So, You Want to Read Tolkien

Episode 101: Peeled Grapes

Mon, 07 Jun 2021 04:15:47 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A, Part 1 and Part 3. We’re skipping part 2. I think it’s very clear that we were not really into this. A lot of ridiculous names and quick flashes of cool stuff Tolkien is rolling over in his grave Support the Show at […]

Episode 100: One Last Magical Girl Moment

Tue, 11 May 2021 05:06:14 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss the portion of Appendix A focusing on the Tale of Aragorn and Arwen. The tale starts with death…and ends with death a healthy amount of doom She calls him Estel their whole liiiiiiiiiives. You can’t tell me they didn’t bone on that hill. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien […]

Episode 99: It’s Just Sad

Wed, 21 Apr 2021 03:49:09 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 9, The Grey Havens Rebuilding the Shire Galadriel’s genetics Only Frodo has PTSD WHERE IS THE FRODO AND ROSIE FRIENDSHIP?!?! The Ringbearers leave. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

Episode 98: Hobbit on Hobbit

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 03:44:26 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 8, The Scouring of the Shire So Many Hobbits In This Chapters. Is Frodo a wizard now? Sam, Merry and Pippin the bloodthirsty NINETEEN DEAD HOBBITS No wait, Frodo is a God now. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! […]

Episode 97: GodBlessed Beer

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 03:21:37 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 7, Homeward Bound Much less people in this chapter What does Rachel want you to do with your fingerprints? How long did we laugh at Rachel for? Bill the Pony, King of the Wolves. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for […]

Episode 96: Rando Vibes

Thu, 18 Feb 2021 03:23:40 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 6, Many Partings Literally everyone is in this chapter. Again. There’s a funeral but it isn’t the saddest thing in this chapter We folks see each other again, or is it all a big death metaphor? Fucking Gandalf. Support the […]

Episode 95: Still the Bees

Tue, 19 Jan 2021 05:17:36 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 5, The Steward and the King Faramir and Eowyn meet! Faramir completes his hobbit pokedex A crown is taken from a dead man. A tree is found in the woods mountains But like…how do we KNOW Aragorn is really the king? […]

Episode 94: Praise Them With Great Praise

Sun, 06 Dec 2020 18:08:27 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 4, The Field of Cormallen Sam has a real good sense of smell They have to get back in to their dirty clothes Emmy’s favourite line in the entire book And, as always, Aragorn needs that drama Support the Show […]

Episode 93: We Do the Thing

Thu, 12 Nov 2020 00:24:03 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 3, Mount Doom Wait, we’re still walking across Mordor? There’s just SO much Doom in this chapter, Rachel is very happy It’s already obvious that Caitlin isn’t happy with the movie adaptation The eagles are coming (next time) Support the […]

Epiosde 92: A Date With a Nazgul

Tue, 29 Sep 2020 02:49:12 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 2, The Land of Shadow It’s time to walk across Mordor!. More comedic orc duos! This Nazgul wants YOUR name and number. A gobler? Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: Find us on Twitter! Email us!

Episode 91: Keep Calm and Think of Frodo

Thu, 27 Aug 2020 23:55:13 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book VI, Chapter 1, The Tower of Cirith Ungol In this chapter we are back with Caitlin’s favourite Hobbit! But that still isn’t enough to save this chapter from being mostly boring. There’s architecture. And orcs! There’s more architecture and more orcs! There’s a […]

Episode 90: Acute Depression of the Arm

Fri, 07 Aug 2020 01:29:22 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 10, The Black Gate Opens In this chapter the army spends a lot of time getting to a battle…and then not much time on the battle. Merry is left behind! We were wrong last week about miles. Which is just typical […]

Episode 89: Does Gandalf Yolo?

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 03:57:34 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 9, The Last Debate It’s a chapter of standing around a talking in two different parts! The Fellowship is reunited!…mostly. Caitlin still doesn’t understand miles? How far is it from Minas Tirith to the Black Gate? I have a feeling Twitter […]

Episode 88: Only Little Murder

Wed, 24 Jun 2020 03:22:48 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 8, The Houses of Healing Some people are healthy, and some are not. We will point out each one just in case you are confused. We meet Tolkein’s self-insert, self-burn. Also another woman! That we had forgotten about. Whoa. Caitlin has […]

Episode 87: Ultimate Evil Trilo

Tue, 09 Jun 2020 00:33:29 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 7, The Pyre of Denethor. Our favourite boy does just a *little* murder, and maybe a bit of treason. Feanor, thousands of years later, still causing problems for everyone. Murder-Suicide always seems like the best plan, right? We still don’t understand […]

Episode 86: Weed Wizard

Wed, 20 May 2020 01:13:16 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 6, The Battle of the Pelennor Fields. Dernhelm is a girl? What? Who killed the Witchking? Why was there a prophesy about that? And, most importantly, Gimli has his axe. Support the Show at https://www.patreon.com/Soyouwanttoreadtolkien for exclusive content! Contact Us: […]

