Remote Station Seven

Broadcast 138

Wed, 01 Apr 2026 13:00:27 +0000

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 150th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Broadcast 137

Wed, 25 Mar 2026 13:00:09 +0000

Broadcast 136

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 13:00:03 +0000

Broadcast 135

Wed, 11 Mar 2026 13:00:59 +0000

Broadcast 134

Wed, 04 Mar 2026 14:00:28 +0000

Broadcast 133

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 14:00:46 +0000

Broadcast 132

Wed, 18 Feb 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 131

Wed, 11 Feb 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 130

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 129

Wed, 28 Jan 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 128

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 127

Wed, 14 Jan 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 126

Wed, 07 Jan 2026 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 125

Wed, 31 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 124

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 123

Wed, 17 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

You opinion is meaningless once it leaves your mouth. Best to keep it to yourself.

Broadcast 122

Wed, 10 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Saturday was meaningless before they invented hedonism. Sunday was meaningless before they invented gods. Monday was meaningless before they invented labor. What might Tuesday bring?

Broadcast 121

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Please show identification before accessing this restricted broadcast.

Broadcast 120

Wed, 26 Nov 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Art is the opium of the self-absorbed.

Broadcast 119

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Freedom isn't free. It costs the authority of the state that takes care of you.

Broadcast 118

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Remember that protest is a form of surrender to self destructive paranoia.

Broadcast 117

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Free speech is the cheapest speech.

Broadcast 116

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

If you have compassion for everyone, then you have compassion for no one.

Broadcast 115

Wed, 22 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven reminds you that good neighbors make bad patriots.

Broadcast 114

Wed, 15 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remember that no rights can be as meaningful as those you have sufficiently labored for.

Broadcast 113

Wed, 08 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Who needs metaphors when nothing is as it seems anyhow?

Broadcast 112

Wed, 01 Oct 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven reminding you that when no one listens, you scream, but when you scream, no one listens.

Broadcast 111

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Listening to this broadcast is a privilege for authorized listeners. If you do not have official authorization, listening to this broadcast risks imprisonment and/or execution according to federal bylaws.

Broadcast 110

Wed, 17 Sep 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven reminds you that everything is under control.

Broadcast 109

Wed, 10 Sep 2025 20:57:45 +0000

Don't forget: Everyone can't know everything. That's what government is for.

Broadcast 108

Wed, 03 Sep 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Just a gentle reminder that billionaires exist so that you don't have to.

Broadcast 107

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remember to stop trying to do something about the state of the world and just enjoy it for a change.

Broadcast 106

Wed, 20 Aug 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven would like to remind you that there are different types of love. Don't fall for the weak ones.

Broadcast 105

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven reminds you to look to the future. The present is fine as it is.

Broadcast 104

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 21:26:17 +0000

Remote Station Seven would like to remind you that a true patriot votes against his own interests and in the interests of his leaders.

Broadcast 103

Wed, 30 Jul 2025 21:24:58 +0000

Remote Station Seven is happy to remind you that no everyone can make history. That is what strong leaders are for.

Broadcast 102

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 12:00:00 +0000

See a tank on the street? Thank the driver for its safe driving practices. See a line of tanks on the street? Everyone loves a parade!

Broadcast 101

Wed, 16 Jul 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Immigrants drain the official state budget by creating the need for an immigration department, thus taking away money from our military. Oppose immigrants!

Broadcast 100

Wed, 09 Jul 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Spotted an illegal alien? Are you sure that YOU are not also an illegal alien? Remember to turn yourself in before you inform on others. You are your first priority.

Broadcast 099

Wed, 02 Jul 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Please remember - a protest is just a riot where the violence is verbal. Verbal violence still hurts our military and our great leaders and is punishable by the law. Or will be.

Broadcast 098

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 12:00:00 +0000

If you have taken to the streets and find yourself shot by a member of our brave military, please remember to thank that soldier for doing his job so well.

Broadcast 097

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Please remember that it is the military's job to keep the peace and sometimes keeping the peace requires violence. Also - are you interested in participating in the station's Summer Cookie Swap? Contact us!

