Evolutionary Men

Say the Damn Thing: Intuitive Expression for Men (with Benjamin Roth & Jeff Raab)

Wed, 18 Mar 2026 18:26:27 +0000

In this episode I bring on Benjamin Roth and Jeff Raab to explore how improv and theater work can help men get out of their heads and into their bodies. We talk about the courage it takes to make bold choices without overthinking, how to stay present when you cant control the outcome, and why developing comfort with failure might be one of the most important masculine capacities for navigating life and relationships.

Join the online workshop Sunday March 29th at 1pm Pacific.

The Guests

Benjamin Roth participated in the first cohort of Evolutionary Men’s Pillars of Presence. He is part of the main faculty at the LA-based improv studio Improv for the People, where he has taught for 8 years. He is passionate about combining his improv background with years of practice in mindfulness, embodiment and authentic relating to support others in cultivating their unique personal expression to have better relationships with themselves and with others.

Jeff Raab completed the Heart of Shadow program in 2025. He is a theater artist and educator, performing professionally all over the country and teaching theater students of all ages. He is a certified Miller Voice Method teacher, and teaches Voice and Diction in the Theater Department at Southern Connecticut State University. He holds an MFA in Classical Acting, trained Clown and Commedia dell’Arte at the Dell’Arte School of Physical Theatre, and is certified in energy healing practices including Shamanism and Reiki. Everything he does is ultimately in service of activating creativity and empowering authenticity. www.jeffreymichaelraab.com.

The Heart of Shadow for Women (with Violet Lange & Luke Adler)

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 19:45:54 +0000

After more than 3 years and 7 cohorts of The Heart of Shadow program and retreat for men, Luke and I are thrilled to be teaming up with my wife Violet to bring the experience to women.

Many of the men that work with us ask how they can support their partners and the women in their life, and we're thrilled to say we think The Heart of Shadow for Women is one of those ways!

The three of us talk about shadow work and the many ways its the same for men and women, and the many ways it's different!

Learn more about the Heart of Shadow for Women at https://heartofshadow.com/women

How to Find the Right Couples Therapist (with Ryan Ginn)

Sat, 20 Dec 2025 17:21:52 +0000

In this episode I bring on my friend and practicing couples therapist Ryan Ginn to break down what separates great couples therapy from a waste of your time and money. If you've ever felt like you and your partner were just venting to a silent witness every session, or you're trying to figure out where to even start looking for the right fit, this one's for you.

Ryan and I get into the leadership quality you want from a therapist, why nervous system training matters way more than just talking about your problems, and how to know when it's time to find someone new. We also cover the trap of litigating the past, what it means to actually train your relational capacity in session, and the willingness both partners need to bring for any of it to work.

Learn more about Ryan at https://ryanginn.com and https://www.beingmen.net/

Lead your relationship with more depth in my Pillars of Presence program

Reconnect, Repair, and Reignite your relationship at via 12 Epic Dates and Evolutionary Couples

Shadow Work for When You Can't Say What You Feel (with Luke Adler)

Sun, 14 Dec 2025 14:33:34 +0000

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler, my co-facilitator in the Heart of Shadow program, to dive into shadow work for one of the most common struggles I see in men: knowing what you feel but not being able to say it. That chasm between awareness and expression, between what's happening inside and actually moving sound through your body and into a conversation. We break down why so many of us freeze when it matters most and what's actually underneath that freeze.

We explore the origin stories of why our nervous systems learned to lock things up in the first place, the difference between vulnerability and transparency, and why a men's group is often the only place where you can finally practice bringing yourself forward in a way that actually sticks. If you've ever had words stuck in your throat with a partner, struggled to have a hard conversation, or just felt like something is blocked between what you know and what you can say, this one's for you.

Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at https://heartofshadow.com

Shadow Work for Better Sex (with Luke Adler)

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 17:24:08 +0000

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore how shadow work can transform your sex life. We dig into why so many men use ejaculation as their primary emotional release tool and what happens when sex becomes responsible for making us feel better. We unpack the connection between safety, relaxation, and arousal, and why performance anxiety often stems from deeper places we don't want to look at. We also explore what shifts when sex becomes an expression of connection rather than a destination to escape to. If you've ever wondered why "better sex" isn't about technique, this one's for you.

Shadow work creates the capacity to feel more, stay present, and stop using sex to discharge what we haven't learned to process. When we release our partners from the burden of managing our emotional lives, something opens up. And when we have a group of men to hold our vulnerability, we stop needing our intimate relationships to do all that work. The path to better sex runs through your gut, your heart, and the shadows you've been avoiding.

Join the next Heart of Shadow cohort at heartofshadow.com

Watch on Youtube

What Season is Your Relationship In? (with Violet Lange)

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 14:00:56 +0000

In this episode my wife Violet and I break down why your relationship can’t always be sunny and perfect—and why that’s actually a good thing. We walk through the four seasons of relationships and the reality of how different parts of your partnership can be in completely different seasons at the same time. Your sex life might be in spring while your emotional connection is in winter, and not knowing that can keep you confused about what’s actually going wrong.

If you’ve ever wondered why the spark faded or why connection feels harder than it used to, this episode will help you understand what’s actually happening—and what to do about it before you lose years to autopilot.

Join our free connection date night for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus

Learn more about our programs Evolutionary Couples and 12 Epic Dates at https://evolutionarycouples.us

Shadow Work for Anxiety & Worry (with Luke Adler)

Wed, 05 Nov 2025 13:39:07 +0000

In this episode Luke and I dive into the shadow of worry and rumination that keeps so many men trapped in their heads. We break down why living from the shoulders up isn't strength, it's avoidance. You'll hear about the subtle ways fear masquerades as logic, how productivity can become procrastination, and why jacking off might be your nervous system's go-to discharge pattern. We get into the real work of traversing from your head to your heart to your guts, and why community isn't optional for this journey.

Find out about the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

The Five Scariest Moments in Our Relationship (with Violet Lange)

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 13:41:58 +0000

In this episode my wife Violet and I share the five scariest moments in our relationship. These weren't just hard conversations or minor disagreements, but the moments where both of us genuinely questioned whether we'd make it, whether we'd chosen the right partner, or whether we were trapped in patterns we couldn't escape. We get specific about what actually happened, the deep fears underneath each crisis, and the exact moves that allowed us to work through the terror instead of letting it end things.

If you've ever had that gut-punch moment in your relationship where you think "is this it, is this over?" then listen in! Every long-term couple hits these inflection points where fear can either derail everything or become the catalyst for deeper trust and connection. Tune in to learn how we did it, what we'd do differently, and why these scary moments became some of the most important turning points in building a relationship that actually works.

Join our FREE CONNECTION DATE NIGHT for couples at https://evolutionarycouples.us/evolutionofus

Go on 12 Epic Dates and/or do the Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.us

Why So Many Good Men Feel Empty

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 18:32:15 +0000

In this episode I explore why so many good men still feel a quiet emptiness even when life looks full. We get into what’s really underneath the loneliness men carry today, and how brotherhood, real connection with men who both see you and call you higher, brings life back into your system.

This isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about remembering what makes you come alive again.

Join a men's group at https://mens.group now

Navigating High-Conflict Divorce for Men (with Karen McMahon)

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 15:28:37 +0000

In this episode I sit down with Karen McMahon, a high-conflict divorce strategist who's been guiding men and women through one of the most painful transitions of their lives since 2010. Karen specializes in working with nice guys who are stuck in volatile marriages, paralyzed by guilt about leaving their kids or fear that their partner will harm themselves if they go.

We dig into why staying in an unhealthy marriage actually teaches your kids that conflict and disconnection are what intimate love looks like, how the legal system often fails men, and the specific inner work that's required to navigate divorce without losing yourself in the process. Karen breaks down the difference between codependent caretaking and healthy boundaries, why so many men struggle with receiving, and how breaking generational chains starts with you doing your healing work now.

Learn more about Karen's offerings at Journey Beyond Divorce

Join a Men's Group:

Shock Absorbers for Your Life

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 15:00:55 +0000

In this episode I break down one of the most powerful investments you can make in yourself as a man: your social capital. Most men grind through life alone, trying to figure everything out by themselves, and it's killing us. The antidote is simple but countercultural: a men's group, a circle of guys you meet with regularly who actually give a shit about you and your life.

I introduce the metaphor of shock absorbers to explain what this kind of community actually does for you when life gets rocky. Tune in to learn why the sooner you start building these relationships the bigger the dividends over time, and why this type of connection is something that can never be bought, only built.

Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.com

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

Shadow Work for Depression (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 15:28:19 +0000

In this episode, Luke and I dive into what's really behind male depression. We explore why the things men typically do to feel better often make the stuckness worse, and then reveal the powerful connection between depression and unexpressed anger. Luke goes deeper and breaks down the physiology of depression from a Chinese medicine perspective setting the stage for how shadow work in men's groups can be a powerful medicine for metabolizing depression.

Join the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat at heartofshadow.com

Shadow Work for Nice Guys (with Luke Adler)

Sat, 06 Sep 2025 13:57:21 +0000

In this episode I dive into the hidden roots of nice guy syndrome along with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler. We explore how being a "nice guy" is actually one of six primitive nervous system survival responses rooted in fear of losing connection. Luke and I share vulnerable stories about how this shows up and why shadow work is the real pathway out.

We break down why cognitive strategies aren't enough and how the consistent presence of loving masculine energy through men's groups becomes the medicine that allows nice guys to drop the people-pleasing patterns and reclaim their authentic power.

Break free from your nice guy syndrome and join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)
Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

3 Ways Men Disconnect (and the Fix)

Thu, 21 Aug 2025 14:00:10 +0000

In this episode I break down the three types of disconnection that are crushing men right now and leading to depression, stuckness, and a sense that something's just off in life. I walk through what each of these disconnections looks like, why they're so common, and most importantly, what men can actually do to reconnect and start feeling alive again.

If you're feeling stuck, depressed, or like you're just going through the motions, this episode will help you figure out what's really going on and give you a clear path forward.

Get Connected to self, other, and nature at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat (https://evolutionary.men/retreat/)
Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group and Retreat (https://heartofshadow.com)
Join the virtual Men's Group Experience 12 week men's group (https://mens.group)
Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community (https://evolutionary.men/discuss)

Inherited Wounds: Tend the Land, Heal Men (with Roy Arthur Blodgett)

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 18:22:34 +0000

In this episode I chat with naturalist and poet Roy Arthur Blodgett to face what men inherit: numbness, isolation, and a grim overculture of masculinity. We get into men and land, how the wild helped Roy feel most himself, and what shifts when we stop spectating and start participating. We talk land literacy, seeing patterns of succession, the fear of causing harm that keeps men frozen, and the power of choosing responsibility anyway.

Follow Roy at www.royarthurblodgett.com

Join me and Roy and get your hands dirty with some land work at the next Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat/

Then face the shadows of your lineage in the next Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow/

My Top 16 Men's Group/Work Moments

Thu, 07 Aug 2025 14:47:13 +0000

In this episode, I get personal and share about my top 16 moments that I've gotten to experience that's to men's work, all stemming from men's groups, retreats, and community (and in no particular order).

These are all experiences that have enriched my life beyond measure, and were all possible because of the depth of connection I've cultivated with incredible men in my life.

Start building your band of brothers and come to the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat

Then go even deeper with the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

The Seduction of Victim Masculinity (with Luke Adler)

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 17:43:57 +0000

In this episode, Luke and I explore the complex narratives surrounding masculinity, particularly the idea of victimhood among men. We dig into the cultural reflections of masculinity, the evolution of men's roles, and the importance of shadow work in reclaiming agency and responsibility from the oh so alluring victim masculinity being sold these days.

Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.com

Attend the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat at evolutionary.men/retreat

The New Standard for Powerful Men

Fri, 25 Jul 2025 13:30:11 +0000

In this episode, I dive into what I believe is the new standard for powerful men: taking responsibility for our pain. Whether it’s personal, ancestral, or collective, owning our wounds is what separates conscious men from those stuck in blame or avoidance. I explore how trauma lives in the nervous system, how patterns are passed down through generations, and why the work of healing, though uncomfortable, is ultimately the path to true power, presence, and leadership.

Held by Men, Forged by the Fire (with Ted Riter)

Fri, 18 Jul 2025 14:20:28 +0000

In this episode, I sit down with my longtime brother and mentor Ted Riter for a conversation that goes straight into the heart of sacred masculinity, grief, and transformation. Ted is a former rabbi turned spiritual guide and relationship coach who brings over 30 years of wisdom into the space of men’s work, intimacy, and embodiment.

We explore how a collapse in his life led him to the very work he now teaches—how grief, shame, and mistrust of men became gateways into deeper integrity, love, and purpose. Ted shares how his lineage ultimately became a foundation for the spiritual and relational depth he offers today. We also chat about the sacredness of men’s circles, the difference between nice and loving challenge, and why decentralization and shared responsibility are the future of men’s groups.

Connect with Ted:

Website: tedriter.com

Instagram: @tedridertalks

GET INVOLVED WITH EVOLUTIONARY MEN

Join our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over to book your spot now.
Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout Men’s Group Experience or The Heart of Shadow
Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our Pillars of Presence program
Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at here

Polarity is the Easy Part

Fri, 11 Jul 2025 14:33:27 +0000

In this episode I unpack why mastering sexy hacks like alpha-drops and breath orgasms is just the tip of the iceberg. I explore how childhood attachment wounds, body neglect, and unprocessed relational pain set the real limits on your erotic charge, and I explain why the hard, unsexy healing work—therapy, men’s groups, shadow work, and nervous-system rehab—is the game-changer for lasting safety, trust, and deep connection.

Join our LIVE retreat: August 28th – September 1st in Northern California. You’ll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over to book your spot now.
Learn the foundations of masculine presence and remove your blocks to polarity via our Pillars of Presence program
Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout Men’s Group Experience or The Heart of Shadow
Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at here

How to AI-Proof Yourself as a Man

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 13:48:01 +0000

In this episode, I explore four core capacities every man needs to start cultivating to stay vital and grounded in an AI-powered world. This isn’t science fiction—AI is already shaping how we live, relate, and make choices. I talk about the rising influence of automation, and four essential tools for thriving as a man in the world that is now here. If you want to stay human, creative, and trustworthy in a culture increasingly driven by AI, listen in now.

Get offline and the build these capacities at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat.

August 28th - September 1st in Northern California. You'll walk away deeply embodied in your power, more connected to other men, and nourished by great food and inspiring nature. Head over to https://evolutionary.men/retreat to book your spot now.

The Gift of Shame (with Dr. Keith Witt)

Fri, 27 Jun 2025 15:05:26 +0000

Shame isn’t something to get rid of—it’s something to work with. And when we do, it can become one of the most powerful tools for growth, integrity, and connection in a man’s life.

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Keith Witt—psychologist, author, and one of the most seasoned men I’ve had the privilege of learning from—to unpack the deeper function of shame and how it shapes our values, our relationships, and the kind of men we become. We explore how shame, when related to consciously, actually guides us back to our wholeness.

But we don’t stop there.

We also dive into the developmental arc of the masculine—from boyhood, to acolyte, to warrior, to man of wisdom—and why so many men get stuck along the way. We talk about the power of men’s groups, what creates true ownership and leadership, and why decentralization might just be the key to building lasting brotherhood.

Join the next cohort of the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.group
Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at https://heartofshadow.com
Join the Evolutionary Men Labor Day retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat

ABOUT DR. KEITH WITT

Learn more about Dr. Keith Witt (and get all his books for free!) at https://drkeithwitt.com/

Savage & Saint (with Michael Holt)

Sat, 31 May 2025 12:45:00 +0000

In this episode, I drop in with Michael Holt, founder of the Savage and Saint Collective. We explore what it really means to live as a whole man—one who’s both deeply sensitive and unapologetically strong.

Michael shares his path from violence, rage, and addiction to embodiment, service, and sacred discipline. We talk about why the healed masculine isn’t soft, how true spiritual practice requires savage commitment, and why being dangerous and loving are not opposites—they’re necessary partners.

If you’ve ever wondered what it actually looks like to hold both primal power and deep presence, this one’s for you.

Learn more about Michael and subscribe to his free email course at https://savageandsaint.com

Join a virtual Evolutionary Men group via the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.group

What Therapy and Coaching Can’t Give Men

Tue, 27 May 2025 18:53:06 +0000

In this episode, I unpack the concept of men’s groups as the essential “third way”—a relational container that fills the gaps left by coaching and therapy. Drawing on personal experience and cultural insight, I explore how these groups serve as both a third place and a missing medicine for modern men—offering brotherhood, real-time feedback, and deep presence in a peer-led structure. With loneliness, isolation, and performative masculinity on the rise, I make the case that decentralized men’s groups aren’t just helpful—they’re revolutionary.