Episode 85: Second Best Horse

Fri, 01 May 2020 06:58:35 +0000

This week we discuss Return of the King, Book V, Chapter 5, the Ride of the Rohirrim. A little less Ride and a little more Eavesdropping. Come and discuss with us as Merry is very observant, but misses some vital facts. Theoden gives some speeches and steals a horn. Eomer is racist, and Snowmane is […]

Episode 84: Bettamir

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 03:23:05 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 4, The Siege of Gondor! Characters Pippin – Guard of the Citadel, Faramir’s protector? Gandalf – bearer of bad news, Denethor’s worst enemy apparently Denethor – huge know-it-all, Steward of Gondor Faramir – Captain of the White […]

Episode 83: Done-Here

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 04:57:46 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 3, The Muster of Rohan! Featuring a couple of folks who super don’t want to be left behind. Characters Merry – a lone Hobbit Theoden – King of Rohan Eomer – Theoden’s nephew Eowyn – Theoden’s neice […]

Episode 82: Did You Just Say Nipples?

Fri, 28 Feb 2020 01:39:27 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 2, The Passing of the Grey Company! We’re back with Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas, and Merry! Also appearances from some new friends and fun cameos from some old friends. Characters Aragorn – heir to the throne, which matters […]

Episode 81: The Single Ladies of Minas Tirith

Sat, 15 Feb 2020 02:57:19 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy are excited to be back with The Return of the King, Book 5, Chapter 1, Minas Tirith! We meet back up with Gandalf and Pippin, and proceed into the Kingdom of Gondor, and learn just how little Pippin has been paying attention to…well…everything. Characters Gandalf – Wizard, herald of bad tidings […]

Drunk Tolkien 4: Mathematics and Gollum

Sat, 01 Feb 2020 09:17:04 +0000

We finally found time to get drunk together! Please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we eat some brunch, drink some drinks, and listen to Gollum impressions, and answer twitter’s most ridiculous middle earth related questions, like “Why does Pippin always look up when he gets an apple?” Math and alcohol and albatrosses. Obviously Hobbit […]

Movie Episode! The Two Towers

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 06:56:23 +0000

On this, our first episode of 2020, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the Two Towers movie directed by Peter Jackson. Faramir is super different, how do we feel? We want the version of this movie with Arwen at Helm’s Deep! Hama for president 2020! King Theoden, the best. Also, we’ve […]

Episode 80: Can’t Go Wrong With Tentacles

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 04:37:10 +0000

On this, our last episode of 2019, please join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy in their discussion of the 1978 animated movie, The Lord of the Rings. In which we ask the following very important questions: Why doesn’t Aragorn wear pants? Why does everyone want to punch Bilbo? Who is Aruman? Why is everyone the same […]

Episode 79: Sam is Real Good

Sun, 08 Dec 2019 09:10:55 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Nine, The Choices of Master Samwise Characters: Sam – an extremely fearsome enemy (probably a large elf) Frodo – he dead Shelob – still nightmare fuel Shagrat – orc middle management from the Tower of Cirith Ungol Gorbag – orc middle management […]

Episode 78: When You Wish Upon Your Daddy

Wed, 20 Nov 2019 10:48:59 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Eight, Shelob’s Lair Characters: Frodo and Sam – Spelunkers Gollum – it’s allllla Gollum now Shelob – pure and utter nightmare fuel Characters from legend: Earendil – has the silmaril now…and is a star, also the aforementioned Daddy Melkor – original evil. […]

Episode 77: Tourist Observation Deck

Fri, 08 Nov 2019 04:55:17 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Seven, The Stairs of Cirith Ungol Characters: Frodo – Our hero Sam – Our hero wouldn’t have got far without him Smeagollum – the hero of his own story The Witch-King of Angmar, the Lord of the Nazgul, the Black Captain – […]

Episode 76: Make a U Turn, Precious

Sun, 27 Oct 2019 18:09:28 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Six, Journey to the Crossroads Characters: Faramir – gone from our pages, but not from our hearts. Frodo and Sam and Gollum – Our walking party. Following the map of their journey, they walk down from Henneth Annun and end at […]

Episode 75: The Fish Tolkien Podcast

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 23:23:13 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Five, The Window on the West. Characters: Frodo – a tricksy hobbit Faramir – a tricksy human Smeagollum – a tricksy guide Sam – a hobbit who just wants to do a murder, but isn’t tricksy enough Anborn – probably dies after […]

Episode 74: Tolkien Gets to Flex

Wed, 02 Oct 2019 09:40:01 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Five, The Window on the West. Characters: Frodo – a hobbit with a secret Faramir – a man who wants to know the secret Sam – just blurts out the secret Mablung and Damrod – Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are there In […]

Episode 73: Frodo’s Twilight Moment

Wed, 25 Sep 2019 11:46:36 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Four, Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit. Characters: Frodo- Nap-master Sam – Chef Smeagollum – Sous Chef Faramir – Captain of Gondor Mablung and Damrod – Rosencrantz and Guildenstern In the same map as the last two weeks you can see how the […]

