and men. While the podcast primarily caters to Black women, the research holds greater significance for the entire Black community, and I explore the debt America owes Black Americans.

The discussion navigates the complexities of understanding and improving conditions for Black men and boys as I call attention to the debts they have inherited and how it has impacted Black Love and the Black Family. I also unravel historic evidence, spotlight improvements, and ambitiously work towards a self-sufficient future for Black communities.

Correction: The author is not Tracey Chapman, but Audrey B. Chapman.

Time Stamps:

[4:04] - Gain some insights on academic research.
[6:18] - America should dissolve its oppressive barriers against Black boys and men.
[9:24] - I advocate for accessible research for all.
[12:43] - Much research needs to be adapted for Black people.
[15:11] - I desire for my research communication to be comprehensible for all.
[18:26] - My line of research studies how education and economics impact the marital status of Black men.
[20:14] - My research especially targets debts in education, economics, and marriage for Black boys and men.
[23:47] - I use models and address the lasting effects of racism.
[26:24] - I connect financial language, diverse models, and cultural insights.
[28:09] - I explain how my research also examines the educational, economic, and marital debts owed to Black men to improve their societal standing.
[30:30] - I directly address Black mothers, urging them to raise their sons to contribute meaningfully to society.
[32:28] - Black fathers, your sons need you!
[34:12] - I move into the subject of debt owed to Black boys.
[37:11] - I borrow the word “rift” to depict racial discord.
[40:15] - I call Black men to the front again.
[41:50] - I recommend a few helpful resources regarding this topic.
[44:37] - I address intergenerational cycles.
[48:02] - My research proposes a collective approach.
[51:44] - Marriage among less-educated Black Americans may face increased stress due to financial instability and strain.
[54:20] - Some progress connects to acknowledging men's need to earn, supporting families, before discussing marital structures.
[56:25] - Securing a high school diploma benefits Black men.
[1:02:34] - I encourage young Black women to seek guidance on education, careers, and relationships.
[1:05:02] - Educational injustices affect Black men, women, and children, ultimately shaping conflicting beliefs on marriage and masculinity.
[1:06:59] - I close by expressing appreciation for strong Black marriages, urging listeners to actively contribute to family and community healing.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

My Black Marriage Research Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}
His Dating Pivot Blog Post
Marriage As A Cultural Norm Podcast Episode
Of Boys & Men by Richard Reeves
Why I Love Black Women by Michael Eric Dyson
The Spirit of a Man by Iyanla Vanzant

15: His Dating Pivot

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 05:01:00 +0000

Today, I am joined by my good friend Dana, also known as, “The Voice.”

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our first experience. Together, we explore the intricacies of male-female interactions, delving into our previous dating history and the essential aspects of understanding, respecting, and connecting with others. We navigate themes like faith, values, culture, and the significance of personal growth in relationships.

We share insights that transcend the conventional dating narrative, focusing on managing expectations, minimizing unnecessary losses, and fostering genuine connections.

We address the importance of viewing each other as individuals, not commodities, and reflect on the impact of gendered tensions within the Black community. Dana and I share personal experiences, discuss the essence of genuine connections, and highlight the power of mutual support and upliftment.

Time Stamps:

[1:03] - Season 3 welcome!
[2:17] - Introducing Dana!
[4:14] - Dana and I discuss DC dating, exploring faith, values, and personal growth.
[8:16] - Dana shares insights on evolving beyond physical attraction in dating.
[9:46] - Dana stresses the importance of emotional support, respect, and communication in relationships for Black men.
[11:36] - Dana recounts his experiences with women of differing communication styles.
[13:41] - I emphasize the importance of understanding women's emotions rather than perceiving them as challenges.
[16:23] - We fostered a unique friendship, choosing a platonic path over romance and bonding through shared interests and mutual appreciation.
[18:50] - As a Southern Belle, I banter with Dana, exploring regional charms, comparing Southern warmth with Northern virtues.
[23:01] - I promote genuine connections among Black people.
[26:11] - We prioritize seeing each other as individuals and fostering respectful, meaningful interactions.
[27:00] - Dana emphasizes the need for men to avoid objectification, treat women as individuals, and cultivate genuine, patient connections.
[29:20] - My research suggests teaching Black men and women to see each other as individuals, beyond gendered perspectives.
[31:43] - Connections can defy expectations.
[35:19] - Reflecting on his dating history, Dana shifted from superficial focus to authenticity, prioritizing mental health support for significant personal growth.
[37:47] - Diverse dating fosters personal evolution; with Dana, genuine intimacy, care, and support led to my successful spoken word debut in D.C.
[41:20] - Dana reflects on moments of frustration in his career, recalling my encouragement to pursue his goals.
[43:24] - Empowering others is my joy, and supporting Dana was about organic community love.
[49:05] - I emphasize the harmonious cycle of mutual support and upliftment between a man and a woman.
[51:49] - I encouraged Dana to do something with his voice, and this year, he did.
[55:40] - Dana enters the Brotha-Sistah Circle with me and answers a round of rapid-fire questions.

Connect with Me:

Subscribe to Match Marry Mate™ Newsletter
Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

His Dating Pivot Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

Special 06: 2023 “Black Love” Wrapped

Sat, 30 Dec 2023 04:59:00 +0000

Today, I am in the co-host seat with our resident blogger and therapist, Kaity Rodriguez to wrap 2023! We journey through 10 unforgettable moments in Black Love Culture ranging from dating, relationships, marriage, and family.

Tune in to hear our professional and personal insights, playful disagreements, and opinionated takes as we judge each story as “messy” or “magical” for the Black Community. We also have a bit of fun giving our educated guesses on each woman’s feminine archetype that we cover in this episode. Join us!

Time Stamps:

[0:48] - Join Joyice and Kaity delving into unforgettable moments in Black culture this year!

[4:14] - Our first story opens with Rihanna’s Super Bowl surprise.

[6:06] - As a fan, Kaity shares her thoughts on Rihanna’s pregnancy announcement.[

9:40] - Joyice and Kaity weigh in on Rihanna as an unmarried mother of two.

[11:25] - Kaity contrasts Rihanna’s reality with broader frustrations faced by many Black women.

[14:30] - Joyice and Kaity address “dating the bus driver” with our two cents for Eboni K.

[17:09] - Joyice acknowledges socioeconomic compatibility but critiques classism and elitism.

[18:57] - Joyice defends the pursuit of financial stability without negative portrayals.

[22:01] - Joyice asks listeners questions about distinctions between earning power and class.

[25:12] - Kaity speculates that Eboni's feminine archetype.

[27:45] - Joyice discussing “dating down,” contrasting Rihanna as a positively-viewed relationship and Keke's as a cautionary tale.

[30:03] - Kaity highlights the importance of a united public front in romantic relationships.

[33:35] - We agree that the way Keke is handling the social media drama is magical, and we speculate KeKe’s feminine archetype.

[34:26] - Ciara and Russell Wilson's heartwarming baby announcement inspires Kaity to maintain hope for her own love story.