Join a virtual group via the Men's Group Experience at https://mens.group

Awakening the Masculine Spirit (with Amir Khalighi)

Fri, 23 May 2025 14:57:18 +0000

In this episode, I'm joined by my friend and brother in the men's work space Amir Khalighi. He shares his journey into men's work, discussing the importance of somatic healing and the role of community in personal growth. He emphasizes the need for men to reconnect with their true selves and the natural world, highlighting the challenges they face in today's society. Amir defines 'Embodied Masculine' as a unique approach that integrates somatic and shamanic practices, aiming to empower men to live purposefully and authentically. We explore the evolving landscape of masculinity, emphasizing the importance of men's circles, vulnerability, and the reclamation of feminine energy. Amir highlights the dangers of disconnected masculinity and the necessity for men to find their purpose within a community, ultimately advocating for a balanced approach to leadership that embraces both strength and vulnerability.

More about Amir Khalighi at embodiedmasculine.com

Learn more about Men's Group Experience and join Evolutionary Men at https://mens.group

Men's Group Experience

Tue, 20 May 2025 13:29:28 +0000

In this episode, I share the deeper “why” behind launching my new program, Men’s Group Experience—and what I’ve learned after decades in the trenches of men’s work.

Yes, I’ve talked before about the power of decentralized men’s groups. But this conversation goes further. This one’s about what actually sustains a group—beyond the structure. What makes men stay, show up fully, and build something real together? I explore the difference between just “being in a group” and fully owning your seat in circle.

I also break down what inspired me to create this new offering, how it builds on everything I’ve learned from leading and being part of men’s groups for over 20 years, and why now is the moment to reclaim this kind of brotherhood.

If you've been circling around this work but haven’t taken the leap—or if you’ve done some groups but they didn’t stick—this is your invitation.

The Men’s Group Experience is a 12-week, no-BS initiation into what it actually means to be in a functional, supportive, and sustainable men’s group. You’ll get the framework, the practices, and the chance to keep your group going indefinitely—with or without me.

Learn more about Men's Group Experience and join us at https://mens.group

How to Become a Dangerous Man (with Tripp Lanier)

Fri, 16 May 2025 16:23:05 +0000

In this episode, I reconnect with one of the most important men in my journey—my first men’s coach, Tripp Lanier. We dive into a rich conversation around what it means to be a man today, the traps so many of us fall into with comfort and surface-level success, and why emotional intelligence isn’t optional anymore—it’s essential.

We explore what it means to be a dangerous man—the kind that comes from being truly alive and present, not just posturing or playing a role. Tripp shares hard-won insights from his book This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and we unpack why vulnerability, real connection, and doing the inner work are the gateway to actual freedom.

This one’s about breaking the mold, reclaiming our power, and leaning into the kind of masculinity that doesn’t run from feeling, but turns toward it. If you’re on the path—or ready to be—this conversation is a potent reminder of what’s possible when men come together and get real.

Ready to experience the power of a virtual men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.group

Experience a group in person with the Heart of Shadow at heartofshadow.com

About Tripp:

Tripp Lanier is a professional coach, author of This Book Will Make You Dangerous, and host of The New Man Podcast: Beyond the Macho Jerk and the New Age Wimp which — for over a decade — has been downloaded millions of times.

The Marlboro Trap (with Luke Adler)

Mon, 12 May 2025 14:35:06 +0000

In this episode, I sit down with my friend and collaborator Luke to unpack the enduring myth of the Marlboro Man—and how it’s still shaping men’s lives today. We explore the fantasy of the rugged, independent cowboy and how it feeds into the “lone wolf” mentality so many men have been conditioned to admire. Luke shares some powerful reflections from his own background in Western culture and rural communities, where this archetype is alive and well. Together, we shine a light on the emotional cost of stoicism, the pressure to “just get to work,” and the way this legacy leaves so many men isolated and unsupported. This conversation is a call to reevaluate what real strength looks like—and how connection, not detachment, might just be the most courageous thing a man can choose.

Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.group

Join the Heart of Shadow at heartofshadow.com

No More Mr. Lone Wolf (with Dr. Robert Glover)

Thu, 08 May 2025 18:38:40 +0000

In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Robert Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy, to explore the root causes of why so many men feel stuck, frustrated, and disconnected—and what actually works to break that cycle. We dive into the cost of being a “nice guy,” how men’s groups offer a new form of masculine initiation, and why real brotherhood—not therapy, not status, not hustle—is often the missing piece for men.

Robert shares his personal story of transformation, how No More Mr. Nice Guy came to life, and the rise of a decentralized men’s movement that’s quietly changing lives around the world. We talk shame, leadership, male friendship, and why emotional honesty is the foundation of everything men are looking for—whether it’s a better relationship, more purpose, or real peace inside.

If you’ve ever felt alone, lost, or like you’re doing all the “right” things but still not feeling fulfilled—this conversation will hit home.

Learn more about Robert’s work and community at https://drglover.com

Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Checkout the Men's Group Experience now at https://mens.group

Why Success Alone Won’t Save You (with Luke Adler)

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 03:10:57 +0000

In this episode, I’m joined once again by my brother-in-arms Dr. Luke Adler to dive into something a little different: a reaction and commenting on a recent Diary of a CEO episode featuring Logan Ury and Scott Galloway.

We discuss the external challenges facing men today — loneliness, economic shifts, the dating gap — while highlighting the deeper root causes we see in our work: emotional illiteracy, the collapse of brotherhood, and the loss of true masculine initiation. We lay out why pursuing excellence and money alone isn’t enough, and what it actually takes for men to thrive in the modern world. This one’s packed — tune in.

Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.com

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

Building a Men’s Group That Lasts for Life

Fri, 18 Apr 2025 13:30:00 +0000

In this episode, I break down one of the biggest keys to creating a men’s group that actually lasts: decentralization.

I get into why most top-down, subscription-style men’s groups eventually fall apart, why ownership matters more than convenience, and how shared leadership creates real brotherhood that sticks through every season of life.

I also share some personal stories — including how one of my very first men’s groups has been meeting for 14 years — and why decentralized groups aren’t just better… they’re the future of men’s work.

If you’re serious about finding your tribe and building something that lasts, this one’s for you.

Want support starting or deepening your own men’s group journey? Checkout mens.group or heartofshadow.com

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

Purpose, Love, and Wounding (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 11 Apr 2025 16:52:28 +0000

In this episode I’m once again joined by my co-facilitator and brother in the work, Dr. Luke Adler. We go deep into the energetic anatomy of wounding—mapping how blocked emotion and stagnation impact a man’s ability to access both love and purpose.

Luke shares powerful insights from decades of working with Eastern medicine and energy systems, particularly around the polarity between the heart and reproductive center. We talk about how those two forces must be in communication for us to feel alive, directed, and connected—and what happens when the system gets clogged or shut down.

We also explore why protection isn’t the enemy, how fear gates purpose, and what it really means to tend the fire inside. If you’ve been feeling stuck, numb, or like your spark is fading, this is one to listen to.

Join us for the next Heart of Shadow cohort at heartofshadow.com.

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

What Are You Grounding Into?

Fri, 04 Apr 2025 14:00:00 +0000

What does it really mean for us men to get grounded? In this episode, I explore the crucial distinction between momentary grounding as a state experience versus what you're actually grounding into - the relationships, community, and life structures that catch you when you can't catch yourself. Most guys miss this entirely, focusing on quick fixes rather than building the root system that creates true stability and power as a man.

Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Get on the waitlist for the Men's Group Experience at mens.group

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community at evolutionary.men/discuss

Brotherhood: The Missing Nutrient (with Luke Adler)

Wed, 26 Mar 2025 18:31:51 +0000

In this episode I'm joined by Dr. Luke Adler to explore what we call "the masculine vortex" - that transformative space where men find healing through authentic connection. We discuss how masculine love provides the safety for men to let go of performance and truly be seen, creating a profound sense of belonging many have never experienced. Luke and I reveal the key elements that make our Heart of Shadow work so effective, where vulnerability becomes strength and pain becomes purpose. This isn't just about personal healing - it's about revolutionizing how men relate to each other and the world.

Learn about the Heart of Shadow program.

Like the Podcast? Join the Discussion Community!

Turbocharge Your Growth with Masculine Feedback

Fri, 14 Mar 2025 15:21:22 +0000

In this episode I reveal how honest feedback from trusted brothers turbocharges male growth. "Carefrontation" breaks through limiting patterns and accelerates your journey toward authenticity. Real transformation happens when men confront each other with genuine care rather than criticism. Your path to becoming your best self begins with finding men brave enough to reflect your blind spots.

Ready to experience the power of a men's group? Get on the waitlist for the Men's Group Experience.

