Dynasty As They Wanna Be

304 - The Will

Thu, 19 Mar 2020 19:13:51 +0000

Prepare to be completely and thoroughly surprised and disgusted. In this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari complain about the toxic-yet-whiny masculinity of Jeff Colby (John James) and stand up for the right of Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) to open a "pleasure palace" of a hotel — but not flirt with her brother. Also, they chat about how COVID-19 has affected their drinking habits. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and use promo code DYNASTY at stitcher.com/premium for your first month of Stitcher Premium for free.
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303 - The Wedding

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 16:07:26 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari check into the La Mirada hotel for the first time. They also and bid farewell to Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) as Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) and Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) finally send the looney lodger back to the sanitarium. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and use promo code DYNASTY at stitcher.com/premium for your first month of Stitcher Premium for free.

302 - The Roof

Tue, 25 Feb 2020 17:02:47 +0000

It's always your lousy money, isn't it? In this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari let the good times roll as Michael Torrance aka Adam Carrington (Gordon Thompson) says buh-bye to his gram and Nurse Susan (Christine Belford) introduces a red wine glass to the wall. They also speculate why Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) collects dolls. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and use promo code DYNASTY at stitcher.com/premium for your first month of Stitcher Premium for free.

301 - The Plea

Mon, 17 Feb 2020 12:54:01 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari sip high balls and complain about the disappearance of Little Blake Carrington. How could this family be the victims of not one but two babynappings?! They also examine the introduction of long-lost Adam Carrington (Gordon Thompson) and the appearance of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) through a hole in some shrink wrap. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and check out saucebeauty.com for delicious hair care.

222 - The Cliff

Fri, 07 Feb 2020 16:20:47 +0000

Blaaaaake! In this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari bemoan the second season finale's ridiculous mountaintop tussle between Dr. Nick Toscani (James Farentino) and Blake Carrington (John Forsythe). Also, they express how totally weirded out they feel about the premarital disco sex of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) and Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and check out saucebeauty.com for delicious hair care.

221 - The Two Princes

Fri, 31 Jan 2020 04:45:59 +0000

In this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari sizzle over how horny Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) and Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner) become over their hatred of Blake Carrington (John Forsythe). They also discuss attending Dame Joan Collins' fabulous Palm Springs Speaks appearance and the Dynasty At the Disco after party. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and check out saucebeauty.com for delicious hair care.

220 - The Shakedown

Thu, 23 Jan 2020 13:00:01 +0000

In this week's soft and non-carbonated edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari dish on the bizarre medical conditions of Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner) and Cladua Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood). They also confuse Santa Fe for San Jose and try to wrap their heads around the botched blackmail of Steven Carrington (Al Corley). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and check out saucebeauty.com for delicious hair care.

219 - The Fragment

Sat, 18 Jan 2020 17:44:42 +0000

No star for you! In this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari ponder why Steven Carrington (Al Corley) continues to employ hookers and dissect the over-the-top reveal of Logan Rhinewood's true identity. They also examine the espresso making technique of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com, and go to audibletrial.com/nastypodcast for your free audiobook.

Bonus Episode: Dame Joan Collins

Thu, 16 Jan 2020 20:19:35 +0000

In this very special bonus episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, host Derrik J. Lang chats with the one and only Dame Joan Collins about her iconic career ahead of her appearance at the Palm Springs Speaks speaker series. For tickets, visit https://palmspringsspeaks.org. Also, we've launched our Patreon if you'd like to support Dynasty As They Wanna Be and be granted access to ad-free episodes, additional bonus content, exclusive polls, and more. For more information, check out https://patreon.com/nastypodcast.

