The Virtual Couch

It's Time to Start Your Own Podcast! Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 and Monica Packer of About Progress Discuss Podcast U!

Tue, 08 Sep 2020 13:01:00 +0000

Rachel Nielson, host of the 3 in 30 Takeaways For Mom’s Podcast (https://3in30podcast.com/) and Monica Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast (https://aboutprogress.com/) join Tony to talk podcasting, specifically, what it takes to start your own podcast. Rachel and Monica have created Podcast U, an online course to help teach people how to start and grow impactful podcasts. To learn more about Podcast U please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/18731/NSZ9J5wB or if you simply want to test the waters by signing up for the free classes that they mention on the podcast, please click here https://www.podcastu.co/a/33963/NSZ9J5wB

In this episode, Rachel, Monica, and Tony talk about the challenges of starting a podcast, from the inevitable “impostor syndrome” that plagues so many wanna-be podcasters, to the minefield of knowing what equipment to purchase, what to do with the audio files you create, and how to stay consistent with a message that means something to you. They share early struggles, as well as successes and talk about the challenges of booking guests, monetization, and what to do when the guests and/or equipment aren’t cooperating. You can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/QoQguqGyOjY (and please take a moment to subscribe to the YouTube channel if you don't mind).

Please subscribe to The Virtual Couch YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/c/TheVirtualCouchPodcast/ and sign up at http://tonyoverbay.com to learn more about Tony’s upcoming “Magnetic Marriage” program!

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.

You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Hold On to Your Hippocampus - The Impact of Narcissistic Abuse On The Brain

Tue, 01 Sep 2020 21:04:27 +0000

It’s true that the diagnosis of narcissism is being handed out a bit too liberally, but this toxic personality disorder definitely does exist, with some experts saying that it's clearly becoming more prevalent with each generation. There is a growing body of research that now shows how long-term narcissistic abuse affects the hippocampus, and the amygdala of the brain, areas that regulate memory, and control emotion. And while someone may not be your classic, malicious or malignant narcissist (there are several sub-types of narcissism), even someone with narcissistic tendencies, or “dustings” can do emotional, and physical damage to those they interact with. Tony also gives his 5 tips to surviving narcissistic abuse. Tony refers to the article “Neuroscience: The shocking impact narcissistic abuse has on the brain,” by Lachlan Brown from https://hackspirit.com/3859-2/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Kick Those Bad Habits to the Curb...and No White Knuckling It!

Tue, 25 Aug 2020 13:57:45 +0000

It's time to break some old habits and create some new ones...the good kind! Tony covers Richard Jerome's Realsimple.com article "Yes, You Can Kick That Bad Habit!" https://apple.news/AmpZULFi8QkCRuwgWAWaDQQ Are you "addicted" to your phone? Have you ever found yourself mindlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook thinking "just 3 more seconds and I'll exit," again and again and again? And how many days does it truly take to create a new habit (hint, it's not 21 days!)? Jerome covers how our habits evolved, how to "hack" the habit center of the brain, and why "white-knuckling" addiction doesn't work.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair - The Trilogy (Pt3)

Tue, 18 Aug 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Tony covers items 11 through 14 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from the therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: If you’re going to say yes to someone, then say yes enthusiastically...don’t play the martyr, “well, I guess you can go with your friend, but I’m not happy about it!” Playing the martyr does nothing to improve the relationship, but it definitely pushes those around us away! Learn to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war with unproductive people, thoughts, and even stories that your own brain is telling you. One of the most powerful ways to disengage from unproductive thoughts, conversations, and people is to simply step back and say, “huh, I’ll have to give that some thought?” Wish others well, it’s that simple...while we mourn with those who mourn, we can also rejoice with those who are rejoicing! And finally, things aren’t typically as bad as you think...go to the party, drop something off at your neighbors...Tony goes in depth with his understanding of how the brain simply wants to relax and expend as little energy as possible in hopes of living forever...bless your brains little, pink, squishy heart!

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Julie Lee, Author of "I See You" How Compassion and Connection Save Lives

Tue, 11 Aug 2020 13:20:09 +0000

Tony welcomes Julie Lee, author of “I See You” back to The Virtual Couch. Julie talks about the surprising series of events that led to the writing of her book, “I See You” and discussed the challenges of completing the book while the world turned upside down through quarantine and the uncertainty of the pandemic. Julie talks about why interacting with, and truly seeing those around you is so important for not only the mental health of the individual but also for the collective mental health of society. Julie and Tony talk about a touching moment during Julie’s first appearance on the Virtual Couch where they talked about how important it is for people to feel seen and understood before getting to a point where they begin to feel hopeless. Julie’s book is available now on Amazon https://amzn.to/33N957S or you can purchase directly through Julie’s publisher here https://www.cedarfort.com/collections/julie-lee-collection use coupon code PRE15 for 15% off (and I personally purchased the version with the I See You bracelet!). You can also learn more about Julie including her podcast, I See You at http://julieleespeaks.com

Tony’s new website is live! Please go to http://tonyoverbay.com now and sign up for the newsletter to be the first to hear of his upcoming Magnet Marriage course!

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Human/Sex Trafficking, How to Protect Your Family with Leonard, Former Inmate

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 12:44:48 +0000

Tony interviews Leonard, a former inmate, and medical professional, who was recently released from jail where he learned a tremendous amount of information on how to protect our children from the dangers of human trafficking. While in jail, Leonard, a father himself, learned from people imprisoned for the crimes of human trafficking, about the specifics of who and how they target through social media, from Facebook and Instagram to Kik and Snapchat. Leonard wanted to share the information that he learned in an effort to help spread the word about how many unsuspecting teens are being groomed, sometimes right underneath their parents seemingly watchful eyes, by very intentional, manipulative, organized individuals who pose as peers leading, at times, to ultimately devastating consequences. In the episode Tony mentioned the organization Stand Up Placer (www.standupplacer.org/) If you are a victim of Human Trafficking, or believe you may be involved in a potential Human Trafficking situation, please call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at (888) 373-7888 or you can visit humantraffickinghotline.org/ You can also find information there if you are interested in learning more about how you can help fight Human Trafficking.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair The B-sides

Tue, 04 Aug 2020 13:40:32 +0000

Tony covers 7 through 10 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: Let’s assume that people don’t wake up and think “What can I do today to hurt my partner?” Working from that assumption, you’re in a much better position to see that person with empathy, instead of from the depths of your bunker. Also, “to be heard is to be healed,” we all want to know that we matter to someone, that they are there for us, that somebody has our backs. And finally, nobody likes to be “should on,” including our own brains (which is why telling yourself NOT to think about a pink elephant with wings...wearing a tutu causes you to do the exact opposite...you’re thinking about it right now aren’t you!?). Tony also tells the “story of two couples,” both come to therapy after traumatic events and one year later how different each couple looks based on the work that they did over the past year.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Everything I've Learned From The Therapist Chair: Side 1

Tue, 28 Jul 2020 13:47:15 +0000

Tony covers items 1 through 6 of his ever-growing list of “Everything I Know,” aka all of the things he’s learned from his therapist’s chair. In today’s episode he covers: What if you’re NOT broken (ACT vs CBT), You’re the only version of YOU so far on the Earth (at least as far as you know), Why it is imperative to seek first to understand before being understood (and who said that Paul of New Testament times, or Stephen Covey?), Is “Pure Empathy” attainable? And why it is so important to own your own...stuff, life, shiz-am, truth, actions, or d) all of the above?

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Keys to Fixing a Broken Heart

Tue, 21 Jul 2020 22:21:00 +0000

Don’t you know that breaking up, is, hard to do? Hopefully you were singing that to the tune of the Neal Sedaka hit of the same name that was first released in 1960? And Sedaka wasn’t the first to use the phrase to express just how difficult it can be to move on not only from a relationship that has simply grown apart, but even from a relationship that many would view as toxic, or trauma bonded. In this episode Tony shares why it can be so hard to move on from a relationship and what one can do to make the process easier. Tony refers to the TED Talk “How to Fix a Broken Heart” by psychologist Guy Winch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0GQSJrpVhM

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How To Respond To Someone In Need

Tue, 14 Jul 2020 13:48:26 +0000

What do you say when somebody turns to you in their time of need? It may sound simple, but in reality, there’s a chance that your thoughts and phrases of support may leave someone feeling unheard and even more alone. In today’s episode, Tony shares how to truly listen, and be there for somebody who has recently gone through a traumatic event...from learning of a spouses infidelity to losing a loved one, or a job, the ability to truly listen, and empathize will go a long way toward helping one heal, as well as strengthening your bond with the person who initially turned to you for help. Tony references Jessi Beyer’s article “Things NOT to Say to Someone…” https://jessibeyerinternational.com/things-not-to-say-trauma-healing/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How Trauma Impacts Us All - The Body Keeps The Score Review Pt1

Tue, 07 Jul 2020 13:35:01 +0000

Tony reviews the life-changing book The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. https://amzn.to/2VUcMEd “Trauma is a fact of life…one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent over three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.” In part 1 of many episodes on the subject, Tony talks in depth about what trauma is, how it effects our attachment styles and kids, and how that can complicate our lives, and relationships as adults.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Emotions Aren't The Boss Of You! Using Expansion To Master Anger, Fear, Sadness and More

Tue, 30 Jun 2020 23:39:02 +0000

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear, loneliness…any one of these emotions can cause one to feel off their game to the point that they may start singing the familiar, yet destructive “what’s wrong with me?” tune. Even more profound is the old saying “You will not be punished for your (fill in any of the emotions above), you will be punished by your (fill in the same emotion).” So what is one supposed to do with emotions that can cause so much pain, and destruction? The answer is actually quite simple...acknowledge them, “hey fear, I see you, how are you doing? You’re welcome to come along with me while I get some things done...I’m tired of fighting with you, so we’re going to try something different!” And that is what we call expansion, or making room for our emotions. Studies show that learning how to make room for our emotions, learning how to “drop the rope of the tug-of-war” with our emotions is a FAR more effective way to deal with them and can lead to greater joy and happiness.

In this episode, you’ll learn more about the practice of expansion, or making room for your feelings, from the book The Confidence Gap, by Russ Harris https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1

The Confidence Gap is a fantastic book that clearly and easily teaches the concepts of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Is Your Mess Causing Your Stress?

Tue, 23 Jun 2020 17:45:47 +0000

Take a quick look around your room, your office, or even your car. What do you see? Do you find yourself staring at the same piles of paper, or half-completed projects that you've been working around for days weeks or even months? Do you feel a constant "low key" feeling of anxiety when you're in a messy room? And what if company suddenly decides to stop by? Do you panic, or party? If you’re feeling even a tiny bit of stress even thinking about the areas of your life where there may be an excessive amount of clutter, you’re not alone. In this episode, Tony references the article “A Cluttered House is a Cluttered Mind,” by Erin Cullum, as well as the article “Why Mess Causes Stress: 8 Reasons, 8 Remedies,” by Sherrie Bourg Carter Psy.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies

Tony also references the article “No Place Like Home: Home Tours Correlate With Daily Patterns of Mood and Cortisol” by Saxbe and Repetti https://undecidedthebook.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/saxbe-repetti-pspb-2010.pdf

Tony's interview on Shawn Rapier’s Latter-Day Lives can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/latter-day-lives-talking-with-latter-day-saints/id1262984796?i=1000479049886

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

How to Avoid Drama...Are you a Persecutor, a Rescuer or a Victim? Understanding the Karpman Drama Triangle

Tue, 16 Jun 2020 13:22:52 +0000

For most of us, we will do almost anything to avoid drama, even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships. Yet at times, even the most mindful person may find themselves feeling like a victim who has no voice. While on other occasions, when seeing someone being picked on, we may attempt to rescue someone in that same victim role. And even crazier still, we may occasionally find ourselves trying to teach, or lecture or punish those who we feel are playing the role of the martyr, or victim. Stephen Karpman, M.D. identified these three roles, The Victim, The Persecutor, and The Rescuer, as part of what has become known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle.” Understand the drama triangle can not only help you recognize the negative roles that we tend to gravitate to in strong, emotion-filled interactions, aka “drama,” but also how to get out of these unhealthy situations.

Tony references a wonderful summary of the Karpman Drama Triangle by Linda Graham, MFT which can be found here https://lindagraham-mft.net/triangle-victim-rescuer-persecutor-get/ And for more information on Transactional Analysis (mentioned in the episode) click here https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/transactional-analysis.html

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Why Can it Be So Difficult To Understand The Plight of Others? Understanding The Ego

Tue, 09 Jun 2020 05:48:04 +0000

Right now we need to be able to listen, empathize and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever...but why can that be so difficult at times? Even when many people stop to listen, why do their brains immediately go to, "yeah, I hear you, but you don't understand my..." Whatever comes after the "but" or "my" in conversations tends to be an "empathy-killer" at a time when we truly need to increase our empathy skills! Welcome to your Ego!

In today's episode, Tony refers to an article by Mark Leary, Ph.D. Dr. Leary is the Garonzik Family Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. In his article What Is The Ego and Why Is It So Involved In My Life https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life Dr. Leary does a wonderful job at explaining our egos, and why it can be so difficult to step outside of one's self and truly listen to others. Tony takes Dr. Leary's thoughts on ego and shares some things that you can do immediately after listening to move forward with an increased amount of empathy.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Coach Charles Gazaway on Mentoring Youth, Race in Sports and Surviving a Kidney/Pancreas Transplant - BONUS Episode

Fri, 05 Jun 2020 15:01:08 +0000

In light of all of the events of the past week surrounding the horrific death of George Floyd and the protests and demands for change that have sprung forth from this senseless tragedy, I found myself contemplating my own views on privilege, race relations, empathy for my fellow brothers and sisters and how our views are formed, how they can change for the better. A large part of my own change has been through my relationship with Coach Charles Gazaway, who I interviewed on The Virtual Couch podcast back in June of 2018.

In preparation for the episode at that time, I had reached out to the exclusively white parents of the basketball team that Coach Charles had been coaching for a few years at that time. There were wonderful comments from parents about teaching the kids hard work, determination, etc., but there were several comments by parents about Coach teaching that we're all brothers and sisters, and that basketball was a vehicle to bring kids together from all races to work, as one, for a common goal. Coach is the major reason my son now has a very tight, close-knit group of black friends who love him as the brother that he is to them.

From the episode’s original description “Coach Charles Gazaway is a former professional basketball player from, as he puts it, “the hood, the inner city,” of Oakland. Coach started coaching my son, and a group of “lily white kids” from the suburbs almost 6 years ago and has taught them more about life, and people, through the game of basketball, than I could have ever imagined. A year and a half ago Coach suffered a serious medical setback temporarily losing his sight due to complications of diabetes, but he continued to coach through a kidney and pancreas transplant. He’s an amazing mentor, and role model to not just the kids, but to the parents as well. Coach led his team, in Cinderella-story-like fashion to qualify for the California games in San Diego.” As mentioned in the intro, you’ll hear a reference to donating for a trip to San Diego for the boys...that trip is long gone, but if you would like to donate to a charity of Coach Charles’ choice, you can do so here: PayPal.Me/TheVirtualCouch

I also reference a wonderful article titled: What Can I Say to an African American Friend as Anger Rises by Terry Porter of the Cleveland Plain Dealer, you can find that article here https://www.cleveland.com/news/2020/06/what-can-i-say-to-an-african-american-friend-as-anger-rises-faith-you.html

Our original interview in its entirety (with two old sponsors that I believe no longer exist...they were edited out of this new recording) can be viewed on YouTube here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0fOAjYhxJw&t=1s

#coach Charles Gazaway #kidneytransplant #pancreastransplant #survivor on #coaching youth, #aaubasketball and on being a #mentor Coach Charles uses #basketball to teach valuable skills on #race and #racerelations to kids. #rolemodel #blacklivesmatter

Monica Packer, Host of About Progress, On Battling Through Perfectionism and Procrastination

Tue, 02 Jun 2020 04:12:06 +0000

From her website, http://aboutprogress.com, Monica Packer is a recovering perfectionist, a podcaster, and a Progress Coach. She also has a very successful online program that helps people create their first podcast called Podcast U along with fellow Podcaster and former Virtual Couch guest Rachel Nielson of 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Monica "saves women from themselves, by helping them ditch perfectionism, step into their gifts, and move towards real progress." And while sometimes phrases like these can sound a tad bit ambiguous, just give Monica a few minutes, and you'll be hooked. Monica is one of the most real, authentic people that I've met, and in this interview, she lays all of her baggage out on the table for everybody to see. I guarantee you'll find some challenges that you've most likely struggled with yourself on that table and Monica will help you understand what to do to start to deal with that baggage and move forward in a healthy, empowering way.

Monica discusses her struggles with perfectionism, anxiety, depression, an eating disorder, and her constant battle with impostor syndrome as she strives to help people take a look in the mirror and not only own their own lives but understand that it's OK to find yourself far from perfect. You can find Tony's encore episode on Monica's About Progress podcast here https://aboutprogress.com/how-to-stop-hating-yourself/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Stages of Life, Stages of Faith, Stages of Change!