Two Things Every Man Craves & Needs

Thu, 06 Mar 2025 18:01:46 +0000

In this episode I explore two fundamental needs that every man craves: purpose and belonging, and how joining a men's group can fulfill these essential needs. I discuss how purpose gives men a sense that their presence matters and impacts the world positively, while belonging provides the deep connection and sense of community that many men are missing in modern life. I explain how participating in a men's group offers both a tangible purpose through showing up for other men, and creates genuine belonging through sustained, intimate connections with fellow group members over time.

Head over to mens.group if you want to experience more purpose and belonging!a

How to Become an Anti-Fragile Man (with Luke Adler)

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 14:30:00 +0000

In this episode, Dr. Luke Adler and I discuss the concept of anti-fragility as it relates to men's shadow work and personal development. We explore how anti-fragility goes beyond mere resilience, and is a state where challenges and stressors actually strengthen and energize rather than deplete. We highlight how the Heart of Shadow program can be an engine for anti-fragility for men by transmuting difficult emotions and experiences into vitality and connection. With this capacity, suddenly life's challenges become opportunities for growth and vitality rather than sources of breakdown.

The Weakness of Macho Men

Fri, 07 Feb 2025 14:15:00 +0000

In this episode, I explore the fundamental weakness of macho men and the "tough guy" culture that promotes isolation and emotional suppression. I explain how every man will eventually face physical challenges or illness that they can't simply "push through," revealing the critical importance of having a strong support system. Learn why posturing is still fear based and what you can do instead.

Learn more and find a men's group at evolutionary.men

Pick a Lens for Your Year

Wed, 08 Jan 2025 19:12:17 +0000

In this episode, I share a powerful practice of choosing an annual "lens" - a perspective through which to view and experience your life throughout the year. I explain how this differs from traditional goal-setting, as a lens simply offers a way to reframe experiences rather than something you can succeed or fail at, using examples from my own journey. I describe how this practice has transformed both major life decisions and everyday moments, helping me navigate challenges, make bold choices, and experience life in fresh ways. I conclude by inviting listeners to try this practice themselves, either individually or through my guided workshop, emphasizing how a carefully chosen lens can bring novelty, energy and new possibilities to any situation.

Join the 2025 Quarterly Workshop series https://evolutionary.men/lens/

Three Things Stealing Your Energy

Wed, 18 Dec 2024 20:16:51 +0000

In this episode I dive deep into the three major energy drains affecting men today and share how to reclaim your vitality. Drawing from both personal experience and years of coaching, I explore how neglecting body nourishment, suppressing emotions, and mental rumination are secretly depleting your energy reserves. I break down why proper sleep, nutrition, and recovery are non-negotiable foundations, explain how stored emotions create physical tension that exhausts us, and reveal why constant mental chatter is more draining than you think. Whether you're feeling burnt out or simply want to optimize your energy, this episode provides the roadmap to get your power back.

visit heartofshadow.com to reclaim your lifeforce!

From Toxic to Tonic Masculinity

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 18:34:38 +0000

In this episode I explore the concept of tonic masculinity - a positive, generative force that brings vitality and growth to our world. Unlike its pathological counterparts, tonic masculinity represents the unique texture of masculine love that's deeply caring, attuned, and focused on creating positive change. I delve into how this manifestation of masculinity calls forth the best in everyone, creates containers for growth, and serves as a creative force rather than a destructive one. This form of masculinity that doesn't rely on domination or control is desperately needed in our culture, as it empowers others and creates structures that support collective flourishing and safety.

Shadow Work for the Chronically Driven (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 01 Nov 2024 14:41:06 +0000

In this episode, I am joined by Dr. Luke Adler to expose the hidden price of success that's crushing high-achieving men. We reveal why driven professionals can't feel their own exhaustion until it's too late, and share the breakthrough solution we've discovered through our work with countless men. If you're winning at life but feeling empty inside, this conversation could be the wake-up call you've been ignoring. Learn why slowing down might be the most powerful move you'll ever make.

Learn about the Heart of Shadow program.

Own Your Needs Without Being Needy

Fri, 25 Oct 2024 17:16:38 +0000

In this episode, I dive into the crucial distinction between having needs and being needy. Understanding this difference is vital for fostering healthy relationships and ensuring that we connect with the right people in our lives.

The characteristics of neediness and how it can push people away.
The importance of expressing our needs directly and taking ownership of them.
How neediness often stems from a sense of urgency and a lack of clarity.
The empowering nature of owning our needs and the vulnerability it entails.
Practical strategies for cultivating a supportive network to help meet our needs.

Tune in and learn how to transform your approach to needs and neediness for a more fulfilling life!

Can Sex Keep Getting Better in Long-term Relationship? (with Violet Lange)

Wed, 09 Oct 2024 16:19:18 +0000

Discover the secrets to a sizzling sex life that keeps getting better and better year after year! In this episode, Violet and I reveal our sexual journey, sharing candid tips on maintaining erotic energy and emotional connection. Learn why safety, vulnerability, and shared responsibility are the keys to unlocking unparalleled pleasure and deepening your bond. Whether you're struggling with sexual challenges or looking to elevate your passion, this episode can revolutionize your approach to intimacy and reignite the spark in your relationship.

Whether you're newlyweds or celebrating decades together, this episode is your roadmap to unprecedented sexual connection.

Join our LIVE cohort of our Evolutionary Couples program at https://evolutionarycouples.us
Short on time? You can also experience 12 Epic Dates at your own pace and reignite the fire of your relationship

Our Three Biggest Fights as a Couple (with Violet Lange)

Thu, 03 Oct 2024 18:30:25 +0000

In this episode, my wife Violet and I dive deep into the raw, real, and often messy side of relationships by sharing our three biggest fights and lessons from them. From trust issues and emotional disregulation to financial stress and fertility struggles, we explore how rupture and repair are essential for growth in any partnership. We also introduce our new programs, Evolutionary Couples & 12 Epic Dates, designed to help couples build stronger, more resilient relationships through skill-building, emotional connection, and polarity. Tune in for an honest conversation about the challenges of love, and how to navigate them with grace, tools, and support.

Find out more about Evolutionary Couples which starts October 19th and has Early Bird until October 7th, and sign up for 12 Epic Dates anytime at https://evolutionarycouples.us

Evolutionary Couples & 12 Epic Dates (with Violet Lange)

Thu, 19 Sep 2024 20:17:00 +0000

If you only had about 2 hours a week to spend on your relationship, how could you use that time most wisely?

The truth is relationships can be incredibly challenging, especially in today’s fast-paced world where it can be hard to prioritize the relationship. Even when partners deeply love each other, they may face difficulties in maintaining passion, resolving conflicts, and growing together over the long term. Many couples are stuck in unfulfilling patterns, feeling more like roommates than lovers, or constantly bickering over small issues. Without the right tools and support, it’s easy for relationships to stagnate or deteriorate over time.

My wife Violet and I created the Evolutionary Couples program as a structured experience to help couples revitalize their relationships and foster deeper connection. Through 12 carefully designed “epic dates,” couples are guided to explore key areas like communication, intimacy, finances, and shared purpose. The journey provides a mix of themed dates addressing practical issues and polarity dates to reignite passion and play. With options for self-paced learning or a more immersive experience with coaching and community support, couples can choose the level of engagement that works for them. By dedicating just two hours a week to intentional relationship building, partners can develop new skills, heal old wounds, and cultivate a thriving, passionate partnership that just keeps improving over time!

Learn more and sign up at evolutionarycouples.us

It's Better to Be a Nice Guy Than to Be a Dick

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 12:50:00 +0000

In this episode, I challenge the negative perception of "nice guys" in the men's work world. The truth is, being a nice guy is an evolutionary leap in masculinity as it brings online kindness and sensitivity in men. It's not about killing or getting rid of our nice guy, but instead is all about integrating him along with our power.

Master Fluidity to Master Your Life

Thu, 12 Sep 2024 14:36:41 +0000

In this episode I explore reveals three game-changing types of fluidity - nervous system, emotional, and polarity - that can skyrocket your personal growth and relationships. Learn how mastering these skills can help you effortlessly navigate stress, emotions, and social dynamics.

Join the Heart of Shadow Men's Group & Retreat at heartofshadow.com

Stories From Men in the Heart of Shadow (Panel Discussion)

Tue, 03 Sep 2024 17:06:52 +0000

Join Dr. Luke Adler and me in this powerful episode in the Heart of Shadow podcast series as we sit down with three courageous men—Michael, Sean, and Shawn who have undergone the transformative Heart of Shadow program. They open up about their journeys - sharing how the program helped them confront and heal deep-seated anger, fear, and past traumas.