Broadcast 096

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and the perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Broadcast 095

Wed, 04 Jun 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 094

Wed, 28 May 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 093

Wed, 21 May 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 092

Wed, 14 May 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 091

Wed, 07 May 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 090

Wed, 30 Apr 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 089

Wed, 23 Apr 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 088

Wed, 16 Apr 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 087

Wed, 09 Apr 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 086

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 085

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 084

Wed, 19 Mar 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 083

Wed, 12 Mar 2025 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 082

Wed, 05 Mar 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 081

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 080

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 079

Wed, 12 Feb 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 078

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 077

Wed, 29 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 076

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 075

Wed, 15 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 074

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 073

Wed, 01 Jan 2025 13:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven is celebrating its 100th year as the official state-sanctioned broadcaster. We are proud to spread the word internationally that supreme authority and perception of generous political domination can be combined within one ruling body. You can put your mind to ease, everything is under control.

Broadcast 072

Wed, 25 Dec 2024 13:00:00 +0000

We’re sorry. This week’s Hit Parade has been withdrawn due to sensitive information included in the Top 10 list.

Broadcast 071

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 13:00:00 +0000

We firmly believe a one party system takes the anxiety out of your voting experience.

Broadcast 070

Wed, 11 Dec 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Broadcasts will continue despite the government-enacted confiscation of radio devices. If you are caught listening to our broadcasts during this process, appropriate punishment will be forthcoming.

Broadcast 069

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Would you like to be featured on our new program Let Me Tell You About Myself? You have only a 25% chance of being arrested for expressing subversive thoughts, so why not come to our studios and let our listeners get to know you.

Broadcast 068

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Tired of the same old headlines? That’s what happens when you have an endless war waging beyond the borders. It’s the burden of your citizenship.

Broadcast 067

Wed, 20 Nov 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Join the Remote Station Seven Debate League and compete to see who can argue in favor of the state better than anyone else. It’s also a great opportunity to uncover dissidents. Plus delicious snacks!

Broadcast 066

Wed, 13 Nov 2024 13:00:00 +0000

You cannot have free speech without unfree speech. You cannot have free thought without unfree thought. This is just the natural balance of the universe.

Broadcast 065

Wed, 06 Nov 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Want a free t-shirt? Why not join our Youth Truth Squad? Join your peers in marauding citizens with Approved Opinions and get one of our stylish t-shirts that will prove you are part of the crowd!

Broadcast 064

Wed, 30 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

You have the right to forfeit your rights. That is your ultimate right as a citizen.

Broadcast 063

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Is your work not fulfilling? Who are you doing your work for? Yourself or the good of the state? Don’t allow selfishness to dominate your work ethic. Any work for the good of the state is fulfilling work.

Broadcast 062

Wed, 16 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Our new Missing Pets announcements broadcast is not meant to imply that we will also offer a Missing Persons announcements broadcast, since there are no missing people as government statistics on the subject have repeatedly shown.

Broadcast 061

Wed, 09 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Fun fact: The free flow of information will create a tidal wave that will pummel your being as you drown in the depths of your so-called freedom.

Broadcast 060

Wed, 02 Oct 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Perhaps you’d like to know our official history. This information is classified. Please refrain from your current activities under penalty of law.

Broadcast 059

Wed, 25 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven would like to confirm that the recent reports of recent reports of lights in the night sky were incorrect. The night sky remains shrouded for your protection and lights remain forbidden. We urge you to stay indoors.

Broadcast 058

Wed, 18 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Ever feel like someone is listening in on your private thoughts? Don’t be foolish. You have no private thoughts.

Broadcast 057

Wed, 11 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

It’s time for the Remote Station Seven cutest pet contest. Listeners are encouraged to send in photos of their pet doing something adorable, along with its registration identification number and official electronic implant status.

Broadcast 056

Wed, 04 Sep 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven is dedicated to serving its listening community, and can better serve you if you submit a document with your name, address, and whatever grievances you have with the appropriate authorities. This information will not be used for any purpose that need concern you.

Broadcast 055

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

The Remote Station Seven staff curling team is fundraising again. When designated collection agents appear at your door, do not be alarmed. Please remember to surrender your unregistered electronic devices. And have a nice day.

Broadcast 054

Wed, 21 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Any resemblance between Remote Station Seven transmissions and the sounds in your own head are purely coincidental, and no such official experiments exist that could possibly make this a reality.

Broadcast 053

Wed, 14 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Had radio problems? Attempted to fix the problem on your own? Found a mysterious device lodged within your radio? This is all in your head. It never happened.

Broadcast 052

Wed, 07 Aug 2024 12:00:00 +0000

All variety shows are cancelled until further notice in favor of a slate of single purpose shows instead.