[36:34] - Joyice cheers on Ciara for being a Feminine Yet Firm (FYF) Woman.

[38:26] - Kaity speculates KeKe’s feminine archetype.

[42:30] - Kaity argues that consistency in messaging is crucial.

[43:30] - Women should prioritize listening to other women for relationship advice.

[45:25] - Joyice points out that addressing men directly for actionable steps could yield positive change, as seen with Dr. Umar Johnson.

[47:11] - The Perry incident motivated Kaity to tune out social media noise and write this post.

[50:59] - Kaity appreciates Tyler Perry's insights on creativity but agrees that he isn't qualified to give women relationship advice.

[52:06] - Eboni K makes a second appearance on our list with Mrs. Degrees.

[55:14] - Eboni's college relationship advice overlooks the cultural mismatch and unique experiences within the Black community.

[58:36] - Eboni's advice also lacks practical tools for young women trying to find a husband in college.

[1:02:04] - Joyice celebrates Kerry Washington's decade-long marriage and her memoir, and they speculate Kerry’s feminine archetype.

[1:07:25] - Kaity and Joyice cover the “No Matter What” Marriage and how wives can handle public comments.

[1:12:06] - Joyice states that Tupac's revisited story possibly impacted Will's image publicly.

[1:14:57] - We agree that Jada should not be vilified.

[1:17:07] - There was clear discomfort to how Will reacted to Jada's public comments.

[1:23:04] - Kaity & Joyice speculate Jada's feminine archetype.

[1:24:20] - Kaity & Joyice discuss “the story that they don’t care about, but know that y’all do.”

[1:29:14] - Closing on a high note, we cover our final story of the year!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Literature & Links Mentioned

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Minisode 03: 2023 “The List” Wrapped

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 12:35:04 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Do y’all remember “The List?” The viral list of 28 places to not take a woman on a first date? It made Joyice & Kaity’s 2023 Wrapped Honorable Mention!

From The Cheesecake Factory to bowling alleys, we judge each item as a matter of safety, productivity, or preference. Plus, we spill some tea on our unconventional strategies for first dates! Stick around as we share our hopes and dreams for 2024.

Tune in for the laughs, the real talk, and some dating wisdom.

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle. If you’re looking for a resource to help kickoff the year, you’ll love the 2024 Intentions & Reflections Bundle.

Connect with Me:

Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠
Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠
Become a Patron: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate⁠
Book a Call: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/⁠

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Special 05: Marriage As A Cultural Norm

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 12:33:51 +0000

“Marriage may need a reboot for a modern world, and I would say it needs a reboot for the Black American community, too." - Joyice Intro:

Let’s explore how the resurgence of marriage as a cultural norm has shaped my thinking lately!

Join me as I discuss four transformative events that collided to give rise to examining marriage through this lens. Through my recent research project on Black marriage, revisiting the book The Making of Biblical Womanhood, scripting our marriage preparation mini-series, and conversations from my recent Caribbean travels, I've gained new insights on this topic that I want to share with you. This special episode also features a segment where I answer three questions from listeners regarding marriage structures, male leadership, and the relationship domains discussed in previous episodes. Please join me, and remember - if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Time Stamps: [2:25] - Exploring marriage as a cultural norm has become a focal point for me lately.

[4:07] - I emphasize education and community support for lasting impact in healing relationships between Black men and women.

[6:52] - The first event was my latest research project.

[8:33] - I emphasize marriage's value in the Black community.

[10:22] - Single fathers are often overlooked, but I see you!

[13:44] - The second event was my re-read of The Making of Biblical Womanhood.

[14:39] - I challenge traditional Western and Christian patriarchy in marriage.

[17:01] - Dr. Barr's position on male headship and leadership.

[20:04] - I question male hierarchy.

[22:36] - I ponder an undeniable order in parenting without rigid gender roles.

[25:08] - The third event was the feedback on this very mini-series!

[27:34] - I refer to “the rift” between Black women and men.

[30:42] - The mismatched messaging within the Black community.

[33:42] -Boys and girls should receive complementary messages about values and traditions they are expected to carry into adulthood.

[35:33] - I mention Kerry Washington's position on naming and identity as an example of women responding positively to a patriarchal tradition.

[38:45] - Men's desire for women's companionship without commitment prompts me to contemplate societal shifts and perspectives.

[40:59] - I answer a listener’s question regarding three marital structures.

[42:34] - I urge Black women to discern between Western/Christian and Pastoral Patriarchy in relationships.

[44:58] - I answer a listener’s questions about leadership within marital structures, specifically in the Black Christian community.

[48:12] - In considering submission, I explore a man's responsibility to uphold quality in his household.

[49:26] - I answer a listener’s questions about using the term “relationship domains.”

[50:33] - I conclude with an excerpt from a book titled Marriage in Black. Connect with Me: Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Instagram: @matchmarrymate Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ Links & Literature Mentioned: Marriage as a Cultural Norm Blog Post {+ Episode Guide} Marital Submission Blog Post {+ Episode Guide} The Making of Biblical Womanhood by Beth Allison Barr Thicker Than Water by Kerry Washington Marriage in Black by Katrina Bell McDonald & Caitlin Cross-Barnet

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Special 04: Biblical Marriages

Thu, 14 Dec 2023 13:16:39 +0000

Hiya, Lovebugs! Today, I am discussing the eight types of marriages outlined in the Hebrew Bible. Discussing Biblical marriages, especially for Black women, can be touchy, so I sprinkled some clapbacks + humor to lighten the mood! I also don't mind calling out men, patriarchy, or misogyny. While approaching tough topics, I intend to make you as comfortable (but also as responsible) as I can! Join me as we navigate the marital and familial culture of the Ancient Near East, zooming in on Ancient Israelite society. This episode is designed to broaden your outlook on marriage, so let's delve into a little Biblical wisdom and challenge some norms. FYI—we have one more episode left in this mini-series, also remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Trigger Warning: I MENTION the R-word, and that's all I do. Please, proceed with caution. I aim to educate, not traumatize, so if you trust me to deliver sensitive topics well, let's go! Time Stamps: [0:26] - I add a surprising twist with humor to engage and enlighten. [1:51] - I introduce you to today’s show. [4:42] - I suggest being open-minded about any anti-Black or anti-women views you hold about the Bible. [6:38] - How do you define marriage? [8:39] - I discuss the nuclear (traditional) family. [10:11] - I contrast Ancient Israel with modern America in Genesis 2:24. [12:35] - Discussing Deuteronomy 22:13-19, I highlight the legal and social consequences for accusations of sexual deceit and harm in marriage. [17:24] - I challenge the logic of laws emphasizing female virginity. [20:24] - I challenge men to protect their women sexually, appreciating Minister Farrakhan's defense of women with his daughter. [23:01] - Men labeling women as “hoes” can overlook their role, sharing how men may shape women's images and realities. [25:06] - Responsibility for pregnancy is not one-sided; both contribute. [27:48] - Men asserting a “God-given” right to multiple wives ignore Biblical instances. [30:56] - In ancient Israel, bondservants served willingly for six years, with the option for voluntary commitment. [32:49] - Abraham & Sarah (plus Hagar's) marriage may raise questions about consent. [34:43] - I share a sample list of men cited as having concubines, reflecting cultural practices without explicit Biblical endorsement or condemnation. [36:20] - Levirate marriage involves a widowed woman marrying her deceased husband's brother to preserve lineage. [39:04] - Male bondservants could be given wives by their masters, with the servant's choice to stay or leave after service. [40:15] - The seventh type of biblical marriage involves male soldiers marrying female prisoners of war after a military victory. [41:28] - A man and a virgin caught in the act, leading to marriage, seems like the most scandalous of the kind.