Wed, 27 May 2020 15:19:19 +0000

In the 1980s James Fowler, Professor of Theology and Human Development at Emory University and director of both the Center for Research on Faith and Moral Development and the Center for Ethics wrote a book called Stages of Faith. Fowler’s work compared the stages that one may go on in their faith journey, transition, or crisis with the stages of cognitive and moral development proposed by noted Psychologists Jean Piaget and Lawrence Kohlberg. Fowler’s work has resonated with many people who find themselves feeling lost, abandoned, or angry at their faith communities as they begin to develop their own sense of self as they gradually mature into adulthood.

Tony began working with Fowler’s stages of faith over a decade ago in helping people with their own faith journeys and quickly found himself seeing one client a week going through the process to several a week to now several each day. In this episode, Tony shares his thoughts on how Fowler’s stages of faith can easily be applied as “stages of life,” ultimately helping people recognize that there truly isn’t anything broken, or wrong with them because of their beliefs, and the sooner one can recognize where their own belief system, values, and goals come from the sooner these same beliefs, values, and goals can become embraced and life can truly be lived from a more authentic, empowered state!

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Stop Running From Uncomfortable Thoughts, Feelings and Emotions...How to Face the “Fear Trap”

Tue, 19 May 2020 13:03:51 +0000

No one likes to feel bad...or sad, or afraid or anxious or uncertain, or so many other uncomfortable feelings. And what do you do when you start thinking unproductive thoughts? Sure, you can tell yourself to “just stop thinking about them!” But what happens when your mind seems to, well, have a mind of its own? In today’s episode, Tony tackles a chapter in Russ Harris’ book The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2z0SjW1 called “The Fear Trap,” and answers the question “what is fear?” And what we can do when strong emotions cause us to turn to unhealthy substances (drugs, alcohol, compulsive sexual behaviors, gambling) go into autopilot mode (at the mercy of our emotions), avoidance mode (do whatever we can to avoid unpleasant feelings), distraction, thinking strategies (just don’t worry about it, think happy thoughts!) or opting out of situations entirely?

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Attorney Paul Hoybjerg On Recognizing and Addressing Emotional, Sexual and Physical Abuse

Thu, 14 May 2020 13:33:34 +0000

Attorney, and friend, Paul Hoybjerg joins Tony to talk about how we can better protect our children from sexual abuse. Paul is a partner in a Sacramento, California law firm who represents victims of sexual abuse, and negligence. Paul shares his story of how his own experience as a victim of negligence at birth led him to understand from a very young age when someone in a position of trust doesn’t act the way they should, and how there can be long-lasting, and sometimes devastating consequences. Even if you or your children have not been the victims of sexual abuse, this is a very important episode to listen to as Paul and Tony discuss ways that abusers groom, what to watch out for to assess for abuse, and how to have conversations with those you may believe to have been victims of abuse. Paul and Tony also talk about what to do if one has experienced abuse as a child, or teenager. You can watch this video on The Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/tKENPPQDmLM Paul welcomes questions at abuseattorney@gmail.com.

Tony references Paul’s appearance on Richard Ostler’s Listen, Learn and Love Podcast, that episode can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-261-paul-hoybjerg-protecting-children-from-abuse/id1347971725?i=1000471918919

There are only a few days left to sign up for Nate Bagley’s “Epic Wives Experiment!” Visit http://tonysexperiment.com for more information, registration ends at midnight, May 17th. Nate is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. Tony’s recent interview with Nate can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/nate-bagley-relationship-researcher-on-epic-wives-experiment/id1275153998?i=1000473882148

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Elephant and the Rider, the Key to Managing Behavior, and Emotions

Tue, 12 May 2020 13:33:40 +0000

Do you ever feel like you’re simply not in control of your emotions? You’re not alone. At times we may feel like our emotions are charging forward like a 6-ton elephant! And we’re simply the rider, trying out best to guide or control the elephant but without much success. But there is hope! Today Tony discusses the popular analogy The Elephant and the Rider, where our emotional part of the brain is represented by the elephant, and the logical, or rational part of our brain is played by the rider. Understanding this analogy can often lead to a little more understanding of how to quickly take control of our emotional response, and guide new behaviors.

Tony references the article The Elephant and the Rider https://www.creativehuddle.co.uk/the-elephant-and-the-rider as well as Itamar Goldminz’s article Advise the Rider, Steer the Elephant and Shape the Path (Heath) https://medium.com/org-hacking/advise-the-rider-steer-the-elephant-and-shape-the-path-heath-153b12003436 and he reads Marianne Williamson’s poem “Our Deepest Fear,” https://www.personalgrowthcourses.net/stories/williamson.ourdeepestfear.invitation and Tony reads from The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk https://amzn.to/3fIxBdW

Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Nate Bagley, Relationship Researcher on The Epic Wives Experiment

Thu, 07 May 2020 13:55:00 +0000

Nate Bagley is a relationship researcher, and his goal is to rid the world of mediocre love. Nate’s work has been published by ABC, the Gottman Institute, The Good Men Project, Good Morning America, NBC, and more and with his latest project, The Epic Wives Experiment, he wants to help your marriage, and help it NOW! In The Epic Wives Experiment, he promises, nay, guarantees that in 4 weeks you’ll have more support, connection, and love in your marriage. In today’s mini-episode Tony interviews Nate to find out a little bit more about Nate’s background, and what led him to create The Epic Wives Experiment. For more information visit http://tonysexperiment.com registration for the Epic Wives Experiment ends at midnight on May 17th.
Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!
This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.
Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo
Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.
You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Episode 200! Tony Tells All...Baseball, Boating Accidents and the Tiger King!

Tue, 05 May 2020 06:00:00 +0000

To celebrate the 200th episode of The Virtual Couch Podcast, former guest and author Joshua Shea (Tony's co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions) interviews Virtual Couch podcast host Tony Overbay. Tony shares about a tragic accident shortly after high school graduation that derailed a promising college athletic career, his 10 years in the computer software industry, what led him to change careers to therapy, and how that change has impacted his role as a father and husband. Tony talks about many of the things he’s learned over the years as a therapist that has changed his life for the better, and he gives advice on what he feels is holding most people back from achieving their dreams.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Much Ado About Anxiety, and Why Ignoring Anxiety Only Makes It Angry!

Tue, 28 Apr 2020 12:46:35 +0000

Most likely you don't even have to start thinking about all of the stressors in your life right now to feel that familiar pang of anxiety. Does your heart feel like it’s going to beat right through your chest? Or do you feel like a dozen or more kittens are kneading their tiny claws against the inner lining of your stomach? Do you get migraines that cause you to want to bury your head under a pillow for hours, or do you feel tightness in your lower back or shoulders? The body is trying to tell you something, but do you know what to do with the information that it’s sharing with you? Should you avoid the feelings? Will giving in to them cause you to feel worse?

In today’s episode, Tony works off of the https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323454 article “What to know about anxiety,” to give an exhaustive overview of anxiety including what the body is trying to tell you. What types of therapy and medication tend to work the best with anxiety, how does mindfulness, and meditation help reduce anxiety, and why is it so difficult to simply tell myself to be happy, to stop thinking anxious thoughts, and stop feeling anxious feelings (hint, trying to control the mind can often make symptoms even worse!).

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Quarantine Kids Are Back! Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Life In Quarantine Featuring Tony’s Family!

Tue, 21 Apr 2020 06:00:00 +0000

Tony welcomes his wife (that’s right, for the first time in 198 episodes Tony’s wife Wendy joins the podcast!) along with his oldest daughter Alexa, 22, and her husband Mitch, 23, his daughter Mackie, who has appeared two previous times on The Virtual Couch, along with nephew Connor to discuss life in quarantine, online schooling, and what the effects of a lack of schedule look like in the areas of sleep, food, and motivation. If any of you are feeling like you’re alone either as the person in quarantine or wondering if the way your family is acting is “normal” during this unprecedented time, this episode may just have your answers.-

Alexa Lovell, 22, is in her junior year at BYU-Idaho and is studying Diagnostic Medical Sonography and she currently works as a certified lash technician in Idaho, she can be reached to book appointments through her Instagram account @lovell.lashes. Her husband, Mitch Lovell is beginning his senior year at BYU-Idaho studying Biomedical Science and has his sights set on dental school. Alex and Mitch have been married for one year this week! McKinley (Mackie) Overbay, 20, is a sophomore at BYU-Idaho and is almost a year into cosmetology school at Paul Mitchell in Rexburg, ID (IG @beautybymackie) and nephew Connor Furgeson, 25, is a senior at BYU majoring in neuroscience. Wendy Overbay and Tony have been married for 29 years and have 2 other children, Sydney, 18, a senior in high school, and Jake, 16, currently a high school sophomore.-

Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS Narcissism 101 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Thu, 16 Apr 2020 13:56:00 +0000

There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. Many people in powerful positions, i.e. politicians, actors, CEOs of large companies, appear to be impervious to the thoughts of others, often being praised for their ability to put their heads down and power through, letting nothing get in their way. And while this may get them ahead in their chosen professions, it can be absolutely devastating to their relationships, often leaving massive destruction in their wake. Sexual harassment allegations are everywhere, and many of the accused appear to lack complete awareness of the significance of their accusations or of the feelings of their victims. Many of these traits are classic symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). In this episode Tony takes a deep dive into NPD, it’s symptomatology, and how to work with a narcissist.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Sleep Or Stress, Which Came First? Tips to Lowering Cortisol Levels for Better Sleep

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 13:32:00 +0000

Day is night, night is day! For most of us, we need a bit of a reason to get out of bed in the morning, whether it's heading to a job, getting the kids ready for school, or to head to an early exercise class at the gym, or meet a friend for breakfast. Unfortunately with the "shelter in place" order still in place, and social distancing the norm many people are finding themselves sleeping in later and later, which equates to staying up to the wee hours of the morning with almost no end in sight. What role does this play on our mental health? Is there a correlation between irregular sleep and common sleep disorders like insomnia and sleep apnea? And what can we do to lower cortisol levels so we can have a more "normal" sleep schedule? Today Tony talks about irregular sleep patterns and then dives deep into the role of cortisol, the stress hormone, and how it affects sleep, and common sleep disorders such as insomnia and sleep apnea, or perhaps how sleep affects the release of cortisol.

Tony reviews Dr. Michael Breus' article from Psychologytoday.com "The Connection Between Cortisol and Sleep Disorders." https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sleep-newzzz/202004/the-connection-between-cortisol-and-sleep-disorders Dr. Michael Breus' ask "The Sleep Doctor" can be found at http://thesleepdoctor.com and he also references the website Neuroscientificallychallenged.com https://www.neuroscientificallychallenged.com/glossary/hpa-axis

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Couples Communication Tune Up Time! More Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for Couples

Tue, 07 Apr 2020 12:59:51 +0000

As we continue to shelter in place, quarantine, spend more time in closed quarters with our loved ones, the need for productive communication is even more important. That's why Tony felt it imperative to dust off the basics of psychologist Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples. EFT is the evidence-based couples communication model that shows 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery in their relationships and approximately 90% show significant improvements.-Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to HTTP://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee!-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

It's Going To Be OK! Managing Worry and Doubt During Distressing Times

Tue, 31 Mar 2020 15:27:03 +0000

If you're human, you've experienced worry. But sometimes it can be more difficult than others to set those worries aside and continue doing what you need to do to move ahead in your life. In today's episode, Tony discusses the article "I'm a psychologist, and these are my top 8 tips for distracting yourself from overwhelming worry" by Erin Bunch from Wellandgood.com. https://www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/how-to-stop-worrying-about-things-you-cant-control/

COMING SOON Tony's FREE PARENTING CLASS/VIRTUAL SESSION "Parenting Positively Even in the Not So Positive of Times!" Go to tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to be the first to learn how to get this FREE parenting program that will help you immediately understand more about these tiny, or sometimes not so tiny, humans that can play such a major role in our happiness and well being.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The Invisible Gorilla And Other Fascinating Psychological Experiments

Tue, 24 Mar 2020 13:41:37 +0000

Can memories be implanted? What would you do if smoke began billowing from underneath a door and everyone around you acted like nothing unusual was happening? And could you spot a gorilla running across the screen while you were focusing on people passing a ball between one another? Most of us, if not ALL of us would most likely say that we'd run out of the room, or that we'd absolutely notice the gorilla...yet according to the data, that's not always the case.-In this episode, Tony reviews 5 fascinating experiments from the BoredPanda.com article "28 Psychological Experiments That Revealed Incredible And Uncomfortable Truths About Ourselves" by James Caunt https://www.boredpanda.com/psychology-behaviour-experiments/-This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.-And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free parenting "virtual session" called Tips for Parenting Positively During The Not So Positive of Times.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.--You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Decreasing Anxiety During Anxious Times w/Dr. Mary Wilde

Fri, 20 Mar 2020 11:53:53 +0000

Dr. Mary Wilde is a board-certified pediatrician, author, and mother of 8 who spends a lot of her time helping people decrease anxiety during anxious times. It’s fair to say that with the continuing information regarding COVID-19 coming from all angles these are truly anxious times. So what can you do to keep your own anxiety and fear in check? How does grounding yourself help put you in a better position to help those around you, your family, your children? And can a little bit of anxiety actually be good for you? In today’s episode of The Virtual Couch, Dr. Mary gives a brief overview of this latest coronavirus, COVID-19, and gives suggestions on ways that we can talk to our kids about all the changes and uncertainty in the world.

Dr. Mary also gives some great advice on how to make the most of the downtime not only for yourself but also for your family. She gives specific examples of how to use an integrative approach, tapping into your mind, your body and your spirit to help decrease anxiety during these anxious times. Dr. Mary has a WEALTH of resources and her own program for lessening anxiety on her website https://drmarywilde.com/home-page and you can find several links that she referenced during this episode below.

This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight.

And please go to http://tonyoverbay.com today and sign up now to receive more information on Tony’s upcoming free workshop on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), ACT can help you truly focus on what is important to YOU, it will help keep you not only present, able to be there for yourself, your family and your loved ones during even the most uncertain times, but it can also help you make solid decisions moving forward that can help bring you a tremendous sense of purpose.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Overcoming Childhood Anxiety" for kids, teens, & parents with Dr. Mary Wilde--an 8-week online course teaching mind, body, spirit strategies for dealing with anxiety & more https://drmarywilde.com/anxiety-courses

Free ADHD 5-Challenge with Dr. Mary Wilde and Dr. Lara Honos-Webb: a strength-based approach to ADHD w/ bonus session on optimizing the home learning environment during lockdown https://drmarywilde.com/ADHD-challenge

Free ebook by Dr. Mary Wilde "Your Road to Calm: Stress Detox for the Modern Family" https://drmarywilde.com/ebook-optin

Other resources:

CDC Website: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2Findex.html

WHO Website: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019

Washington Post article explaining social distancing: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2020/world/corona-simulator/

BrainsOn Podcast to Help Explain How Coronavirus is Spread: https://www.brainson.org/shows/2020/03/10/understanding-coronavirus-and-how-germs-spread-for-kids

Free resource to help kids learn to use imagery to reduce anxiety: http://imaginaction.stanford.edu/

Yoga Channel for young kids: https://www.youtube.com/user/CosmicKidsYoga

Mindfulness Meditation with Dr. Tara Brach https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation-the-rain-of-self-compassion/ and a free half-day retreat resource for parents (If you have a parenting partner, take turns!) https://www.tarabrach.com/create-home-retreat/

Online scripture (Comment in the show notes to suggest others!)

Old Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/ot?lang=eng

New Testament https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt?lang=eng

Torah https://www.sefaria.org/texts

Quran https://quran.com/?local=en

Do I Really Need More TP or Bottled Water? Aka "If Everybody Else is Doing it, Shouldn't I?"

Mon, 16 Mar 2020 16:26:03 +0000

With things changing rapidly thanks to the spread of COVID-19 and the Coronavirus, it is becoming increasingly more difficult to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and for how long? But one thing that remains a constant amidst the chaos is people are flocking to stores for their toilet paper and bottled water...even when they have plenty already on hand, or have filtered water on hand via their taps or refrigerators! Why do we tend to follow the crowd even when we aren’t entirely sure that following them is exactly what works for us personally?

In today’s episode Tony explores why we tend to follow crowds, and whether or not it’s always a good idea? Tony uses Jeremy Nicholson Ph.D.’s article “Should You Do What Everyone Else is Doing” https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/persuasion-bias-and-choice/201903/should-you-do-what-everyone-else-is-doing along with “The Science Behind Why People Follow the Crowd” By Rob Henderson

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/after-service/201705/the-science-behind-why-people-follow-the-crowd as the outline for this episode. And you can watch this episode (audio AND video) on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel here https://youtu.be/ypUPYth00RY please take just a second to subscribe while you're there.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"

Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.

