Unwanted Answers

Episode 56: Unwanted Christmas Special IX

Wed, 24 Dec 2025 05:00:05 +0000

Merry merry! For a ninth year in a row we answer (unasked for) questions and queries about the holidays. We talk the first ever Christmas card, being gifted way too much unwanted food, a good way to spice up family gatherings, and even talk about an elephant in the room!

Episode 55: Floor Vitamins

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 21:29:26 +0000

In this episode we talk about a Philly trip, condolences, the 5-second rule, and being left off of holiday cards.

Episode 54: An Unwanted Halloween

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 15:42:11 +0000

In this year's Halloween Special, we talk about trick-or-treating in the rich neighborhood, a haunted northern Michigan hotel, do a tarot read on a recurring guest, and remind you to cough up the candy.

Episode 53: AI Could Never Make This Episode

Tue, 02 Sep 2025 04:00:11 +0000

We talk our typical absurdities like the Kentucky Meat Shower and mailing children via USPS, but this episode takes a surprising turn into ranting and joking about AI and LLM’s: something we both passionately despite. Fortunately for us, as human beings, we can create things like this podcast.

Episode 52: Friday the 13th Special

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 03:03:50 +0000

In this episode we pay tribute to the unlucky day itself by talking about frat knights, the cursed Robert the Doll, smelly cruises, and a man named Unlucky Bob.

And here begins Season 9 of Unwanted Answers! What a good day to start!

Episode 51: The 2025 Unwanted New Year’s Special

Tue, 31 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In our 2nd annual Unwanted New Year’s Special, this time in honor of the upcoming year of 2025, we not only make NEW bold predictions for this next year, we also cover last year’s psychic predictions and prove our abilities.

We also discuss Numbers Guy’s new years resolution, and give tips for how to host a good new year’s party!

Episode 50: Unwanted Christmas Special VIII

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 05:52:23 +0000

It's not only our 8th annual Unwanted Christmas Special, it's also our 50th episode of Unwanted Answers! It's the season where we do all that we normally do on this deeply unwanted show, but now with royalty free holiday music and answers to questions about how to cope with the holidays! (And death looming). We discuss some cartoons needing to be deeply sad, learn about Unabomber Santa's side gig, discuss bootleg DVD's as gifts, and we hear from a snobby Christmas decoration critic. All wrapped up nicely for you to reject!

Episode 49: Wheel of Segments

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode we spin a wheel full of our usual segments to see what fate wants us to answer to!

Episode 48: It Could Be Worse

Wed, 27 Nov 2024 22:00:11 +0000

In this episode we talk about lot about weddings! Good and bad… Plus; the Wicked doll incident, Flintstone vitamins being the fountain of youth, and dealing with a stinky dead tooth – and we remember that it could always be worse (probably).

Episode 47: Motortricycle

Mon, 05 Aug 2024 04:00:00 +0000

We talk about being too young to play Call of Duty, the secret section of video stores, bicycles v. tricycles, living in a constant state of paranoia, and play another UA Stinky Tomato game! This time we guess scores for Kevin James films.

Episode 46: Oops! All Jeff

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 04:00:00 +0000

We talk about major cities, what happened to country music, unusual cocktails, and Jeff’s experience with alien cloning.

Episode 45: Recurring Cast Madness Bracket

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 21:40:00 +0000

In this episode we answer how to deal with a ruined birthday, how to give unlicensed tattoos, and discuss Soylent and hating mouth sounds! Also in this episode – a new segment! A sports event greater than any other happening in the first quarter of this year, where we pit our recurring guests against each other – it’s Unwanted Answers Recurring Cast Madness Bracket 2024. Who will win?

Episode 44: Huck's Stinky Tomato Game

Fri, 01 Mar 2024 23:42:12 +0000

In this episode we talk about hating haircuts, water, taxes, our beautiful* country, Moose Murders on Broadway, and we answer questions like: What if you love someone who can’t be located? What’s the best way to deal with an over-gifter?

And excitingly, we introduce a new segment!: Our take on the Rotten Tomatoes guessing game; The Stinky Tomato Game: Sandler Edition (Brought to you by Huck).

*physically, not personality-wise.