Connect with Me: Website Instagram Become a Patron Book a Call

Links & Resources Mentioned in this Episode: Biblical Marriages Blog Post Special 02: Churchy Wedding Vows Special 03: Marital Submission

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Season 3: Experiences [prologue]

Sun, 10 Dec 2023 05:08:00 +0000

WELCOME TO SEASON 3, titled "EXPERIENCES!"

What do we do as we close our healing journeys? Many argue that healing is never complete and agree-ish, but we do arrive at a place where we can choose something to mark the end or even a new beginning. I’ve had several points of closure and ending a particular healing season in my greater journey of becoming my new woman, as I'm sure you have too!

To welcome the new year, Season 3 teaches us to move on and press forward. To not be afraid to re-position, rebrand, retell, and reinvent. The body keeps score, and we feel it in our various energy centers, though this season, we’ll focus on the solar plexus—the part of the body that governs our ability to be confident, assertive, and make decisions from a place of inner wisdom. I have curated seven stories on the dating, relationships, and marriage trajectory to support you in these areas. Our guest share their stories, pains, lessons, and new ways of being. They cover major romantic experiences that offered them just enough tension/discomfort to self-evolve and become new. ... "As you go through experiences, you just learn to see the things that really matter to you, versus the things that can come and go." ~ Dana ..."And it will be a disservice to both of us, if I'm not showing up for him how I need him to show up for me." ~Timka "I have definitely noticed a shift in my wife's demeanor, and how she processed emotions, how she dealt with potential triggers seemed to shift into a more introspective, accountable way." ~Rashad

Season 3 Schedule:

15: His Dating Pivot, an interview with Dana on Jan 05
16: My Black Marriage Research, a solo-sode with Joyice on Jan 12
17: Her Dating Dry Spell, an interview with Kaity on Jan 19
18: Her Relationship Gems, an interview with Timka on Jan 26
19: Her Healing Journey, an interview with Laurie on Feb 02
20: Their New Marriage, an interview with the Greens on Feb 09
21: Her Inevitable Divorce, an interview with Taccarra on Feb 16

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to ⁠drop your truth⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

Interested in being a guest? Send us an email at podcast@matchmarrymate.com!

Connect with Me:

Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠
Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠
Become a Patron: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate⁠
Book a Call: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/⁠

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Minisode 02: Setting Intentions 2024

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 10:53:10 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Before diving into this episode, I encourage you to listen first to Minisode 01: 2023 Wins & Lessons. In this follow-up episode, hear how you can reflect on your 2023 by evaluating our wins, highlighting our lessons, and identifying what we need to cut, continue, and create in the year ahead.

Be sure to watch out for my Clubhouse sessions on the 11th, 18th, and 29th, all about helping you navigate this jungle of love and self-understanding more intimately. Make sure you also grab the freebies because you don't want to miss these guides! Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[1:12] - We are following up on Minisode 01, reflecting on 2023.

[1:39] - I guide you through a pre-game exercise for setting intentions.

[3:18] - I encourage you to reflect on your wins and lessons for the year.[6:33] - Revisit your "cut, continue, create" list throughout Dec. and Jan.

[7:13] - I use past experiences to walk you through how to review your year and set intentions.

[8:50] - I reflect on my own personal wins e.g. {teaching my son to drive, starting grad school, and buying a dream home…}[

10:52] - I share some personal lessons learned about managing grad school workload and self-care.

[12:08] - First, reflect on your year by memorializing and celebrating.

[15:18] - When thinking about what I want to cut, I illustrate the importance of adaptability in the goal-setting process.

[18:25] - Continuous reflection on wins and lessons informs the process of setting new goals for the future.

[19:13] - I strongly discourage doing this in one sitting; this takes time.[22:26] - This process is about feminine energy, self-discovery, and trusting life's timing for growth.

[25:25] - A good friend says that your brain generates ideas but doesn't retain them, so writing them down is crucial!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Resources Mentioned:

Setting Intentions for 2024 Blog Post

2024 Moon, Mood, & Menstruation Calendar

January’s Reset Process Part I: Review and Release the Old Year

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Minisode 01: 2023 Wins & Lessons

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 05:08:00 +0000

“Before you are anything for anyone else or even before you can be anything to anyone else, you need to understand yourself and take care of yourself.” - Joyice

Intro:

Hey, Lovebugs! Allow me to guide you through a labyrinth of love and self-discovery! As we bid farewell to 2023, I invite you to join me in the art of reflection and intention-setting.

In today’s show, we embark on a journey of selfhood, exploring the interconnected threads of self-love, sisterhood, and the path to a thriving relationship or marriage.

Together, let's review the past year, celebrating wins and embracing the lessons that shaped us. From the glow moments of accomplishment to the tough, unexpected lessons, we weave a tapestry of self-awareness, and as we approach the new year, I share a transformative practice with my clients – an approach encompassing self, sisters + circles, and spouses. It's a process that transcends the conventional boundaries of dating and relationships, guiding women toward sustainable growth and self-actualization.

I hope you’ll join me in this sacred space of self-reflection, where we explore the importance of honoring our spiritual selves. This episode is a testament to the power of intentional living, sisterly accountability, and the freedom to be on your own terms. As we prepare to step into 2024, let us usher in the spirit of transformation as we grow and go!

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[0:50] - 2023 is almost over, so let’s reflect on the year!

[3:07] - I guide clients through year-end reflection, celebrating wins, learning from lessons, and setting intentions.

[5:24] - Hear how a client revealed a gap: being too consumed with work when not dating; we discussed intentions and action points to address and close this gap.

[7:17] - I guide women in a two-part year-end review, celebrating wins, learning lessons, and setting intentions.

[9:23] - I approached 2023 with a word, adage, and twelve intentions.

[11:36] - I reflect on how a devoted client, after two years of transformative work, exemplifies the necessity of selfhood for successful relationships.

[13:45] - Join my discounted group coaching cohort, fostering self-growth that impacts relationships, success, and love!

[16:36] - I encourage bodily movement and dance which helps promote thinking and reflecting.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Resources Mentioned:

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Special 03: Marital Submission

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 10:51:29 +0000

“I do think there's a contingent of Black men that think that Black women should recognize their 'authority' just on the account of them being a man. I think it’s woefully misguided, but it does exist in our community.” - Jeremiah

Welcome back, lovebugs! My husband and I are together again to explore balance between leadership and submission, untangling historical roots of resistance among Black women.

