The Undesirables

Closure: The Season Finale

Thu, 08 Aug 2019 09:00:00 +0000

When some ghosts from Tom's past return in dramatic fashion, the boys realize they have no choice but to resurrect senior relationship expert correspondent Kait Emery to inject once again some much-needed wisdom into their well-intentioned mania and neuroses.

[NOTE: For the full context of these stories, please listen to episodes 13-15 of season two.]

It's been a long season, y'all. We laughed. We cried. We contracted (and importantly, cured) chlamydia. But things are coming to a stop here for a little bit while we regain our sanity and maybe kiss a person or two off mic for a bit. Thank you all for continuing to listen as we publicize our ignorance. Thank you to our guests, Dr. Deanna Richards, Rachel Kidd, Will Gleason, Laura and Dylan Petro, Lindsey Metselaar, Ben Goodman, Peter A., Tori Piskin, Kait Emery, Dr. Maggie Dancel, B & L, James Petrine, Pete and Josh, and then Kait Emery again.

See you again soon!

If you like what you hear, please leave a five-star review on iTunes; it really does make a difference! Give us a shout on social media, share us with a friend, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter or Instagram: @undesirablespod @mrthomasella @tuckerwins.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

"I have chlamydia"

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 12:35:00 +0000

We all knew it would come to this.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

The Sexual Fantasies Quiz

Wed, 24 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tom, Tucker and official Undesirables senior gay correspondent James dive into a sexual fantasies quiz from Tell Me What You Want, a book that takes a fascinating, comprehensive look at the complexities of Americans' sexual fantasies.

Tell us a little about yourself and we can guess your sexual fantasies using this 15-question quiz. Are you organized? Democrat or Republican? Religious? Ohhh wow, you're into some stuff. Listen as we each take the quiz ourselves and learn the horrifying origins of our kinks.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Reporting LIVE from Tucker's bedroom

Wed, 17 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000

With Tucker out on assignment, Tom drops the hard news: There's only three episodes left in the season.

"Only three episodes left in the season?!"

Oh, you read that right. But keep in mind, these are gonna be top quality, primo, prime cut episodes of The Undesirables. You're gonna leave this season feeling so satisfied with how it all played out.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Pete and Josh, hosts of Poe Boys, a Star Wars podcast

Wed, 10 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tom, not able to take the idea of asking Tucker another single question about his dating life, decides to hop on a train out of the city to catch up with his old friends and hosts of the Poe Boys podcast, Pete and Josh. Together, they know nearly everything about Star Wars and absolutely nothing about how to successfully navigate the world of modern dating.

There's truly no group of less qualified people for a dating podcast and yet here we are, telling you how long you should wait to tell someone you're interested in about your nerdy passions, giving a look into what it's like to date as a catholic, and finally asking what the hell coffee meets bagel is all about.

Don't forget to follow Poe Boys on Twitter if you're even slightly interested in whats happening in the world of Star Wars. And if you're into it, leave a review on iTunes!

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Kissin' dudes, dating profile review, and shout outs

Wed, 03 Jul 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom decide to let their natural charisma take over to talk about something other than kissin' ladies for a change... and end up talking about kissin' dudes. They talk about the motivation behind casual smooching, the difference between finding someone attractive and being attracted to them, and try to leave a little hope open for all the fans shipping a Tucker-Tom romance story.

Then phones get traded and dating profiles get a hard review. Pictures scrutinized and answers shredded. Finally, by popular demand, Tom revives closing segment Shout Outs to give props to some particularly good profiles on Hinge.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

James, senior gay correspondent, on Grindr, hookup culture, and tongue

Wed, 26 Jun 2019 09:00:00 +0000

No one has more dirt on Tucker and Tom than James. No one. He's known them for decades, lived with them for a full year, and liked them for weeks.