Episode 72: Lubricate the Ol’ Pipe

Wed, 18 Sep 2019 12:15:58 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Three, The Black Gate is Closed. Characters: Frodo- Has to get into Mordor Sam – Will follow Frodo anywhere Smeagollum – super doesn’t want to go to Mordor Here is a link to the same map as last week, continuing the trios […]

Episode 71: Fish and Subjugation

Wed, 11 Sep 2019 20:56:22 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter Two, The Passage of the Marshes. Characters: Frodo- The Master of Smeagol Sam – The One Who Does not Trust Smeagol Gollum/Smeagol – is Smeagol Here is a link to the same map as last week, continuing the trios journey across the […]

Episode 70: Gollum-Off Round One

Thu, 05 Sep 2019 10:24:18 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers: Book Four, Chapter One, The Taming of Smeagol. Characters: Frodo- Yay! Back to our Ringbearer! Sam – Yay! And his stalwart gardener! Gollum/Smeagol – …he’s here too. Making more pit pats! Maybe a black rider? Here you can see a map of Frodo and Sam’s […]

Episode 69: One Does Not Ride Shadowfax, He Rides You

Wed, 28 Aug 2019 09:26:58 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Book Three, Chapter Eleven of the Two Towers, The Palantir Characters Pippin – a hobbit who makes a bad choice and it gives him exactly what he wanted Merry – a hobbit who really, really just wants to sleep Gandalf – Wizard with answers! Aragorn – a man […]

Episode 68: Enter Through the Door, Exit Through the Roof

Wed, 21 Aug 2019 09:26:25 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Book Three, Chapter Ten of the Two Towers, The Voice of Saruman Characters Gandalf – OUR Wizard Saruman – That OTHER Wizard. Has a seductive voice. Merry/Pippin – The best gate keepers there ever were. Aragorn/Legolas/Gimli – the hunters, just being there, representing the three races of Middle […]

Episode 67: Just-in-Case-Pipe!

Wed, 14 Aug 2019 08:25:13 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Book Three, Chapter Nine of the Two Towers, Flotsam and Jetsam Characters Merry and Pippin – hobbit friends, provide food, and tell a story Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli – the hunters find their quarry, and listen to a story Saruman – The Mean Wizard Gandalf – The Nice […]

Episode 66 – Yay Friendship!

Wed, 07 Aug 2019 07:26:25 +0000

A new episode

Episode 65: A Forest and a Hard Place

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 06:30:33 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers, Book Three, Chapter 7: Helm’s Deep. Characters Gandalf – a wizard up to his old tricks. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas – the three hunters, still trucking on. Théoden – King of Rohan Éomer – Théoden’s nephew Háma – Rohan’s MVP Gamling – a Rohan […]

Episode 64: Háma For President 2020

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 05:37:23 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers, Book Three, Chapter 6; The King of the Golden Hall. Apologies about the audio issue with this weeks episode! Characters Gandalf – Stormcrow, The White Rider Aragorn – Heir of Elendil Gimli – a dwarf Legolas – an elf Théoden – King of the Golden […]

Episode 63: A Great Betrayal

Tue, 02 Jul 2019 18:15:01 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy, discuss The Two Towers, Book Three, Chapter Five, The White Rider Characers Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas – The Three Hunters Gandalf – THE WHITE! Shadowfax Hasufel and Arod Mentions of: Sauron Saruman Gwaihir Merry and Pippin Galadriel Treebeard and Ents Balrog, Durin’s Bane The Journey The entirety of this […]

Episode 62: The Birds and the Bees and the Trees

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 19:22:05 +0000

This week Caitlin and Rachel and Emmy discuss Chapter 4 of Book Three of the Two Towers, Treebeard. Characters: Pippin and Merry – Hobbits! Treebeard – an Ent! Guardian of the forest Quickbeam – another Ent, younger, hastier. Entwives – the female Ents. Mentions of Saruman and Gandalf The Journey The entirety of this chapter […]

Episode 61: The Apple of His Eye

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 12:48:15 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers, Book Three, Chapter 3: The Uruk-hai. Characters Merry and Pippin – Hobbit Hostages Ugluk – the leader of the Uruk-hai from Isengard Grishnakh – the leader of the orcs from Mordor Various other orcs The Journey If you ever want to check the path of […]

Episode 60: Wingfoot Longshanks…Potter?