Examining the intersections of race, culture, and religion, we navigate through Biblical passages from the Old and New Testaments. We distinguish between different forms of marriage - patriarchal, partnership, and egalitarian - and shed light on their implications for gender relations within the Black community.

We also draw on real-life stories, Biblical narratives, and scholarly insights to challenge preconceptions about submission and to offer a nuanced perspective on the roles of husbands and wives. Be sure to download your Marital Submission episode guide, and tune in!

Be sure to stay tuned, as well, because we still have two more episodes left in this mini-series, and also remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[2:28] - We are talking about marital submission in today’s show.

[5:07] - What, actually, is the meaning of submission?

[7:57] - I explore power dynamics and three U.S. marriage forms, emphasizing patriarchal marriages and submission.

[9:28] - Patriarchal marriages can be divided into two types.

[11:57] - I advocate for marital equity over sameness.

[14:37] - Hear me examine the historical impact on black marriages and the influence of Western patriarchy.

[17:05] - I explore the influence of Western patriarchal Christian marriage and emphasize mutual submission.

[20:27] - Is there a historical link between Black male authority and expectations of female submission?

[21:31] - Jeremiah observes a misguided belief among some Black men linking authority solely to gender.

[24:46] - The expectations of sacrificial love as outlined in Ephesians 5.

[26:51] - Jeremiah highlights equal reciprocity and breaking down sacrificial love into observable actions.

[27:34] - We highlight the connection between a husband's love, self-love, and unity in marriage.

[30:10] - The male instinct of protection and provision draws from nature and society.

[32:35] - Jeremiah feels that men are driven by instinct to build and protect but could lose their creative drive due to external factors.

[35:52] - Men's instinct to build can be activated with societal influence shaping their priorities.

[38:07] - I share how a wife's fulfillment is connected to her encouraging her husband's submission to the Divine.

[44:28] - It's important to adhere to instructions, drawing from personal experience and Biblical verses to illustrate dynamics in commitments.

[48:02] - I note Scripture's emphasis on men in pastoral patriarchy and highlighting the Biblical oneness achieved through mutual submission.

[51:36] - Jeremiah highlights the instinct to build , emphasizing selflessness, and preparation.

[54:15] - Jeremiah adds the importance of a selfless mindset in building for longevity, emphasizing the impact on family, children, and assets.

[57:30] - Jeremiah emphasizes that a man's work and legacy should be selfless, inspiring those closest to him.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Resources & Books Mentioned:

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Special 02: Churchy Wedding Vows

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I share ways to approach your coming marital vows alongside my husband with insights on how to plan, prepare, and collaborate before you meet each other at the holy altar. From the Church of England to the Black Church, marriage vows, obedience, and submission, you better believe that we address the elephants in the room to prepare brides-to-be (and their grooms).

We challenge societal judgments and emphasize the importance of trust, understanding, and shared responsibility in domestic partnerships. Together, we unravel the layers of marital submission, exploring its historical roots and relevance within the Black American community.

Remember, your engagement and feedback are so important, so please feel free to share your thoughts and suggestions! Also, remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Links & Resources Mentioned:

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Pop-Up 12: A Male Fertility Story

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Greetings, Lovebugs! Today's episode delves deep into the often-overlooked realm of male fertility in the context of IVF. Join me and Jeremiah as we candidly share his journey, providing a rare glimpse into the emotional rollercoaster many men experience during fertility treatments.

From extensive research to navigating the IVF process together, Jeremiah opens up about his concerns, frustrations, and unexpected joys, and we also discuss societal expectations, the challenges Black men and women face, and the crucial role of a robust support system in this journey.

Plus, Jeremiah shares invaluable advice for men considering IVF and emphasizes the importance of being an active, informed, and empathetic partner. Tune in for an eye-opening conversation that challenges stereotypes and fosters understanding in the world of fertility!

Stay tuned for the next episode in which we tackle “Churchy Wedding Vows,” but until then, remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[2:01] - I am joined by Jeremiah today to discuss my IVF journey from the male perspective.
[3:11] - How did Jeremiah react to my episode about my IVF journey?
[4:12] Jeremiah emphasizes the importance of researching fertility options.
[7:00] Jeremiah's primary concern was the emotional and psychological toll of IVF on me.
[9:11] IVF brought unexpected emotional strain for Jeremiah due to information overload.
[11:20] Jeremiah shares how feeling unheard by medical professionals was especially frustrating.
[13:16] Administrative inefficiencies also added stress.
[16:14] Jeremiah managed IVF administrative challenges, ensuring that my medication process was smooth.
[18:20] Jeremiah reflects on how he felt disempowered due to systems limiting male involvement.
[21:42] Was there a round of IVF that stressed Jeremiah out more than the others?
[23:37] I found round three of IVF the most hopeful but was deeply defeated when it didn't succeed.
[25:52] Jeremiah reveals what he means by “existential peace of mind.”
[28:04] Jeremiah wanted to ensure that we preserved future parenting options, eliminating regrets about missed opportunities.
[30:51] Jeremiah's perspective motivated me, acknowledging the importance of peace of mind and mutual understanding.
[32:02] Jeremiah emphasizes that pursuing multiple IVF rounds was important to preserve our unique bond.
[33:55] Listen as I describe the internal struggle of pushing myself to undergo another round of IVF, acknowledging the sacrifice and fatigue.
[37:15] How did Jeremiah feel when we had our two babies?
[40:36] Jeremiah touches upon feeling a mix of blessings and burdens after the successful IVF round.
[43:01] Would Jeremiah do IVF again if needed?
[45:52] Jeremiah emphasizes the importance of having a strong support team in the challenging fertility journey.
[48:54] What tips does Jeremiah have to offer to other black men?
[52:04] Jeremiah advises being proactive, educated, and assertive in the fertility journey.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Links and Resources Mentioned:

The Match Marry Mate™ Show - Pop-Up #5:Joyice’s IVF Journey

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Pop-Up 11: Masculine Archetypes

Fri, 20 Oct 2023 14:02:05 +0000

Hi, Lovebugs! Today’s pop-up episode is about exploring masculine archetypes!

I invited my amazing husband, Jeremiah, to lend his male perspective. Together, we unravel the layers of the four archetypes: Lover, Warrior, Magician, and King.

We begin our discussion around the Lover, exploring the passionate and emotional side of men, but beware, not every lover is created equal; some can be addictive, while others may struggle to find joy.

Then, we dive into the Warrior, the embodiment of protection and defense. Jeremiah highlights the importance of training this archetype with care and humility, emphasizing its undervalued role in our communities.

Moving on to the Magician, we uncover the power of curiosity and knowledge. A fully evolved magician seeks wisdom, shares it with others, and embodies true humility.