218 - The Gun

Thu, 09 Jan 2020 16:38:31 +0000

Pew! Pew! In this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari run for cover as Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) plots her revenge against Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner) after receiving the world's first-ever text message at Denver Carrington. They also reveal they had an exclusive phone conversation with, well, you'll just have to listen to the episode to find out. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

217 - Mother and Son

Sun, 22 Dec 2019 20:26:13 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari debate the sex appeal of new daddy Jeff Colby (John James) and the right of Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) to bear arms. They're also still reeling from the fallout following the catfight — or was it a contraton? — between Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) and Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

216 - The Baby

Fri, 13 Dec 2019 05:18:11 +0000

Let's get physical. In this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari dissect the epic brawl between Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) and Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) — from the studio-shattering choreography to the shredded silk blouses. They also complain about the stealthiness of Claudia Blasidel (Pamela Bellwood) and their holiday house guests. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

215 - The Party

Sat, 07 Dec 2019 07:06:14 +0000

You should RSVP yes to Dynasty As They Wanna Be — and we didn't just make that up. In this week's episode, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari head to a party where Fallon Carrington (Pamela Sue Martin) is caught cheating on her husband, Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) is miraculously cured of fake blindness, and Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) wears gold lamé with mink accents. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

214 - The Iago Syndrome

Sat, 23 Nov 2019 16:28:06 +0000

We're here to pump ... you up. In this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari hit the Carrington mansion gym to moan about Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) ditching Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) yet again. Also, they debate whether Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) should commit corporate espionage in order to find her annoying daughter. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

213 - The Hearing

Thu, 14 Nov 2019 18:09:55 +0000

In this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari sip (and spit) martinis while discussing a very important government hearing — no, not that one — the one where a blind Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) embarrassingly attempts to expose "shady" Logan Rhinewood. They also debate whether Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) looks better wearing a navy blue cape or an all-red ensemble with big shoulders. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

212 - Blake's Blindness

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 17:31:27 +0000

Who's there?! In this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari sip kir royales in honor of the preferred lunchtime cocktail of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) and revel in the blindness of Blake Carrington (John Forsythe). They also fantasize about the true identity of Logan Rhinewood and argue over New York City's best cannoli. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

211 - The Car Explosion (w/ Omar Barragan)

Thu, 31 Oct 2019 15:51:09 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, host Derrik J. Lang is joined in New York City by hunky guest co-host Omar Barragan to imagine what Dynasty would've been like in the age of Instagram. They also discuss the whininess of Jeff Colby (John James) as well as the bad workout form (and hot bodies) of the football team owned by Blake Carrington (John Forsythe). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

210 - Sammy Jo and Steven Marry

Thu, 24 Oct 2019 17:05:17 +0000

Behold! In this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari are dishing the dirt on the thwarted abortion of Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) and the secret lust that Joseph Anders (Lee Bergere) apparently has for his employer. They also sip mai tais and wonder why Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) wore a fur coat during a rain storm. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

209 - The Psychiatrist

Thu, 17 Oct 2019 15:19:44 +0000

Scandalous! In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari examine the motives of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) as she successfully convinces Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) to abscond to a suspicious Italian villa, lie to his wife, and put suntan lotion on her back. They also uncover a conspiracy involving Dynasty on Amazon and iTunes. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

208 - The Mid-East Meeting

Thu, 10 Oct 2019 16:00:04 +0000

Is your passport up to date? In this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari celebrate the fabulous journey of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) to Rome and lament the decision of Steven Carrington (Al Corley) to employ the services of yet another lady hooker. Also, they pay tribute to incomparable trailblazer Diahann Carroll. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

207 - The Miscarriage (Live at NostalgiaCon)

Thu, 03 Oct 2019 15:00:23 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari are live on stage at the 1980s pop-culture convention NostalgiaCon to dissect the walk of shame by Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) and the heterosexual transformation of Steven Carrington (Al Corley). Also, they ponder if Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) invented athleisure. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

206 - Viva Las Vegas

Thu, 26 Sep 2019 16:47:44 +0000

What happens in Vegas, stays ... on Dynasty As They Wanna Be! In this week's edition of the podcast, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari examine the trampy intentions of Sammy Jo Dean (Heather Locklear) and the shotgun-toting evilness of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins). They also petition for the DeLorean of Dr. Nicholas Toscanni (James Farentino) to be added to Dynasty's opening credits. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