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 19:49:57 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers, Chapter 2, The Riders of Rohan Characters Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas – the Three Hunters, the Fellowship leftovers Eomer – The Third Marshall of the RIddermark, a man of Rohan. Eothain – a man of Eomer’s company. Arod and Hasufel – New horses! Theoden – we […]

Episode 59: Gimli is my Baby

Tue, 04 Jun 2019 20:45:48 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss The Two Towers, Book 3: Chapter 1 The Departure of Boromir. Characters Aragorn – still indecisive Legolas – doesn’t let a friend sing alone Gimli – really just wants to get on with it Boromir – is dead. Locations The Three Hunters are still around Amon Hen […]

Bonus Episode: Down to Two

Mon, 27 May 2019 19:50:25 +0000

Emmy is on vacation, so Caitlin and Rachel have a short discussion without her! How did we all meet? It’s a mystery. We like other books! What makes a fantasy movie? WATCH WILLOW! The Very Secret Diaries The Very Wrong Fanvid Also we now have a Patreon Page! Please check it out! Find us […]

Episode 58: Struck a Silmaril

Wed, 22 May 2019 21:24:08 +0000

This week we combined our movie discussion with out drunk episode. So, it’s a drunk movie discussion! We discuss our favourite scenes and lines and performances and adaptations. But, more importantly, we discuss the following completely unrelated pop-culture mediums: X-Men John Wick Detective Pikachu Veggie Tales Spy Kids Contact Us On Twitter

Episode 57: I2I

Wed, 15 May 2019 04:13:33 +0000

We have reached the final chapter of the Fellowship of the Ring! Characters Frodo Sam Merry Pippin Aragorn Legolas Gimli Boromir THE EYE Locations Due to the chapters long indecision, the Fellowship is still in the same place it was last chapter, which can be seen here. It’s the end of the book, let […]

Episode 56: Splish Splash

Mon, 06 May 2019 22:58:16 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Fellowship of the Ring, Book Two Chapter Nine: The Great River Characters The Fellowship – if you haven’t gotten it yet…there is no hope Gollum! – the Pit Pat Creature Mysterious Enemy on a winged creature – Frodo may know more. Locations The Fellowship travels down the Anduin […]

Episode 55: Blame Celeborn!

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 19:52:05 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Fellowship of the Ring Book 2 Chapter 8, Farewell to Lorien. Characters The Fellowship – Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli Galadriel – the Lady of Lothlorian Celeborn – the Lord of Lothlorian Celebrian and Arwen – Galadriel and Celeborn’s daughter and granddaughter, just mentioned. Haldir […]

Episode 54: Dominating Hobbit

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 04:38:53 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy read Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2 Chapter 7, the Mirror of Galadriel. Characters The Fellowship – Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli Haldir – an elf of the Galadhrim Galadriel – the Lady of Lothlorian Celeborn – the Lord of Lothlorian Rando elves of the Galadhrim […]

Episode 53: Pull an Elf

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 18:16:12 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy, discuss Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2 Chapter 7, Lothlorian Characters The fellowship – Minus One Wizard Haldir – an elf of Lothlorien Haldir’s brothers – Rúmil and Orophin The Creature of the PitPats – ???? Nimrodel and Amroth – Elves who lived in Lothlórien many years ago. We hear a […]

Episode 52: Stab a Hobbit

Tue, 26 Mar 2019 02:55:37 +0000

This week we are discussing Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2 Chapter Five, The Bridge of Kazad-Dûm Characters: The Fellowship! Frodo Sam Merry Pippin Gandalf Gimli Legolas Boromir Aragorn Durin’s Bane Balin, Oin, Ori The Journey The Fellowship make it to the far side of Moria and the Misty Mountains, and exit out into the […]

Episode 51: No One Likes Pit Pats

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 07:12:45 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2 Chapter 4, Journey in the Dark. The Fellowship: Gandalf – Has been to Moria before, wants to take the road through Moria Aragorn – Has also been to Moria before, wanted to avoid it if at all possible Gimli – Wants to […]

Episode 50: Don’t Blow Your Horn Early

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 15:07:06 +0000

This week we talk about Fellowship of the Ring Book 2, Chapter 3 The Ring Goes South. AND we do it in less than two months. Characters The Fellowship: Frodo – The bearer of the ring, the only person obligated to go all the way to Mordor Sam – Can’t leave his master behind, so […]

Episode 49: The Longest Meeting of All Time

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 11:23:23 +0000

This week we discuss Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2 Chapter 2, The Council of Elrond. Characters Frodo – son of Drogo, the Ring Bearer Samwise – a hobbit who sneaks into secret meetings Bilbo – the Ring Finder Gandalf – a wizard Elrond – an elf who has lived through much of Middle Earth’s […]

Episode 48: Magical Girl Glorfindel

Wed, 20 Feb 2019 10:36:25 +0000

This week we discuss Fellowship of the Ring, Book 2, Chapter 1, Many Meetings Characters Frodo – our main hobbit Sam, Merry, and Pippin – friends of main hobbit Surprise Bilbo! – The main hobbit from the previous book…the Hobbit. Gandalf – a return of our missing wizard. Still cagey about where’s he been. Aragorn/Strider/Dunadan […]

Episode 47: Anyways, They Continue Walking

Tue, 12 Feb 2019 09:54:38 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy prove, once again, that we are not qualified to do this podcast. Characters Frodo – a hobbit, has recently been stabbed. Sam/Merry/Pippin – Frodo’s friend hobbits, have not been stabbed. Strider – Human Ranger, also not stabbed Glorfindel – an Elf from Rivendell, and also died fighting a Balrog […]