Lastly, we explore the King, the apex of masculine maturity. Jeremiah and I delve into the balance between the resolute, decisive ruler and the potential pitfalls of tyranny and weakness.

Join us on this enlightening journey through the male psyche, understanding the complexities that shape the men in our lives.

NEXT: Stay tuned for our next episode on a male fertility story with Jeremiah. See you next time, and remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[0:31] - We are talking today about the masculine archetypes.
[2:49] - Manhood evolves through stages, connecting maturity to emotional growth, contrasting feminine mystery with mastery.
[4:53] - Jeremiah argues that observation, counsel, and hands-on experiences foster healthy manhood development in boys.
[7:13] - Mature manhood embraces responsibility, including mastering skills and utilizing logic for protection and decision-making.
[9:47] - Jeremiah adds that embracing feminine energy involves allowing expression, compassion, and empathy in decision-making and interactions.
[11:18] - I touch upon how Carl Jung's archetypes are universal symbols embodying balance in masculine energies.
[14:50] - The first archetype is the Lover, embodying youthful idealism, pleasure, and emotional connection in mature masculinity.
[17:46] - Jeremiah offers his perspective on the Lover archetype.
[20:15] - Jeremiah feels that men benefit from restraining the Lover archetype to avoid overindulgence and addiction pitfalls.
[21:39] - I explain the Warrior archetype, pointing out how a balanced warrior defends with responsibility, but imbalance leads to cruelty or passivity.
[24:48] - The warrior archetype, according to Jeremiah, is crucial yet undervalued and demands constant training for balanced defense.
[27:28] - The Magician archetype empowers men as co-creators, problem solvers, and insightful stewards of psyche.
[29:45] - Hear about the two sides of the Magician archetype.
[31:40] - Jeremiah likes the Magician archetype in part because it's the least understood.
[33:36] - The fourth and final archetype, the King, embodies wisdom, leadership, and balance, fostering order and purpose in life.
[35:09] - Hear all about the Highchair Tyrant side of the King archetype.
[37:33] - Men aspire to embody the King archetype, seeking clarity, leadership, and positive influence.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

Resources & Links Mentioned: #ad

The Match Marry Mate™ Show - Pop-Up 06: Feminine Archetypes

Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine

Rod Boothroyd - Warrior, Magician, Lover, King: A Guide To The Male Archetypes Updated For The 21st Century: A guide to men's archetypes, emotions, and the development of the mature masculine in the world today

Masculine Archetypes Quiz

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Pop-Up 10: Inner Girl

Fri, 13 Oct 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome back, Lovebugs!

Let’s enter the world of self-discovery and healing via your inner child or inner girl. Are you wondering, what is this inner girl I'm talking about? She's that part of you that's been there since day one, holding onto your memories, dreams, and even the pain from your childhood. Ready to navigate the journey of self-love, healing, and growth? Let’s go!

Listen as I share intimate letters from four different women (three from clients of mine and one from yours truly) who have embarked on their own inner girl healing journeys. From triumphs to tribulations, you hear the transformative power of self-reflection and self-love, including recognizing when your inner girl is taking the wheel in your adult life and how to gently keep her in her rightful place. This episode isn't just about the past; it's about understanding how childhood experiences shape our present behaviors and relationships.

Let's embrace the journey together and nurture the beautiful souls within us! Remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Time Stamps: [00:58] - We begin with our usual power of affirmation. [02:02] - In this episode, we explore inner child healing and self-discovery. [05:17] - In exploring inner child work, nurturing a healthy relationship is pivotal. [05:39] - Engaging in transformative activities, like visualization letters, unveils inner needs. [07:40] - In their letters, clients reflect on growth, connecting past and present selves. [09:06] - In closing, clients incorporate affirmations, bridging past and present self-love. [10:11] - What is your inner child / inner girl? [12:57] - Hear the first letter, in which the writer has embraced challenges, nurtured relationships, and prioritized self-improvement and self-love. [14:40] - According to the Cambridge dictionary, the inner child still feels and reacts like a child. [16:15] - The second letter reflects how the writer has become a successful, kind, and adventurous veterinarian. [19:07] - It's important to honor your inner girl while recognizing that she can't run your adult life. [20:30] - The third letter reflects resilience and self-love despite traumatic challenges. [24:25] - It's important to Identify patterns and address inner girl work for healthier relationships and a healthier self. [25:29] - I share some questions to ask yourself to help identify if your inner girl needs some attention. [26:49] - Hear my own letter in which I address my gift for sharing wisdom via my coaching practice and podcast. [29:27] - Reading these letters aloud brings cleansing, restoration, and self-awareness. [30:36] - We end with thought-provoking questions for your journal.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 09: the Spirit of Intimacy

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 13:26:17 +0000

Lovebugs, join me today as we unravel the intricate layers of intimacy, a topic that hits close to home for all of us. While our show primarily speaks to Black women, there's valuable insight for everyone today, whether you're single, a couple, or somewhere in between.

Sharing wisdom from Sobonfu Some’s book The Spirit of Intimacy, I emphasize the profound role of respect in fostering deep connections. I'll guide you through various types of intimacy, from the physical to the spiritual, urging you to reflect on how you connect with others and how you'd like to feel closest to a potential partner. You can also expect to hear from three different ladies who share their own experiences, one commenting on lack of experience vs. immaturity in a young marriage, one who is dating and doing some repair work to advance her relationship to the next level, and one who is happily dating and gives some insight into her spiritual work!

Find a cozy spot, tune in, and let's explore the world of intimacy together! See you next time, and remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[01:25] - Today’s episode is all about intimacy!
[03:19] - I will be talking about the book The Spirit of Intimacy.
[04:37] - I argue that men and women mutually need each other.
[06:23] - I discuss the importance of meaningful conversation.
[09:13] - Spiritual connection resonates deeply for genuine closeness.
[10:24] - This episode explores the concept of "spirit" in human connections.
[11:18] - Hear the dictionary definition of “intimacy.”
[13:55] - Understanding your needs is essential for growth in relationships or marriage.
[14:55] - A valuable exercise for couples is to ask each other: "How do I make you better?"
[16:40] - Hear how facing challenging traits in my husband has led me toward self-improvement.
[18:00] - Nature and rituals nurture intimacy, forming a vital, shared connection.
[20:24] - I offer a personal example of how intimacy thrives through rituals.
[21:57] - Relying solely on your intimate partner for emotional needs can be burdensome.
[23:26] - I argue that we should embrace feminine and masculine energies within ourselves.
[27:06] - Intimacy is allowing yourself to be seen and to see openly in return.
[28:21] - Intimacy thrives in diverse connections, built on respect, trust, and authenticity.
[29:47] - I talk about how rebuilding trust demands effort, which I’ve seen in my coaching.
[32:30] - Participate in a quick exercise!
[35:58] - I offer you two important questions to think about.
[36:30] Respect in relationships transcends gender.
[38:18] Respect is the glue; without it, intimacy and trust wane.
[41:36] I walk you through nine leading characteristics of a healthy relationship.
[43:03] Learn about gender differences in emotional processing.
[45:20] Hear a story about how lack of experience requires understanding and communication.
[48:26] Learn about coaching oneself to communicate effectively and set boundaries.
[49:41] Self-awareness and growth can be so beautiful.
[52:58] I encourage you to reflect on your understanding of intimacy.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
Instagram: @matchmarrymate
Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
Book a Call!: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