The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Coronavirus Rule #1...Don't Touch Your Face! Why Can't You NOW Stop Touching Your Face? Thought Suppression & Rebound Behaviors

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 12:44:08 +0000

With the continued information about the coronavirus coming in almost by the minute, two things have remained consistent...wash your hands long enough to sing the ABC song AND don't touch your face! But for most, simply telling one to not touch their face leads to more face touching, oftentimes significantly more than they would have had they never been instructed to not touch their face in the first place! Why is it so hard to stop touching our faces...no touchy!!! In this episode, Tony tackles the reasons why thought suppression not only doesn't work, but it actually makes the situation worse! Tony references the NBC News article, "Try not to touch your face. Also, try not to think about touching your face." by Kalhan Rosenblatt https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/social-media/try-not-touch-your-face-also-try-not-think-about-n1150161 as well as the Psychology Today article "Don't Think About It: Thought Suppression Causes Behavior Rebound" by Ira Hyman Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mental-mishaps/201009/dont-think-about-it-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Living with a Narcissistic Parent - Tina Fuller, Author of "It's My Turn"

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 15:27:36 +0000

Author Tina Fuller joins Tony to talk about her book "It's My Turn" https://amzn.to/2ImIMtk which details her experiences in growing up with a narcissistic mother. The interview covers personality disorders, signs of narcissism, and the negative effects of growing up the child of a narcissistic parent. Tina also shares how to heal from the issues that arise from being raised by a narcissist. Tina can be contacted through her website www.narcissism-answers.com/ Tina also runs a very robust Facebook group with over 55,000 followers called Narcissistic Parent Answers https://www.facebook.com/Narcissistic-Parent-Answers-140962406067146/

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Psychological Reactance...You Don't Need to Listen To This Episode, Actually I Wouldn't If I Were You!

Mon, 02 Mar 2020 17:56:28 +0000

Simply put, psychological reactance is the instantaneous response that we have when we're told what to do. In business it is often called "change resistance" and in parenting, it's typically referred to as, well, "kids!" Reactance can also be described as "reverse psychology." But why does it flow from us so instantaneously? Why, in some situations, can someone even be telling us something that would ultimately be for our benefit but we feel a need to lash out with a firm "no, you don't understand, that won't work for me?" And per Tony's early admonition on this episode, you can skip to 9 mins 10 seconds in to skip directly to the discussion on reactance.

Today Tony tackles the topic of psychological reactance and bases the discussion on a couple of interesting articles on the subject. First is an article titled simply "Reactance" from http://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/social-influence/reactance/ and "Don't Tread On Me! Psychological Reactance as Omnipresent" by Ryan Smerek Ph.D. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/learning-work/201712/don-t-tread-me-psychological-reactance-omnipresent

Tony mentioned two recent podcast appearances in the beginning of the episode, you can find his episode "Tony Overbay, Virtual Couch Podcast and Porn Addiction" on Nikki Eisenhauer's Emotional Badass here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tony-overbay-virtual-couch-interview-and-porn-addiction/id1363543523?i=1000467191010 and Tony's interview on Brannon Patrick's new podcast "Ask Brannon Anything" titled "Faith Crisis & Relationships" here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/faith-crisis-relationships/id1500794877?i=1000467024231

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Ginger Elizabeth Hahn, World Renowned Chocolatier on Battling Roadblocks, Postpartum Depression, Fighting Childhood Cancer w/St. Baldricks

Thu, 27 Feb 2020 14:58:00 +0000

When Ginger Hahn, the founder of Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates' daughter was only 6 days old she had an intestinal bypass. According to Ginger, "It was the worst 2 weeks of my life in that hospital. Walking to the cafeteria every day I would walk past the oncology pediatrics wing at Sutter Sacramento. I was grateful to not be on that wing with my baby but so many kids were. I want to do this to give back to those kids who give so much hope and inspiration to others while fighting this terrible disease."-So Ginger is shaving her head with St. Baldrick's to raise money and help conquer kids' cancers and she needs your help! Every 2 minutes a child is diagnosed with cancer worldwide, and 1 in 5 of those in the U.S. will not survive. Ginger said that she refuses to accept this reality, so she's decided to fundraise for lifesaving research to find cures and better treatments for kids. You can help Ginger by donating on her behalf to St. Baldricks here https://www.stbaldricks.org/donate/participant/1058309/2020?amount=50&donation_type=donate_once-In this episode, Ginger talks about balancing a growing business in her 20’s with the demands of motherhood, and her battles with severe postpartum depression, and, at times, crippling anxiety. But Ginger never gave up and found herself needing to open up to others, and learn how to be vulnerable, and seek help, something that didn’t come naturally to a driven, entrepreneur. You can learn more about Ginger, and order her world-famous chocolates at https://gingerelizabeth.com/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

A New Approach to Treating Trauma - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) with Lora Abraham, LCSW

Tue, 25 Feb 2020 23:44:00 +0000

Lora Abraham, LCSW and a former high school classmate of Tony's, uses EMDR to treat clients who present with a variety of types of trauma. What is EMDR? From the EMDR Institute: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. Repeated studies show that by using EMDR therapy people can experience the benefits of psychotherapy that once took years to make a difference. It is widely assumed that severe emotional pain requires a long time to heal. EMDR therapy shows that the mind can in fact heal from psychological trauma much as the body recovers from physical trauma. When you cut your hand, your body works to close the wound. If a foreign object or repeated injury irritates the wound, it festers and causes pain. Once the block is removed, healing resumes. EMDR therapy demonstrates that a similar sequence of events occurs with mental processes. Lora referenced receiving her training in EMDR through the Maiberger Institute https://maibergerinstitute.com/ Anyone seeking more information on EMDR or who are interested in receiving EMDR certification and/or training please visit the Maiberger Institute for more information.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS - Navigating a Faith Journey/Crisis, Fowler’s Stages of Faith, Truth, Beauty, and Goodness

Fri, 21 Feb 2020 14:51:00 +0000

For many, a faith community, or religious congregation, is a safe place to return regularly to be spiritually fed before heading back to an often chaotic world. But what happens when that previously “safe” community begins to feel like a place where one is no longer welcome? Is the problem with the individual, or with the community, or congregation? If you are a parent to someone who is experiencing a faith crisis, what do you do? Are there certain things that you say that seem to trigger emotional responses that appear to come out of nowhere? If you’re the one experiencing the “faith crisis” how do you communicate with your family or faith community?-Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) In Emotionally Abusive/Distant Relationships

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 15:47:56 +0000

Many of us know what Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is, and we associate it with people who have come back from war, or who have experienced traumatic events, or accidents. Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or C-PTSD is a type of PTSD that garnering much more attention lately thanks to all we're learning about the long-term effects of trauma from people in power. Examples of C-PTSD can be found in everything from survivors of sex-trafficking and or survivors of ongoing sexual abuse as a child, to spouses who have lived in emotionally abusive relationships for years, especially those who have found themselves in relationships with a partner exhibiting symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

This episode is based primarily off of the article "Understanding Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder," by Gary Gilles and Kelly Morrell, medically reviewed by Timothy J. Legg, PhD, PsyD from Healthline.com https://www.healthline.com/health/cptsd

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS What If Trying to Choose To Be Happy Isn't Working?

Thu, 13 Feb 2020 19:08:00 +0000

Plenty of well-meaning people in our lives try and motivate us by saying, "Just choose to be happy every day!" But why, then, isn't it that easy? Why when many people try and choose to be happy, do they actually end up feeling worse? If you've ever experienced this, then please know that you're not alone. As a matter of fact, you're in the overwhelming majority of people that struggle with trying to choose happiness, and having it last. In this episode, Tony discusses a couple of studies that back up the fact that positive affirmations typically only work when the person already believes the idea that they are affirming, but when we try using them when we don't believe the affirmation in the first place, that they can leave us feeling more lonely, and depressed. Susan David's book Emotional Agility as well as Russ Harris' The Confidence Gap https://amzn.to/2Hkp5C3 and The Happiness Trap https://amzn.to/2SGRKXd are referenced in this episode.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

She's ALWAYS Late! He NEVER Asks About My Day! What To Do With All or Nothing/Black or White Thinking!

Tue, 11 Feb 2020 14:51:22 +0000

All or nothing...He’s ALWAYS late! She NEVER asks me about my day. The kids will absolutely never, ever, no matter what I say pick up after themselves (OK, that one might actually be true). Do you always find yourself using extreme black and white or all-or-nothing thinking? Are you never able to find the good in a moment and be fully present (see what I did there?). Chances are most of us will find ourselves using black and white, all-or-nothing, or what the American Psychological Association also calls dichotomous or polarized thinking on a fairly regular basis. This type of thinking keeps us from seeing the world as it truly is, wonderfully complex, full of nuances and situations that can be equally frustrating, and exhilarating. In this episode, Tony will refer to the article How Black and White Thinking Hurts You (And What You Can Do to Change it) by Rebecca Joy Stanborough of Healthline https://thriveglobal.com/stories/black-and-white-thinking-damage-communication-psychology-research/-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Where To Begin Today To Drive Change...4 ACT Sessions in One Podcast!

Tue, 04 Feb 2020 14:40:00 +0000

In Dr. Steven Hayes’ book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Dr. Hayes shares some research that shows how quickly you can begin making progress using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). The study evaluated how ACT helped people cope with chronic pain, one of the most difficult conditions to treat. After 4 sessions of ACT, the participants in the study had an 87 percent reduction in medical visits and only missed an average of half a day of work versus the control group who missed weeks of work and attended 15 to 1 doctor's appointments who did not receive the ACT training. I dig deep into what those 4 sessions of ACT consist of, why the sessions are so impactful and how you can incorporate them into your own life as soon as possible.

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

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Dr. Shelly Hoover, Author of Timeless Sisters, ALS Advocate, On Making the Most of Every Moment

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 13:11:51 +0000

Dr. Shelly Hoover is a wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, and friend. She’s a veteran, author, educator, and advocate. It’s what she does. It’s who she is. In 2013, her neurologist told her that she only had two to five years to live. After a year of trying to figure out what was slowly happening to her body, Shelly was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) or Lou Gehrig’s disease. Some call it that Ice Bucket Challenge disease. From shellyhoover.com, “whatever you call it, it’s a fatal diagnosis with no effective treatment or cure. Yet I have much to live for and I’m determined to live in gratitude and joy regardless of circumstance. I feel alive when while I’m encouraging others to live their best life.”

Tony interviews Shelly about their shared experience running around a middle school track to help motivate kids, and raise money for the school, and how to make the event bigger, and better in the future, only to find that a few short months later, Shelly would begin to recognize the initial symptoms of what would eventually be diagnosed as ALS.

Shelly has also written a book, Timeless Sisters, available on Amazon https://amzn.to/38fiMuJ The book is about three strong women, Janene, Cora, and Amadahy, who live in the same North Carolina town centuries apart. Janene, a modern-day high school teacher, loses her career and identity in the face of a devastating illness. Cora, an enslaved person during the Civil War, flees the Yarbrough plantation after her family is murdered. She finds refuge at Mama Hattie’s house only to encounter the killer years later. Amadahy, a Cherokee before the European invasion, loses a child and her husband leaves. She finds an unlikely love while on a river adventure and returns to find trouble at home. A sacred, maternal talisman connects the three women as they search for lasting peace. Follow this fast-paced, emotional journey to the collective sisterhood at the river.

The book has received phenomenal reviews from both critics, and readers alike. You can learn more about Shelly at http://shellyhoover.com

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

BONUS - Do I NEED My Partner For My Own Happiness? Discovering Sue Johnson's Love Sense

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 13:52:00 +0000

One of the popular messages shared by both therapists and media alike is that we are supposed to be in complete control of our own emotions before, or even IF we then turn to others and that it is necessary to love yourself first and only THEN will someone else be able to love you. But according to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of the highly successful evidence-based couples therapy model, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), our new knowledge “stands that message on its head.” Dr. Johnson, in her latest book, Love Sense https://amzn.to/2RYEwq6, The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, says that “we are designed to deal with emotion in concert with another person, not by ourselves.” Tony breaks down attachment issues at their very beginning, when we’re born, and then builds on why it is so important to have a secure attachment as a base to operate from in order to be more successful in navigating the complex world of human relationships. “We have cracked the code of love,” says Dr. Johnson.

-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Hey, How You Feeling? Primary and Secondary Emotions Explained!

Mon, 20 Jan 2020 14:44:22 +0000

Have you ever been scared by a friend? Chances are your first, or primary emotion, was fear! That's perfectly normal, after all, you're human. But what emotion follows after the initial fear response? Do you get angry because your friend scared you? Where did that anger come from? Was it because you were actually embarrassed that you dropped your phone, or that you let out a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush? Those feelings that swoop in immediately after a reaction are typically called your "secondary emotions" and those keep us away from staying in the present moment. Today we explore the world of primary and secondary emotions, and, how learning where they come from will help you better recognize and deal with them in a more healthy, present, way.In this episode, Tony refers to the article "What are Primary and Secondary Emotions" by Nadia Khan first posted on Betterhelp.com https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/general/what-are-primary-and-secondary-emotions/-This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, which includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014-Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Rediscovering the Levels of Intimacy - A Guide to a Better Connection

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 14:06:53 +0000

Physical attraction may be enough to initially bring a couple together but is it enough to sustain a relationship when you feel disconnected emotionally, spiritually, or intellectually? Or how about when you feel like anything you say to each other is a trigger for an argument? Learn how to form a more healthy view of intimacy, beginning with psychological intimacy, verbal intimacy, emotional intimacy and more. Discover how to make physical intimacy the natural byproduct of a strong connection. The content of this episode was initially recorded and aired in 2018 after Tony learned about the Levels of Intimacy from Dr. Kevin Skinner of ADDO Recovery.-

This episode is sponsored by Blubrry Podcasting – Launch your Podcast the Blubrry Way. The Virtual Couch is hosted by Blubrry, and chances are you already have a podcast, or you want to start a podcast. What are you waiting for? Get 30 Days of Blubrry Podcasting FREE, that includes hosting and stats, and a WordPress website if you need one. Publishing is as simple as Create – Upload – Publish. Use the promo code BLU014 to get started today, or simply click on this link and you’ll be a podcasting in no time! https://create.blubrry.com/resources/podcast-media-hosting/?code=Blu014

Tony will be speaking in the Midvale North Stake on Sunday, January 26th in Midvale, UT. His talk is titled "Hang in There! You're Doing Better Than You Think." The talk is free, the address is 97 W 7500 South, Midvale, UT.-Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain And What To Do About It!

Mon, 13 Jan 2020 14:54:00 +0000

In today's episode, Tony tackles the popular article "How Complaining Physically Rewires Your Brain To Be Anxious And Depressed," from the Daily Health Post https://dailyhealthpost.com/complaining-brain-negativity/

Tony will be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".

The Greater Your Storm The Brighter Your Rainbow, An Interview with Social Media Influencer Allison Carlson

Tue, 07 Jan 2020 13:35:00 +0000

Allison Carlson (IG: @allisonbailey1) is more than a social media content creator, aka an “influencer,” she is also a wife, a future doula, a woman who has suffered through multiple difficult miscarriages, a survivor of betrayal, anxiety, depression and cutting, mother to a beautiful “rainbow baby” named Given, and yet someone who is also willing to be open and vulnerable in hopes of making a difference. In today’s episode, Allison shares how her challenges have truly shaped who she is today, and how she is continually finding that balance between living her life and sharing it.

Allison talks about what led her to influencing, and why influencing can carry such negative connotations. She also answers all of the questions that you’ve wanted to ask a successful influencer, like: do you feel like social media has an overall positive or negative effect on today’s society? How do you deal with “haters?” What advice would you give to someone who wants to become an influencer? How often are you approached by companies who want you to represent their products? Do you turn down opportunities to represent companies or products? Do you ever worry about “what’s next?”

Allison mentioned her sister-in-law, Justine, also a successful influencer, who can be found @jacimariesmith on Instagram. And you can watch this interview on YouTube here https://youtu.be/ZwxUGDibIis

Resolutions That Will Stick, No Really - The Redux! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Plus Resolutions = Success!!

Mon, 30 Dec 2019 14:51:49 +0000

It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does setting resolutions, or even talking about resolutions, in general, bring feelings of fear, or excitement? In this episode, I weave acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must drive your goals, or else you’re just giving yourself more rules to follow, and ultimately break. And what are the stories that your brain is trying to get you to hook to so you don’t have to keep your resolutions? In the episode, Tony references a values worksheet from the book The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris. You can find the worksheet here http://thehappinesstrap.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/complete_worksheets_for_The_Confidence_Gap.pdfAnd Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Cha, Cha, Changes! The Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change Model, 6 Steps to Lasting Change!