Watch the video version of Huck’s Stinky Tomato Game on our YouTube channel!: https://www.youtube.com/@altdpodcasts

Episode 43: The 2024 Unwanted New Year's Special

Sun, 31 Dec 2023 18:12:37 +0000

In this special first-ever NEW YEAR’s episode of Unwanted Answers, we talk about all things to think about going into the new year. Dogs, Rome, eggs, blood, calendars, pancakes, being framed, and a comprehensive history of Uncle Al and Aunt Ash. Finally, we give our official Unwanted Answers 2024 predictions — do we have what it takes to be among the best future-tellers? So follow us into 2024 and see how correct we were!

We also cap this episode off with some audio from our “holiday party” featuring all of our favorite reoccurring guests! That means you can join us in welcoming the new year by starting this episode at exactly 9:13:44PM to hear us count down to midnight!

Episode 42: Unwanted Christmas Special VII

Sun, 24 Dec 2023 05:00:00 +0000

It’s the 7th Unwanted Answers Christmas Special! Hoo-wee! In this special holiday episode, we talk about past holidays (including a most embarrassing Christmas story), historical December 25ths from the past, allergies to Christmas spirit, Unabomber Santa, furbabies, and finding a long lost pet named Fluffy as the final Christmas miracle of the year.

Episode 41: A Completely Normal Episode...

Wed, 20 Sep 2023 04:00:00 +0000

In this normal episode of Unwanted Answers, we give some advice to callers. What if you feel like a bee? What if you can't stand your coworker's mouth noises? We answer that and more, and of course, nothing is out of the ordinary in this episode!

This episode of Unwanted Answers is sponsored by:

The Hungry Mermaid

Babyface Antonio's Loan Service

Huck's Plumbing

Use code: HOOWEE at checkout.

Episode 40: Unwanted Christmas Special VI

Sat, 24 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

For our 6(66)th annual Unwanted Answers holiday special, we talk about Christmas movies (good and bad. very very bad), we talk about the origin of Christmas cards and all the special cards we got from our special guest friends. We talk to our returning guest the Unemployed Actor about his Christmas roles, we talk about a wonderful gift to get your friends and family, and finally — we talk about mending a broken family around the holidays. Sweet stuff.

Episode 39: We Quit

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode we discuss quitting jobs, really flat hats, really smart relatives, really weird beverages, garbage traditions, R rated movies, and whether you really NEED to send a thank you note.

Episode 38: Hauntingly Thin

Wed, 23 Mar 2022 12:00:00 +0000

In this episode we cover all the hard-hitting topics. Politics. The Arts. Sexism. Death. Love. Drugs. Religion. Speaking of religion—God forgive us because we also look at some NFT’s. *shudder*

Yup, we get a little PG-13 this episode. But don’t worry — we bleep the F word. We’re not monsters…

Episode 37: Unwelcome Gossip

Wed, 16 Mar 2022 20:46:47 +0000

In this episode we talk about starting new eras, family lines full of disappointment, and urine in a coffee cup. And can you believe it – another new segment! Listen in. Please. I don't want to beg.

Episode 36: Unwanted Christmas Special V

Sat, 25 Dec 2021 11:00:00 +0000

Happy Holidays, a Merry Christmas, and also sorry.

In this 5th annual Christmas Special, we talk about crappy gifts, the fantasy lore of the founding fathers, the Mouse Candle (please, please buy–we can't afford this show going on like this on zero pennies) and what to do if an unwanted relative insists on visiting.

This episode also has a very real sponsorship!!

Episode 35: Cheddar Bay Biscuits

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 21:11:59 +0000

Due to a 100% budget cut (from $0.01 to $0.00) this episode has been released late, but it's here! Just in time for the holidays! Speaking of holidays, our 5th annual Unwanted Christmas Special is coming out THIS CHRISTMAS DAY! Thank POD. So consider this episode a little stocking-stuffer (AKA, something you will forget about in like an hour and never again cherish the memory of).

Episode 34: The Drifter

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:30:00 +0000

Well, that was nice while it lasted. Paul is back for some Paul's Product Placement. We talk about some wild "what's been going on recently," learn about an overlooked and forgotten part of Civil War era history, and look at life through the eyes of a drifter.

Episode 33: The Roger Era

Fri, 02 Jul 2021 03:50:01 +0000

It's a new era for Unwanted Answers. Where we have to answer the biggest question of all–Where do we go from here when Yahoo Answers is no more? Well, it turns out it's a pretty similar show, with all of your favorite segments and guests galore. Things are only ever going to be good and go our way from here on out!