The Match Marry Mate™ Show (Trailer)

Fri, 06 Oct 2023 12:23:23 +0000

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Bonus 02: Recap with Mr. & Mrs. Myers

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 04:05:53 +0000

Welcome to the Season Two Bonus Episode, lovebugs! Join me and Jeremiah as we cover each episode from Season 2 together as husband and wife. One of the reasons I produce these bonus episodes is to be an example of what male-female conversation can look like in harmony and togetherness (and also as a calm away from the social media and gender wars noise). We need to have current, relevant, and critical conversations that are not always comfortable but necessary. We can do this without attacking each other or making up things that are damaging and against proper stats and data. Here's the season breakdown for today’s show: Episode 8: Jeremiah addresses Black men and offers ways for them to define self-value for themselves inside their communities and as partners and family men–amid another concurrent conversation about male provision and protection in the Black community. Episode 9: Jeremiah borrows my “men choose their partners based on their relationships with their mothers” principle and explains one of his draws to me and in choosing me with the same virtue he sees in his mother. Episode 10: Jeremiah discusses the personal gains of understanding parental and family history as he talks about his relationship with his father and family life. Episode 11: Jeremiah visits the meaning of marriage and how it evolved over time and within certain societies. I ask him to confront the “one man, one woman under God” Biblical view of marriage in response to polygamy being introduced in that particular episode. Episode 12: One of my coaching sessions with my client raised a mirror to our own marriage, and Jeremiah talked it out with me. Episode 13: Jeremiah unpacks the Marieism mentioned in that episode to affirm a woman's natural power. Episode 14: Jeremiah expounds on what co-laboring means to men and how that complementary energy of invitation and initiation blends well in male/female relationships. He ends with making bids, reciprocity, and what inspires a man to go even harder in pursuing you. Books Mentioned in Today's Show: The Relationship Cure: A 5 Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships by John Gottman, Ph.D. Connect with Me: Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠ Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠ Become a Patron!: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate⁠ Book a Call!: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 08: Physical Touch

Fri, 29 Sep 2023 04:08:00 +0000

As we continue our "In My Feels” series, let’s delve into the intriguing world of physical touch and its significance in relationships. I promised you a follow-up from the summer conversation that I shared in Episode 14, discussing sex and affection in the physical touch department with a man. While women will likely benefit the most in the episode, it’s open to couples and men too. As we are mindful about Cuffing Season, I want you to understand the nuances of physical touch and use it to improve the quality of your connections and relationships. We start by discussing the different types of touches and the love language known as physical touch, shedding light on how men and women perceive and approach it differently. I share insights on the three kinds of touch and how they exist in our daily lives. Physical touch is vital to our emotional well-being, especially during times when we might be touch-starved. Touch starvation can be a real concern for dating women and men, and even couples, so I offer practical tips on how to satisfy your need for touch in a safe and meaningful way. Whether you're single, dating, or in a committed relationship, join me in this episode as we navigate the world of physical touch, affirm our needs, and seek healthier ways to connect during these challenging times. Have a Secret Story you want to share with me? I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Time Stamps: [03:47] - We are talking about the power of human touch! [05:33] - Reflect on the power of touch in relationships. [08:33] - Distinguish between sexual and non-sexual touch. [10:53] - The 3 kinds of touch. [13:00] - Understanding the love language called ‘physical touch.’ [14:55] - Meeting our basic need for touch is essential for decision-making. [16:15] - Maintaining touch and emotional connection. [20:47] - I coach clients during cuffing season to fulfill touch needs safely. [22:31] - Explore differing interpretations of physical touch. Connect with Me: Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Instagram: @matchmarrymate Become a Patron!: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate Book a Call!: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 07: Cuffing Season

Fri, 22 Sep 2023 04:08:00 +0000

“I want you to be fully human and experience life as safely, fully, and wisely as possible while getting your needs met and being available for others to do the same too.” Intro: Welcome as we kick off our short series titled "In My Feels” to get us through the fall, a series designed to keep you updated on all things Match Marry Mate™ while we're between seasons. As we dive into this fall season, we explore the phenomenon known as "Cuffing Season" and its impact on dating and relationships. Why do people tend to start relationships during this time? We examine both the cultural trends and some science behind them. I also share my approach to this season, focusing on communication, intentionality, and self-care. I leave you with five essential things to remember during this time, from communication to managing expectations. I hope you will join me on this journey through the fall as we discuss matters of the heart, connection, and companionship. Stay tuned for more episodes, and remember, love, light, and relationships are what we're all about on The Match Marry Mate™ Show! Have a Secret Story you want to share with me? I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode! Time Stamps: [01:19] - We begin with the power of affirmation. [02:31] - Share your story with me for the next Secret Story episode! [03:37] - We are chatting today about Cuffing Season. [04:49] - My hope is to help you navigate seasonal changes in dating and relationships. [05:45] - We know that Fall is, for many people, an ideal time for relationships. [07:30] - Reflect on burdens, spiritual alignment, and seasonal life cycles. [09:35] - Fall, for me, is the season for romance, ritual, retreat, and reflection. [11:31] - I share my approach to helping women with seasonal dating goals. [12:39] - I guide clients on dating strategies, leveraging local events for connections. [15:04] - I discuss how October is the "Try Out" phase for dating strategies. [17:33] - Cuffing Season's popularity is linked to mood and physical intimacy needs. [19:16] - I talk about how Fall and Winter spark relationships due to loneliness and neediness. [21:18] - Five to keep in mind, #1 being the importance of communication! [21:38] - #2 is that there is no need to be hasty. [21:55] - #3: Communicate your intentions, and avoid misunderstandings. [22:22] - #4 is to embrace the relationship for what it is. [22:50] - My fifth and final tip is to apply your data! [24:28] - I encourage you to reflect on your dating habits, needs, and desires in your journal. Connect with Me: Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Instagram: @matchmarrymate Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate Book a Call!: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Special 01: Punish Violent Men

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 13:18:34 +0000

Welcome to the Match Marry Mate podcast! In light of the recent "Protect Black Women'' outcries, your host Joyice uses this special episode to take a deep dive into the issue of male violence against women, with a particular focus on the experiences of black women. While I usually discuss topics related to self-love, femininity, and relationships, today I want to address a critical societal issue that demands our attention. I share a personal story from my life that intersects with this topic, exploring the complexities of gender relations, morality, and violence within intimate partnerships.