Official Undesirables senior gay correspondent James goes deep on Grindr and hookup culture, while Tucker goes on his first ever Bounce date, and Tom decides now is the time to ask for the group's most embarrassing sex stories, which backfires tremendously.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Read receipts, dating attrition, and tangents

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 09:00:00 +0000

After so many out-of-order or months-delayed episodes, Tucker and Tom take a quick squat and chat about what going on in their dating lives right now. Tom's soliciting teens for "journalism," Tucker's taking a break for "sanity," and they're both impossible to keep on topic.

Also, people, this is the beginning of the end... of season two. We're in the home stretch now. We've got probably four or five (maybe six, we'll see) episodes left before we call it a wrap, and you're not going to want to miss a single one.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

B & L, the anonymous hosts of Not Your Girlfriend's Podcast

Wed, 12 Jun 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Imagine Tucker and Tom unleashed. No more of this weak "let's rein it back to protect our friends and loved ones." That's what it's like for B and L, the anonymous hosts of Not Your Girlfriend's Podcast. They can get real, and they do here as the group discusses first dates, commitment, getting over exes and how important are orgasms to sex.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Dr. Maggie Dancel, psychologist and sex therapist

Wed, 05 Jun 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Finally seeking outside help, Tucker and Tom bring in Dr. Maggie Dancel, a clinical psychologist specializing in sex, to answer burning questions like: What is "too much masturbation"? What does a sex dungeon actually look (and smell) like? How quietly can you say the word "poop"?

Then, buckle up because Tom returns the favor by reading from his extensive notes taken at a bonafide sex class called How to Please a Woman (Squirting Tutorial Included). Yes, really.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

A Song of Ignorance and Identity

Wed, 29 May 2019 09:00:00 +0000

When Tom downloads a new dating app called Feeld and discovers a whole new world of gender identity and sexual orientation, he and Tucker decide it's high time to confront their towering ignorance. What's the difference between demi- and pansexual? What qualifies as skoliosexual? And what could "Two-Spirit" possibly mean, anyway?

Note: We have a lot of laughs along the way, but this is a genuine attempt by two straight white male idiots to learn.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tom's Jenny debacle, pt. III, an extreme ghosting

Wed, 22 May 2019 09:00:00 +0000

In the last episode Jenny, Tom's friend turned romantic interest, seemingly dropped off the face of the planet. A few days later, Tom finally gets a response. Tune in to find out what happened to Jenny, and if a friendship can be salvaged after a romantic fallout.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Kait Emery, pt. II, on Tom's great Jenny debacle

Wed, 15 May 2019 10:05:19 +0000

In the second half of our chat with Kait, Tom tells the story his rom-com gone wrong while Kait weighs in on topics like how to take your own wants into consideration when defining the relationship, the boundaries of ghosting, and the normalcy of post-date paranoia.

Don't forget to check out Tom's new article for Tinder: The Surefire Sign She Likes You.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Kait Emery, senior relationship expert correspondent

Wed, 08 May 2019 09:00:00 +0000

In the first of three gripping installments, Tucker brings in official Undesirables senior relationship expert correspondent Kait Emery to dissect and diagnose Tom's latest lady problems. This first case involves a particularly complicated ghosting that leaves both Tucker and Tom more frazzled than usual. Can Kait crack the case?

Don't forget to check out Tom's new article for Tinder: The Surefire Sign She Likes You.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tori Piskin, pt. II, on texting, chivalry and Tinder disasters

Wed, 01 May 2019 16:00:00 +0000

Comedian Tori Piskin is back with more hilarious stories in this second part. Learn all about whether calling or texting is worse, whether chivalry is dead (and whether it's sexist), whether it's appropriate for "a real Buddhist" to use the N-word on a date with Tori (spoilers: it's not), and whether or not Tucker is ever getting married, anyway.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tori Piskin, comedian and host of Got It From My Mama podcast

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom sit down with Tori Piskin, an incredible comedian who hosts a dating podcast with her mom called Got It From My Mama. They chat about divulging their sex lives to their moms, first date sparks, having sex dreams about your dad (yes, yours), and why Tori absolutely needs to break up with all the boys in her life.

This is the first of two parts! More with Tori coming next week!