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Episode 32: The Finale

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 04:00:00 +0000

Yahoo Answers has been permanently shut down. What does this mean for our show? In this (“final”) episode of Unwanted Answers, we hold a funeral for the show we loved, when nobody else did. We talk about whether to shower with your eyes closed, Johnson & Johnson (please get vaccinated everyone), a radical proposition for the 50 states, getting to the Sun, an innovative new way to do art, Pluto, and starting a dried fruit business. It’s the grand finale.

Stay tuned, for later in the episode – a special report about our producer Paul.

Welcome to Season 5! And goodbye…

Episode 31: Furious George and the Hateful Ape

Wed, 10 Mar 2021 22:04:37 +0000

In this episode we get nostalgic again, talking about our local TV channels, and kids’ shows on PBS (good and bad). We also discuss children’s books, AMERICA, McDonald’s, and what to do about “Nathan.” And all allotted in a time longer than an entire particular presidency.

Episode 30: Man-Ant

Thu, 25 Feb 2021 20:36:44 +0000

For our 30th episode we catch up on what we missed since last time–with each other, and the world–and there was a lot to cover! An actual fond memory of the past. A tale of a D&D character death. The political and viral sphere. And lastly for today, we answer a question which brings the mysterious Man-Ant to the forefront.

Episode 29: Unwanted Christmas Special IV

Wed, 23 Dec 2020 05:00:00 +0000

In 2020—Christmas comes with a vengeance. Join us for our 4th annual holiday special episode where we answer *holiday* themed questions from the internet. Find out what 100% of Unwanted Answers hosts now have in common, and hear what our recurring guests are up to this holiday season. We also list off some of the WORST gift ideas [Does Paul read this far into the description? Paul, if you’re reading this, I meant GOOD gift ideas] and talk about xmas history.

Episode 28: Chicken Salad Corruption

Wed, 09 Dec 2020 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode we talk about cats (the animal, not the musical), check in again with Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, and answer equally important questions we're equally qualified to answer such as; whether eating chicken salad makes you corrupt, and whether a grandmother should be in the delivery room for their grandchild's birth.

Episode 27: Crow Boy

Fri, 20 Nov 2020 04:09:01 +0000

In this episode recorded on Friday the 13th, we talk about our respective Halloweens, and ever scarier—the week of the 2020 election! This episode is the political show that no one asked for (don’t worry, it’s still light-hearted). But then we finally get on to our questions and other regular segments. Find out progress that’s been made to have crows save the world, then maybe we won’t need politics! Just Crow Boy…

Episode 26: Unhinged Halloween

Thu, 29 Oct 2020 04:00:00 +0000

In this special Halloween episode we talk literally getting coronavirus and other horrors of the month of October. We talk about Halloween history, and answer the most pressing Halloween themed questions from the internet. How can I make people think I’m a vampire? How do I go to the store in full clown costume? It’s our first Halloween Special of Unwanted Answers!

Episode 25: The 25th Episode Special

Wed, 07 Oct 2020 04:00:00 +0000

It's a big milestone for Unwanted Answers—the big quarter-hundred episode extravaganza! Join us for our biggest episode yet, as we talk to many of our favorite guests like Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, Huck, Babyface Antonio, The Captain, The Skipper, Numbers Guy, The Unemployed Actor (and unfortunately producer Paul dodged our requests for an in-person interview in favor of continued veiled threats).

Unwanted Answers has changed a lot since episode one, but we still remember the good old days! In between our regular segments and answering questions you'll hear us revisit some older questions from the very beginning.

Thanks everyone for joining us for our 25th episode milestone, one we can't say we expected to get to, and we can't say anyone wanted us to get to, and yet here it is! And somehow, it's not ending anytime soon either, but, who knows, if we lose our 1-5 cent funding for this thing we might be cancelled before we have a chance to say goodbye. Here's to 26, and so on!

Episode 24: Uncle Al and Aunt Ash

Thu, 20 Aug 2020 04:00:00 +0000

In this episode we answer what to do if you worry someone thinks you’re following them, whether you can legally buy alcohol while drunk, we hear the beginnings of the wonderful lifelong relationship between Uncle Al and Aunt Ash, and we talk about Cracker Barrel.