This episode is dedicated to Dr. Tamara O'Neal and the countless other women who have suffered or lost their lives at the hands of violent men, and I want to emphasize that this episode is not about sensationalizing violence but shedding light on the need for awareness and change. Listen in as I explore the prevalence of male violence against women, its historical context, and the urgent need for corrective action. Throughout the episode, I challenge the narrative surrounding domestic violence and emphasize the importance of men taking responsibility for their actions. I also share my personal journey and the difficult choices I had to make when faced with a challenging situation and even share my latest piece titled This Was the Moment!

As we navigate this sensitive subject, my hope is that this episode serves as a catalyst for conversations about gender relations, accountability, and the importance of creating safer and healthier relationships. Join me as we explore the complexities of this issue, and remember that we grow as we go! Have a Secret Story you want to share with me? I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

CREDIT: I learned about Hamish Sinclair and his work from “No Visible Bruises” by Rachel Louise Snyder.

Highlights from the Show:

exploration of male violence against women, focusing particularly on black women’s experiences
challenging traditional narratives surrounding domestic violence
emphasizing the need for men to accept accountability for their actions
a personal story to help highlight the complexities of this issue
encouraging conversations around gender relations and creating healthier relationships

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call!: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

14: I feel connected

Sun, 03 Sep 2023 06:19:26 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 7, lovebugs! This episode includes a curated Q & A session with me and my client, Dani, discussing similar refrains from the men she was dating and how to treat prematurely disconnecting with men. As our conversation takes off, we dive into dating practices, behavioral patterns, feedback loops, and sweet spots. This is a perfect show for those who need some new inspo with their dating. Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

13: I feel my power

Wed, 30 Aug 2023 13:30:34 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 6, lovebugs! My client, Alexandra, has rejoined us to share an update from her Fun Girl Summer Episode #2. We discuss assessing a man’s proposal for exclusivity, the decision-making process, and how to deliver the conversation. Nothing about this conversation went according to plan; we just allowed Spirit to flow, so listen in and be served. Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ Have a Secret Story you want to share with me...? I'm here for it! I invite you to story-time with me and drop your truths and tells along with my (sweet) tea. Spill it anonymously, of course, with me, and do not hold back! I want the tea, the juice, the beans, and the whole nine yards! Send your Secret Story here! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

12: I feel like a new woman

Mon, 28 Aug 2023 15:22:09 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 5, lovebugs! This episode opens with a curated coaching session with my client, Shaunice, and closes with an interview between me and her. First, we prepare for a "bid of connection" conversation Shaunice needs to have with her then-fiancé with femininity and vulnerability to create intimacy. Then, we catch up in an interview where she shares her "story of men" and how her relationship with earlier male figures (her father and uncle) impacted the kinds of men she chose. You won't want to miss this one. Tune in! Books/Research/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: Marriage Be Hard: 12 Conversations to Keep You Laughing, Loving, and Learning with Your Partner by Kevin & Melissa Fredericks Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

11: I feel my pleasure

Sun, 27 Aug 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 4, lovebugs! I'm joined by Kaity Rodriguez, LCSW—an author and the writer of the 100 Dates in Houston blog series for a conversation about her latest dating project. Tune in to hear us explore her selfhood and dating journeys, her opinions on the gender-number disparity between Black women and men, and her lover-girl feminine archetype. She also shares some dating tools she's learned that have improved her dating. Because Kaity's story included impressive self-awareness and self-work, I knew she'd be the perfect guest to teach us today. If you need support in this area, this is your show! Books/Research/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: 100 Dates in Houston: Love is a Numbers Game by Kaity Rodriguez, LCSW The Confidence Project Journal by Kaity Rodriguez, LCSW Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D. Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

10: I feel my mother's love

Tue, 22 Aug 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 3, lovebugs! I'm joined by Mrs. Tracie Stafford, a Social Sustainability Scientist who develops inclusive cultures and is the mother to one of my clients. I sit at her feet to soak in her wisdom about mothering, hindsight knowledge, generational patterns and trends (specifically Boomers, Gen X, and Millennials), dating advice from 27 years of marriage, and pageantry tips as a former beauty queen! Connect With Me: Instagram: ⁠@matchmarrymate⁠ Website: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/⁠ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: ⁠https://www.coachjoyice.com⁠ Book A Call: ⁠https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/⁠ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

09: I feel present #daddyissues

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 18:08:46 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, Episode 2, lovebugs! I'm joined by Mrs. Christian Jackson, LPC, LPC/S, NCC—our Daddy Issues Expert and one of my favorite Black woman therapists! We discuss father-daughter relationships and how it affects us throughout our lifespan. Our conversation includes daddy issues, the difference between therapy, counseling, and coaching—and the value in all three, naming and caring for your inner girl, being a boy-mom, tips for having a healthy marriage and family, and the Daddy Issues Inventory. Tune in for a heart-to-heart convo among Black professional women with a heart for Black (millennial) women. Books/Research/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: Daddy Issues: How to Detangle From the Sins of Our Fathers by Christian Jackson Personality Traits and Attachment Styles in Romantic Relationship Deciding by Tosun, et al. (Journal, 2022) Couch with Christian The Attachment Style Quiz *All the research content I included came from the journal above, and the definition I read for "sliding" was cited in it by Vennum & Finchman in an article called: Assessing Decision Making in Young Adult Romantic Relationships (2011). Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

08: I feel worthy

Sun, 20 Aug 2023 04:26:35 +0000

Welcome to Season 2, lovebugs! This season chronicles our "Know Thyself" series, and opens with self-worth. In the first segment, I explain our season's theme and affirmations, deliver my latest spoken word piece (my lyrical love letter to humanity), and confront what I call self-worth/self-value confusion. In the second segment, one of my dearest friends, Mae, joins me in the studio to discuss the difference between self-worth and self-value and the importance of separating the two. If you're confused about personal worth and value, struggle with your identity, or need a good comfort convo on these topics, this is your show! Books/Research/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: You Are Worthy by Joyice Robinson The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk Mother Hunger: How Adults Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance by Kelly McDaniel My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate Website: https://matchmarrymate.com Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 06: Feminine Archetypes

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome to the 6th Pop-Up Episode, lovebugs! In this episode, I'm fusing some psychology, spirituality, biology, and sociology together to discuss female and feminine archetypes (and my distinctions) in their divine and dark energies. I also include some differences between masculinity and maleness and femininity and femaleness while hinting at ways a woman could naturally complement her essence with a man. Enjoy this fun and flirty episode as we close our summer series on the podcast. We're taking a short break but will return on Sunday, August 20, for Season 2! Books/Research/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: Feminine Archetype Quiz Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 05: Joyice's IVF Journey

Fri, 04 Aug 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome to the 5th Pop-Up Episode, lovebugs! In this episode, I am narrating my fertility journey with IVF. I discuss the process, my feels, and some insight into my decision-making and conversations with my husband. Since my latest retrieval happened over the summer and transformed into a spiritual experience I didn't know I needed, it is completing our Fun Girl Summer Wishlist Challenge Bonus! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 04: Wife Friends