Thu, 26 Dec 2019 15:48:44 +0000

Tony talks stages of change using the Transtheoretical, or Stages of Change Model referencing an article by Kendra Cherry https://www.verywellmind.com/the-stages-of-change-2794868 Discover the 6 stages of change and where we typically get stuck on the path of changing troublesome or unwanted behaviors.And Tony mentioned he'll be presenting at the Outlier Podcast Festival in Salt Lake City on January 25th, 2020. You can find out more info here: Outlier Podcast Festival | Salt Lake City at The Pod Mill @ 30 South Main Street Salt Lake City UT January 24-25, 2020 http://outlierpodfest.com/ Get a 15% discount to attend the festival by using the discount code "Outlier".Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

A Liberated Mind! What You Need to Start 2020 Strong! 6 Principals of ACT by Dr. Steven Hayes

Wed, 18 Dec 2019 14:56:07 +0000

Tony shares his excitement over one of the founders of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Dr. Steven Hayes' new book A Liberated Mind, How to Pivot Toward What Matters https://amzn.to/34w72BT Tony reviews Dr. Hayes 6 key "pivots" of ACT and how even simply an understanding of these pivots can lead to a fairly immediate pivot toward psychological flexibility, which in turn points you toward a more fulfilling life.Tony also references the "Best of" episode of the Marriage Thereoke Podcast which can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/best-of-season-1/id1435127101?i=1000458823557And he mentions Monica Packer's About Progress Podcast and her re-airing of her favorite episode of 2019, an interview that she did with Tony called "How to Stop Hating Yourself" which can be found here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ap-225-how-to-stop-hating-yourself-with-tony-overbay-encore/id1173416233?i=1000459935015Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

My ADHD (ADD inattentive type) and Me, Frenemies From Waaaay Back Pt 3 of 2

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 08:00:00 +0000

Part 3 of 2 of Tony's discussion of his ADHD (ADD inattentive type) diagnosis. In this episode, Tony goes more into some of the diagnostic criteria including a couple of lists of behaviors often associated with ADD-like symptoms (trust me, it's more entertaining than it sounds!). Even if you don't personally suffer from ADHD, there's a good chance someone in your family does. This episode is designed to help bring a little more awareness of what ADHD can look like, and, better yet, how to use the possible diagnosis as a strength.Tony discusses ADHD vs. ADD from an article on Additude.com a website designed to help take you inside the ADHD mind https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/add-vs-adhd/And he references the following two books, "Driven to Distraction, Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder" by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. https://amzn.to/2syyphe and Dr. Daniel Amen's "Healing ADD Revised Edition: The Breakthrough Program that Allows You to See and Heal the 7 Types of ADD" https://amzn.to/2LWz96MAnd please take a look at Tony's new book, "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.The book answers difficult questions from both the expert, Tony, and the former addict, Tony's co-author Joshua Shea. They answer questions such as: "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Tony Overbay and Joshua Shea Co-Authors of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions"

Wed, 11 Dec 2019 14:53:34 +0000

Tony Overbay, LMFT interviews Joshua Shea about their newly released book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.Tony and Josh talk about what led to the creation of the book, the process of finding a publisher, and then they read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone."Compulsive problematic sexual behavior is riddled with denial and the authors cut through the normal defense mechanisms that occur to keep this problem a secret. They show great empathy for the spouse who naturally wonders "if she wasn't enough." This book cuts to the chase and helps the reader find hope, strength, and recovery throughout the chapters. It is as if you are in the office talking to a counselor and a sex addict and they are reading your minds as a couple who are seeking help for the first time. -- Carol Juergensen Sheets LCSW, CSAT, CCPS, Host of Sex Help With Carol the Coach and Partner Betrayal Recovery podcasts."Joshua's first appearance on The Virtual Couch can be viewed here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7lOtSLz_l4 and his first book The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About is available on Amazon https://amzn.to/2OK6baO and you can learn more about Joshua at http://recoveringpornaddict.comYou can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Get Your Yoga Mat, Robe and Ponytail Ready, We're Explaining Mindfulness Once and For All!

Tue, 03 Dec 2019 13:02:22 +0000

Wait! Don't skip this episode! I know if you're a podcast listener you've no doubt heard therapist and life coach alike gush about the benefits of mindfulness, about meditation, about being present. Well, what does that actually mean? What's the science behind the practice and how do you push through if you've tried it a time or two and felt like it just didn't work for you? In this episode, Tony will reference an article from HappyBrainScience.com by Scott Crabtree that discusses how to truly rewire your brain with a mindfulness practice (https://www.happybrainscience.com/blog/brain-change-rewire-focused-attention/).

And within that article, Crabtree references research of Massachusetts General Hospital conducted by Harvard-affiliated researchers called "Eight Weeks to a Better Brain." (https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2011/01/eight-weeks-to-a-better-brain/). The article specifically discusses how mindfulness has been shown to change the neuropathways of the brain to help with not only being more present but also to express more empathy, improve memory and better handle anxiety and stress.

Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea, "He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions," is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz Joshua Shea also wrote the book "The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships." Joshua's book can be found here https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd

And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Understanding the Narcissistic Trauma Bond, And How to Break Free

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 14:53:19 +0000

In today's episode, Tony takes a deep dive into the article "How the Narcissistic Trauma Bond Ensnares" by Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC. Christine is a two-time former Virtual Couch podcast guest, and host of the popular, and informative podcast "Understanding Today's Narcissist."

In the article, Christine shares the definition of the term trauma bonding, which is loyalty and continued commitment to an abusive person despite the intolerable treatment. In the case of a trauma bonding to a narcissist, there tends to be a persistent denial of the problem even when others bring the evidence to light. She then shares eight ways that people typically find themselves ensnared in the trauma bond. You can find the article here https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2018/02/how-the-narcissistic-trauma-bond-ensnares/

You can learn more about Christine and many of the podcasts, programs, and articles that she has written and produced on the topic of narcissism at https://growwithchristine.com/ as well as a way to listen to and subscribe to her podcast "Understanding Today's Narcissist."

You can find Christine's two previous visits to The Virtual Couch at the following links:

Talking about Narcissism, and Narcissist Personality Disorder here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/10/29/episode-86-understanding-todays-narcissist-podcast-host-christine-hammond-lmhc-personality-disorder-expert/

And talking about Borderline Personality Disorder here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2019/03/26/episode-118-understanding-borderline-personality-disorder-bpd-with-christine-hammond-lmhc/

Tony Overbay's new book, co-authored with author Joshua Shea (The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About: How I Let My Pornography Addiction Hurt People and Destroy Relationships https://amzn.to/2O0KxAd) He's A Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions, is now available on Amazon, you can find it here https://amzn.to/2KylIcz

Take Control of Your Parenting, More on the Nurtured Heart Approach to Parenting

Mon, 18 Nov 2019 14:50:56 +0000

Learn tangible, positive ways to help you take control of your parenting today! In this solo episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, goes into detail, with personal examples, of how to actually implement the Nurtured Heart Parenting approach with your small, or teenage children. Tony dives into the three stands of the Nurtured Heart Approach: Stand 1, refuse to be drawn into energizing or rewarding negativity, hide your buttons! Make the responses to tantrums, episodes and broken rules boring, predictably boring! Stand 2, absolutely energize and nurture success, making the building of "inner wealth" the goal. Do it, relentlessly do it! I WILL energize the positive using the Nurtured Heart Approaches four techniques to find, recognize and comment upon successes, small, large and everything in between EVEN if you believe there's nothing there to praise! And Stand 3, clearly, but casually, enforce limits. Create a system where the rules are understood, and when they are broken, here's what happens. I WILL provide a true consequence when a rule is broken, I WILL be absolutely clear with my expectations, I will NOT simply dangle a carrot but I will provide a reminder, with limits!

From the website Children's Success Foundation https://childrenssuccessfoundation.com/ the Nurtured Heart Approach is described as follows: "The Nurtured Heart Approach® is a relationship-focused methodology founded strategically in The 3 Stands™ for helping children (and adults) build their Inner Wealth™ and use their intensity in successful ways. It has become a powerful way of awakening the inherent greatness in all children while facilitating parenting and classroom success.

The essence of the Approach is a set of core methodologies originally developed for working with the most difficult children. It has a proven impact on every child, including those who are challenged behaviorally, socially and academically. The Nurtured Heart Approach has been shown to create transformative changes in children diagnosed with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Reactive Attachment Disorder and other behavioral, emotional and anxiety related symptoms – almost always without the need for long-term mental health treatment. Even children experiencing social cognitive challenges, like Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asperger Syndrome greatly benefit from the Approach, reducing the need for traditional mental health and medical interventions."

The book Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach, by Howard Glasser, may be found here https://amzn.to/2r8mgij

Tony mentions a couple of podcasts in this episode, first is when he spoke with Pastor Chris Jung from Summit Christian Church in Lincoln, CA (http://mysummit.church) about the Nurtured Heart Approach, you can find that episode here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/02/26/virtual-couch-podcast-episode-40-parenting-help-4-items-w-pastor-chris-jung-of-summit-church/

Tony also discussed the Nurtured Heart Approach on Rachel Nielson's 3 in 30 Takeaways for Mom's Podcast (http://3in30podcast.com) and that episode can be located here https://3in30podcast.com/captivate_podcast/praise/

How to Pick the Right Therapist For You and/or Your Kids with Rachel Nielson, Host of 3 in 30 Podcast

Mon, 11 Nov 2019 13:40:00 +0000

Rachel Nielson, the host of the popular podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms (http://3in30podcast.com) makes a return visit to The Virtual Couch to discuss the challenges of finding the right therapist for you, and/or your kids. Rachel talks about what first led her to therapy, and how a negative experience with her first therapist didn't stop her from continuing to find a therapist who could, and would, help her through some difficult times in her life.

Rachel and Tony cover how to find a good therapist, what a good fit looks like, how to transition from one therapist to another, and some of the challenges that still exist around the negative stigmas and stereotypes that surround going to therapy.

You can find Rachel's first visit to The Virtual Couch, where she talks about the difficulties, and blessings, of going through both In-vitro fertilization as well as open adoption at the same time, here https://www.tonyoverbay.com/2018/05/07/episode-54-in-vitro-fertilization-and-open-adoption-w-rachel-nielson-host-of-3-in-30-takeaways-for-moms/ And Rachel, along with another "Friend of the Couch" Amanda Packer, host of the About Progress Podcast, have a course for those interested in creating their own podcasts that you can learn more about here http://podcastuniversity.mykajabi.com/

Tony appeared twice on Rachel's podcast, first in the episode How to Praise Your Child When it Feels Like There is Nothing to Praise, with Tony Overbay, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist which can be found here https://3in30podcast.com/episodes/praise/

And then Tony appeared on an episode titled How to Earn (And Keep) Your Kid's Trust which you can find here https://3in30podcast.com/episodes/teens-trust/

The Difference Between Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Narcissists! Featuring Dr. James Fallon's Interview "Life as a Nonviolent Psychopath"

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 06:38:00 +0000

One of the requests that I receive the most is to do an episode on psychopaths vs. sociopaths or narcissists. In this episode, I cover all three, including a fascinating article in The Atlantic, "Life as a Nonviolent Psychopath" https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/01/life-as-a-nonviolent-psychopath/282271/ where interviewer Judith Ohikuare talks to American neuroscientist Dr. James Fallon. Dr. Fallon is a professor of psychiatry and human behavior and emeritus professor of anatomy and neurobiology at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine.

Dr. Fallon found an amazing discovery when he looked at functional brain scans of a control group for Alzheimer's research alongside scans of violent murderers. This discovery led him to write the book "The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain." https://amzn.to/33fozhN

I also reference Dr. Traci Stein's article from Psychology Today "Narcissist or Sociopath? Similarities, Differences and Signs" https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-integrationist/201608/narcissist-or-sociopath-similarities-differences-and-signs as well as an article that briefly describes the differences between a sociopath and a psychopath https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/psychopath/psychopath-vs-sociopath-what-s-the-difference

Playing Devil's Advocate is NOT Going to Help Your Marriage! More EFT Tools To Help Your Marriage

Tue, 29 Oct 2019 06:07:00 +0000

One of the most unproductive phrases Tony hears in couples counseling is “I’m just playing Devil’s advocate?” Are you? Or are you trying to poke holes in your partner’s reality? Only the “devil” in this scenario truly knows, but regardless, there’s even a productive way to GET TO the playing of the role of “devil’s advocate” and that is by first creating an environment where you are able to hear your partner, truly hear them, and create an environment where they feel safe, heard, like they can trust you. THEN if you still feel the need to question the floor may in fact be open for questions AND your partner may be in a better position to entertain your questions.

Tony also gives the origin of the “Devil’s advocate” (hint, it was an actual position back in olden times!) as well as a few fun facts about Halloween. He also shares his favorite, yet most obnoxious, two-line joke, a holdover from the “Humor in Therapy” episode.

In this episode Tony gives an emotionally focused therapy (EFT) refresher from the folks at Goodtherapy.com you can find that here https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/emotionally-focused-therapy He also shares the history of the term Devil’s Advocate, that can be found here https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/devils-advocate.html and the ever-classic two-line jokes from the Humor in Therapy episode of the Virtual Couch can be found at the Boredpanda.com site here https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/

Mental Health Challenges in the Faith Community, A Discussion of Anxiety, Depression and Suicide w/Pastor Chris Jung of Summit Christian Church

Thu, 24 Oct 2019 14:50:00 +0000

Pastor Chris Jung of Summit Christian Church (http://mysummit.church), located in Lincoln, CA, joins Tony to discuss the challenges of discussing mental health-related topics such as anxiety, depression, and suicide in the faith community. The podcast begins with a one-on-one interview with Pastor Chris where he discusses his path toward church service, including his own mental health struggles that came with many of the challenges that he faced in leading both large and small youth and adult ministries across the country. Chris and Tony then spend some time discussing the topic of suicide, including the suicide of a couple of high-profile ministers over the past year. The give some very practical tips on how to talk about suicide with those around you and what to do if you believe someone may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideations.

After the interview, Tony includes the message from Summit Christian Church at approximately the 1:11 (one hour and eleven minute) mark.

If you, or someone that you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideations please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. And Tony refers to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website where you can learn how to spot behaviors that may be warning signs of suicidal behavior https://afsp.org/

You can pre-order Tony's new book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions here https://msipress.com/product/hes-a-porn-addict-now-what-an-expert-and-a-former-addict-answer-your-questions/ And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.

Parenting with Love and Logic featuring Beckie Hennessy, LCSW Host of The Path of Imperfection Podcast

Mon, 21 Oct 2019 13:36:00 +0000

Beckie Hennessy, LCSW joins Tony to talk about the Love and Logic parenting method. From the Love and Logic website https://www.loveandlogic.com/a/info/love-and-logic-parenting “Raise happy and well-behaved kids with positive, loving tools. The Love and Logic approach to parenting is built around the science of caring and respectful relationships. An authentic, loving connection between parents and their children forms the foundation of good behavior and healthy decision-making.

Sounds easy enough but never before in history have parents been faced with so many challenges! Our approach provides a variety of simple and effective strategies for parenting children from birth to adulthood. Whether you’re embarking for the first time with your new baby or navigating the turbulent teens with your child, our strategies and techniques will help you create calm and loving solutions."

Beckie was born and raised in West Valley City, Utah where she currently resides with her husband of 15 1/2 years and their 3 children. Beckie has been a therapist/coach since 2007 and currently owns BRICKS Family Counseling, Inc as well as Beckie Hennessy, LCSW, LLC. Beckie is an independent facilitator for Love and Logic. She has a podcast called The Path of Imperfection and has also written a book called Ministering Through Connection. Her best days are spent with her family as they watch movies together, blow bubbles in their chocolate milk and laugh until tears come. She loves to read, is a Pinterest addict and enjoys taking naps when she’s able.

IG: @beckie.hennessy.lcswFB: Beckie Hennessy, LCSWWebsite: beckiehennessy.comLove and Logic: loveandlogic.comhttps://www.loveandlogic.com/?gclid=CjwKEAjwiq-oBRC9gvHCsvDdn2cSJACV3DFR4eKtxmruJeQwAyrP7sSdBjQ2AUzkKa06lnm07uQBaxoC95rw_wcBBrene Brown on Boundarieshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5U3VcgUzqiI&t=1s

4 Steps to help you love your body w/Elisabeth Mortensen aka Eat Squat Mom

Mon, 14 Oct 2019 13:31:00 +0000

Elisabeth Mortensen, aka Eat, Squat, Mom returns to The Virtual Couch! Elisabeth talks about the four steps that she took to help her love her body, and Tony weaves in principals from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy into the steps. The steps she discusses not only apply to loving your body, or having a better body image, but also to embracing any sort of change in your life. You can read the original blog post here https://eatsquatmom.com/blog/posts/how-gain-love-your-body-and-your-weightAnd you can join Elisabeth's FREE 5 Day Challenge mentioned on the podcast THRIVING THROUGH THE HOLIDAY's, to help you combat the feeling of no control, while still enjoying the holidays. She will help you create your own personal fitness and nutrition plan to THRIVE during the holidays rather than just survive. No matter what your goal is, this challenge will help you navigate the holidays with a positive mindset and a PLAN OF ACTION to help you accomplish your goal! Click the link to register. The challenge starts on October 21st.You can pre-order Tony's new book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions here https://msipress.com/product/hes-a-porn-addict-now-what-an-expert-and-a-former-addict-answer-your-questions/ And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

What’s Up with your Parents…and How to Improve that Relationship BONUS From Becoming, A Podcast for Teens

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 14:12:59 +0000

Do you have kids, ever plan on having them, or were you once a kid yourself? Have you ever asked yourself at any time over the last few years, "What up with kids these days?" This episode will answer that question, and so many more! In this special bonus episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, was interview by Tawni Beardall and Erica Peterson, hosts of the popular podcast "Becoming, A Podcast for Teens." The following description of this episode comes directly from their website https://becomingforteens.podbean.com/"Tony Overbay has always wanted to do a podcast episode just for teens...to give them a look inside the minds of their parents. Today he is doing just that for you! So often you may feel like your parents just don't get you! They might say things like "you can talk to me about anything" that you just don't quite believe, or know that doesn't always turn out to be a great discussion.Tony is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist...with years of experience in therapy and is here to give YOU the tools to start to change the mood in your relationship with your parents. It definitely is something that takes effort from both sides...but did you know that you, as the teen, have more power than you might think to help train, and teach your parents to listen to you and hear you! Tony is here to help you figure out the answer to the question..."WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR PARENTS?!"There is still time to sign up for the free Epic Marriage Summit where Tony presented “Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than You Have in Your Entire Marriage.” The summit starts on Tuesday, October 8th and runs through October 10th. You can find out more by clicking here https://www.onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/epicmarriage?affiliate_id=1940080Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Can the "Language of Depression" Be A Better Indicator Than a Therapist?