205 - Reconciliation

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 16:13:41 +0000

Vroom! Vroom! On this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari get their motors running with the introduction of cha cha heel-wearing Sammy Jo Dean (Heather Locklear). Also, they ponder whether Steven Carrington (Al Corey) suffered "gay amnesia" when he drunkenly fell into the pool and complain about the unnecessary flavours of Febreze. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

204 - Fallon's Father

Thu, 12 Sep 2019 15:10:13 +0000

On this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari welcome the return of Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner), salivate over the shirtlessness of Steven Carrington (Al Corley), and commend the next-level scheming of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins). They also do a deep dive into the loud sex noises that are plaguing their neighborhood, according to NextDoor. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

203 - Alexis' Secret

Thu, 05 Sep 2019 15:52:00 +0000

Did someone call for a doctor? No! On this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari suffer heart palpitations at the sudden introduction of Dr. Nicholas Toscanni (James Farentino). They also debate whether the secret that Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) has been keeping is real and if drinking "more champagne" is truly the best way to end an argument. Also, they pay tribute to Demi Moore's Cap'n Crunch chicken. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

202 - The Verdict

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 16:20:26 +0000

The verdict is in on this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be ... and hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari are guilty of loving Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins) as she starts squatting in the Carrington mansion and putting the smackdown on bitchy butler Joseph Anders (Lee Bergere). They also celebrate the bad luck of Blake Carrington (John Forsyhte) and the dismissal of in-house stud Michael Culhane (Wayne Norhtrop). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

201 - Enter Alexis

Thu, 22 Aug 2019 14:57:10 +0000

Joan Collins is here! Joan Collins is here! On this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari dive deep into the debut of Alexis Carrington (Joan Collins), examining her mothering skills, her stance on the LGBT community, and her Brazilian blowout. Also, they ponder why Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) has such an attitude problem. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

114 - The Testimony (w/ Ben Mandelker)

Fri, 09 Aug 2019 04:02:01 +0000

On this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari call Watch What Crappens host Ben Mandelker to the stand to testify that Lisa Vanderpump's fashion is actually inspired by Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) and that Dynasty is superior to The O.C. and Gossip Girl. Also, they nibble on New Woman cheese in honor of Alexis Carrington's arrival. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

113 - Blake Goes to Jail

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 16:26:40 +0000

The trial of the '80s begins! On this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari debate which degree of murder Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) should actually be tried for and how much of a fashion crime Jake Dunham (Brian freaking Dennehy) has committed in an oversized three-piece suit. Also, they toast to the boardroom realness of Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans). For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

112 - The Separation

Thu, 25 Jul 2019 14:58:24 +0000

Ah, push it, push it real good. On this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari discuss Jeff Colby (John James) pushing Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin) into a pool and Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) shoving Ted Dinard (Mark Withers) into a fireplace. They also criticize the sloppy kissing technique of Matthew Blaisdel (Bo Hopkins). Get up on this! For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

111 - The Birthday Party

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 02:32:14 +0000

On this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari take a trip to the Big Easy with the Carringtons and Colbys for the dysfunctional birthday party of Cecil Colby (Lloyd Bochner) They also debate if Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) and Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) are into BDSM and why Steven Carrington (Al Corley) makes such bad interior design decisions. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

110 - The Beating

Thu, 11 Jul 2019 13:00:33 +0000

Do you wanna shake your booty? On this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari relive the highs and lows of their recent trip to the Galapagos on the Celebrity Flora. They also discuss the disjointed episode The Beating, which features a confusing car chase, awkward disco dance moves, a porn-inspired score, and a guest appearance by Brian freaking Dennhey. For more info, visit nastypodcast.com.