The discussion delves into the unique and powerful process of shadow work, highlighting the profound impact it has had on their relationships, businesses, and personal lives. With candid reflections and inspiring insights, this episode is a must-listen for anyone curious about the life-changing potential of facing one's inner shadows.

Shadow Work Helps Digest Life (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 16 Aug 2024 13:00:56 +0000

In this episode, I'm again joined by my co-facilitator Dr. Luke Adler, a Chinese medicine doctor who's led over 50,000 healing sessions. We discuss the intersection of Chinese medicine and shadow work and delve into the holistic approach of Chinese medicine and its connection to mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. We highlight how physiology and visceral sensations play a vital role in understanding vitality, and how shadow work in essence is how we digest our lives.

Join our next cohort of the Heart of Shadow men's group at heartofshadow.com

The Retreat, Workshop, or Ceremony is the Easy Part

Fri, 09 Aug 2024 14:51:24 +0000

In this episode, I explore the difference between temporary state experiences and permanent stage transformations, emphasizing that while retreats, workshops, and spiritual practices can provide powerful glimpses into new ways of being, the real work lies in integrating these experiences into daily life through consistent effort, community support, and structural changes that facilitate lasting growth.

That said, join me for a live event at my Labor Day Men's Retreat or in the Heart of Shadow program.

The Unique Pain of Debt

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 15:33:42 +0000

In this episode, I delve into the unique pain of debt - be it financial, health, or emotional. I share my personal experiences with credit card debt, weight loss struggles, and tackling years of accumulated clutter to highlight a common thread: the pain and paralysis of facing overwhelming debts in various aspects of life.

I explore the challenging journey of paying off these "debts," highlighting the tension between instant awareness and the time required for real change. Drawing on insights from Ken Wilber, I discuss the difference between "waking up" (instant awareness) and "growing up" (gradual change over time).

The episode touches on:

The allure of quick fixes and why they often fail
The paradox of change happening only in the moment, yet requiring consistent effort over time
The importance of community support in overcoming debt and achieving lasting transformation

I conclude by emphasizing the need for sustained awareness, consistent action, and the value of supportive accountability in navigating the pain of debt and achieving meaningful life changes.

Shadows, Sex, and Showing Up (with Luke Adler)

Sat, 13 Jul 2024 13:24:43 +0000

In this episode, I am joined by Luke Adler as we discuss the raw, unfiltered reality of personal growth and shadow work. We pull back the curtain on our own ongoing struggles with maintaining sexual vitality, showing up for our families, and confronting shame in long-term relationships. We explore how neglecting our core energies can lead to disconnection and unfulfilling patterns. We also dive into the transformative power of leaning into difficult conversations and prioritizing aliveness in our partnerships and parenting.

Join our next cohort of The Heart of Shadow at www.heartofshadow.com

How to Achieve More and Increase Your Impact

Fri, 05 Jul 2024 17:50:09 +0000

In this episode, I tackle a critical mistake in personal development: setting ambitious goals without addressing our nervous system's state. I challenge the "mind over matter" approach, introducing the counterintuitive concept of regulate first and action will follow. By prioritizing nervous system regulation and fostering genuine connection, we create a foundation of safety that enables meaningful risk-taking and sustained growth.

How to Stop Ruminating

Wed, 26 Jun 2024 15:22:23 +0000

Almost every man I work with struggles with either mental or emotional rumination throughout their life. In this episode, I explore 3 strategies to help you stop ruminating as a man.

Get support in person at the Evolutionary Men Labor Day Retreat.

Get support virtually in a Breakthrough Coaching Group.

Why Men Fear Being Vulnerable in Relationship (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 24 May 2024 18:45:30 +0000

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I delve into the nuanced discussion of why men often fear coming forward emotionally, especially in intimate relationships. We explore the idea that while there is a growing expectation for men to be more vulnerable and emotional, there can be a disconnect when men express their emotions and their partners don't respond as expected. We go deep into the changing societal norms around masculinity and the struggles we men encounter as we strive to express our emotions authentically.

The Difference Between Waiting and Resting

Fri, 17 May 2024 13:36:10 +0000

In this episode I break down the subtle but important difference between waiting for permission from the outside to take action, and the much deeper capacity to rest in consciousness until we get a clear signal inside ourselves that it's time to act.

Leadership & Creating Shared Reality

Sat, 11 May 2024 15:02:42 +0000

This episode explores the concept of masculine leadership via creating shared reality. Shared reality involves mutual understanding and connection, minimizing conflict that arises from a lack of being on the same page. This leadership brings structure, clarity, and context to situations, making implicit things explicit and creating safety along the way.

Why Evolutionary Men?

Fri, 03 May 2024 18:23:04 +0000

In this episode, I further bust the lone wolf myth, highlighting how the "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality isn't all we think it to be, and why men grow best in a collective.

Checking In VS Jerking Off (with Luke Adler!)

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 13:00:00 +0000

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow podcast series, Luke Adler and I talk about the habit of men using ejaculation for self-regulation, and how a powerful alternative is to step more into our experience via checking in with a men's group.

Join the Heart of Shadow waitlist at heartofshadow.com

Integrity, Congruence, and Nice Guys

Fri, 19 Apr 2024 12:00:00 +0000

In this episode, I explore the important difference between integrity and congruence, and how crucially important it is to understand the distinction for nice guys.

Better, not Easier

Fri, 12 Apr 2024 20:03:06 +0000

This episode is short and sweet and about the important reframe of focusing on a better, not easier life, and how connection and community are the most powerful ingredients for that to happen.

Why Men Think So Much (with Luke Adler)

Mon, 08 Apr 2024 14:30:13 +0000

In this episode, I chat with my Heart of Shadow co-facilitator Luke Adler about the common experience of men wanting to understand everything and how that's often a way to resist feeling. We go deep into how this can lead to staying in the realm of the mind and avoiding emotional connection. We explore the power of moving from the head to the heart and body to come into our full power as men.

Do the Evolution

Thu, 28 Mar 2024 05:37:45 +0000

Inspired by one of my favorite Pearl Jam songs, in this episode I talk about what it means to "Do the Evolution", and its significance in personal growth and development. Drawing from developmental theory, I explore what it means to "do the work" through the lens of subject-object relations and how our awareness evolves allowing us to "see" more and more and thus make different choices in life.

Video by Pearl Jam

The Moment that Kills Many Intimate Relationships

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 13:00:00 +0000

Every intimate relationship will cross a critical, often make-or-break threshold moment in which the two foundational components of polarity and intimacy invert. Tune in to this episode to learn about this important milestone, what often goes wrong, and what tools can support your relationship in thriving beyond this moment.

The Pitfalls and Potentials of Psychedelic Medicines (with David Romero)

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 20:30:12 +0000

In this episode, I'm excited to welcome friend and healer David Romero to delve into the healing potentials of psychedelic medicines. David shares his fascinating journey from the military to yoga, mental health, and psychedelic healing. He shares the importance of developing a relationship with the medicines, how they aren't a magical cure-all, the power of mindset and setting when working with psychedelics, and the many benefits of micro-dosing psilocybin.

ABOUT DAVID

David Romero has walked a wonderfully rich life path, including serving a decade in the U.S. Air Force as an acquisitions program manager launching space assets, working in the heart of western medicine as a medical device sales with a focus on orthopedic spine and pain management, and becoming a certified yoga teacher with over 1000 hours of training. Romero's journey has seen him share his insights on grand stages like TEDx, foster mindfulness at prestigious institutions such as the University of Southern California, and lead transformative international yoga retreats. His commitment extends beyond the mat, with nearly a decade spent exploring plant medicines, positioning him as a wise guide toward heart-mind harmony and present-moment awareness.

ig: @theyogidr

The Power of Moving Toward

Sat, 02 Mar 2024 18:57:31 +0000

In this episode, I delve into the transformative power of shifting our mindset from 'moving away' to 'moving toward', a crucial pivot that can radically alter our lives. I shine a light on our common male tendency to dodge emotional discomfort and the profound healing that unfolds when we bravely face our feelings. I then explore the vital role of vision in guiding our life's trajectory and the unparalleled support men's groups offer us along the way. In short, this episode is a call for us to embrace our emotions, foster a clear vision for our future, and explore the supportive spaces that empower us men to heal, grow, and realize our full potential.

If It Doesn't Challenge You It Doesn't Change You

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 15:00:00 +0000

In this episode I explore a lesser-known aspect of the saying "If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you" that can be particularly hard for men!