Tue, 08 Oct 2019 06:00:00 +0000

Can the language one uses lead to a more successful diagnosis of a mental health condition than in talking with a therapist? What exactly is the “language of depression” and more importantly, what can we learn from it? In today’s episode Tony Overbay, LMFT, reviews an article by Mohammed Al-Mosaiwi, a Ph.D. candidate at the University of Reading, in Berkshire, United Kingdom called “People with depression use language differently - here’s how to spot it.” You can find the article here https://theconversation.com/people-with-depression-use-language-differently-heres-how-to-spot-it-90877

In this episode, Tony also talks about the Acceptance and Commitment principle called “Self as Context” and he reads an example from https://learningact.com/blog/2008/03/16/contacting-self-as-context/

There is still time to sign up for the free Epic Marriage Summit where Tony presented “Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than You Have in Your Entire Marriage.” The summit starts on Tuesday, October 8th and runs through October 10th. You can find out more by clicking here https://www.onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/epicmarriage?affiliate_id=1940080

BONUS Epic Marriage Summit Announcement with Monica Tanner Host of On The Brighter Side Podcast

Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:56:55 +0000

I was asked to present at the Epic Marriage Summit, and my presentation is titled, "Learn More About Your Spouse in 30 Days Than In Your Entire Marriage!" You can watch it free, along with presentations by 32 other marriage experts from October 8th through the 10th by following this link.

In this special bonus episode, I interview the Epic Marriage Summit's coordinator, Monica Tanner, host of On the Brighter Side podcast. She talks about what went into creating the Summit, along with who is presenting, and what topics will be covered. From the events webpage, "

Uplevel Your Relationship in 30 Days in 30 Ways If your marriage was hanging on by a thread and your partner was about to cut it, how would you save your marriage in 30 days? Join us as 30+ marriage experts share their best secrets, knowledge, experience, processes and plans to transform their relationships in 30 days. Come away feeling empowered with all the tools you need to create the marriage of your dreams.

Hear Ye, Hear Me, The Quickest Route to Empathy, And Why Gaslighting is the Anti-Empathy

Tue, 01 Oct 2019 11:23:34 +0000

Tony Overbay, LMFT shares the results of a couple of studies that shed some light on why it can be more difficult, not impossible, for some men to develop empathy and what we all can do to be more empathetic. He then shares examples of how to truly listen to your partner, as well as more gaslighting examples, and tells how those can truly be the anti-empathy!Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Understanding Betrayal Trauma with Brannon Patrick, Host of The Betrayed, The Addicted and The Expert Podcast

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 13:49:56 +0000

Brannon Patrick is an expert in the field of Betrayal Trauma, and he plays the role of "the Expert" in the popular podcast "The Betrayed, The Addict and The Expert." His podcast follows the recovery journey of Ashlynn and Coby, a couple who have been able to move forward as a result of the pain of betrayal and addiction. Brannon has developed several group systems and programs for addiction recovery. He has specialized training as a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist (CSAT) which has helped him learn how to treat sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Brannon is also trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Brannon is the co-clinical director and owner of TherapyUTAH and he has developed several programs to help individuals, and couples, heal from betrayal, as well as addiction.You can subscribe to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts, and you can learn more about Brannon, Ashlynn, and Coby at https://www.betrayedaddictedexpert.com/ and Brannon has additional materials and programs on his personal website https://www.brannonpatrick.com/Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Kurt Francom Exec. Director of LeadingSaints.org on Being a Leader, Not a Calling, Using the Word "Addiction" and his Liberating Saints Virtual Pornography Recovery Summit

Tue, 24 Sep 2019 12:31:34 +0000

Kurt Francom, Executive Director of LeadingSaints.org, started the non-profit nine years ago hoping to simply provide a few additional tools to help members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to become better lay-leaders in their church assignments (callings). Now, over the past nine years of existence, Leading Saints has connected Latter-day Saints to leadership principles through podcast episodes, written articles, and virtual conferences reaching individuals around the globe. Kurt shares the inspiration that led him to start LeadingSaints.org, some of the challenges that he's faced along the way.

Kurt, more comfortable in the interviewer role having hosted, and produced over 330 podcast episodes himself at the time of this recording, then shifts roles and asks Tony Overbay questions about addiction, specifically relating to pornography, as a preview of Kurt's latest global training, Liberating Saints, an online conference designed to help Latter-day Saints, and non Latter-day Saints alike, support and lead those who struggle with pornography. You can learn more about LeadingSaints and the Liberating Saints Virtual Summit by visiting http://leadingsaints.org

Tony's previous appearance on LeadingSaints.org, "The Bishop's Strongest Tools to Help Addicts, An Interview with Tony Overbay" can be heard here https://leadingsaints.org/the-bishops-strongest-tools-to-help-addicts-an-interview-with-tony-overbay/

Laughter May In Fact Be The Best Medicine

Tue, 17 Sep 2019 05:00:00 +0000

Is laughter actually good for you? What if you feel like there isn't a lot of humor in your life? In this episode Tony covers the topic of humor from the therapist's point of view, by reviewing Laura Johnson, LMFT's article "Humor in Psychotherapy" https://positivepsychologynews.com/news/laura-lc-johnson/200906252693 as well as Helpguide.org's article "Laughter is the best medicine," https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htmTony also reads the scientifically proven, funniest joke on the internet, as well as several other jokes that may cause you to release positive endorphins from the site Bored Panda https://www.boredpanda.com/funniest-two-line-jokes/ Plus, what can you do to gain a sense of humor?

Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions. And you can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.comThe Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

10 Positive Parenting Tips with Ralphie Jacobs from Simply On Purpose

Fri, 13 Sep 2019 12:52:25 +0000

Ralphie Jacobs, the positive parenting expert from Simply on Purpose IG @simplyonpurpose and Tony Overbay, LMFT, share their top 5 parenting tips plus, Ralphie sings the Jacobs family song!

Visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to learn more about Tony's upcoming book: He's a Porn Addict, Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions.

Zebras, pots and spoonies oh my! What chronic pain sufferers wish you knew

Mon, 09 Sep 2019 13:03:50 +0000

Is chronic pain your mentor, or your master? Nicole Alldredge and Aisley Johnson, co-authors of The Mindflight Journal, join Tony Overbay, LMFT on episode 152 of the Virtual Couch Podcast. The Mindflight Journal was created to help you not only track your health, medication, and symptoms, but also take care of your mind through gratitude, growth, and creativity. You can find them on Instagram @mindflightjournal on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mindflightjournal/ or by going directly to http://mindflightjournal.com Use the code "virtualcouch" to receive a discount on your copy.

Nicole and Aisley layout their own journeys in researching, understanding, diagnosing and ultimately learning not only to live but to thrive with chronic pain and illness. They discuss how raising your "emotional baseline" can help you live a more fulfilling life, even while struggling with chronic pain. They also give tips on the best way you can empathize with, and support anyone who is dealing with a chronic illness or chronic pain.

Nicole and Aisley created the Mindflight Journal with the following mission in mind:

Our mission is to help people with chronic illness or paito take care of their mind and body through journaling. It is through our own journey with chronic illness that we have learned how important it is to track your own health and focus on what you can change through learning, thinking and writing.

Having chronic illness and pain is a difficult trial, but we know it can have a refining effect. We hope that this journal brings you peace, helps you grow and gives you a spark of excitement each time you open its pages to see what it has in store for you each day

The Mindflight Journal has a two-page spread for every day and will last 120 days. A free bookmark comes with each journal that allows you to easily track your medications. Each journal is a cloth-covered, hardback book with a ribbon to mark your place.

For your health, each spread includes:

- a pain map

- health stats table

- medication table

- pain level scale

- symptoms/notes record

For your mind, each spread includes

- new quote

- unique, daily writing prompt

- daily challenge

- gratitude box

- to-do list

Is Your Marriage In Trouble!? Gottman's 4 Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling

Tue, 03 Sep 2019 15:41:35 +0000

Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling, also known by world renowned marriage researcher John Gottman as the Four Horsemen, are signs that your marriage may, or more likely is, in need of repair. Gottman, who, along with his wife Julie, run The Gottman Institute (http://gottman.com) a website for individuals, couples, parents and professionals alike that provides an incredible amount of information, and training, that "not only supports and repairs troubled marriages and committed relationships, but strengthens happy ones."

In this episode, Tony discusses Ellie Lisitsa's article from the Gottman website, "The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling." Learn why these communication styles can, according to Gottman's research, often predict the end of a relationship, and, more importantly, what you can do to be aware of these unhealthy styles, and what to do when you recognize them.

Tony also references the Virtual Couch episode 67, Rules of Konstructive Communication, which can be found by clicking here tonyoverbay.com.

Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Also visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up now to receive updates on exciting new programs designed to help you and your marriage. And visit http://pathbackrecovery.com to learn how to overcome turning to pornography as a coping mechanism once and for all!

Exploring the World of Online Therapy w/Betterhelp.com's Haesue Jo, LMFT Clinical Support Lead

Mon, 26 Aug 2019 14:04:08 +0000

Today we dive into the world of online therapy with Haesue Jo, a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as the clinical support lead for Betterhelp.com. We discuss how Betterhelp.com was started, as well as what the client experience is like from the initial assessment through meeting with a licensed counselor. We tackle the pros and cons of online therapy, talk about financial aid, where online therapy is heading in the future, and we hear a couple of funny stories that can happen when people are doing therapy from the comfort of their own homes.

Confirmation Bias, aka Why Are There So Many Teslas?

Mon, 19 Aug 2019 15:05:00 +0000

Have you ever bought a new car, and then all of a sudden felt like everybody was driving the same model? The same can be said for almost any type of purchase, or hairstyle, even some of the phrases that you say, right? (See what I did there, have you noticed everyone saying "right" after almost all of their sentences, even if you don't agree with them?). Most likely you're experiencing what psychologists call "Confirmation Bias." Simply put, confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor and recall information in a way that affirms one's beliefs or hypotheses (thank you Wikipedia!). In today's episode, Tony goes over Kendra Cherry's article from Verywellmind.com How Confirmation Bias Works (https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-a-confirmation-bias-2795024). He also references Russ Harris' books The Happiness Trap (https://amzn.to/2ZeuPYm), and ACT Made Simple (https://amzn.to/2KJGDdb), as well as Sue Johnson's Love Sense (https://amzn.to/31S9wtd).

Today’s episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.

Part 2 My ADHD (ADD inattentive type) and Me, Frenemies From Waaaay Back (Ep 2 of 2)

Tue, 13 Aug 2019 12:00:00 +0000

In part 2 of a 2 part episode on ADHD, Tony Overbay LMFT shares his own personal journey of living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD as well as what led him to seek help, the process of receiving a diagnosis, and what life has been like since the diagnosis and treatment. This episode tackles issues around impulsivity, as well as what the alternatives are to medication, and much more. Tony mentions the book Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell, M.D. and John Ratey, M.D. https://amzn.to/2YWbeYQ in the episode, and the signs and symptoms of ADHD in this episode were read from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-in-adults.htm

McKinley Overbay Returns! 7 Things She Learned from Depression and Anxiety, Plus Father/Daughter Q&A

Mon, 05 Aug 2019 13:38:45 +0000

Tony’s daughter McKinley Overbay returns for her second appearance on The Virtual Couch. McKinley first appeared in episode 91 where she talked about battling teenage depression, opening up to friends, and how parents can help. Today she returns almost 9 months later to discuss 7 things that she has learned from her depression and anxiety, plus Tony and Mackie answer questions about mental health. You can see the post discussed by following McKinley on Instagram at @mckinleyoverbay

My ADHD (ADD inattentive type) and Me, Frenemies From Waaaay Back Pt 1 of 2

Wed, 31 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Tony shares his own personal journey of living with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD as well as what led him to seek help, the process of receiving a diagnosis, and what life has been like since the diagnosis and treatment. The signs and symptoms of ADHD in this episode were read from https://www.helpguide.org/articles/add-adhd/adhd-attention-deficit-disorder-in-adults.htm

Why Don't You Believe Me!? Understanding the Influential Mind

Thu, 25 Jul 2019 14:35:00 +0000

Do you ever feel like you have an incredible amount of evidence behind your argument, yet your partner refuses to even listen? Today we take a look at Tali Sharot's work with "The Influential Mind" (available on Amazon) through her interview on Shankar Vedantam's The Hidden Brain podcast (https://www.npr.org/2019/07/18/743195213/facts-arent-enough-the-psychology-of-false-beliefs) as well as her interview with Gareth Cook, Understanding the Influential Mind, in The Scientific American https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/understanding-the-influential-mind/

Marriage Tips, What Kind of Car Does Your Spouse Want to Buy?

Tue, 23 Jul 2019 04:15:00 +0000

If your spouse came up to you today and said, "what type of car do you think I would want to buy?" what would you say? Would you tell them what type of car you think they should want to buy? Or would you just assume you knew because of a couple of passive comments that you've heard them say about cars? Or would you need to put all of your own mental baggage aside and listen, ask questions and then listen more? If your answer was anything other than the last one, I would HIGHLY recommend you bring a little bit of awareness to your listening skills. In today's episode Tony talks about some of the situations that he sees in therapy that get in the way of good, productive couples conversations and then he gives an analogy of someone trying to buy a car...what type of salesman are you? The answer will say a lot about your listening skills.

The Backside of Anger

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 13:31:50 +0000

Have you ever been so angry that you felt completely out of control? What if that feeling was one that you carried with you constantly? What if you didn’t even realize that there was another way to feel, and, once you realized that there was another way, a better way, was it too late to employ the tools that brought you to this realization. Today’s episode is about anger, anger management, and what that process looks like when it works. Too often people go through anger management counseling, or do group therapy around anger management simply to check off a box, sometimes literally, so they can go back to their lives of feeling justified by anger when they want to be and then wonder why when they are being nice, or nicer, people still aren’t comfortable around them. Today we’ll take a look at the “backside of anger,” or what anger management looks like, even when nobody else is looking. Jeff Kober's article on Disneydispatch.com on the backside of water can be found here http://www.disneydispatch.com/content/features/perfecting-the-customer-experience/what-meanest-the-backside-of-water/

Welcome to Holland!

Fri, 12 Jul 2019 04:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Holland! Please, take a look around, I know you thought you were heading to Italy or Hawaii, but since you're here, let's find a pair of wooden shoes and head over to the closest windmill...I think you'll grow to love the place! This episode is thanks to the essay "Welcome to Holland" by Emily Perl Kingsley. This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.

How To Raise Successful Kids, So Says Science!

Mon, 08 Jul 2019 13:29:02 +0000

Tony cover's Bill Murphy's http://contact.billmurphyjr.com/ Inc. Magazine article: 7 Science-Backed Things You Must Do to Raise Successful Kids https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/want-to-raise-extremely-successful-kids-science-says-do-these-7-things-every-day.html He also refers to a couple of additional articles in the episode, one from Scientific American titled: Is Divorce Bad for Children https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-divorce-bad-for-children/ as well as a few additional studies on stay-at-home mom's that can be found on the Verywell Family website https://www.verywellfamily.com/research-stay-at-home-moms-4047911 And this episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.com. Use http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch to receive 10 percent off your first month of Betterhelp.com's online counseling services featuring access to over 4,000 licensed therapists, who are available within 24 hours of your initial assessment. If you aren't comfortable with waiting rooms, or taking a chance on a therapist that you're not sure has the expertise that you are looking for, visit Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch and read the hundreds of reviews, or start the assessment process today and discover the world of online counseling, over 500,000 people are doing it to amazing results.

How to Empathy! Do You Really Know What Someone is Going Through? Bonus, Empathetic Statements Included!

Mon, 01 Jul 2019 13:57:59 +0000

“I know how you feel.” Do you really? While this phrase is well-meaning, can one truly understand what another is going through when each one of us is an entirely unique individual with only our own setup situations and circumstances that we bring to the table? After all, you are the only person in the history of the earth who has gone through exactly the situations that you have gone through based on the things that you have uniquely seen, done, experienced and felt up to this point in your life. Be it nature or nurture, DNA, birth order, rejection and abandonment issues, the set of friends that you have and all that they have gone through that have caused them to react in certain ways toward you. So is it even possible to truly have complete empathy for another? And, perhaps more importantly, how do you exercise your empathy skills? How do you develop your empathy muscles? Learn actual examples of empathetic phrases and more on today’s episode of The Virtual Couch. Laura Click’s Medium Article 31 Empathetic Statements for When You Don’t Know What to Say is quoted throughout this podcast. Her article can be found here https://medium.com/@lauraclick/31-empathetic-statements-for-when-you-dont-know-what-to-say-edd50822c96a

For more information on Tony Overbay please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to hear more about exciting content coming in the areas of happiness, healthy marriages, parenting, and more. And if you’re struggling with pornography addiction or any type of compulsive sexual behavior, please visit Tony’s online recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com

Guys Only Emergency Episode! What's Your Intention? Gentlemen, Let's Step it Up!