Episode 46: They’re Multiplying

Tue, 29 Jan 2019 11:10:20 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss chapter 11 of Fellowship of the Ring, A Knife in the Dark. Characters Frodo – Our main, ring bearing hobbit. Sam/Merry/Pippin – Frodo’s friends Fatty Bolger – the Hobbit left behind. Strider – Our mysterious Ranger friend, who knows things Bill Ferny – A suspicious man. Butterbur – […]

Episode 45: These Are My Sons

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 03:05:52 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss chapter 11 of Fellowship of the Ring, A Knife in the Dark. Characters Frodo – Our main, ring bearing hobbit. Sam/Merry/Pippin – Frodo’s friends Strider – Our mysterious Ranger friend, who knows things Bill Ferny – A suspicious man. Butterbur – The owner of the Prancing Pony. Bob/Nob […]

Episode 44: KnoBob

Wed, 16 Jan 2019 06:37:35 +0000

This week we discuss Chapter 9, At the Sign of the Prancing Pony. Characters Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin – our four hobbits of the Shire. Harry, a (the?) gatekeeper Barliman Butterbut – a Bree man, the proprietor of the Prancing Pony Nob – a hobbit, works for Barliman Strider – a ranger – is […]

Episode 43: Tom Bombadil’s Yelp

Tue, 08 Jan 2019 10:30:46 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as they read Chapter 8 of the Fellowship of the Ring, Fog on the Barrow Downs. Characters Frodo Baggins Samwise Gamgee Merry Brandybuck Pippin Took Tom Bombadil Goldberry THE HAND Locations This chapters takes place within the Barrow Downs on the border of the Shire and the Old Forest. In […]

Episode 42: Tom Bombadil is Waiting

Tue, 11 Dec 2018 22:46:26 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as they read Chapter 7 of the Fellowship of the Ring, In the House of Tom Bombadil. Characters Frodo Baggins Samwise Gamgee Merry Brandybuck Pippin Took Tom Bombadil Goldberry Locations This chapters takes place solely within the house of Tom Bombadil, which is within the Old Forest. Tom Bomdadil Theories […]

Episode 41: Slutty Willow Tree

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 01:44:10 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as they read Chapter 6 of the Fellowship of the Ring, The Old Forest. Characters Frodo Baggins Samwise Gamgee Merry Brandybuck Pippin Took Fatty Bolger Old Man Willow Tom Bombadil Goldberry Locations This chapters takes place solely within the Old Forest, on the borders of the Shire. Intro/outro music: The […]

Episode 40: Arts and Crafty Hobbits

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 20:27:42 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Chapter 5 of the Fellowship of the Ring, “A Conspiracy Unmasked.” Characters Frodo Baggins Samwise Gamgee Merry Brandybuck Pippin Took Fatty Bolger Mysterious Black Rider The Hobbits are still in the Shire for this episode but they cross the river into the expanded territory of the Brandybucks and finally arrive […]

Drunk Tolkien Episode 2: The (Animated) Hobbit

Sat, 24 Nov 2018 19:08:23 +0000

Join Caitlin and Rachel and Emmy for a watch-along, commentary style of episode of the 1977 animated Hobbit movie. Really though, this will make zero sense if you’re not watching along. Intro/outro music: The Forest and the Trees Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Episode 39: Insert Nazgul Noise

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 18:44:06 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy, discuss Chapter Four of Fellowship of the Ring, A Shortcut to Mushrooms Characters Frodo – our hero, happy to walk through the wilds of the Shire Sam – not quite as happy to walk through the wilds, but happy to follow Frodo Pippin – sad to miss the best […]

Episode 38: Quenglish

Wed, 07 Nov 2018 21:13:48 +0000

On this week’s episode we discuss chapter 3 of The Fellowship of the Ring, Three’s Company, and discuss the complete wack fact that Frodo speaks Quenya. Characters Frodo Baggins – a hobbit who has recently sold his home. Gandalf – a wizard, who abandons his boy. Samwise Gamgee – Frodo’s gardener. What will he do […]

Episode 37: Don’t Abuse the Doom

Tue, 30 Oct 2018 23:23:23 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Chapter 2 of The Fellowship of the Ring, The Shadow of the Past. Characters: Frodo Baggins Gandalf Meriadoc Brandybuck Peregrin Took Samwise Gamgee Ted Sandyman THE RING Characters in the Past Sauron – evil dude. Previously, Morgoth’s grounded son. Gil-Galad – last king of the Noldor Elendil – […]

Episode 36: Secret Pizza, Safe Pizza

Fri, 26 Oct 2018 02:22:04 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss chapter one of The Fellowship of the Ring, a Long Expected Party. Characters Bilbo Baggins – a well off Hobbit that some may remember from previous adventures Gandalf the Grey – a wizard that some may remember from previous adventures Frodo Baggins – a young Hobbit, Bilbo’s nephew […]

Episode 35: Frodo is the Best

Wed, 17 Oct 2018 14:33:34 +0000

Join Caitlin and Rachel and Emily as we do a quick intro discussion before starting Fellowship of the Ring. When did we last read these? How bad are the movies and the books jumbled in our brains? What are we looking forward to about reading these? Apologies that we don’t have our Hobbit drunk […]

Episode 34: Behold, this is the Battle of Five Armies!