Moving Beyond Shame

Fri, 09 Feb 2024 15:38:30 +0000

In this episode, I explore the significance of having a safe place to return to after facing setbacks or feelings of shame in life, and how the power of a men's group and community can be the key to moving beyond our shame by giving us a place to consciously come back to relationship.

The Courage to Feel (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 17:27:00 +0000

In this episode, I'm once again joined by Luke Adler to explore the sense of hurt and disconnection that many men are experiencing today, and how having the courage to feel is the medicine we desperately need as men to drop below all the surface-level forces that try to pull us away from our discomfort, whether it be relationally, politically, cultural, or from dopamine overloads. This is one of our widest-ranging discussions yet in the Heart of Shadow series and is a genuine call to all men in pain that there is a way forward.

Find out more about the Heart of Shadow men's group and program at heartofshadow.com

Purpose, Passion, and Meaningful Work

Fri, 26 Jan 2024 16:57:03 +0000

In this episode, I delve into the topics of purpose and passion, two crucial aspects of a man's life. Contrary to a lot of the talk in the world of men's work, finding our purpose is often a lot less straightforward than we think, and not always as simple as "do what you love" or "follow your passion". Whether you love what you do or are yearning for something more when it comes to your purpose in the world, this episode will point the way toward cultivating more meaning and fulfillment in your work.

Shadow Work & Intimate Relationships (with Luke Adler)

Thu, 18 Jan 2024 20:26:52 +0000

In this episode of the Heart of Shadow series, Luke Adler and I discuss the impact of shadow work on long-term relationships. We share our own experiences of how shadow work has transformed our marriages and how important the work has been to maintain vitality and prevent stagnation. We explore the need for personal responsibility and owning one's pain and wounding in order to avoid projecting it onto our intimate relationship. In short, having a place to explore our shadow in the safety of a group of men is a potent way to keep our intimate relationship alive and healthy.

Learn more about the Heart of Shadow men's group and retreat at https://heartofshadow.com

The World Needs MORE Angry Men

Fri, 12 Jan 2024 17:44:26 +0000

Anger and aggression are NOT the same thing, and the most dangerous men are aggressive men who aren't aware of their anger.

In this episode I break down the all-important difference between anger and aggression, and talk about the three keys to embodying healthy anger in the world, and why our planet needs a whole lot more men doing it.

Want a safe container to explore your anger in? Check out the Heart of Shadow men's group and retreat.

Why Men Are So Hard on Themselves (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 05 Jan 2024 14:44:09 +0000

In this episode, my co-host Luke Adler and I talk about why us men can be so hard on themselves. We delve into the roots of this harshness and scrutinize its impact on overall health and happiness. Drawing from personal experiences and knowledge gained from our work with men, we provide viable strategies to navigate through the maze of self-criticism and work towards a healthier self-perception. We talk about the strength that lies in vulnerability and the transformative magic of shadow work, and how truly healing a powerful group can be.

Learn more about the Heart of Shadow men's group and join our next cohort at evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

[00:00:38] Being hard on ourselves.

[00:03:26] Men's culture and criticism.

[00:08:14] Self-deprecation and its impacts.

[00:10:49] Our slow-to-update self-concept.

[00:15:41] The importance of group continuity.

[00:19:57] Celebrating vulnerability and self-deprecation.

[00:22:32] The power of vulnerability.

[00:25:31] Feedback and self-talk.

[00:27:50] Fear of being a failure.

[00:31:35] Rewiring the inner critic.

[00:38:07] Healing the inner critic.

What Creates Nice Guys

Fri, 29 Dec 2023 15:00:00 +0000

In this episode, I explore 'Nice Guy Syndrome', its origins, and how to overcome it. Using Dr. Gabor Mate's idea of two primary human needs: attachment and authenticity, I explore how men often suppress their authentic selves to secure attachment, leading to Nice Guy Syndrome. I then discuss how reclaiming authenticity is one of the most powerful uses of men's groups, and how doing so can lead to healthier relationships and improved wellbeing all around for men.

Join the Heart of Shadow men's group now to reclaim your authenticity and power.

Breaking Free from Stagnation (with Luke Adler)

Sat, 23 Dec 2023 15:00:00 +0000

In this episode, Luke Adler joins me once more to explore an issue many men experience - stagnation, or feeling stuck. Men in particular often suffer from emotional stagnation, manifesting as feelings of despair, depression, or emotional numbness - all of which can have serious physical and spiritual consequences.

Luke enlightens us with his knowledge of Chinese medicine, explaining how emotional stagnation can disrupt bodily systems, promoting inflammation and potential loss of function. We also consider the societal construct of masculinity and the unique challenge men face in redefining their roles. Our shared goal is to shape a new cultural norm where men can connect, support each other, and break free of outdated masculine norms like "the macho man" or "the nice guy."

Experience the masculine vortex by joining our next Heart of Shadow cohort at evolutionary.men/heartofshadow

How to Attract Better Intimate Partners

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 16:40:18 +0000

Discover the key to shifting your patterns and attracting better intimate partners and deeper connections through the power of inner work.

Join The Heart of Shadow men's group now at heartofshadow.com

Precarious Manhood and the Manbox

Fri, 08 Dec 2023 17:00:22 +0000

In this episode, I discuss two important concepts related to men and masculinity: precarious manhood and the man box. The first refers to the sociocultural belief that manhood is a fragile status that needs to be constantly defended, while the latter is a societal construct that dictates norms and expectations for men. These concepts contribute to systemic issues that create many challenges for men. Replacing these implicit and unconscious expectations with more helpful ones is part of the work of the men's work movement right now.

00:31 Understanding Precarious Manhood
01:52 Exploring the Tenets of Precarious Manhood
07:42 The Man Box: A Societal Construct
09:07 The Impact of the Man Box on Men's Mental Health
11:56 The Role of Men's Groups and Rituals in Breaking Free from the Man Box

Want to blow up the limitations of the manbox and co-create definitions with other men? Join The Heart of Shadow men's group and retreat.

Men, Loneliness, and Social Isolation

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 18:39:35 +0000

In this episode, I once again explore loneliness among men and highlight the detrimental health risks associated with lacking meaningful connections. Then I break down the difference between loneliness and social isolation, the importance of the quality of our connections over the quantity, and how men's groups can provide the depth of connection so many men are missing.

One Way Men Keep Themselves Stuck

Wed, 22 Nov 2023 14:00:00 +0000

In this episode, I explore one of the main ways men often keep themselves stuck. Many of us will default to soothing ourselves when in distress instead of focusing on actual healing. Tune in to learn the difference between the temporary relief of soothing and the long-term change that comes from healing.

The Importance of Doing Your Emotional Work

Thu, 16 Nov 2023 17:28:29 +0000

In this episode, discover the importance of doing your 'emotional work' as a man in order to thrive in life. Our emotions can greatly impact our stress levels, health, decision-making capabilities, and how much others trust us. This is a topic you won't want to miss.

Three Reasons Men Join Men's Groups

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 14:00:00 +0000

In this episode I break down three of the big reasons I see men show up in men's group and step onto the path of men's work.

One of the Awesome Powers of Men's Group

Sun, 05 Nov 2023 03:45:53 +0000

Long time listeners know that I believe every man should be in a men's group, and in this episode I dive into one of the many reasons why: they can help us get clear about what we need and want in our lives and relationships.

Attention, Tension, and the Masculine

Thu, 26 Oct 2023 20:52:29 +0000

Attention and Tension are two terms that are deeply related when it comes to what makes the masculine inside all of us tick. The ability to consciously wield our attention is a great power and easier to do when we hold less tension in our bodies.

"I had a pretty good childhood"

Wed, 04 Oct 2023 20:29:12 +0000

In this episode I unpack a common phrase: "Well, I had a pretty good childhood" to explore what lies beneath this common phrase, why it's so commonly used by nice guys, and how our childhood can be the key to our growth as adults.

From Enlightenment to Intimacy (with Luke Adler)

Sat, 09 Sep 2023 15:04:45 +0000

An all too easy trap on the path of growth is to get hyper-focused on enlightenment, which if we're not careful can become just another way to get away from one's experience. Join me and my fellow Heart of Shadow facilitator Luke Adler as we talk about what's possible when we focus on the path of intimacy instead. As a men's guide, I'm increasingly convinced most men need to be focused on waking down, far more than waking up, and shadow work is a means to that end.

Join us for our next The Heart of Shadow men's group and retreat at www.heartofshadow.com

Cracking Open to Your Deepest Self (with Luke Adler)

Thu, 10 Aug 2023 15:33:17 +0000

One of the many gifts of shadow work is how it can help us crack open to the deepest parts of ourselves, bringing us into more intimate contact with all of who we are. In this episode, Luke and I explore what it means to crack open and bring our buried shadow elements to the surface to be met with awareness and light.