Fri, 28 Jul 2023 04:08:00 +0000

Welcome to the 4th Pop-Up Episode, lovebugs! This episode covers the 7 stages of marriage (for context), but the larger conversation centers on the value of wife-friends and couple–friends as I point to the 4th item on our Fun Girl Summer Wishlist—read something satisfying, steamy, or sexy. While our wishlist is designed for both singles and spouses to participate, this episode is for my wives! But, even singles can take some lessons here. I close the episode with 7 research-based benefits of having married couple friends for your marriage. Research/Books/Sites Mentioned in Today's Show: The 7 Stages of Marriage by Dr. Rita DeMaria (Book) When Harry and Sally Met Dick and Jane: Creating Closeness Between Couples by Richard Slatcher (Journal) What Do You Do When Things Go Right? The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Benefits of Sharing Positive Events by Shelly L. Gable, et. al (Journal) Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley (Book) Lit Erotica ***I am not recommending the books. I am simply sharing the sources mentioned. I do recommend the cited research journals.*** FYI: If you're a patron, you can request research articles from me on our platform, and I'll gladly share them with you! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 03: Client Dating #1

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 08:36:35 +0000

Welcome to the 3rd Pop-Up Episode, lovebugs! This episode highlights four Match Marry Mate™ clients giving me updates on their Fun Girl Summer dating, including the dates they accepted, the good time they're having (because dating should be fun), how they were received and taken care of by their dates, and the new dating skills they are learning and practicing like: Allowing yourself to receive Restoring childhood experiences Pivoting in real-time on date night "Working the room" Conversational flow Inviting a man to pursue to you Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 02: Client Story #1

Fri, 14 Jul 2023 10:45:27 +0000

Welcome to the 2nd Pop-Up Episode and our first Client Story Episode, lovebugs! Alexandra narrates her Fun Girl Summer 2022 to Fun Girl Summer 2023 in a conversational flow with me. We chat about: Alexandra's choice to join Match Marry Mate™ Why Alexandra answered the 2022 Fun Girl Summer Call The dating skills Alexandra has improved and the relationship lessons learned in the past year Cuffing Season (according to Alexandra's definition) What is the Match Marry Mate™ Social (with a recap) A personal update from Alexandra on her current-day dating activity We close with a Sacred Sisterhood Circle round where Alexandra quickly answers 7 questions that are on her heart at the moment. Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Pop-Up 01: Fun Girl Summer Intro

Fri, 07 Jul 2023 04:38:21 +0000

Welcome to the 1st Pop-Up Episode, lovebugs! This episode introduces "Fun Girl Summer" by Match Marry Mate™ and invites you to join us! I explain what is a Fun Girl Summer, including how it came to be, along with it's purpose, theme song, and our Summer Wish List Challenge! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ Fun Girl Summer Details: https://matchmarrymate.com/fungirlsummer23/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

Bonus 01: Recap with Mr. & Mrs. Myers

Fri, 23 Jun 2023 07:08:00 +0000

Welcome to the Season One Bonus Episode, lovebugs!

We debuted the podcast on my birthday, June 2nd, and each day for a week, we released a single episode through Episode Seven: "We are Joyice and Jeremiah." Since launching the show, we've been overwhelmed with your comments/messages and your love and support.

I've also taken to heart some of your feedback and questions and decided to bless you with this BONUS episode with details you want to know. Most of your responses were to episodes two, four, five, and six, which we'll cover in this bonus episode. Enjoy!

Books Mentioned in Today's Show:

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD

Connect With Me:

Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com

Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/

--- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

07: We are Joyice & Jeremiah

Wed, 07 Jun 2023 07:08:53 +0000

Welcome to the Season Finale, lovebugs! Enjoy our first conversational episode with me and my husband, Jeremiah. We're discussing major trends and movements with Black Families & Black Relationships/Marriage dynamics. Topics: State of Affairs between Black Men & Black Women Black Women's Response to Marriage Birthing & Socializing Black Children (namely boys) Possible Solutions to Remedy "Gender Warring" Black Women Marrying Down & Black Men Leveling-Up Research Article Covered in Today's Show: Black Women's Ambivalence About Marriage: A Voice-Centered Relational Approach by Patrícia Barros-Gomes & Joyce Baptist ^^^If you're a Patron, you can request a free copy from me.^^^ Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

06: I am clear

Tue, 06 Jun 2023 07:08:49 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode Six, lovebugs! This episode features a curated story with me and my client, Kera. We’re discussing how to determine if a man is aligned with our core values and if we have enough information to decide. This also leads us to a conversation about character traits and ways to challenge a man somewhat. Lean in and enjoy the conversation! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

05: I am uninterested

Mon, 05 Jun 2023 07:08:25 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode Five, lovebugs! This episode features a curated story with me and my client, Dani. This week, we’re discussing how to have an “I am no longer interested” conversation in the early stages of talking to a man. You know that space where you’ve had a date or two, and in those encounters, you realize there’s more misalignment than your standards will allow. You won't want to miss this one. Tune in! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

04: I am valued

Sun, 04 Jun 2023 07:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode Four, lovebugs! This episode features a solo session with Yours Truly as I address a father-daughter issue that a then-client asked me about. This week, we’re talking about father-daughter relationships. Yes, how you relate to your father, but today’s talk is more about identifying fatherhood qualities in men you’re dating or in relationships as you consider or imagine your future daughter and her relationship with the father you would have chosen for her to have–and that’s going to lead us to how we understand the difference between female respect and value from fathers and men. Go ahead and listen! Here's the blog post I mentioned in this episode: https://matchmarrymate.com/respect-value-women/ Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

03: I am balanced

Sat, 03 Jun 2023 07:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode Three, lovebugs! This episode features a Q&A and curated story as I address polarity and balance with two clients. This week, we’re talking about balance as we manage two realities in the dating and relationship space: (1) polarity as it relates to individuality and togetherness, concerning identity and community when dating, and (2) polarity as it relates to familiarity and novelty, concerning self-sabotage in a new relationship. Then, we transition to working through self-sabotage and the importance of balance. Tune in! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

02: I am teachable

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 07:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode Two, lovebugs! This episode features a curated story with me and a guest, Carlissa. This week, we’re talking about creating a Sacred Space for women—the beauty of it, the value in it, and the power that comes from it. Now, for all that magic to happen, the woman in need of support must be teachable, as that posture allows for authentic reception, and today’s guest is definitely if “being teachable” were a person. Enjoy! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message

01: I am Joyice

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 07:08:00 +0000

Welcome to Season One, Episode One, lovebugs! This episode features Storytime with Yours Truly as an introduction from me to you. I am asked many questions about how I came to understand men/masculinity or about my knowledge of feminine energy and power. And the quick answer is … a lot of it was born in my upbringing. In this episode, I’m sharing some highlights about who I am as a daughter, sister, mother, and wife. Let’s get into it! Connect With Me: Instagram: @matchmarrymate | https://www.instagram.com/matchmarrymate/ Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/ Become A Match Marry Mate™ Patron: https://www.coachjoyice.com Book A Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/matchmarrymate/message