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 12:39:11 +0000

Gentlemen, guys, dudes, my brothers, it's time we take a step back and really look at what we're trying to accomplish in our marriages, in our relationships. What's your intention, is it to make our spouses, our kids, feel dumb when they try and communicate with us or is it to create an atmosphere where our kids and spouses feel like we are their rock, their secure place, their cheerleader, their wise old sage, their safe place? I need you to take a serious look in the mirror, own your part of your relationships and stop waiting for everybody else to do sometime, you have an incredible amount of power to not only improve your life but to watch your entire family system change for the better in the process. Let's do this!!

For more information visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up for my newsletter to hear more about upcoming programs and opportunities to improve yourself, your marriage, your parenting, to be the person who you, and your family, need you to be.

Am I Bipolar? Everything You Ever Wanted to Know (and Didn’t Know You Wanted to Know) About Bipolar Disorder

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 13:22:13 +0000

Everyone has mood swings, sometimes throughout a week, or a day, even within the span of a minute we can go from feeling like everything is right in the world, to wanting to crawl back in bed for the day. But does having regular ups and downs mean that you’re bipolar? Bipolar disorder is one of the most misunderstood diagnosis in the mental health field and the term “I’m bipolar” or “she’s being bipolar” is thrown around too casually, especially for people who are truly suffering with the disorder. On today’s episode, you’ll learn everything that you ever wanted to know, including several things that you didn’t even know you wanted to know, about bipolar disorder including what “mania” really looks like, are medications effective, and what is the difference between bipolar 1 and bipolar 2? Most of the research on today’s episode can be found at https://psychcentral.com/bipolar/ with a special thanks to Dr. John Grohol for his wealth of helpful information on the subject.

For more information on Tony Overbay please visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to hear more about exciting content coming in the areas of happiness, healthy marriages, parenting, and more. And if you’re struggling with pornography addiction, or any type of compulsive sexual behavior, please visit Tony’s online recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com

When Your Marriage Is Hurting, Tony Overbay on Julie Lee's I See You Podcast

Wed, 19 Jun 2019 16:42:11 +0000

My interview on Julie Lee's I See You Podcast. From Julie's show notes: "Joined by The Virtual Couch's Tony Overbay, today we are talking all about marriage! 'Seeing' your spouse with compassion and connection are key in saving a marriage. Tony, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist is here to teach us about EFT, gas-lighting, and creating safe relationships." Julie was a guest on The Virtual Couch episode 123 where she talks about her own journey with battling anxiety and depression. Julie and I switched interviewer/interviewee roles a couple of weeks later and she asked me a lot of questions about what to do when your marriage is hurting? I highly recommend this episode for anyone who may be struggling in their marriages, or for anyone married, or in a relationship in general as we talk about a lot of concepts and tools that I believe would be helpful for anyone to know to have a healthier connection, and more quality communication, with a partner.

You can learn more about Julie by going to http://iseeyoupodcast.com or by simply subscribing to her amazing podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. And you can learn more about Tony at http://tonyoverbay.com, or his program to leave pornography behind once as for all, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Dan Radin, CEO of Auxbus, On Creating an End-to-End Podcasting Platform

Mon, 17 Jun 2019 06:03:59 +0000

Dan Radin, CEO of Auxbus, joins Tony Overbay, LMFT on The Virtual Couch podcast to discuss what led Dan, a 15-year veteran of the audio industry, to venture out on his own and start a company with the lofty goal of creating an end-to-end podcasting platform that would help seasoned podcasters and newbie's alike sound like a professional?

Dan has more than 75 professional and consumer audio technology products under his belt, but Dan discovered a lot of pain in creating his own professional podcast… despite Dan himself being a giant audio nerd! This led Dan down a path of what it would take to combine his professional audio knowledge with the meteoric rise of people wanting to create podcasts who have little-to-no knowledge other than knowing they needed a microphone!

Dan and Tony also talk about the podcast industry in general, what it takes to produce quality content, why many podcasters fail and how much time is spent (maybe wasted) by new podcasters who don't understand what it takes to produce, edit and assemble a quality podcast.

Auxbus's mission is to develop technology that brings clarity to speech and makes audio content creation accessible to the world. Auxbus was founded in 2018 and is headquartered in Asheville, North Carolina, the Auxbus team shares a common goal of eliminating obstacles that stand between audio content creators and their audience. We’re helping you sound clever, conversational, creative, and in control of your audio – clearly.

With Auxbus, it’s never been easier—or faster—to capture the attention of your brand’s followers and add depth to your marketing. Our complete, end-to-end platform makes podcasting lightweight and approachable. You can learn more about Auxbus at http://auxbus.com

Visit http://tonyoverbay.com for more information Tony, or the Virtual Couch Podcast or http://pathbackrecovery for his online addiction recovery program.

Early Riser, or Night Owl, Who is More Productive? Can You Change?

Tue, 11 Jun 2019 13:56:00 +0000

Do you consider yourself a morning person, or a night owl? And who is more productive? More importantly, if you are a night owl but you want to become an early riser is that even possible? In this episode discover if the early bird, does, in fact, get the worm? And who performs better in school (hint, the grade point difference between night owls and early risers is BIG!), and at work, the morning person, or the night owl? I refer to the article "Can You Will Yourself to Be a Morning Person?" by Bryan Borzykowski http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20141013-can-you-become-a-morning-person as well as Lisa Evan's article from Fast Company titled "Turns Out that Morning People Are More Productive Than Night Owls https://www.fastcompany.com/90279079/turns-out-that-morning-people-really-are-more-productive-than-night-owls

Visit http://tonyoverbay.com for more information Tony, or the Virtual Couch Podcast or http://pathbackrecovery for his online addiction recovery program.

Rob Winkler, 5th Planet Games, on Parasocial Relationships, Why the Game of Thrones Finale Feels Like a Breakup.

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 05:20:00 +0000

Rob Winkler, 5th Planet Games, on Parasocial Relationships, Why the Game of Thrones Finale Feels Like a Breakup. Rob Winkler, Founder and Studio Lead of 5th Planet Games started writing a blog during the final season of HBO's Game of Thrones with a goal of sharing his thoughts with a co-worker or two. Rob's ramblings grew quickly as he mixed humor with an in-depth analysis of characters., and predictions of potential plot twists all wrapped up in an easy-to-understand writing style. Shortly after the show's finale, people started looking to Rob to help make sense of what was wrapped up, and what was still left unknown...but now, three weeks after the final episode Rob has yet to weigh in. Rob, as he has since discovered, was experiencing a parasocial relationship with the Game of Thrones characters. A parasocial interaction is a term coined in the '50s to refer to a psychological relationship experienced by fans of performers in the media, particularly those from television shows. Viewers begin to see the celebrities, or actors, as friends, and therefore the end of a show can represent the end of a friendship. Articles referenced in this episode can be found here https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/tv/many-people-hated-game-thrones-series-finale-s-because-it-n1007906 and https://www.thoughtco.com/parasocial-relationships-4174479

You can learn more about Tony's program's for happiness, pornography recovery, pre-marriage counseling, couples communication and more at http://tonyoverbay.com or visit http://pathbackrecovery.com for more information on Tony's online pornography and compulsive sexual behavior recovery program that has helped hundreds of people put these unproductive behaviors behind them once and for all.

Is Gaslighting Always Intentional? Plus More Real-life Gaslighting Examples

Mon, 03 Jun 2019 06:00:00 +0000

The phrase "gaslighting" is making the rounds lately, and with the increased awareness around the term, many people are accusing their spouses, parents, and co-workers of gaslighting them in all areas of life. A lot of times, the accuser is correct, by definition, meaning yes, the person they are accusing may be trying to convince them that what they are saying isn't true, but is gaslighting always intentional? Can gaslighting come from a place of simply being misunderstood or is it always calculated and malicious? In today's episode I cover an article on The Good Men Project's website called: 4 Levels of Gaslighting: From Unconscious to Malicious by Paget Norton, and I also give more listener examples of gaslighting.

Therapy Session 1, Sitting in My Office to Talk About Pornography (For Addicts, Spouses, and Parents) Part 1 of 2

Tue, 28 May 2019 06:00:00 +0000

I wanted to go a bit off-script in this 2-part episode to talk about what it would look like if you were coming to see me to talk about pornography addiction. Is it an addiction? Why is it a big deal? Is it a big deal? OK, fine, I got caught, or maybe even I turned myself in, but isn’t that enough? So sure, I’ve tried to stop looking at pornography a few times in the past, maybe even A LOT of times in the past, so why can’t I? In part 1 I talk about the effects of “sexualization” young, how it can slightly, or even radically, adjust the course of your adolescent, and teen years, to often cause you to be a bit more hyper-focused on sexuality. I talk about how having desire is completely normal, it’s part of who we are as human beings, but how over-focusing on sexuality often comes at the cost of neglecting other areas of life, primarily relationships, health, faith, friendships, goals based on your own unique personal values, all areas that lead to a more well-rounded human experience. I have found that the desire to continually turn back toward the instant gratification of pornography and/or compulsive sexual behavior comes from a “lack of” or a “void” in one's life. You can’t simply address the impulsive behaviors if you want to put them behind you, you also need to be nourishing and building the other areas of life, based on the unique traits and talents that you bring to the table.

You can learn more about my pornography addiction recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com and more about the podcast at http://tonyoverbay.com

Dr. Kevin Pugh on Transformative Experiences in Education

Thu, 23 May 2019 12:26:00 +0000

Dr. Kevin Pugh joins Tony to talk about Transformative Experiences in education. Dr. Pugh, a high school friend of Tony's, is one of the pioneers in the field of Transformative Experience Theory, which is a belief that “life is about having rich experiences and the things we learn in school should enrich and expand our everyday experience outside of school.” The Transformative Experience Theory focuses on how in-school learning can enrich out-of-school experience by expanding perception, contributing meaning and value to future experiences, and how learning should be transforming our relationship with the world. It combines ideas from John Dewey’s theory of aesthetics and his philosophy of education. Transformative experiences occur when students take ideas outside the classroom and use them to see and experience the world in exciting new ways. Dr. Pug is a professor in the School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Northern Colorado. Kevin’s book Computers, Cockroaches, and Ecosystems: Understanding Learning Through Metaphor, can be purchased here https://amzn.to/2qYEkbp Kevin’s blog can be found at https://learningandexperienceblog.wordpress.com

More about Tony, or the Virtual Couch podcast can be found at http://tonyoverbay.com and you can find more information on Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, at http://pathbackrecovery.com

Do I NEED My Partner For My Own Happiness? Exploring Dr. Sue Johnson's Love Sense

Tue, 21 May 2019 05:33:00 +0000

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo-Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4. The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields.-The book tackles tough questions with answers from both the expert and the addict's point of view. Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and creator of The Path Back, an online pornography addiction recovery program that has helped hundreds of people overcome turning to pornography and other compulsive sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism, and Joshua Shea, former addict, and author of the book “The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About” read their respective answers to questions such as "Finding out he's addicted to porn has turned me off to sex completely, what should I do?" And "How much do we tell the kids?" And "Does this mean that God is mad at me, or doesn't love me?"-Reviews include: "This is the most helpful book for porn addicts and the people who (still) love them. One of the most courageous and timely books to help with a widespread and almost never talked about epidemic that is ruining marriages, careers, and lives. It will give hope to millions of people who are addicted to pornography. -- Mark Goulston, MD, FAPA, Author of Just Listen Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.-You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program The Path Back by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs, and podcasts.-The Virtual Couch is sponsored by http://Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Ep128 Dr. Adam Harcourt on Brain Fog, Migraines, TBI, Concussions and Simple Brain Exercises

Thu, 16 May 2019 12:08:25 +0000

Why are some days just harder to get started than others? Do you sometimes feel like your brain is enveloped in a fog? Have you ever wondered where your migraines come from? Why do some treatments work for one patient but not for others for what appears to be the same symptoms? Dr. Adam Harcourt is the owner of Imagine X Functional Neurology and a highly decorated Professor of Clinical Neurology at the Carrick Institute for Graduate Studies. Dr. Harcourt has developed his own novel Migraine and Concussion treatment programs based on the latest research (some of which is his own) and he travels the world instructing doctors on how to treat these, and many other brain-related conditions.

Dr. Harcourt and Tony cover migraines, concussions, as well as brain fog, headaches, they discuss diet (what role does caffeine play in brain health?) and Dr. Harcourt provides listeners with simple eye exercises and brain games that you can play to help keep your brain feeling alive and engaged. You can learn more about Dr. Harcourt, and his work at http://ixneuro.com and he will soon be releasing a book on how to properly treat migraines. You can find more information on Tony and his programs at http://tonyoverbay.com, and to learn more about Tony’s strength-based pornography recovery program please visit http://pathbackrecovery.com

Ep127 Tony Reacts to the article “Why Do People Lie to Their Therapists” plus Habit Change, Narcissism, Gaslighting and More!

Tue, 14 May 2019 06:00:00 +0000

If you have access to anyone under the age of 25 in your life, ask them about “reaction videos” and then watch their own reactions! Whether you love watching old people react to rap videos, or your favorite actor or musician react to people watching them perform, sites like YouTube are full of these reaction videos. Tony first answers a question about why it takes longer than 21 days to truly create a new habit (and where that myth comes from), and then he dives into the research behind reaction videos before creating his own reaction video! Tony reacts to a popular article making the rounds in the therapeutic community titled “Why Do People Lie to their Therapists?” by Sue Kolod, PhD.

You can see the video on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel, or there will be links from the Virtual Couch or the Tony Overbay Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Facebook pages, or by visiting tonyoverbay.com. And please take a second to subscribe, rate and review the podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. And you can find out more about Tony’s “The Path Back” program at pathbackrecovery.com

Ep126 Recognizing the Raw Spots in Relationships (EFT)

Tue, 30 Apr 2019 06:00:00 +0000

Have you ever felt like everything was going right in your relationship? You are laughing, communicating well, when all of a sudden the mood has dramatically shifted? What just happened? Chances are you’ve rubbed up against a “raw spot” in the relationship. According to Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, almost all of us have at least one hypersensitivity, or “raw spot” that, when rubbed in a relationship, can cause immediate feelings of emotional detachment, hurt, and abandonment. Learn how to spot the raw spots in your relationships, and, more importantly, how to heal them. Tony refers to Helena Madsen’s article “Living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” in the podcast. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/chronic-illness-hypersensitivity-relationships/

Ep125 Navigating a Faith Journey/Crisis, Fowler's Stages of Faith, Truth, Beauty and Goodness

Mon, 22 Apr 2019 12:44:00 +0000

Tony explores this topic from a variety of angles, from empathy, and Christlike love, to explore what it means to judge righteously, and why identifying as someone more connected to Truth, Beauty, or Goodness matters? And finally, Tony discusses James Fowler’s Stages of Faith, and how understanding where you are, or where a loved one may be, can help bring more peace, and understanding, into a relationship where a belief system is at the core of the disagreements.

Happy Wife, Happy Life is Evidence Based! Emotionally Intelligent Husband Key to Better Marriage

Tue, 16 Apr 2019 13:33:00 +0000

Have you ever heard the phrase “Happy Wife, Happy Life?” As cliched as it sounds, there may actually be some data to back it up. A study published in the Los Angeles Times in the late ’90s, that has since been built upon, shares that the key to a strong marriage is for a husband to be willing to accept his wife’s influence. Tony talks about why simply “active listening” is not enough, and how this study, published by the Gottman Institute, paved the way for more of the evidence-based marriage therapy programs like John Gottman’s own work in empathy and understanding, as well as how this work affected modalities like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples.

The article referenced in the podcast can be found here

https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1998-feb-21-mn-21412-story.html more information on John and Julie Gottman can be found at http://gottman.com and more information on Tony, and the Virtual Couch podcast can be found at http://tonyoverbay.com

Ep123 Julie Lee Host of I See You Podcast Talks About Her Journey With Anxiety and Depression

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 15:19:11 +0000

Tony Overbay interviews Julie Lee, Host of the “I See You” podcast and author of the children’s book Broccolipunzle: A Fractured Fairytale. Julie talks about her personal journey with anxiety and depression. Julie grew up in a family of six children, with a father who battled bipolar disorder. She never thought that she would deal with mental illness until one day she found herself in the middle of a panic attack at the beginning of her teaching career. That initial panic attack led her back home to confront her own internal demons. Julie fought the stigma of mental illness, medication, and dealing with childhood issues to eventually find herself loving life again. Julie acknowledges that she may always be susceptible to those feelings of anxiety and depression moving forward, but she has a much clearer view of who she is as a person, and how self-compassion and connection will ultimately lead her to a more fulfilling, peace-filled life. You can learn more about Julie at https://iseeyoupodcast.com/home

Ep122 Finding the Demon Dialogues in Couples Communication, Up First “Find the Bad Guy!”