Broadcast 051

Wed, 31 Jul 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Never fear. If life is not all you expected, let the appropriate authorities know, and they will provide you with the required paperwork to make the necessary changes.

Broadcast 050

Wed, 24 Jul 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Like a good party? Have you ever considered The Official Party? You’re already a member, as are all citizens at birth, so you might as well enjoy it.

Broadcast 049

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 12:00:00 +0000

The opinions expressed on this transmission are entirely in your own imagination. Please be advised that both opinions and imagination are prohibited, and repeated use of either require self surrender to the appropriate authorities.

Broadcast 048

Wed, 10 Jul 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Have you been listening to Remote Station Seven transmissions in an attempt to uncover hidden messages? Keep trying! They’ve got to be in there somewhere.

Broadcast 047

Wed, 03 Jul 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Like television? Sadly, television no longer exists, but if you imagine pictures in your head while listening to Remote Station Seven broadcasts, it is exactly like watching television.

Broadcast 046

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Remote Station Seven is dedicated to helping its listeners achieve the best them possible. Tune into Remote Station Seven’s self-actualization transmissions and link up your personal authenticity with that of the appropriate authorities! The State will officially decree that you are blessed!

Broadcast 045

Wed, 19 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Have individuals claiming to be secret police showed up at your home and confiscated your radio? Have no worries! This is just an effort by the appropriate authorities to ensure that your equipment is updated. Be patient!

Broadcast 044

Wed, 12 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

If you find that transmissions from Remote Station Seven have caused sensations of nausea, you are advised to remember that Remote Station Seven does not officially exist and therefore you never heard such transmissions.

Broadcast 043

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Please be alerted that the following program contains oscillatory patterning that can cause hallucinations and affect certain aural processing functions, in addition to your ability to demonstrate free will. Remote Station Seven takes no responsibility for your personal outcomes but urges you to report to the nearest designated facility.

Broadcast 042

Wed, 29 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

If Remote Station Seven existed in fact and was not just the figment of a concerted disinformation program from beyond the official borders, what would you consider its most uplifting program?

Broadcast 041

Wed, 22 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Do you lie awake at night worrying about a world that seems beyond your control? By tuning into our programming the listener agrees to release Remote Station Seven from any responsibility for their existential angst.

Broadcast 040

Wed, 15 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Would you like a Remote Station Seven t-shirt? Remember, t-shirts are forbidden in the new state-mandated citizen codes and being caught wearing one on your person will result in your being appropriated to an official readjustment camp.

Broadcast 039

Wed, 08 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

The Remote Station Seven promotional van will be coming to your neighborhood! Take no notice. Behave as you normally would and if your normal behavior is one of official compliance, then you have nothing to worry about.

Broadcast 038

Wed, 01 May 2024 12:00:00 +0000

What’s your favorite song? Does it adhere to the state codes that have been enacted for your safety? Yes, it does? Then enjoy it again and again! No, it does not? Please stay where you are and the appropriate authorities will come to your assistance.

Broadcast 037

Wed, 24 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Broadcast 036

Wed, 17 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Remember that any other news source broadcasting on the airwaves exists to spread false information and poison the blood of our society, regardless of how fun it might be to listen to.

Broadcast 035

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Contrary to rumor our facilities have not been confiscated by the guerrilla groups in the west since the guerrilla groups in the west are just a fiction created by the guerrilla groups in the east in order to divert officials from the true source of danger.

Broadcast 034

Wed, 03 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Enjoy our scheduling announcements? That’s not our intention.

Broadcast 033

Wed, 27 Mar 2024 12:00:00 +0000

It’s sad when propaganda becomes frowned upon as a useful informational format.

Broadcast 032

Wed, 20 Mar 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Have you remembered to tell a friend about our Remote Station Seven broadcasts? Be prepared for the authorities to knock on your door.

Broadcast 031

Wed, 13 Mar 2024 12:00:00 +0000

Now featuring a special horoscope edition of our spy numbers broadcasts.

Broadcast 030

Wed, 06 Mar 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Having difficulty tuning into Remote Station Seven broadcasts? That’s because Remote Station Seven does not exist. There has never been a Remote Station Seven nor are there any plans to create a Remote Station Seven. You have been listening to lies that originate from beyond our broadcast range, even though we have no broadcast range because we do not exist.

Broadcast 029

Wed, 28 Feb 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Have you noticed our exciting new megahertz? They're the best megahertz yet!