Episode 23: Flying Mammal Man

Mon, 27 Jul 2020 04:00:00 +0000

In this episode we talk about our worst restaurants for a great length of time before talking about a disappointing bridge, what to do if you’re bitten by a bat and become the real-life Batman (or, for copyright purposes, something else), and what to do if you suspect contaminated fast food.

Episode 22: The Family

Fri, 03 Jul 2020 19:36:32 +0000

In this episode we talk about a complicated family pregnancy test drama, a brother overshadowed by his more criminally successful brothers, a beloved bee, and the return of Babyface Antonio. It’s the episode of family drama.

Episode 21: 21 Forever

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 01:15:45 +0000

In this episode, we we let problem-havers know what they should do when they're in love with their dog, when you don't want to turn 22, and the moral quandary of whether you should sneak jumps on your neighbor's trampoline. Sponsered by the phone-answering robot.

Episode 20: Black Market Spinach

Sat, 16 May 2020 18:27:39 +0000

In this episode we talk about life in quarantine. We talk about losing $37 and present the First Annual Robby Awards. We talk about Popeye, and method acting as a cat. It's Season 4 of Unwanted Answers! Those protesters are somethin', huh?

Episode 19: Batteries Included

Tue, 14 Apr 2020 18:50:56 +0000

In this episode we address the elephant in the room, talk about the bold return of a scammer, the the return of the numbers guy, answer what to do if you’re a mother and your daughter annoyingly keeps calling you mother, and most excitingly—batteries!

Episode 18: Unwanted Christmas Special III

Tue, 24 Dec 2019 05:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Unwanted Answers Christmas Special III: Skipper’s Worst Christmas. In this episode, just in the nick of time, we talk about everything the holiday spirit is all about. Bathroom humor, Santa breaking your legs, Your mom’s affair, a threatening child mafia boss, and never getting what you want in the end (just like the skipper). Like a present you never wanted, this special holiday episode is wrapped up and here again!

Episode 17: Ten Feet Away

Tue, 03 Dec 2019 05:00:00 +0000

In this episode we talk about avoiding being indoctrinated into a cult, an extremely risque story involving removing gloves, how to explain to your dad why you bought $70 protein powder, always staying 10 feet away from everyone, and more! All while under quite a bit of fire from our producer.

Episode 16: Literally Dirty Money

Thu, 01 Aug 2019 03:35:21 +0000

In this episode we talk about frog charity, a clean bank robber, horse trauma, the mysterious case of Buckwheat, and more!

Episode 15: Huck the Prospector

Fri, 19 Jul 2019 02:53:08 +0000

We're back! And unwanted! This episode we talk about a tragically stolen pen, tainted popcorn, dirty jeans, the #1 late-career Adam Sandler fan, and more!

Episode 14: Unwanted Christmas Special II

Mon, 24 Dec 2018 00:01:28 +0000

Were back with our 2nd Unwanted Christmas Special In this episode we answer holiday questions such as How can Santa be more environmentally conscious What if your favorite shirt stops being sold just before Christmas What if youre living in a Christmas decoration overloaded nightmare Find out in this very special and very unwanted episode Also Our worst Christmas gifts and thievery Just in time for the holidays Dont trust the skipper

Episode 13: Method Acting as a Spider

Sat, 27 Oct 2018 16:41:54 +0000

In episode unlucky 13 we tell stories about begging for 4 dollars introducing yourself as Bob and some longlasting pottery trauma We even enthusiastically sign up for MySpace live on the podcast Also we urge everyone to take the role seriously when you dress up as a black widow watch some odd videos andas two grown menimitate a babytalking person until you truly want this show less than you ever haveApologies again for parts with lackluster audio technology has betrayed us

Episode 12: Numb3rs N3v3r D13

Sun, 23 Sep 2018 20:11:07 +0000

When does a wish at 1111 come true Is this guy from WalMart my longlost brother Thats right were back and more honest than ever for season 2 this time with new segments where well let you know what happened on this day in history present a rap thatll teach you how to prepare the perfect fast food burger and even show just how Star Wars Prequel quotes can be applied to answer any questionApologies for any lackluster audio in this episode technology betrayed us Also a warning for some vague Infinity War spoilers but to be fair with names completely removed so its vague enough

Episode 11: Will It Ever Be 1999 Again?