Mon, 01 Oct 2018 06:02:32 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss the final three chapters of the The Hobbit. Characters – The Clouds Burst and the Return Journey Bilbo – A Hobbit. Better than everyone. Gandalf – Our favourite wizard Bard – Dragonslayer, descendant of Girion. The Elvenking – Leader of the Mirkwood Elves. The Arkenstone – it’s basically […]

Episode 33: Son of Crack!

Fri, 21 Sep 2018 03:00:46 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss Chapters 15 and 16 of the Hobbit. “The Gathering of the Clouds” and “A Thief in the Night.” Characters Bilbo – Who is better than everyone in this book. Thrush – A returning bird. Carc and Roac – New birds! Ravens! Bard – Dragonslayer, descendant of Girion. The […]

Episode 32: Alexa, Play Into the West

Wed, 12 Sep 2018 09:48:32 +0000

This week, we discuss Chapters 13 and 14 of the Hobbit, “Not at Home,” and “Fire and Water.” Chapter 13 Characters Bilbo Cowardly Dwarves The Arkenstone Chapter 14 Characters Bard – A grim voiced fellow. Descendant of Girion, Lord of Dale. The Master of Laketown The Citizens of Laketown The Elven King Smaug – for […]

Episode 31: Azog Dies and Everyone Lives Happily Ever After

Wed, 05 Sep 2018 05:59:33 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss the third Hobbit movie, the Battle of Five Armies. Too much Alfrid why does everyone trust him? Lots of poor battle planning Why is Legolas in this movie? No one likes a Sackville-Baggins. Get in touch and join our conversation twitter @toreadtolkien email youwanttoreadtolkien@gmail.com Intro/outro music: The Forest […]

Episode 30: The Ponies Will Get Their Revenge

Wed, 29 Aug 2018 22:47:41 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy discuss Chapter 11 and 12 of the Hobbit, “On the Doorstep” and “Inside Information.” Characters Our regular cast is joined this week by everyone’s favourite Dragon! The Party gets some new pony friends…which very quickly go the same way as the previous ponies. A listener sent in another riddle, […]

Episode 29: Something to Look Forward To

Tue, 21 Aug 2018 11:08:03 +0000

This week we discuss Chapters Nine and Ten, Barrels Out of Bond and A Warm Welcome. Characters Bilbo Dwarves Butler Elf Raft-Elves Master of Laketown Barrels. A whoooole lot of Barrels The dwarves are imprisoned in the Elf Kingdom! And then they’re not! Good Ol’ Bilbo. Get in touch and join our conversation twitter @toreadtolkien […]

Episode 28: Goth Elves

Tue, 14 Aug 2018 04:45:01 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily as they discuss Chapter VII of the Hobbit, Flies and Spiders. Characters Bilbo – Our heroic hero The Dwarves – there’s a lot of them. Spiders – they are large, and creepy and we do not like them The Elf King – he’s a bit of a dick. Here […]

Episode 27: So, You Want to Read NOT Tolkien?

Wed, 08 Aug 2018 08:28:33 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss chapter eight of the Hobbit, Queer Lodgings. We didn’t learn from previous times we only did one chapter. This episode is super short And we talk about other books for about half of it We will never fail you again. Hope you wanted some non-Tolkien book recs! […]

Episode 26: Woooooo, High as Balls

Thu, 02 Aug 2018 05:56:07 +0000

In this episode Caitlin, Rachel and Emily discuss the second Hobbit movie, The Desolation of Smaug. And by discuss, I mean tear to pieces. No really. Get in touch and join our conversation twitter @toreadtolkien email youwanttoreadtolkien@gmail.com Intro/outro music: The Forest and the Trees Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License […]

Episode 25: The Hobbit…but with Guns

Sun, 29 Jul 2018 00:53:29 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss Chapters 5 and 6 of The Hobbit. Riddles in the Dark and Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire. Characters Bilbo – Hobbit. Burglar. Reaches a turning point in his career in this one. Gandalf – Very important wizard who sometimes has ulterior motives. Dwarves. – 13 […]

Episode 24: German Bedtime Stories

Mon, 16 Jul 2018 10:45:10 +0000

This week Caitlin and Rachel and Emmy discuss chapters 3 and 4 of the Hobbit; “A Short Rest” and “Over Hill and Under Hill.” Characters As a twist in these chapters, there’s thirteen dwarves, a wizard and a hobbit. Elrond – Son of Earendil, Founder of Rivendell. The Great Goblin – Leader of the Goblins […]

Episode 23: Carve it Into My Bones

Mon, 09 Jul 2018 22:59:24 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy discuss Chapter 2 of the Hobbit, Roast Mutton. And, obviously, the banking habits of Trolls comes up. Characters: Gandalf – A wizard. Also a Maia known in the Silmarillion as Olorin or Mithrandir. Bilbo Baggins – a rich hobbit of the Shire. Thorin Oakenshield – An important Dwarf from […]