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tucker's big breakup

Wed, 17 Apr 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tom's been going on too many dates and Tucker breaks the news about his breakup with Planetarium Girl. Along the way, we talk about Tom's first (and likely only) date from Bumble, casual physical intimacy, feeling weird about dating multiple people, the final straw and crying LIVE ON AIR.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tom tries speed dating 2.0

Wed, 10 Apr 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tom sits down with Ben Goodman from CitySwoon to find out what the hell is "speed dating 2.0" and how fast is he going to get rejected by how many people, exactly? Then, Tom and Tucker debrief on how it went, the most notable characters of the night and who Tom brought home with him.

Read Tom's first article for Tinder here: Tinder Diaries: A Single Guy Invests Recklessly In Almost Everyone. His second article, mentioned in the intro, isn't out just yet, but follow along @mrthomasella to read it first. It's a good one.

Special thanks to Peter A! Listen to his My Little Underground music podcast at peteraradio.com.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Lindsey Metselaar from We Met At Acme

Wed, 03 Apr 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tom and Tucker sit down with Lindsey Metselaar, the amazing and talented host of the hit dating podcast We Met At Acme, for a lively chat about astrology, what it's like to date with a dating podcast, open relationships, and why the hell Tom isn't on Hinge.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Laura and Dylan Petro, founders of dating app Bounce

Wed, 27 Mar 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom sit down with Laura and Dylan Petro, sister-brother duo and two of the founders of Bounce, a new spontaneous dating app where you match and make plans for a date ~tonight~ all without a single message.

They break down how that works, why standard dating apps waste your time, why you should swipe left on someone if you've looked at their profile for more than a minute, drinking vs. coffee dates, night vs. morning dates, how to get out of a bad date in less than half an hour, and getting suspended from Bumble.

[Apologies for the audio quality on this episode. Thanks for bearing with us.]

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Tom's blind date from Time Out's The Undateables

Wed, 20 Mar 2019 12:40:28 +0000

Tom went on a blind date through Time Out magazine's The Undateables column and has a lot to say about it. Then he sits down with Will Gleason, the matchmaker behind the column, to debrief and find out how this all works, anyway. Meanwhile, Tucker catches up with Tom's blind date, Molly, to find out what it's like to date Tom.

You can read Time Out's The Undateables column about Tom and Molly's date right here: https://www.timeout.com/newyork/sex-and-dating/meet-the-undateables-molly-and-tom

Huge thank yous go out to Will Gleason for playing ball and letting us record the experience, and especially to Molly for putting up with us far longer than she signed up for with The Undateables. Small shout out to Time Out's photographer as well for putting up with Tom's shit.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Long distance woes and having a type

Wed, 13 Mar 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and his girlfriend *REDACTED* grapple with having different long distance styles, how much to communicate, and how specific a person's "type" can get (answer: very). Tom reaches out to his ex before downloading all the apps again and asking important questions about whether it's OK to filter potential matches by race.

THEN, Tom debuts a new segment: Shoutouts.

*NOTE* Despite our enthusiasm for saying Planetarium Girl's name in this episode, we decided to censor it. We're fickle. Sue us.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Rachel, pt. II, on "Facebook official" and exes

Wed, 06 Mar 2019 10:00:00 +0000

While Rachel and Tucker re-litigate their breakup, Tom gets sad over his own.

Along the way, they answer some important questions like does Piggly Wiggly still exist and how sensually do you lick someone's elbow on the first date?

Thanks to Rachel for taking the time and making the trip to be on this podcast TWICE this year. What a hero. Catch her humor and her face on Instagram @unfortunate_selfies and watch her and Tucker yell at each other on Twitter by following her @anti_socialite_

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Rachel, Tucker's ex, on her first ever Tinder date

Wed, 27 Feb 2019 10:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom's friend Rachel is BACK by popular demand! She drove all the way to the Big Apple to see what this whole "Tinder" thing is all about and actually go on a date.