109 - The Necklace

Thu, 04 Jul 2019 16:04:14 +0000

Happy Independence Day! Are you ready for a trip to Scandals? On this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari explore the last remaining disco in Denver visited by a horny Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) and critique the emerald necklace knock-off purchased by Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans). Also, they drink lots of martinis. For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

108 - Krystle's Lie

Thu, 27 Jun 2019 10:00:03 +0000

TRIGGER WARNING! On this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari commiserate over nightmares induced by the ugly crying face of Lindsay Blaisdel (Katy Kurztman) and the marital rape by Blake Carrington (John Forsythe). They also revel in the drunken boa twirling antics of Fallon Carrington Colby (Pamela Sue Martin). For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

107 - The Bordello

Thu, 20 Jun 2019 16:10:13 +0000

Does being gay make you clairvoyant? On this week's Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari tackle that question while gabbing about the sexual fluidity of Steven Carrington (Al Corley). They also attempt to determine how prostitute Sarah Pat (Tisch Raye) ended up with her weird name and how much cash would fit inside a Louis Vuitton bowling ball bag. For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

106 - The Chauffeur Tells a Secret

Thu, 13 Jun 2019 14:28:00 +0000

In this week's installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari deliberate if they should attend a baby shower and whether Steven Carrington (Al Corley) is emo. Also, they applaud the efficient lunchtime sex habits of Michael Culhane (Wayne Northrop) and the magical properties of chocolate cookies baked up by Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood). For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

105 - Fallon's Wedding

Thu, 06 Jun 2019 14:02:50 +0000

Happy Pride Month! In this week's edition of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari discuss the totally awkward reunion of Steven Carrington (Al Corley) and his estranged domestic partner, scrutinize the interior design of the Dynasty offices, and rant about Michael Culhane (Wayne Northrop), the worst chauffeur in the history of chauffeurs. For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

104 - The Dinner Party

Thu, 30 May 2019 15:00:12 +0000

You are cordially invited to a drunken Dynasty dinner party. In this week's episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari debate whether $75,000 is too much for Krystle Carrington (Linda Evans) to spend on a fancy new wardrobe and if Matthew Blaisdel (Bo Hopkins) went too far insinuating that the Carrington mansion also functions as a brothel. For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

Watch The Dinner Party on Amazon:

https://amzn.to/31XrN8F

Watch The Dinner Party on iTunes:

https://apple.co/2TS4eeK

103 - The Honeymoon

Thu, 23 May 2019 15:35:29 +0000

It's time for the Carrington honeymoon on Dynasty! Or not. In this week's recap, Dynasty As They Wanna Be hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari are living for the way Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) overcomes her fear of driving and how Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) berates his staff in their jammies. Also, Derrik and Kyler are in total agreement on the Look of the Week. For more information, visit nastypodcast.com.

Watch The Honeymoon on Amazon:

https://amzn.to/2KMQsHl

Watch The Honeymoon on iTunes:

https://apple.co/2Nqv3Fw

102 - Oil: Part 2

Mon, 20 May 2019 18:48:07 +0000

In the second installment of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari argue over whether bad interior design made Claudia Blaisdel (Pamela Bellwood) go insane, if Jeff Colby (John James) is a bro or a yuppie, and if mustached oil man Walter Lankershim (Dale Robertson) is bad at business. Also, Kyler explains why all of the Carringtons' friends drive Ford automobiles.

101 - Oil: Part 1

Sat, 18 May 2019 17:05:30 +0000

In the first episode of Dynasty As They Wanna Be, hosts Derrik J. Lang and Kyler K. Jafari explain why a podcast about the landmark 1980s television series Dynasty is relevant today and examine the prime-time soap opera's inaugural installment, which features wicked oil tycoon Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) preparing to marry his secretary Krystle Jennings (Linda Evans) in a really unfortunate wedding gown.

Watch Oil: Part 1 on Amazon: https://amzn.to/2ZkXh74
Watch Oil: Part 1 on iTunes: https://apple.co/31UumZ5