Episode 22: Going on a Dragon Hunt

Wed, 04 Jul 2018 08:43:26 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy discuss Chapter One of The Hobbit, An Unexpected Party. Characters: Gandalf – A wizard. Also a Maia known in the Silmarillion as Olorin or Mithrandir. Bilbo Baggins – a rich hobbit of the Shire. Thorin Oakenshield – An important Dwarf from the company. Fili and Kili – The youngest […]

Episode 21: Keanu’s Apprentice

Tue, 19 Jun 2018 01:51:30 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy this week as we discuss the first Hobbit movie, An Unexpected Journey! Why is this movie so…not good? Did we enjoy anything? Thorin’s Wondrous Hair Thorin’s Smoulder Thorin. Get in touch and join our conversation twitter @toreadtolkien email youwanttoreadtolkien@gmail.com Intro/outro music: The Forest and the Trees Kevin MacLeod […]

Drunk Tolkien Episode 1: The Silmarillion

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 22:29:28 +0000

Welcome to our first episode of Drunk Tolkien! This week drunkenly recap the Silmarillion and have no idea what anyone’s name is. Achaidh Cheide – Celtic by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/) Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100340 Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Episode 20: Minas…..whatever

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 22:25:03 +0000

Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Of the Rings of Power and the Third Age, the final chapter in the Silmarillion. Caitlin gets confused about geography and trees Rings! Nazgul! Wizards! Caitlin is confused again. The Silmarillion comes to a close. Get in touch and join our conversation twitter @toreadtolkien email youwanttoreadtolkien@gmail.com Intro/outro music: The Forest […]

Episode 19: The Family Tree of Trees

Wed, 30 May 2018 00:46:54 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy for this week’s discussion of the Akallabêth. Characters: Not all of them, as they aren’t all important, but here’s some of the main players Morgoth/Melkor: has been banished to the void. Sauron: was grounded by daddy so built an evil empire in Mordor Edain: the “good” men, leading to the Dúnedain […]

Episode 18: Frickity Frack

Wed, 23 May 2018 06:12:21 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss the final chapter in the Quenta Silmarillion. Characters: Eärendil – son of Idril and Tuor, ruled Sirion and married Elwing Elwing – daughter of Dior, Earendil’s wife, currently holding the silmaril at the start of this chapter Elrond – their son Elros – their other, less famous son […]

Episode 17: The Answer is Always Doom

Mon, 14 May 2018 22:18:40 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel and Emily this week to discuss The Silmarillion, Chapter 23 “Of Tuor and the Fall of Gondolin.” Characters Tuor – son of Huor, therefore nephew of Húrin and cousin to Túrin, born immediately after the battle of unnumbered tears. Ulmo – vala of the oceans, only one who hasn’t abandoned Middle Earth. […]

Episode 16: Magical Friendship Necklace

Tue, 08 May 2018 20:02:53 +0000

This week Caitlin, Rachel, and Emily discuss Chapter 22 of The Silmarillion, “Of the Fall of Doriath.” Characters: Húrin – brother of Huor, father of Túrin, has been tortured by Morgoth for the last 28 years Morwen – Húrin’s wife, was lost in the confusion of Glaurung’s smoke Turgon – lord of Gondolin, once upon […]

Episode 15: Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim

Wed, 02 May 2018 00:55:19 +0000

This week on So, You Want to Read Tolkien, Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Chapter 22 of the Silmarillion, “Of Turin Turambar.” Characters: Rian – Wife of Huor, mother of Tuor. Morwen – Wife of Hurin, mother of Turin, Nienor, and the short lived Lalaith. Túrin – the main character Nienor – his sister. Beleg […]

Episode 14: The Worst Episode of Sesame Street

Mon, 23 Apr 2018 22:39:31 +0000

This week we discuss Chapter 20:Of the Fifth Battle: Nirnaeth Arnoediad. Characters: Three main camps: Maedhros – son of Fëanor Naugrim – dwarves Newer arrived men to Beleriand – known as Easterlings Men of Bór Men of Ulfang – fuck you Uldor the accursed Fingon – son of Fingolfin A bunch of people in Hithlum? […]

Episode 13 – The Goodest of Good Boys

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 21:40:01 +0000

This week we discuss Chapter 19: Of Beren and Luthien. It’s the happy chapter. Characters Barahir – descendant of Beor, did a good for Finrod Beren – Barahir’s son, and a Disney Princess Gorlim – one of Barahir’s band of outlaws Thingol – king of the Sindar, in the blocked off forest of Doriath Melian […]

Episode 12: The Secret SECRET Place

Fri, 13 Apr 2018 05:33:23 +0000

This week we discuss chapter 18 of the Silmarillion, “Of the Ruin of Beleriund and the Fall of Fingolfin.” I’m not going to list the characters this week. There is too many. Instead here is a screenshot of our google doc with the characters. Map of where the Noldor had set up before the […]