They address hot topics like what to do with your arms while kissing, whether to order a drink before your date shows up, and how fast can you have someone over for sex, anyway? An hour?

If you like what you hear, please leave a five-star review on iTunes; it really does make a difference! Give us a shout on social media, share us with a friend, and follow us on Twitter or Instagram: @undesirablespod @mrthomasella @tuckerwins

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Phone sex, bad sex and the morning after

Wed, 20 Feb 2019 10:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom explore the awkward beginnings of phone sex and the awkward endings of bad dates.

It's been a few months since Tucker and Tom got to sit down one on one and catch each other up on their personal lives. Who's dating whom and how does someone hit the eject button on a bad date? Let's talk about it.

If you like what you hear, please leave a five-star review on iTunes. It really does make a difference! Follow us on Twitter or Instagram: @undesirablespod @mrthomasella @tuckerwins

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Deanna Richards, relationship therapist, on polyamory

Thu, 14 Feb 2019 11:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom are back... in relationship therapy.

After what some would call "a season's worth of misery" and others would call "friendship," Tucker and Tom decide it's time to bring their problems to Deanna Richards, a licensed mental health counselor and relationship therapist, to get things back on track.

Along the way we hit the logistics on how to fit an entire polyamorous relationship on a two-person couch, the self-esteem hit of dating apps, and how the political climate has collided with online dating.

As always, let us know what you think by leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. You can find Tucker at @tuckerwins, Tom at @mrthomasella, and The Undesirables at @undesirablespod.

Photography by the talented and patient Sam Liebeskind who you can find at samliebe.com.

Season 1 recap trailer

Wed, 28 Nov 2018 10:00:00 +0000

The Undesirables are coming back for season 2 on Valentine's Day 2019! Catch up on season 1 now.

Season one finale: Are dating apps good? Are we bad?

Wed, 30 May 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Season one is over so Tucker and Tom take a hot minute to reflect on all the mistakes they made along the way.

Lucy Sweetkill, professional dominatrix and sex educator

Wed, 09 May 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Special guest and professional dominatrix Lucy Sweetkill teaches Tucker how to choke someone sexually without totally murdering them and tells Tom exactly what kind of bottom he is.

Short-term relationships and unreciprocated texts

Wed, 25 Apr 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker breaks up with New York for the weekend while Tom perfects the art of not getting dates.

A chat with the creators of a hookup app

Wed, 18 Apr 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom sit down with the developers of a new late night dating app to ask a very important question... You Up?

Labels, how soon to meet up and breakup stories

Wed, 11 Apr 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tucker and Tom swap stories to figure out who breaks up with people the worst. Is it too close to call? Let us know.

Jacques Boudreau, resident married guy, on being married

Wed, 04 Apr 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Not even 10 episodes in, Tom finally replaces Tucker.

Rachel, Tucker's ex-girlfriend, on swiping without intention

Wed, 28 Mar 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tom reveals the results of his human experiments while Tucker and special guest Rachel pat each other on the back for leading on romantic interests.

Fetish requests and defining the relationship

Wed, 21 Mar 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tom sabotages his chances at finding love by being too cheap again. Tucker has an anxiety attack LIVE ON AIR.

Failed hookups and dating multiple people

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tom sees the sunrise after a hookup gone horribly, horribly wrong. Tucker sees only guilt.

Tom's big breakup and Tucker's sex hang-ups

Wed, 07 Mar 2018 10:00:00 +0000

Tom's got BIG NEWS and Tucker pulls defeat from the jaws of success.

Hitting it, quitting it and actively flirting

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 10:00:00 +0000

"Have I gone too far immediately?"

Tucker and Tom both score dates and immediately find themselves in over their heads.

Tom's desperate quest on hookup app Pure

Wed, 21 Feb 2018 10:00:00 +0000

While using the hookup app Pure to finally have sex with a real human being for a change, Tom finds himself in a dark situation.

"Oh god, what are we doing?"

Wed, 14 Feb 2018 10:00:00 +0000

Your introduction to Tucker and Tom, two guys just trying their best.