Wed, 22 Aug 2018 02:20:24 +0000

You certainly didnt ask for it yet here it is Another Unwanted Answers with no answers but we do reminisce as is often a segment on the show remembering the end of the year 1999 and the toll it took on us that it ended at all We talk about old Mac educational software stupid kindergarteners and a favorite childrens book series Also we reveal some potential new segment ideas for the pod You didnt ask for this and hey neither did we this wasnt even originally an Unwanted Answers episode But here it is after too long of a break were backSource KURTdp77 on YouTube for the KidPix sound effectspp1 margin 00px 00px 00px 00px font 120px Helvetica Neue color e4af0a

Episode 10: Unwanted Anniversary

Tue, 29 May 2018 05:20:36 +0000

Unwanted Answers is 1 year old No one wanted it to begin with but here we are one year later One years worth of questions and for this celebratory episode ending season 1 we go back through memory lane and reread some of our most memorable questions We reminisce on everything weve learning over the course of Unwanted Answers and the morals weve incorporated into our lives thanks to the questions others on the internet have asked And here a year later still no one asked for any of this Yet here it is

Episode 9: Nowhere To Go But Down

Tue, 15 May 2018 08:03:51 +0000

We answer some actual questions this week such as What if your mom wont give you the iPhone X Which superpower would you choose the ability to talk to ducks or find any good parking space Whats the best way to receive flowers And we do some Star Wars prequel quoting Join us for this total downer of an episode D

Episode 8: Ungiven Answers

Tue, 08 May 2018 02:33:40 +0000

This week we answer NOTHINGthats right no one asked for the answers and well no one got them We do however chat at length about enthralling topics such as signing petitions substitute teachers libraries Titanic 2 the Blockbuster employee training video featuring the greatest method actor of our generation and the biggest reveal of the show so far

Episode 7: The Smarties Sniffers

Tue, 01 May 2018 03:28:34 +0000

In this Unwanted Answers we talk at length about the true crime tale of the century the middle school Smarties sniffers but after plenty of reminiscing and much talk about The Office we answer questions too Including How does one best depict Danny Devito in a painting Which animals are real Why did my boss invite me to his wedding You didnt ask for the answers but here they are

Episode 6: Gifted and Talented

Fri, 16 Feb 2018 19:26:59 +0000

In this Unwanted Answers we correctly answer topics such as writing a letter to a judge dealing with being stalked by girl scouts what to do if a demon falls in love with you opening a restaurant in a funeral home and do labels given in 4th grade last for life These are the questions with answers you didnt ask for

Episode 5: Unwanted Christmas Special

Thu, 21 Dec 2017 05:38:33 +0000

In this Holiday Special episode of Unwanted Answers we answer what to do about a dying Christmas tree sending a Christmas card to your mistress being shocked with Christmas lights not getting a scooter from Santa and the upcoming Christmas Extended Universe Its the Unwanted Answers Christmas Special a holiday tradition you already wish would go away

Episode 4: Attack of Lightning McQueen

Thu, 07 Sep 2017 03:15:10 +0000

On this posttrilogy episode of Unwanted Answers we become psychics by holding a tarot card reading answer how to escape Lightning McQueen ponder European FastFood chains in the USA the problem with throwing corn cobs on someones lawn and walking on the sun

Episode 3: Farewell, Rubber Ducky

Wed, 23 Aug 2017 13:43:05 +0000

In this return episode of Unwanted Answers we answer just what to do if you see a dinosaur what to do if you accidentally eat a penny living without your rubber ducky and how to safely look at a picture of the sun We also experience a blast from the past the likes of which we never thought wed see again And again And again

Episode 2: Robert California Hate Club

Thu, 08 Jun 2017 16:02:25 +0000

On this episode of Unwanted Answers Adam and Tyler answer more questions before getting sidetracked talking about The Office We eventually answer thrilling questions Can you sue a pizza place How was the Grand Canyon created What is the king of the Jungle Can you share embarrassing stories about your parents Find out on Unwanted Answers

Episode 1: Drunk Music Teacher

Tue, 30 May 2017 02:53:43 +0000

Hosts Adam and Tyler give the answers no one wanted to questions found on the internet We talk about if psychics are real can you name a jerky business Bambi are horoscopes wrong about marriage and Golden Carole vs Buffalo Wild wings Youve got questions weve got answers Not the ones you were hoping for but weve still got them