Episode 11: Emo Goth Elf

Mon, 02 Apr 2018 04:23:56 +0000

In this weeks episode we discuss Chapter 16, “Of Maeglin” and Chapter 17, “Of the Coming of Men into the West” Caitlin is about to leave the country for a week and so does not have time for extensive show notes, but here is a family tree of the Edain: This is the easiest to […]

Episode 10: Glamping

Mon, 26 Mar 2018 18:39:20 +0000

This week on So, You Want to Read Tolkien, we discuss Chapter 14 and 15 of the Silmarillion. Chapter 14 – Of Beleriand and It’s Realms Please just look at these maps. Nothing happens. Normal map of Beleriand How Beleriand fits in with the Middle Earth we know and love A fan map that includes […]

Episode 09: They’re Only HALF-Cousins

Mon, 19 Mar 2018 22:37:38 +0000

On this week’s episode of So, You Want to Read Tolkien, Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Chapters 12 and 13 of the Silmarillion. Characters Chapter 12 Manwë – Lord of the Valar Ulmo – Valar of the Sea Yavanna – Valar of fruits and growing things. The one who made the Trees. Mandos – Valar […]

Episode 08: Daddy Morgoth

Fri, 16 Mar 2018 03:07:25 +0000

This week on So, You Want to Read Tolkien, we discuss Chapter 10 “Of the Sindar” and Chapter 11 “Of the Sun and Moon and the hiding of Valinor” Other Resources: Tolkien Gateway lotrproject.com <— if you click around a lot you will get a lot of spoilers. I guess that’s true of both […]

Episode 07: The Oathiest of Oaths; The Speechiest of Speeches

Tue, 06 Mar 2018 07:15:39 +0000

Join Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy as we discuss Chapter Nine of the Silmarillion, Of the Flight of the Noldor. Helcar…whatever How many messengers? How many speeches? Caitlin has FEELINGS about Fëanor. Oaths and Curses. Characters Finwë – Ambassador/King of the Noldor/Fëanor’s Father Fëanor – Son of Miriel and Finwe. Creates the Silmarils. Has a […]

Episode 06: Tuna on Túna

Mon, 26 Feb 2018 21:55:03 +0000

On this week’s episode Caitlin, Rachel, and Emmy discuss Chapter 8: The Darkening of Valinor Characters Finwë – Ambassador/King of the Noldor/Fëanor’s Father Fëanor – Son of Miriel and Finwe. Creates the Silmarils. Has a bitter hatred of Melkor. Fingolfin/Finarfin – Fëanor’s half brothers. Manwë – King of the Valar Varda – Queen of the […]

Episode 05: Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien

Tue, 20 Feb 2018 11:10:53 +0000

ON this weeks episode Caitlin, Rachel and Emmy discuss Chapter 5: Of Feanor and the Unchaining of Melkor, and Chapter 6: Of the Silmarils and the Unrest of the Noldor, in their Silmarillion discussion. Characters Finwë – Ambassador/King of the Noldor/Fëanor’s Father Miriel – Married to Finwë, Mother of Fëanor, First elf to ever die. […]

Episode 04: Netflix and Chill with Manwë

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 10:10:01 +0000

In this weeks episode of So, You Want to Read Tolkien, Rachel and Emily and Caitlin read Chapter 4: Of Thingol and Melian, and Chapter 5: Of Eldamar and the Princes of the Eldalië Chapter 4 Characters Thingol – Discussed in the previous chapter as Elwë. One of the 3 ambassadors that went to […]

Episode 03: The Mental Health of Orcs

Mon, 05 Feb 2018 09:16:42 +0000

This week we discuss Chapter 2 and 3 of the Silmarillion, “Of Aulë and Yavanna” and “Of the Coming of the Elves and the Captivity of Melkor” Chapter 2 Characters: Aulë Yavanna Manwë Iluvatar Dwarves Ents Eagles Chapter 3 Characters and References: Oromë Varda Melkor Manwë Mandos Ulmo Melkor Sauron Balrogs and Orcs and a […]

Episode 02: Chocolate and Beer

Tue, 30 Jan 2018 07:53:49 +0000

This week on So, You Want to Read Tolkien, we discuss Chapter One of Quenta Silmarillion: Of the Beginning of Days. Melkor and the true meaning of Christmas Tulkas and his laughter The Lamps go up, the Lamps come down. Trees! First mention of the Silmarils Elves and Humans are coming…some time. Here is some […]

Episode 01: Team Melkor!

Mon, 22 Jan 2018 23:44:59 +0000

On this weeks episode we discuss the Ainulindalë and the Valaquenta, the first two short stories in The Silmarillion. Is Ilúvatar just a really terrible dad? Sexism, ableims, and heteronormivity all in one chapter! Creation is created!…or whatever For reference: Here is some fabulous art of the Valar and here is a brief description: Melkor – […]

Episode 00: Good Ol’ Aragron

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 21:21:38 +0000

Welcome to the first episode of So, You Want to Read Tolkien, a podcast where your hosts guide you through the main works from J.R.R. Tolkien in a very friendly, open to all way. In this first episode, we introduce ourselves and how we hope to be bringing you a balance of love for the […]