Are you ready to dive into shadow work and experience the power of a men's group? Join us now at heartofshadow.com

The Purpose of Dating

Tue, 08 Aug 2023 14:40:27 +0000

Dating can be an exhausting enterprise for many men and can feel like a neverending battle that can get very disheartening, especially if we lose sight of the true purpose of dating. Tune in to this episode to find out how to reclaim your power as a man so that you know your purpose in dating.

Be a Lover Not a Lawyer

Fri, 21 Jul 2023 15:00:20 +0000

Want to take your relationship to the next level as a man? One of the more important changes you make has to do with how you receive feedback or hurt from a partner when they've been impacted by you in a negative way. It's easy for us guys to "lawyer up" in these moments instead of showing up first as a lover. Listen in to learn more about being a lover, not a lawyer!

Take Charge of Your Sexual Charge (with Luke Adler)

Thu, 13 Jul 2023 13:00:00 +0000

Sexuality is one of the most powerful energies on the planet and one that can easily cause great harm if not matched with consciousness. We're living in a time when we men have the opportunity to take charge of our sexual charge and use it generatively rather than destructively.

In this episode of our Heart of Shadow series, my co-facilitator Luke Adler and I talk about how important it is for men to consciously work with sexuality to keep it out of the shadow so we can wield it as the creative force it's meant to be.

Sexuality is one of the many topics Luke and I cover in our program The Heart of Shadow, a 9-week virtual experience with a live retreat halfway through. If you're a man who's ready to transform, learn more and sign up at heartofshadow.com

Train at the Edges, Live in the Middle

Wed, 05 Jul 2023 16:00:37 +0000

When it comes to any kind of meaningful practice, the aim is to train at the edges of our capacity and stretch ourselves so that we can live with more ease back in the middle. Tune in to find out how this shows up in all facets of men's work, be it physical, emotional, or spiritual practice.

Three Keys to Regain Your Center

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 15:49:19 +0000

Ever had one of those moments or days, when you just FEEL OFF, be it stressed, depressed, anxious, or unmotivated? Listen to this episode as I explore the three keys you can use to regain your center and come back to yourself in a grounded and regulated way.

Men's work is a powerful way to put these combined keys into action, so check out my upcoming 3.5 day retreat over Labor Day if you'd like to experience it firsthand. (https://evolutionary.men/retreat)

Leading with Vulnerability

Sat, 10 Jun 2023 14:19:15 +0000

Leading with vulnerability is one of the most potent things I coach men on and it creates some unique challenges for us as men. Tune in to learn what I mean by vulnerability, what it often means when our partners say they want us to be more vulnerable, how we can bring it as masculine leaders, and what exactly makes it a significant act of leadership.

Want to dive in and do some men's work in person? Checkout my Labor Day Men's Work Retreat, and our upcoming fall cohort of The Heart of Shadow program/retreat.

Core Level Healing (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 02 Jun 2023 17:03:00 +0000

I'm again thrilled to be joined by Luke Adler, my friend and co-facilitator of The Heart of Shadow program. In this discussion, we share about our own shadow work processes that we worked through on a recent retreat with each other, and how this type of shadow work can facilitate a core level of healing that gets to the very essence of our wounding.

Learn more, and join us for our next round of The Heart of Shadow here.

The Herky-Jerky Lizard

Sun, 28 May 2023 23:48:00 +0000

I recently got to spend some time watching a very herky-jerky lizard while on retreat, and in today's episode explore how its movement can be so representative of the brain state many of us men live in on a moment to moment basis.

Co-Ed Work Matters Too (with Violet Lange)

Tue, 16 May 2023 20:30:06 +0000

In this episode, I chat with my lovely wife Violet Lange about the importance of doing co-ed work and how it can amplify and refine the work we do together as men. We explore what co-ed work can look like, how it can benefit us whether we're single or in a relationship, and the specifics of her program Radiant Love which is a powerful container for exploring everything we discuss.

Interested in Radiant Love? Email violet [at] violetlange.com

The Purpose of Men's Work

Sat, 06 May 2023 16:42:56 +0000

Men's work is having a moment in our culture right now, entering more and more into the mainstream each and every day. In this episode, I explore what I think the true purpose of men's work is and some of its common styles.

The Male Loneliness Epidemic (with Luke Adler)

Fri, 28 Apr 2023 23:20:26 +0000

There is a crisis of male loneliness, and it started long before COVID. In this episode, I chat with friend and co-facilitator Luke Adler about how deeply this impacts men, why it's hard to make new male friendships as we age, and how transformational programs can create bonding experiences for men that last a lifetime.

Links:

Being a Yes to What Is

Fri, 17 Mar 2023 22:19:45 +0000

In this episode, I share one of my favorite stories about musician Prince and dive into how it exemplifies the superpower of being a yes to what is, which is the ability to turn toward reality rather than resisting it.

Father & Son Rites of Passage (with Luke Entrup)

Fri, 10 Feb 2023 15:25:02 +0000

In this episode, I talk with Luke Entrup, a leadership coach and teacher that leads rites of passage programs for fathers and their sons.

We talk about Luke's program, how it aims to connect fathers and sons, the importance of young boys spending time with powerful men, the hero's journey and how it shows up in men's work, and the power of tech-free time in nature.

Have a son aged 10-14? Check out the first Father-Son Connection Experience this coming April 14-16 at Cobb Mountain in California!

https://www.fathersonconnection.com

And check out Luke's great podcast, Crazy Wisdom at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crazy-wisdom/id1646069640

Name What You Notice

Fri, 03 Feb 2023 16:31:56 +0000

One key to meaningful masculine leadership comes from being able to name what you notice. This simple concept can improve your relationships, work life, and even your ability to make better choices for yourself in any given moment.

Testosterone is Not the Problem

Fri, 20 Jan 2023 18:51:10 +0000

Men and the masculine are getting a lot of heat these days, including from director James Cameron who recently said that testosterone is "a toxin that you have to slowly work out of your system". Listen in now to find out what he gets wrong in his assessment and what the real problem actually is.

Some Things Aren't Meant to Be Felt Alone

Mon, 21 Nov 2022 23:17:16 +0000

As humans, we are WIRED to be social and relational creatures, and co-regulation is one of the most powerful tools we have at our disposal for our well-being. Being held in safe and attuned relational space allows our body-minds to process traumas in ways we just can't do alone. So often the missing component for men to fully be present to their grief, anger, or shame is being held by others.

The Heart of Shadow (with Luke Adler)

Tue, 08 Nov 2022 15:18:00 +0000

Face your dragons. Unleash your life force!

I'm super excited to chat with friend, healer, and all-around badass Dr. Luke Adler about shadow work, men's groups, and our new intensive program, The Heart of Shadow.

Luke and I discuss what shadow is, why we're creating this program, and how this work has not only impacted our clients, but our own lives as well.

If there's any part of you that feels stuck, numb, frustrated, or sometimes gets overly reactive, there's a good chance you have a golden opportunity to liberate some shadow elements in your life.

Learn more about the hybrid virtual & live program at www.heartofshadow.com.

Holding the Moment

Fri, 26 Aug 2022 13:42:31 +0000

Dabble in men's work long enough and you'll hear the term "holding space". In this episode, find out what holding the moment actually means, and how understanding it can have a massive impact on our intimate relationships.

Breath is a Portal

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 14:56:00 +0000

One of the most powerful tools in transformation is ever present, free to access, and an incredible gateway between the unconscious and conscious in ourselves. Tune in to learn about the power of breath.

Do Women Really Want Jerks?

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 17:02:32 +0000

Tune in to learn how a potent piece of philosophy can dispel the myth that women only want to be with jerky guys.

The Hero's Journey and Men's Work

Sun, 05 Jun 2022 14:10:00 +0000

Joseph Campbell's work on the Hero's Journey provides an incredible roadmap for what so many men are missing and yearning for these days. Men's Work and in-person retreats can fill that gap. When you hear the call, it's crucial to leave your ordinary world and find out what you're made of with other men.

Learn about the Summer 2022 Evolutionary Men Weekend Retreat at https://evolutionary.men/retreat

Be a Man She Can Push Into, Not a Man She Can Pushover

Sat, 28 May 2022 03:14:05 +0000

One of the most powerful shifts men can make in relationship is to be the kind of man your partner can push INTO, and not just push over. Tune in to learn about the power of welcoming it all.