Broadcast 028

Wed, 21 Feb 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Send us a selfie of yourself listening to Remote Station Seven and we'll add your name to our drawing for a raid on your home, including an official search and seizure of certain items that will no doubt be found.

Broadcast 027

Wed, 14 Feb 2024 13:00:00 +0000

This Valentine's Day, don't forget your favorite administrative bureaucrat! They need love too.

Broadcast 026

Wed, 07 Feb 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Be sure to tune in for our election special. We have been busily gathering the final results in advance for you!

Broadcast 025

Wed, 31 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Have told a friend about Remote Station Seven? Don't. Sharing information endangers friendships. And lives.

Broadcast 024

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Do you enjoy our spy numbers broadcasts? Then you're going to love our bingo numbers broadcasts. Why not tune into both?

Broadcast 023

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Please note: If you have heard one of our broadcasts on our World Service Radio, you should be made aware that we do not offer World Service Radio and wherever you got this idea from, you should alert the appropriate authorities and forget that you ever imagined that you heard our World Service Radio broadcasts that do not exist.

Broadcast 022

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Have outdated listening equipment and need a newer model? Have you contacted the appropriate authorities? They will provide you with a complimentary device after you sign the allegiance papers.

Broadcast 021

Wed, 03 Jan 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Our longest running show [title redacted] has been stricken from our schedule due to unforeseen circumstances announced by the appropriate authorities several weeks ago. We denounce [title redacted] and all of the recipes presented on it.

Broadcast 020

Wed, 27 Dec 2023 23:50:45 +0000

The following program does not necessarily represent the views of the staff at Remote Station Seven. It should be stressed that Remote Station Seven agrees with the authorities, any authorities, on every subject.

Broadcast 019

Wed, 20 Dec 2023 23:45:29 +0000

Be sure to use your Remote Station Seven Supporters Club card for discounts at participating businesses, but please beware it can not be used to initiate release if detained. In some precincts, it can go towards a less vigorous interrogation session.

Broadcast 018

Wed, 13 Dec 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Please follow us on Facegram.

Broadcast 017

Wed, 06 Dec 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Why not send us your favorite recipe and win a chance to serve it at the next committee meeting of the State-Sponsored Official Body of Broadcasters?

Broadcast 016

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Warning: Certain broadcasts may cause death to listeners who are prone to death. We take no responsibility for listener carelessness.

Broadcast 015

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 13:00:00 +0000

This station meets mandatory compliance statutes. All programming has been approved. The airwaves are property of the official bodies. Please do not hesitate to contact us in order to request your favorite song.

Broadcast 014

Wed, 15 Nov 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Our station-branded pocket combs are back in stock. Your messy hair solution has arrived.

Broadcast 013

Wed, 08 Nov 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Our signal is no longer jammed in Antarctica thanks to an agreement made with the Secret Antarctic Council for Governance.

Broadcast 012

Wed, 01 Nov 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Information is free but not necessary.

Broadcast 011

Wed, 25 Oct 2023 12:30:00 +0000

The opinions expressed on this program do not necessarily reflect the views of the staff of Remote Station Seven. A reminder: Remote Station Seven does not exist. It has no staff. It has no views.

Broadcast 010

Wed, 18 Oct 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Currently seeking a licensed tube rectifier. No benefits, plenty of overtime, love of isolation a must.

Broadcast 009

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Please call for more information.

Broadcast 008

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Point of the journey is the point.

Broadcast 007

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Weather reports are no longer offered by this station. We believe in free will.

Broadcast 006

Thu, 21 Sep 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Unauthorized personal phone call made by employee during official broadcast hours. The appropriate authorities were consulted and the employee has been dealt with in an appropriate manner. We take these issues seriously.

Broadcast 005

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 12:30:00 +0000

Sometimes you hear things that you don't actually hear and other times you don't hear the things you need to. And then there are the times in between.

Broadcast 004

Thu, 14 Sep 2023 13:25:08 +0000

Important information contained within. Please respond with confirmatory notations. Code configuration Beta Zeta Floofel Suitcase Alpha.

Broadcast 003

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 13:21:51 +0000

Is it only ever garbled? Are there no clear messages?

Broadcast 002

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 13:37:08 +0000

All will be revealed to those who are listening carefully.

Broadcast 001

Tue, 05 Sep 2023 01:09:03 +0000

There are things you don't see, you only hear them.