Mon, 08 Apr 2019 13:47:50 +0000

Tired of negative patterns of communication in your marriage, or in relationships in general? Well, today is your lucky day! Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a structured approach to couples therapy based on the science of adult attachment and bonding that has mounds of research behind it. Studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery, and approx 90% show significant improvements. One of the first things you’ll need to do is find where you are in the Demon Dialogues? Do you and your spouse try to “Find the Bad Guy?” Or are you firmly doing the “Protest Polka?” You need to figure this out before reaching the “Freeze and Flee” which can ultimately lead feelings that the marriage isn’t salvageable. Learn more about these patterns and how to avoid them. Tony references Dr. Sue Johnson’s article http://drsuejohnson.com/where-does-love-go-wrong/ and pulls from http://iceeft.com

Amy Twiggs, Sports Performance Coach and Former Elite Gymnast on Confidence, Sports Performance and Parenting Today's Athletes

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 16:39:00 +0000

Amy Twiggs is a sports performance coach who works with athletes, from beginners to professionals, in the field of mental coaching. Amy shares how to build confidence as an athlete, as well as what parents, and coaches, need to know in order to get the most from an athlete while still helping the athlete figure out who they are, and what they want from life, and from their sport. Amy is the host of the Flippin' Awesome Coaching for Athletes podcast. Amy is a former elite gymnast and national team member, she graduated from Stanford with a degree in psychology. Amy focuses on health and development, as well and performance and confidence. Amy has been working specifically with athletes for the past 15 years. You can find Amy at http://amytwiggs.com http://flippinawesomecoaching.com

Gaslighting Examples, Does A Gaslighter Know They Gaslight?

Mon, 01 Apr 2019 13:56:00 +0000

Gaslighting is a form of control, which comes from the 1938 play Gas Light (later made into a film, starring Ingrid Bergman). The victims of gaslighting often bring things up to a partner that they believe to be true, only to end a conversation with...

Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Man of the Year Candidate Emanuel Petrisor on Career Change After Brother’s Diagnosis

Thu, 28 Mar 2019 17:01:00 +0000

Emanuel Petrisor has been an ICU nurse for almost 20 years. His family immigrated from Romania when he was 5, and Emanuel discovered a love for history after coming to America. He initially went to school to become a teacher, but when he was 18, his...

Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) with Christine Hammond, LMHC

Mon, 25 Mar 2019 13:44:00 +0000

Tony Overbay, LMFT, interviews Christine Hammond, LMHC, on the Virtual Couch Podcast to discuss borderline personality disorder (BPD). They discuss what a personality disorder is, the difference between narcissism and borderline personality disorder,...

Sexuality Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife on Partner Desirability and Hi/Low Desire Relationships

Fri, 22 Mar 2019 09:00:00 +0000

Sexuality and Relationship Counselor Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife makes her 2nd appearance on the podcast to talk about what to do if you no longer find your partner physically attractive, as well as how to communicate in a relationship where one partne...

What is Your Attachment Style? Understanding Attachment Patterns Can Significantly Impact Your Relationships

Mon, 18 Mar 2019 14:36:00 +0000

The way we interact with our current partners, children, or even work colleagues has a lot to do with how we attached to our primary caregivers as children. And understanding these “attachment styles” can ultimately lead to better relationships...

Developing Teen Girl Confidence/Healthy Social Media Skills w/Kim Partridge RN, Life Coach “Coach Kimmie”

Thu, 14 Mar 2019 14:25:00 +0000

Kim Partridge, aka “Coach Kimmie” has been a registered nurse for 25 years and she doubles as a life coach dedicated to helping girls with teenage anxiety, and confidence issues. Tony and Kim talk about the book "Enough As She Is" by Rachel...

Why Do I Keep Picking Bad Partners? Is My "Picker" Broken? Freud's Repetition Compulsion

Mon, 11 Mar 2019 14:00:00 +0000

Worried that your "picker" is broken after going through a divorce or a bad break up? Is your fear of another relationship failure causing you to want to give up on finding the relationship that you have always dreamed of? Tony breaks down Freud's "repetition compulsion" and how your parents are actually messing up your relationships now, and in the future. Dr. Stephen Diamond's article "Essential Secrets of Psychotherapy: Repetitive Relationship Patterns" is the muse for this episode.

8 Types of Narcissism, More Gaslighting and Send Me Examples!

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 14:46:00 +0000

The more the word “narcissist” gets thrown around, the more chances there are to use the term incorrectly. Tony gives the diagnostic criteria for NPD and then discusses sociology PhD Kristen Milstead’s article “8 Types of Narcissists.” What...

BONUS Emotional Baseline, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) Tony Overbay on Monica Packer's About Progress Podcast

Thu, 28 Feb 2019 14:11:00 +0000

Episode 111

Ep110 Navigating a Break Up, With Balloons and Party Hats if Needed

Mon, 25 Feb 2019 15:23:00 +0000

Navigating a break up can be incredibly difficult, leaving you feeling blindsided, emotionally triggered by every smell, sound, and place that you go. And what about the pain? You feel like your heart is literally breaking! Did you know that brain...

John Kim aka "The Angry Therapist" Author of "I used to be a miserable F*ck" on Becoming a Better Man

Fri, 15 Feb 2019 14:40:00 +0000

According to John Kim, aka “The Angry Therapist,” we are not born men. We are born boys. The transition from misery to meaning is an internal process that requires work: reflection, pain, courage, and sometimes, a rebirth. Kim knows because he’s been there. The truth is, men weren’t meant to just pay bills and die. With his book "I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck" as your guide, you will love hard, walk tall, and find a life filled with purpose and passion. Kim's can be found at theangrytherapist.com

Ep106 Neuroplasticity of the Brain, Post-Concussion Syndrome, TBI with Dr. Molly Parker PT

Mon, 11 Feb 2019 14:37:00 +0000

Dr. Molly Parker’s life changed dramatically when a car ran up on the sidewalk and hit her and many others leaving her with severe post-concussion syndrome and a sensorimotor disorder for 7 years. A physical therapist herself, she saw over 70...

Ep105 "You're So Vain" Narcissism, Tony's Appearance on Marriage Thereoke Podcast

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 14:08:11 +0000

Tony was interviewed on the Marriage Thereoke podcast where Rich and Celeste Davis, from marriagelaboratory.com dive deep into the lyrics of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain," which leads to a discussion on narcissism. Then they welcome Tony to share thoughts on what to do if you're in a relationship with a narcissist, what the term "gaslighting" means, and he answers the question of where narcissism comes from. Then Rich re-writes the song from a therapists POV when a narcissist comes to couples therapy!

Ep104 Highly Sensitive People (HSP) are Super Heros! Featuring Nikki Eisenhauer from the Emotional Bada$$ podcast

Mon, 04 Feb 2019 13:31:28 +0000

Tony interviews Nikki Eisenhauer, International Life Coach, Psychotherapist and host of the award-winning podcast Emotional Badass about her experiences as, and working with Highly Sensitive People (HSP). Some estimates say that 10-15% of the...

Ep103 Q-U-I-T What kind of 4-letter word is Quit? When is it OK to Quit?

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 14:56:18 +0000

When is it OK to quit? When do you finally pull the plug on the job you aren’t satisfied with, the relationship that appears to be going nowhere or the school that you always dreamed of attending? Tony refers to the work of Peg Streep and the...

Ep102 Managing Screen Time w/Andrea & Tyler Davis of Betterscreentime.com

Fri, 25 Jan 2019 13:40:40 +0000

Tony interviews Tyler and Andrea Davis, creators of Betterscreentime.com on positive screentime strategies for parents and teens. They've spent a considerable amount of time studying the latest research, interviewing intentional parents, and testing...

Ep101 Can Your Brain Multitask? Myth or Reality and What Do You Do With Your Time?

Mon, 21 Jan 2019 15:21:00 +0000

Is multitasking a myth or are some people able to spread themselves thin and thrive? And what do you do with your time? Do you value an extra minute, or a few seconds? Tony first tackles time, motivated by the poem “Time in Perspective,”...

Ep100 You’ve Got This! Puppies, Ponies, $200 bills and 6 Principles of ACT

Mon, 14 Jan 2019 14:34:00 +0000

You can do this! What is this? Whatever you’re going through right now, and this isn’t your typical “you can do anything you put your mind to” speech. This is an episode to be returned to, an episode designed to help you understand where your...

Ep99 Eat Squat Mom’s Elisabeth Mortensen on Confidence, Body Image, and Finding What’s Right for YOU!

Mon, 07 Jan 2019 10:00:00 +0000

Tony interviews Elisabeth Mortensen, better known as Eat Squat Mom (Instagram @eat.squat.mom). From Elisabeth's website http://eatsquatmom.com "I have been on many fitness journeys over the last eight years and have striven for perfection each time. I...

Ep98 Improving Relationships via Shared Experiences, Are You Trying to Be Relatable, or Impressive?

Mon, 31 Dec 2018 14:56:00 +0000

Can going to a movie be a bonding experience? Do you think that sitting next to your partner on your phone/computer while they watch something on TV is good enough? Tony dives into studies that show that connection, even in the mundane trumps...

Ep97 Resolutions That Will Stick, No Really! Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Plus Resolutions = Success!!

Thu, 27 Dec 2018 15:59:00 +0000

It’s New Year’s Resolution time! Does that bring a feeling of fear, or excitement to your brain? Tony weaves acceptance and commitment therapy into 5 evidence-based ways to make your resolutions stick once and for all! Learn how your values must...

Ep96 Dating in the Modern Age with Caitlin Markham, AMFT

Tue, 18 Dec 2018 10:00:00 +0000

Caitlin Markham, AMFT makes her second appearance on The Virtual Couch podcast. Tony and Caitlin discuss problematic dating trends for young adults and how advances in technology have hindered the progression of healthy relationships. Caitlin explains...

Ep95 Part 2 Can Empathy Be Taught/Learned or Is It a Factory Setting?

Mon, 10 Dec 2018 14:31:00 +0000

Part 2 of Tony’s podcast on teaching empathy. Are women more empathetic than me? The answer may surprise you. Tony discusses 5 more evidence-based methods for teaching, modeling and nurturing empathy from Gwen Dewar, Ph.D’s excellent article from...

Ep94 More Marriage Tips! Tony on the Amanda Louder Podcast talking EFT

Thu, 06 Dec 2018 15:12:00 +0000

More Marriage Tips! Tony Overbay, the host of the Virtual Couch Podcast, talks in more detail about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) as a guest on the Live from Love Podcast with Life Coach Amanda Louder. Tony explains how this evidence-based...

Ep93 Can Empathy Be Taught/Learned or Is It a Factory Setting? Part 1 of 2

Mon, 03 Dec 2018 14:37:00 +0000

Empathy has become a big buzzword over the past few years, and, chances are you’ve wondered if your spouse, your kids, or your boss lacks empathy altogether? Or are you the one you’re worried about? In part 1 of 2, Tony looks at the 3 components...

Ep92 Reed Ward, Licensed Educational Psychologist on School Evaluations, Autism, ADHD, Memory and More

Thu, 29 Nov 2018 14:51:00 +0000

Reed Ward, a licensed educational psychologist (LEP) and school psychologist, shares how educational testing and assessments for autism, dyslexia, ADHD, and various learning disabilities are beneficial in helping understand a student's individual...

Ep91 McKinley Overbay on Battling Teenage Depression, Opening Up to Friends, How Parents Can Help

Mon, 26 Nov 2018 13:51:00 +0000

Tony is joined by his daughter McKinley Overbay to discuss her recent Instagram post on World Mental Health Day in which she discussed her life 6 months after opening up to friends about her depression and anxiety. In the post she shares that despite...

Ep90 The Science Behind Gratitude

Tue, 20 Nov 2018 15:54:00 +0000

We often hear that we need to be more grateful in order to truly be happy. Is gratitude simply born of pop-psychology psychobabble or is it actually an evidence-based way to improve our lives? Tony discusses Amy Morin’s Forbes article “7...

Ep89 BONUS What is Gaslighting? Do you feel like you're losing your mind in your relationship?

Thu, 15 Nov 2018 13:59:00 +0000

From the National Domestic Abuse Hotline (thehotline.org) “I never said that. You’re making things up again.” “Are you sure? You tend to have a bad memory.” “It’s all in your head.” Does your partner repeatedly say things like this to...

Ep88 Dr. Laura Sparrow on Losing Her Baby at 35 Weeks, Her Grieving Process, What To Say to Mothers Who Experience a Stillbirth

Mon, 12 Nov 2018 10:00:00 +0000

Dr. Laura Sparrow discusses her stillbirth story, losing her baby at 35 weeks and how she has been able to move forward despite daily reminders of her loss. She shares the most helpful ways that others helped her during her difficult time, as well as...

Ep87 Our Deepest Fear

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 14:05:00 +0000

Tony lost his voice, which leads to a very short podcast. He reads the poem Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson and discusses how it’s not the fear of being inadequate that holds one back, but the fear that we truly are powerful. Because if the...

Ep86 Understanding Today’s Narcissist Podcast Host Christine Hammond, LMHC/Personality Disorder Expert

Mon, 29 Oct 2018 12:43:00 +0000

Christine Hammond, the host of the podcast Understanding Today’s Narcissist, joins Tony to discuss personality disorders, particularly narcissism. Research estimates that 15% of people have a type of personality disorder. What is a personality...

Ep85 BONUS Betrayal Trauma, Pornography Addiction Recovery Tony Interviewed on The Joyful Soul Project

Thu, 25 Oct 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Tony’s interview on The Joyful Soul Project. From thejoyfulsoulproject.com Pornography is affecting marriages and families throughout the world. Heidi interviews Tony Overbay, a marriage and family therapist who has worked with countless individuals...

Ep84 The Gift of Recovery Authors Dr. Rebecca Williams, Julie Kraft LMFT on Mindful, Joyful, Sustainable Recovery

Mon, 22 Oct 2018 13:28:00 +0000

Dr. Rebecca Williams, PhD and Julie Kraft, LMFT discuss their new book The Gift of Recovery - 52 Mindful Ways to Live Joyfully Beyond Addiction. The book not only provides tools for recovery from any addiction, but it also teaches 52 in-the-moment...

Ep83 Q&A Navigating Difficult Conversations, ADHD, Can One Truly Overcome Porn Addiction & More

Tue, 16 Oct 2018 11:36:00 +0000

How do you begin hard conversations with a spouse? Can you truly overcome pornography addiction? Will the World Health Organization’s diagnosis of Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) lead more people to seek help from continually turning to...

82 Positive Parenting - Ralphie Jacobs @SimplyOnPurpose

Mon, 08 Oct 2018 13:43:00 +0000

Ralphie Jacobs, whose popular Instagram account SimplyOnPurpose has a following (at this posting) of nearly 80,000 followers, joins me to talk about Positive Parenting. Ralphie, a mother of 4 girls, has a background in early childhood education. She moved from teaching children to teaching parents, as she felt a calling to teach people how to use their power as a parent to create a life full of purpose. Ralphie discusses the challenges of trying to stay positive when our kids are doing all that they can to push our buttons, and she answers some difficult parenting questions on the topics of homework, eating, procrastination and more. You can find Ralphie on Instagram at simplyonpurpose or at her Facebook page here on at her website here.

81 Learning the Levels of Intimacy - A Guide to Better Connection

Tue, 02 Oct 2018 09:00:00 +0000

80 Being Authentically Authentic, A Key to Happiness

Tue, 25 Sep 2018 09:00:00 +0000

What does it mean to be authentic? Have you ever run across someone who kisses up to a boss, but the moment the boss leaves, he or she begins to complain about them? Is that someone that you’re drawn to? Are you that person? Brene Brown, author of books such as Rising Strong, and Daring Greatly says authenticity is the antidote to shame, that it’s “a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Authenticity, despite what some believe, leads to more connection, not less. In this episode Tony also refers to the article 5 Powerful Lessons About Authenticity that Everybody Needs to Hear by Madeline Fry.

Ep79 Ten Commandments of Managing Depression w/Nate Christensen APCC

Tue, 18 Sep 2018 12:11:00 +0000

Nate Christensen, APCC, shares his personal journey in living with depression and shares his "Ten Commandments of Managing Depression." Depression is a diagnosable mental illness and treatment is available! Depression is estimated to affect up to...

Ep78 What If Trying to Choose To Be Happy Isn't Working?

Mon, 10 Sep 2018 13:16:00 +0000

Ep77 Nikki Harmon, LMFT on Learning to Find Happiness in “The Hard”

Tue, 04 Sep 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Nikki's Story of Betrayal, Divorce, Parenting, A New Career, Loss of a Parent, and Adoption and How She Found Happiness in "The Hard."

Ep75 How's That Working For You? Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) 2

Tue, 21 Aug 2018 13:04:07 +0000

Tony uses acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) to explain how holding onto our fears, worries, and anxieties can get in the way of progress. He uses the “ACT in a nutshell metaphor” from Russ Harris’s book ACT Made Simple and he shares the...

Ep74 Listening Skills - Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Mon, 13 Aug 2018 13:44:00 +0000

Are you a good listener? Studies show that you most likely believe that you are, even if your listening skills are rooted in pop-psychology, with no real evidence to back them up. Learn What Great Listeners Actually Do from an article in the Harvard...