Surround Yourself With Men That Will Call You on Your Bullshit

Wed, 18 May 2022 14:05:00 +0000

If you want to be a man of integrity in this day and age it's absolutely crucial you have other men in your life that can tune you up and call you on your bullshit.

Kryptonite for Men

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 22:03:27 +0000

There is one thing that is utter kryptonite for men, causing us enormous suffering and pain with little to no upside that so many of us do all the time. It often starts at a biological level and can encompass our entire lives. Tune in to learn what this process is, and what to do instead.

What to Do When You Want to Withdraw

Thu, 24 Feb 2022 01:27:01 +0000

As a guide and men's group facilitator, time and time again I've seen men make a crucial mistake when they're suffering or in pain that often only makes things worse. Tune in to learn about one of the most powerful shifts you can make as a man to do things differently when everything is telling you to withdraw.

Three Questions Every Man Needs to Be Able to Answer

Fri, 28 Jan 2022 15:10:48 +0000

There are three questions I've discovered that every man needs to be able to answer to live a meaningful life of freedom, service, and integrity. Knowing the answers can guide our relationships, careers, health, and so much more.

How to Talk About Sex in a Way That Opens Her (with Melanie Curtin)

Sun, 16 Jan 2022 17:05:50 +0000

Want to know the single most important thing that will lead you to experience amazing sex? Tune in and learn how to please her in bed as Sex Researcher and Men's Dating Coach Melanie Curtin reveals what she's learned from surveying thousands of women about what works, and doesn't work in the bedroom.

Listen to Mel's Podcast at www.melaniecurtin.com/podcast
Buy her course, Please Her in Bed at https://www.melaniecurtin.com/courses-shop/
Work with both of us in our intensive coaching program for men, watch our free training at https://evolutionary.men/webinar to get started

The Power of Embodiment in Your Sex & Love Life

Wed, 29 Dec 2021 13:00:00 +0000

Learn about the power of embodiment to create more attraction and lead more effectively when it comes to your sex and love life.

Who Holds Your Story?

Mon, 27 Dec 2021 14:03:20 +0000

In this episode I pose a question for men to consider seriously - who do you have in your life that holds the totality of your story with you? Listen in to learn why it can be so powerful to have others know and see you and the journey you've been on.

Your Growth is Not Linear

Tue, 07 Dec 2021 21:42:31 +0000

A big trap for a lot of us guys into men's work and personal growth and development is the belief that growth follows a straight path. Tune in to learn how growth really works, and how to prepare yourself for the different seasons along the way.

She Wants to Trust You, Not Just Feel Safe With You

Mon, 08 Nov 2021 17:05:32 +0000

There's a huge difference between a woman feeling safe with a man and TRUSTING that man. Tune in to learn about one of the big confusions many nice guys make.

Claim Your Shame

Mon, 01 Nov 2021 16:27:45 +0000

There is an incredible amount of power on the other side of shame, and it all starts with how we relate to it ourselves.

The Problem with Porn

Mon, 18 Oct 2021 16:06:05 +0000

With porn being more present in most men's lives than ever before - today's episode explores the impact it can have on men.

You can hear more about my personal journey with porn addiction at https://evolutionary.men/blog/the-costs-of-porn-addiction/

What the Feminine Wants More of From You Is What the World Wants More of From You

Mon, 11 Oct 2021 16:03:54 +0000

How we show up in our intimate relationships is often how we show up in our purpose and work in the world. Listen in to find out how you can use your relationship to show up more profoundly in the world.

How to Handle Stress

Mon, 04 Oct 2021 14:37:47 +0000

Stress is a part of all of our lives, and today I talk about two lenses we can focus on as men to handle stress better: mindset and resources.

Inspired by the book The Upside of Stress, I explore how the two key elements relate to masculinity, men's work, and men's groups.

When implemented, these elements can lead to higher reported self-satisfaction in life, fewer emotional and physical ailments, and even a longer life.

The Father Energy We All Need

Mon, 27 Sep 2021 15:00:00 +0000

There are two crucial energies we all need to thrive in life, and when one or both of them is absent life gets a lot more difficult. More and more the healthy version of father energy seems to be absent in many men's lives, and men's groups can be a powerful place to get nourished by it.

The Source of Your Sexual Power as a Man

Mon, 20 Sep 2021 15:13:22 +0000

Most men think their sexual power comes from how many orgasms they can give a woman or how long they can last. The truth is much deeper than that and drives so much of what makes men unforgettable in the bedroom AND in life.

The Problem With How Most Guys Relate to Each Other

Sat, 11 Sep 2021 16:34:34 +0000

Most guys are starving for real connection with other men and it stems from a fundamental problem in how mainstream culture encourages guys to relate.

She Doesn't Want to Be Your Mother-Lover

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 03:05:44 +0000

Our sense of well-being as men cannot be solely dependent on our feminine partners.

One of the Biggest Mental Health Mistakes Men Make

Fri, 20 Aug 2021 14:15:17 +0000

Tune in to this episode to learn about one of the most damaging mistakes I've seen men make over and over again that severely impacts their mental health and stems from a simple but powerful confusion.

Slay Your Gurus

Fri, 13 Aug 2021 15:55:22 +0000

The age of the guru is over. As a man on the path of growth and development, it's important to know what drives pathology when it comes to gurus, leaders, influencers, communities, and cults.

Tune in to learn some very practical and powerful questions to bring to anyone you're considering working with and what dangerous bullshit to look out for.

You Attract Your Reciprocal

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 15:52:15 +0000

You are responsible for the type of intimate partners you are attracting into your life.

Wholeness attracts wholeness, and there is no shortcut to doing healing work and cultivating your presence.

"I would never hit you. I would never hit our kids."

Fri, 30 Jul 2021 14:51:51 +0000

In this episode I talk about one of the biggest lies I've ever told and how it was fueled by one of my deepest shadows. Shadow work has to be part of any path of growth and development and here I share part of my journey of coming to terms with my inner abuser and the shockwaves it sent into my relationship.

Feel Death Daily

Fri, 23 Jul 2021 15:24:38 +0000

One of the most powerful tools we can lead with stems from feeling death daily and deepening the perspective from which we experience every moment. With death as a trusted advisor, ask yourself, where are you living safely instead of living free?

The Myth of the Lone Wolf

Fri, 16 Jul 2021 17:10:54 +0000

It's time to burst the bubble on the myth of the lone wolf and the idea that men who do things alone are more manly. If you want to have an impact as the masculine, you need to be challenged and held accountable by others.

Stop Trying to Get Rid of Parts of Yourself

Fri, 09 Jul 2021 18:03:16 +0000

The key to growth as a man isn't to get rid of parts of yourself, it's about learning to relate to those parts and to wake up from whatever matrix you're in.

Masculinity is a Transmission

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 20:45:00 +0000

The industrial revolution brought many major shifts to the world, one of which had a major impact on how we learn to be men from other men. Tune in to find out what happened and how joining a men's group can be a modern way to get this important transmission from other men.

Psychedelics Are Not Enough

Thu, 10 Jun 2021 04:54:26 +0000

We're living in a powerful renaissance of psychedelic healing changing the world for the better.....and yet they're still not enough. Tune in to learn what you must do hand in hand with sacred medicines to make them last.

E-motion is Necessary for Action

Mon, 31 May 2021 22:25:00 +0000

Tired of feeling stuck in life or on the same never-ending hamster wheel of neutrality when it comes to your dating, relationships, or life purpose? Tune in to find out why your feelings & emotions are the keys to changing everything.

The Most Powerful Tool for Transformation

Wed, 26 May 2021 04:46:56 +0000

There is one tool for change that works more powerfully than any other that will cause your growth and development to exponentially accelerate when consciously engaged. Listen in to find out more.

What Protected You When You Were Young Is the Barrier to Getting What You Want as an Adult

Wed, 19 May 2021 05:08:18 +0000

Transformation and men's work is about bringing consciousness to the unconscious patterns of our body-mind that are often running the show that is our lives. Listen in to learn how your past will never stop informing your present until you unwind what you once depended on.

What It Takes to Really Change

Mon, 10 May 2021 16:31:24 +0000

Today I talk about the four elements of an evolutionary growth mindset and how you need ALL of them to create lasting and meaningful change in your life as a man.

Every Man Should Be in a Men's Group

Mon, 03 May 2021 16:01:29 +0000

The mission of Evolutionary Men is to get every man into a men's group. Today we talk about what a men's group is, five of the top benefits to joining a group, and how you can get started today.

Real Men Feel Everything

Mon, 26 Apr 2021 01:00:00 +0000

What makes a real man? It's time to move past the outdated stereotypes to define the new warrior.