Ep73 Ryan Walton of Daring to Dad on Meniere's Disease, Navigating Miscarriage, Therapy And Parenting

Tue, 07 Aug 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Ryan Walton, creator of daringtodad.com shares his discovery of Meniere's disease late in life and how it almost cost him his hearing, and how he helped his wife navigate through two miscarriages before finally getting pregnant. Ryan also talks about tour

Ep71 “Tell Me More About That” - Productive Phrases That Discourage Fixing, Encourage Empathy and Improve Communication

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 15:21:00 +0000

Tony Overbay, LMFT, gives examples of ways to cultivate better communication with your kids, teens, and spouse by leading with empathy. He gives specific examples, and phrases of how to sit in a communication and show empathy even when all you want to...

Ep70 Jody Moore How To Deal With Difficult Family Members - BONUS

Wed, 25 Jul 2018 09:00:00 +0000

Jody Moore, host of the Better Than Happy Podcast, and popular life coach is teaching a series of free webinars focused on how to deal with difficult family members. Visit jodymoore.com/free for more information. In this bonus episode, Tony and...

Ep69 Anthony Esteves of the Capeless Crusaders on Persevering Through Suicide In The Family And Job Transition

Mon, 23 Jul 2018 12:45:00 +0000

Anthony Esteves, Cohost of the Capeless Crusaders Podcast, Writer/Contributor/Film Enthusiast for Latino Review Media discusses his personal journey in dealing with the suicides of his uncle, and his cousin. Despite the events happening almost 20...

Ep68 Integrity, Character and Personality - What is Your Integrity Worth?

Tue, 17 Jul 2018 14:57:00 +0000

What is your integrity worth? Is it worth a couple of dollars that you'll save by selecting a child's ticket for a movie when your child is actually 27 and living at home? What is the difference between character, and integrity, and how do you develop...

Ep66 Coach Charles Gazaway Kidney/Pancreas Transplant Survivor on Mentoring Youth, Race in Youth Sports and Benefits of Hard Work

Thu, 05 Jul 2018 15:35:00 +0000

Charles Gazaway is a former professional basketball player/kidney & pancreas transplant survivor. He discusses mentoring youth, looking beyond race on the court, and coaching to individual needs.

Ep65 Discipline and the Miracle Question

Mon, 02 Jul 2018 19:34:00 +0000

What is more important, self-discipline, or IQ? And imagine you go to sleep tonight and wake up tomorrow and during the night a miracle happened. When you woke up your life now looked more like the life you always dreamed of. How do you feel, what...

Ep64 PTSD and the Military w/retired US Army Special Forces Jeff Adamec

Wed, 27 Jun 2018 13:31:00 +0000

Tony Overbay interviews Jeff Adamec on the topic of PTSD the negative stigma associated with discussing mental health challenges in the military. Jeff served in the United States Army as a Ranger and a Special Forces Green Beret for 18 years. He had 6...

Ep63 Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Tools for Happiness

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 14:20:00 +0000

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based model that uses acceptance of one’s thoughts in combination with powerful mindfulness tools, as well as commitment and behavior-change strategies to increase psychological flexibility. ACT...

61 How to Talk About Suicide, There is HOPE!

Mon, 11 Jun 2018 13:23:00 +0000

Despite the fact that over 100 people commit suicide in the US alone on a daily basis, we don’t often hear enough about resources for those who are having suicidal thoughts until a high profile celebrity tragically turns to suicide. In this episode, Tony addresses some of the myths around talking about suicide and then gives suggestions and tools for those who may be experiencing suicidal thoughts or ideations or for anyone who may be dealing with a loved one who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. For anyone who needs help, please immediately call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255 or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ On this episode Tony also mentions the following people, websites, and stories: Kevin Hines story http://www.kevinhinesstory.com/ Tim Ferris’s article on his experience with suicidal thoughts https://tim.blog/2015/05/06/how-to-commit-suicide/ in the episode I also recommend reading almost any of the 1100 plus comments, many from suicide survivors. The BeThe1To movement can be found here http://www.bethe1to.com/ There are a lot of good resources for parents and teens on talking to their kids, and friends, about suicide. And there is a tremendous amount of good information at http://suicide.org

Ep60 BONUS Tony on 3 in 30 Podcast for Mom's on How to Praise Difficult Kids

Thu, 07 Jun 2018 09:00:00 +0000

In this bonus episode, Tony Overbay was a guest on Rachel Nielson’s podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms. Rachel titled the episode “How to Praise Your Child When if Feels Like There Is Nothing to Praise.” Tony discusses the Nurtured Heart Approach and the four ways of positive acknowledgment. Tony and Rachel then discuss how to work through difficult parenting moments, and how to immediately shift the momentum in the home to help keep parents feeling more in control, while building up a child’s “inner wealth” without having the child feel like they have no consequences. Rachel does a fantastic job boiling down a topic to, in this case, 4 takeaways in around 30 minutes. Search for “3 in 30 Takeaways for Mom” on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts or you can link directly to the episode here http://3in30podcast.com/praise/

Ep59 Procrastination, Proactively Pulverizing Your Procrastination Problems

Mon, 04 Jun 2018 12:29:00 +0000

Procrastination, it's not simply an "I'll get to it later," problem. Procrastination can be a debilitating issue that causes a great deal of guilt, and shame, to people from all walks of life, from students to successful businesspeople. Most likely...

Ep58 OCD Obsessions, Compulsions and Overcoming "Brain Lock"

Tue, 29 May 2018 12:28:00 +0000

In this episode, Tony Overbay, LMFT, explains how obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) works and provides tips, and tools, for overcoming what Dr. Jeffery Schwartz calls "Brain Lock," in his book "Brain Lock: Free Yourself From Obsessive-Compulsive...

Ep57 Happiness! Why Is Happiness So Difficult to Hold On To?

Mon, 21 May 2018 12:34:00 +0000

Why is it so difficult to be happy? With all of the advances in technology and advances in being more open to mental health issues, one would think that happiness would be on the increase. But instead, we find that people's overall happiness has been...

Ep56 Human/Sex Trafficking, How to Protect Our Families with Leonard, Former Inmate

Mon, 14 May 2018 13:42:00 +0000

Ep55 BONUS Finding the Lost Ticket - A Mindfulness Example

Thu, 10 May 2018 13:23:00 +0000

In this bonus episode of The Virtual Couch, Tony records a quick podcast to process an event that he had just experienced that could have gone one of two ways. One way would have been to let anxiety, stress, and panic rule his thoughts and...

Ep54 IVF and Open Adoption with Rachel Nielson Host of 3 in 30 Takeaways For Moms

Mon, 07 May 2018 12:13:00 +0000

Rachel Nielson, host of the popular podcast 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms, joins Tony on the Virtual Couch today to talk about her experience in how her two amazing children came to be a part of her family. Rachel went through both in vitro fertilization...

Ep53 Heather Robertson Creator of Halfsizeme.com Advice from Someone Who Lost 170 lbs

Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Heather Robertson is the creator of http://halfsi…

Ep52 Aurora Florence Pt 2 - Actress, Singer/Songwriter, Creator of Thrifted Sister YouTube Channel

Thu, 26 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Part 2 of Tony Overbay's 2-part interview with Au…

Ep51 Aurora Florence Pt 1 - Actress, Singer/Songwriter, Creator of Thrifted Sister YouTube Channel

Sat, 21 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Part 1 of Tony Overbay's 2-part interview with Au…

Ep50 Guilt and Shame, Tools to Keep These Emotions From Running Your Life

Mon, 16 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Tony tackles the topic of the destructive duo, gu…

Ep49 Woody Woods, Author of Conquer Your Dragons, On Overcoming Obstacles in Life

Sun, 08 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Adam Friday “Woody” Woods is a motivational speak…

Ep48 BONUS EPISODE Tony Overbay’s Appearance on Jody Moore’s Better than Happy Podcast

Tue, 03 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

On March 9th, 2018 I had the privilege of being i…

Ep47 How To Make Better Decisions w/Nate Christensen, APCC

Sun, 01 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Friend and current grad student Nate Christensen …

Ep46 Co-parenting, Divorce and Blended Families w/Kristen & Ryan Jibson Remarried Therapists

Mon, 26 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Kristen and Ryan Jibson are both therapists worki…

Ep45 Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Relationship and Sexuality Counselor on Women and Sexuality

Sun, 18 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-fife (http://www.finlayson…

Ep44 BONUS EPISODE Ashley Noelle Intimacy/Relationship Coach

Wed, 14 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Special BONUS episode of the Virtual Couch. A cou…

Ep43 Sleep! How to Create Better Sleep Hygiene, Help for Insomniacs, And Debunking Sleep Myths

Sun, 11 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

For nearly half of all adults, sleep can be a pro…

Ep42 Embracing the “Spills” of Life, A Guide to Better Parenting, and being a better Human!

Sun, 04 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Things you didn’t plan are going to happen in lif…

Ep41 The 5 Love Languages, How to Better Connect with Your Partner

Wed, 28 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Back in 1995, PhD and Marriage Therapist Gary Cha…

Ep40 Parenting Help ASAP - 4 Big Rock Items w/Pastor Chris Jung of Summit Church

Mon, 26 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Does the job of parenting often feel overwhelming…

Ep39 Power! Why Power Tends to Corrupt, the Paradox of Power, Nice Guys Finish First

Thu, 22 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Power! Can power be used for good, or is power in…

Ep38 Losing a Parent to Cancer and 5 Stages of Grief and Loss with Aspen Drake

Sun, 18 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Aspen Drake, host of the podcast Loss For Words, …

Ep37 William Pullen, Author 'Running with Mindfulness' on Dynamic Running Therapy

Tue, 13 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

William Pullen, author of the book Running with M…

Ep36 Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating with Caitlin Markham AMFT

Mon, 12 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Caitlin Markham, Associate Marriage and Family Th…

Ep35 Marriage Help with Pastor Chris Jung 4 Practical Tips For a Better Marriage

Thu, 08 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Tony Overbay sits down with Summit Christian Chur…

Ep34 Jody Moore aka Bold New Mom on Motivation, Hope and Change

Mon, 05 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Jody Moore is a life coach, writer, podcast host …

Ep33 Lying, From Compulsive to Pathological, What We Know About Dishonesty

Thu, 01 Feb 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Studies show that we tell lies every day. Some ar…

Ep32 Anxiety - Signs, Symptoms and Tools, Get Help Now! With Shelly Aldrich, LMFT

Sat, 27 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Shelly Aldrich, LMFT, and one of the founders of …

Ep31 Narcissism 101 Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Thu, 25 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

There’s a lot of talk in the news of narcissism. …

Ep30 Julie Christensen Psychic Medium and Intuitive Counselor pt2

Sun, 21 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Part 2 of Tony's interview with psychic medium an…

Ep29 Julie Christensen Psychic Medium and Intuitive Counselor pt1

Wed, 17 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Julie Christensen is a licensed marriage and fami…

Ep28 Impostor Syndrome! Your Negative Thoughts are Simply Stories!

Mon, 15 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

What is “Impostor Syndrome” and how is it affecti…

Ep27 Author Joshua Shea on his book "The Addiction Nobody Will Talk About"

Thu, 11 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Tony interviews Joshua Shea, Joshua is the author…

Ep26 Improve Your Marriage with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Tony Overbay pt1

Wed, 03 Jan 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Tony gives an outline of the evidence-based coupl…

Ep25 Become a Better Parent Today! The Nurtured Heart Approach

Wed, 27 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Learn how to be a better, more effective parent w…

Ep24 The Do's and Don'ts of Setting New Year's Resolutions

Wed, 20 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tis' the season...for setting New Year's Resoluti…

Ep23 How to Be an AMAZING Parent with Parenting Magic's Robyn Copa

Mon, 18 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Parenting Magic's Robyn Copa moves from the inter…

Ep22 Is Pornography an Addiction? Porn's Effects on the Brain, Tony's Tools for Hope

Tue, 12 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Is pornography an addiction? Some scientists argu…

Ep21 Big in Japan - Derek Wessman, American Host of Japanese TV, Politics

Wed, 06 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony talks with Derek Wessman, an American living…

Ep20 Monday Mailbag Q&A Favorite Children, When Too Late For Job Change, Internet Filtering Software

Mon, 04 Dec 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony answers a couple of frequently asked questio…

Ep19 Ultrarunning Legend Nikki Kimball Discusses Her Battle with Depression

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Nikki Kimball, one of the greatest ultra runners …

Ep18 Teaching Kids Empathy Plus Marriage Tips w/Robyn Copa of Parenting Magic

Mon, 27 Nov 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony plays the audio portion of his interview wit…

Ep17 Identifying & Setting Healthy Boundaries w/Shauna Roberts LMFT

Wed, 22 Nov 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Shauna Roberts makes her 2nd appearance on The Vi…

Ep16 Mikela Olsen Former Pro Baseball Player and Coach on Youth Sport and Mental Toughness pt1

Fri, 17 Nov 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Mikela Olsen, former professional baseball player…

Ep15 Chronic Pain w/Darlene Davis MFT

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 15:23:00 +0000

Darlene Davis, LMFT, joins Tony to talk about her…

Ep14 Couples Counseling, Rebuilding Trust with Dr. Sean Davis

Mon, 13 Nov 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Dr. Sean Davis, PhD, founder of thedavisgroup.org…

Ep13 Pornography - Info, Effects, and How To Talk About it With Your Family

Mon, 30 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony explains why we need to have conversations a…

Ep12 Raising Your Emotional Baseline Will Change Your Life

Thu, 26 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony describes the Emotional Baseline and how rai…

Ep11 ANGER!! You May Be Making it Worse w/Shauna Roberts, LMFT plus Q&A

Sun, 22 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Shauna Roberts, LMFT, joins Tony to answer your q…

Ep10 Confessions of a Stay At Home Dad URP Podcast Host Eric Schranz

Thu, 19 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Ultra Runner Podcast Host Eric Schranz joins Tony…

Depression w/Paul Gilmartin Host of Mental Illness Happy Hour

Mon, 16 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Paul Gilmartin, comedian, and host of the Mental …

Cuyamaca 100k Race Report - Special

Mon, 09 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

In this special “race report” episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony talks about his experience running the Cuyamaca 100k (63.3 mile race) on Saturday focusing particularly on how he “mindfulnessed the heck” out of the race having toe’d the starting line with the least amount of preparation in his 20 plus years of running. He answers questions that listeners have asked about ultra marathon running, and weaves in some life lessons from competing in ultra marathons including the awareness example involving a 4-door Porsche and his somewhat-girly-looking bug!

You can learn more about Tony Overbay's Virtual Couch podcast by visiting http://virtualcouch.xyz or by visiting http://tonyoverbay.com

You can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

And, if you are having trouble finding professional counseling in your area, consider Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch Betterhelp.com is the world's leading provider of online therapy. Their mission is to make professional counseling accessible, affordable, and convenient, so anyone who struggles with life's challenges can get help, anytime, anywhere. Head to http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch for 10% off your first month of services.

Overcome Feeling Stuck and Solving Life Problems

Tue, 03 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

In this episode Tony talks about how to tackle major problems in life that can cause you to feel stuck. He gives 6 steps for getting “unstuck” and he shares how to implement these steps in your life. He also share a story of how he found myself the recipient of nearly 200 magazine subscriptions during his freshman year of college!

SPECIAL RECORDING - Las Vegas Tragedy How to Process with Teens and Children

Sun, 01 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

As I woke up today to the news of the tragedy in Las Vegas I felt impressed to record a short podcast to share a few thoughts on processing tragedy with your teens and children. I believe it is imperative to help them not only work though the myriad of emotions that I am sure they are and will be feeling, but it is equally important to try and help them look for hope moving forward.

Habits, How to Break Bad Habits and Create New Habits

Mon, 25 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

In this episode Tony shares his one-man mission to debunk the biggest myth in the world of habit change. This episode is sure to change your opinion on what it takes to create new habits and give you hope that you, too, can create new habits even if you feel like you’ve been unsuccessful in the past. Tony also shares a story about “getting the fudge first” aka the one-hour Disneyland shopper’s pass.

Living with a Narcissist with Tina Fuller, Author of "It's My Turn"

Mon, 18 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo

Unwanted Thoughts - How to Get Rid of Them

Thu, 14 Sep 2017 15:02:00 +0000

In this episode Tony answers questions about whether or not your therapist, or your dentist or your gardener is judging you (hint, yes, yes they are!) plus he shares a story of being locked out of his hotel room. And learn how common unwanted thoughts are, whether people are willing to admit to them or not, and what to do with them.

You can learn more about Tony Overbay's Virtual Couch podcast by visiting http://virtualcouch.xyz or by visiting http://tonyoverbay.com

You can find out more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com

Become More Self Aware, How to Be Honest with Yourself

Tue, 05 Sep 2017 15:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Tony answers a question about what to do when you are feeling depressed and why it is important to be completely honest with yourself. Too often we don't want to admit our struggles because we feel "broken." Tony explains that understanding ourselves and the struggles we have give us power to then work through our problems.

How to Effectively Talk To Your Teenager

Tue, 29 Aug 2017 16:49:00 +0000

In Episode 1 of the Virtual Couch podcast Tony answers a couple of questions including one on the correct age to talk with your kids about the birds and the bees. And then he shares some advice "from the therapist's chair" on how to talk to your teenagers so that they will feel like they can come to you when they are having problems.

The Virtual Couch Podcast is Launching Soon!

Thu, 24 Aug 2017 16:10:00 +0000

The Virtual Couch podcast is launching soon! The …